How Long Is Too Long To Wait For A Temple Marriage?


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1 hour ago, Overwatch said:

ex: 30 yr old woman dating a 25 yr old man. He will not be on the same level BUT some men are very willing to step up and learn from their future wife.

What about different age brackets all together? I broke up with a man who was 18 years older than me because my family disapproved of an age difference. My aunt was especially opinionated. But I feel like a woman in her mid twenties dating a man 18 years older is not so worrisome as a teenage girl marrying her boyfriend who was 4 years older than her within days of graduating high school, which is exactly what my aunt did.

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34 minutes ago, zil said:

That means that if Grandma and Grandpa keep their covenants, they will be sealed together as husband and wife in the highest degree of glory (in the Celestial kingdom) and will have exaltation and eternal lives, as promised in scripture.  There is no higher blessing they can receive.

 

But that leads me to another question, how can someone "keep their covenants" after they have died? If get to the after-life you would know for sure what is true or not.

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2 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Thank you, I read it. One of my problems, and I wish there was a better explanation to why temple marriage got so important only in the D&C, why is there no mention of Jesus being married in the temple in Bible or the BOM, or that he was married at all?

It's not that the subject matter (sealing) itself became more important, but that our understanding of it grew over time (and is still growing).  

2 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Plus in both of the articles they talk about how much better a marriage is if you know it is for eternity. I know lots of strong marriage that did not begin in a temple.

 

Of course there are plenty of strong marriages of folks who didn't get married in the temple!  Such marriages are great things- Godly things actually.  Being married in the temple is not a magical "you're going to have an easy peasy time" ticket.  Marriage is still hard work.  Going into a marriage with a devotion to God committed to living the Law of Chastity, committed to rest of the Gospel, the mindset that it's for forever-- all of those things do (in my observation) increase the probability of a stronger marriage.  But there are no free rides, and great non-LDS marriages do exist too. 

2 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

What if you married to quickly, and the person you married isn't someone you want in your family for all eternity?

You still have a choice as to whether or not you want to be with them.   Note: the the person you'll ultimately be with is  the God-like perfected version of that person, and you yourself will be the God-like perfected version of you.  Not the current sin-loving versions.

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1 minute ago, dddd said:

What about different age brackets all together? I broke up with a man who was 18 years older than me because my family disapproved of an age difference. My aunt was especially opinionated. But I feel like a woman in her mid twenties dating a man 18 years older is not so worrisome as a teenage girl marrying her boyfriend who was 4 years older than her within days of graduating high school, which is exactly what my aunt did.

It's not the same thing, especially since you have served a mission already. If the man was righteous then maybe he needs to take some time to get to know your father and mother. You will always be seen as your Daddy's baby girl. Give him some time. If this 40+ year old man was the one not wanting to go to his Bishop then you have your answer right there.

 

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6 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

why is there no mention of Jesus being married in the temple in Bible or the BOM, or that he was married at all?

Plus in both of the articles they talk about how much better a marriage is if you know it is for eternity. I know lots of strong marriage that did not begin in a temple.

People make fun of the virgin Mary so much. Imagine how they would exploit his wife. Horrid. And if you read, really read, it strongly implies Jesus was married.

And point being with the strong marriages not being in the temple, we haven't seen the end or even the behind the scenes in a lot of cases. ALSO, if you follow the principles that God has outlined for success and marital happiness (which are contained in the commandments/temple covenants) no matter who you are or if you have access to them or not you'll be blessed. To say that no marriage outside of a temple is happy is like saying that no one who doesn't take a financial success seminar will be rich. It may be the best seminar in the world, but if you live principles regardless if you were formally taught them or not you will get the results.

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1 minute ago, TurboGirl said:

But that leads me to another question, how can someone "keep their covenants" after they have died? 

The two great commandments: love the Lord God, and love your fellow man.  A spirit can indeed keep those and honor their bond with God.  

1 minute ago, TurboGirl said:

If get to the after-life you would know for sure what is true or not.

LDS don't believe your physical body dies and then you magically know what's true or not.  No, people still have learning to do.

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Just now, TurboGirl said:

But that leads me to another question, how can someone "keep their covenants" after they have died? If get to the after-life you would know for sure what is true or not.

