How Long Is Too Long To Wait For A Temple Marriage?


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1 hour ago, dddd said:

Ok first off Sunday, the REAL solution is not polygamy, but for the men to get their act up and get it together and BE ACTIVE AGAIN. Maybe, as active members, instead of ministering to lonely old women whose primary needs are simply social, we should minister to young men whose needs are 100% spiritual. So as to prevent these old maids from becoming old...and maids. And @FunkyTown that's kind of where my questions stems from. Better that a righteous woman find someone who will marry her where she can raise a righteous future generation than grow old only to be put on someone's rather pointless ministering list.

Pointless...that stings! These ladies will need help getting to the doctor and filling in tax forms and picking up drugs. I think it will be a full time job.

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6 hours ago, dddd said:

Ok first off Sunday, the REAL solution is not polygamy, but for the men to get their act up and get it together and BE ACTIVE AGAIN. Maybe, as active members, instead of ministering to lonely old women whose primary needs are simply social, we should minister to young men whose needs are 100% spiritual. So as to prevent these old maids from becoming old...and maids. And @FunkyTown that's kind of where my questions stems from. Better that a righteous woman find someone who will marry her where she can raise a righteous future generation than grow old only to be put on someone's rather pointless ministering list.

Yeah. The men aren't really stepping up with regards to this.

It bodes ill for what will happen in the next little bit.

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On 6/8/2018 at 6:56 PM, dddd said:

Ultimately he broke up with me because of family disapproval which he knows is important to me. I think I commented about it on your marriage

advice page. It was only later I expressed to him I could not be committed to someone who wasn't temple ready, as he was saying he hoped it would work in the future.

But aside from his issues, my family knew nothing about that. They still encouraged me to break up with him over an age difference. Danged if I do, danged if I don't I guess. My aunt literally said she knew no one in my age bracket to set me up with because they were all married, and then proceeded to tell me what an awful idea it was to date someone older than me.

I know some people who have had success using Mutual. 

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2 minutes ago, JayKi said:

I dont want to judge but using things like Mutual is bad idea 

Why do you say this?

We have many young sisters and virtually no men. The young men are not interested in women. Not kidding.

If there is a problem with Mutual, it would be good to know.

Edited by Sunday21
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Just now, Sunday21 said:

Why do you say this? We have many young sisters and virtually no men. The young men are not interested in women. Not kidding.

Why are the men not interested in women?

I just think is too orchestrate and is better to meet with women authentic way. I wouldnt let my sister use online way to meet men, it is sordid. 

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22 minutes ago, JayKi said:

Why are the men not interested in women?

I just think is too orchestrate and is better to meet with women authentic way. I wouldnt let my sister use online way to meet men, it is sordid. 

The young men have a range of issues: autism, low IQ, mental instability. The more capable ones have left or occasionally attend church full of resentment.

We do bad things to the capable young men who have a testimony. We overburden the capable young men with callings. We ask them to go and help in emergency situations during the school year. There are more young women so the work is shared. But I do not know who these women will marry.

In my ward of those who attend, we have 13 capable young women and 3 not very capable young men. I have had a stake calling so I know that the pattern is similar throughout the Stake. These women will grow old without having children and who will look after them in their old age?

Most of these young women have no plans to earn a living. Their career plan is marriage. What is going to happen?

Some of these young women have been raised as though they are dolls. No career plan. No concept of reality. I am afraid for them.

I have been asked to work in the young womem’s program but I cannot bear to stand in front of these young women and teach from the manual when what they need is career counselling. Their parents cannot afford to support them.

What is going to happen? These women are going to live their lives in poverty. It is difficult to both hold employment and attend church in my city  unless you own a car. It is possible but the part if the city that you would need to live is unpleasant.

I fear for these young women. We have failed to prepare them for life. @dddd. Please tell me that you have a plan to earn a living! 

Edited by Sunday21
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10 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

Most of these young women have no plans to earn a living. Their career plan is marriage. What is going to happen?

 

But is problem for the women they should have a career. Even my fiancee since she was 17 she knew she will marry me but she still train as Accountant because if I die when we have children then she will need to provide for them. I make all my sister go for university so they can care for themself on their own. 

 

12 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

In my ward of those who attend, we have 13 capable young women and 3 not very capable young men. I have had a stake calling so I know that the pattern is similar throughout the Stake. These women will grow old without having children and who will look after them in their old age?

 

I think is important to teach women to go for education and try hard to work for a career before they have children then to stop. 

 

Also, do you live in isolate place because even where I used to live in Costa Rica there was YSA ward that had lot of young men and women 

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12 minutes ago, JayKi said:

 

But is problem for the women they should have a career. Even my fiancee since she was 17 she knew she will marry me but she still train as Accountant because if I die when we have children then she will need to provide for them. I make all my sister go for university so they can care for themself on their own. 

 

I think is important to teach women to go for education and try hard to work for a career before they have children then to stop. 

 

Also, do you live in isolate place because even where I used to live in Costa Rica there was YSA ward that had lot of young men and women 

We do not have many lds people in my country. We have a lot of land and not many people. As the world becomes warmer more of the frozen land becomes good farm land. More people move to the land that is warmer. So fewer people per square inch. In my area, the lds people do not have a higher education. Religious people with little education sometimes do not bother to educate their daughters. Why bother? The girls will marry. Well there are very few lds young men who attend church here. Those that do have problems.

The general pattern is that intelligent psychologically healthy young men are less active. If they remain active, we give them too much to do. The young women have very little education after high school. If they do get more education, it is for a job that earns very little. 

The older generation realizes that there is a problem but we don’t do anything. In the next 5 years, what will happen? The young women move. I am glad.

My country’s economy is going to go through a very hard time in the next decade. When that happens young people with little education will suffer.

 

Edited by Sunday21
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7 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

We do not have many lds people in my country. We have a lot of land and not many people. As the world becomes warmer more of the frozen land becomes good farm land. More people move to the land that is warmer. So fewer people per square inch. In my area, the lds people do not have a higher education. Religious people with little education sometimes do not bother educate their daughters. Why bother? The girls will marry. Well there are very few lds young men who attend church here. Those that do have problems.

The general pattern is that intelligent psychologically healthy young men are less active. If they remain active, we give them too much to do. The young women are very little education after high school. If they do get more education, it is for a job that earns very little. 

 The older generation realizes that there is a problem but we don’t do anything. In the next 5 years, what will happen? The young women move. I am glad.

My country’s economy is going to go through a very hard time in the next decade. When that happens young people with little education will suffer.

 

I think future is uncertain for everyone but if you can get an education at least you have always that to fall back on. 

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10 minutes ago, JayKi said:

I think future is uncertain for everyone but if you can get an education at least you have always that to fall back on. 

Yes I agree. I do not think that all types of education are equal. There needs to be a job in that area. The job needs to provide enough money to save for the future, to educate your children. 

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8 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

Yes I agree. I do not think that all types of education are equal. There needs to be a job in that area. The job needs to provide enough money to save for the future, to educate your children. 

Is also important for a man to learn how to be skilful domestically. If my wife become unwell or pass away then I need to know how to cook, clean, and manage house. When I told my aunt I was getting married she made me learn to do everything for myself because I always had either my mother, grandmother or sister do it for me. Is important to teach men and women everything need to be responsible for a family so if husband or wife are unable to do it family can survive. I think the church need emphasise this more.

Edited by JayKi
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15 hours ago, JayKi said:

Is also important for a man to learn how to be skilful domestically. If my wife become unwell or pass away then I need to know how to cook, clean, and manage house. When I told my aunt I was getting married she made me learn to do everything for myself because I always had either my mother, grandmother or sister do it for me. Is important to teach men and women everything need to be responsible for a family so if husband or wife are unable to do it family can survive. I think the church need emphasise this more.

That's what the entire Scouts program is all about.

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8 hours ago, dddd said:

If that's true then good riddance because there is hardly a domestic thing about the scouting program.

You either haven't been in a Scouts program or whoever runs your Scout program are not following the program.  Kitchen Patrol is an integral part of a Scout Camp.  And that's just one of them.  You can't really go through an entire week of Scout Camp that happens multiple times a year without taking care of the domestic side of life - unless you let girls into your camp and tell them to do the domestic stuff, which is silly.  And that's why Scouts can't go to camp unless they first learn the domestic stuff - like budgeting, meal planning, grocery shopping, cleanliness, proper grooming, etc. etc.

Edited by anatess2
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