We do not believe that one will remember or otherwise suddenly know all at death.  We believe that the spirit world is much like this one, just without bodies.  If we suddenly knew the truth, Christ would not have needed to send people to preach to the spirits in prison (spirit prison).  So, after death, one will continue trying to come closer to Christ (keeping covenants).

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2 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

It's not the same thing, especially since you have served a mission already. If the man was righteous then maybe he needs to take some time to get to know your father and mother. You will always be seen as your Daddy's baby girl. Give him some time. If this 40+ year old man was the one not wanting to go to his Bishop then you have your answer right there.

 

Ultimately he broke up with me because of family disapproval which he knows is important to me. I think I commented about it on your marriage

advice page. It was only later I expressed to him I could not be committed to someone who wasn't temple ready, as he was saying he hoped it would work in the future.

But aside from his issues, my family knew nothing about that. They still encouraged me to break up with him over an age difference. Danged if I do, danged if I don't I guess. My aunt literally said she knew no one in my age bracket to set me up with because they were all married, and then proceeded to tell me what an awful idea it was to date someone older than me.

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2 minutes ago, dddd said:

Ultimately he broke up with me because of family disapproval which he knows is important to me. I think I commented about it on your marriage

advice page. It was only later I expressed to him I could not be committed to someone who wasn't temple ready, as he was saying he hoped it would work in the future.

But aside from his issues, my family knew nothing about that. They still encouraged me to break up with him over an age difference. Danged if I do, danged if I don't I guess. My aunt literally said she knew no one in my age bracket to set me up with because they were all married, and then proceeded to tell me what an awful idea it was to date someone older than me.

I think you did the right thing based on the second reason. If he was ready I would have encouraged him earning your family's trust. If you were willing to deal with the age difference then I don't see a problem. Just remember that he will always be 18 years older than you as long as you are both alive. When old age hits, sometimes it comes like a thief in the night and goes downhill quick. Be ready to care for an ailing man sooner than later (most likely) OR you might be his fountain of youth :P

But seriously. You are an adult, again, if he was ready I would have said go for it. I think you are doing the right thing at this moment. Seeking advice from The Lord, Leaders, parents and now your peers.  :)

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2 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

But seriously. You are an adult, again, if he was ready I would have said go for it. I think you are doing the right thing at this moment. Seeking advice from The Lord, Leaders, parentand now your peers.  :)

Thank you! I looked at Pres Nelson and his wife and thought if they could do it why not me but they are very healthy lol. And I feel at peace with the decision but it totally makes me feel like I have missed the marriage train somehow.

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1 minute ago, dddd said:

Thank you! I looked at Pres Nelson and his wife and thought if they could do it why not me but they are very healthy lol. And I feel at peace with the decision but it totally makes me feel like I have missed the marriage train somehow.

You haven't. I responded to your other post "Given some Prophecies..."

Keep up the good the work.

I am going to take my Wife and girls out, FRIDAY night WOOOO!   Be back later. So you or anyone messages me I am not ignoring you and my phone will be on silent. See ya guys in a bit

 

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3 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

You haven't. I responded to your other post "Given some Prophecies..."

Keep up the good the work.

I am going to take my Wife and girls out, FRIDAY night WOOOO!   Be back later. So you or anyone messages me I am not ignoring you and my phone will be on silent. See ya guys in a bit

 

Good job!!!!

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On 6/8/2018 at 4:52 PM, dddd said:

People make fun of the virgin Mary so much. Imagine how they would exploit his wife. Horrid. And if you read, really read, it strongly implies Jesus was married.

We also know through the scriptures that Mary was not a virgin her whole life.  I believe she lived a pure life which included the law of chastity, but Joseph and Mary had a normal marriage relationship after Jesus Christ was born.  I believe she also had other children with Joseph as well after Jesus her firstborn.

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On 6/8/2018 at 10:10 AM, estradling75 said:

It is never too long to wait for a Temple Marriage...  The Lord sees and knows all and our time here in mortality is short.  The Lord has also promised that no blessing will be denied those that are Faithful... even if they do not get it in this life.

Now is it possible the Lord's plan for you includes being married to a non-member?  Sure.  But who you marry (member or not) should be a matter of much fasting and prayer. So that you can be confident you are following his will.

One should not let "fear" drive out faith.  And yes fear of 'losing blessing' that drives us to be unfaithful is "Fear."  Faith enables us to stay on the Lord's path for us even when it looks like it is the harder road, and we can't see how the Lord might bless us.

 

The world has entered the issues on Temple marriage. The world fills your mind with questions.Are you 100 % positive this is the only one forever. This should be the question on any marriage. Either may not want to give up style. The Molly Mormon look is a big change for some.The real issue is about jumping into dedicated adulthood. Temple marriage can be better if understood.

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On 6/8/2018 at 10:18 AM, dddd said:

UM. or if the men would be worthy...sheesh

I is your ward in the mission field? If so look at the gender of adult converts. I suspect that you will see more women than men. It is true that more men leave than women, we lose about a third at mission age. However in the wards in which I have lived, more women join than men.

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On ‎6‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 11:52 PM, dddd said:

Im asking a lot of questions but recebtly read an article on LDS Living ( same title as my post) that addressed women who were not getting proposed to by LDS men, and who were getting to be past the age of child bearong. It justified getting married to men outside of the temple in that case. It said that they should not give up the blessings of being a wife and a mother for a blessing that may never be afforded to them in this life. Do you think that the Lord would withhold blessings from a woman who chose to do so? I mean there are more Temple worthy women in the church than men, so it's just a fact that they're going to be some who are not afforded the blessings of Temple marriage in this life.

Since not all will have the opportunity to marry for eternity in this life, and there may be other opportunities to fulfill one's true vocation, marrying outside the faith is certainly an option to be prayerfully considered.

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On 6/11/2018 at 3:01 PM, Still_Small_Voice said:

We also know through the scriptures that Mary was not a virgin her whole life.  I believe she lived a pure life which included the law of chastity, but Joseph and Mary had a normal marriage relationship after Jesus Christ was born.  I believe she also had other children with Joseph as well after Jesus her firstborn.

Shhhh.... don't tell the Catholics.  It really upsets them.

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On 6/8/2018 at 8:15 PM, Sunday21 said:

The imbalance of the ratio of young men and women causes issues that we need to acknowledge. We need to talk about the path of women who do not find faithful priesthood leaders. These young women will either marry out or remain single. Young women must be raised to earn a living.

@Sunday21 there's no need to talk about it - I think I've already found the answer for you.  :)

(Old Testament | Isaiah 4:1)
AND in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.
 

 

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3 hours ago, askandanswer said:

@Sunday21 there's no need to talk about it - I think I've already found the answer for you.  :)

(Old Testament | Isaiah 4:1)
AND in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.
 

 

An old solution!

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 6/16/2018 at 10:04 PM, askandanswer said:

For old people?

Quite likely given the number of older single women in our pews!

Actually, I am beginning to worry about the older women in our pews generally. My retirement plan is to help look after these people. The ministering program is badly damaged and just limping along here. 

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57 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

Quite likely given the number of older single women in our pews!

Actually, I am beginning to worry about the older women in our pews generally. My retirement plan is to help look after these people. The ministering program is badly damaged and just limping along here. 

There is a part of me that secretly thinks the whole Isaiah '7 women will cling to one man' verse references how few men stay faithful compared to women. It's a disturbing thought, and I certainly don't think it's a guarantee, but I had it when someone read off the stats to me and I saw that there were 7 times as many active single women as men beyond 30.

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41 minutes ago, FunkyTown said:

There is a part of me that secretly thinks the whole Isaiah '7 women will cling to one man' verse references how few men stay faithful compared to women. It's a disturbing thought, and I certainly don't think it's a guarantee, but I had it when someone read off the stats to me and I saw that there were 7 times as many active single women as men beyond 30.

I hate to admit this but...my thoughts as well. 

Edited by Sunday21
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On 6/25/2018 at 7:45 AM, Sunday21 said:

I hate to admit this but...my thoughts as well. 

Ok first off Sunday, the REAL solution is not polygamy, but for the men to get their act up and get it together and BE ACTIVE AGAIN. Maybe, as active members, instead of ministering to lonely old women whose primary needs are simply social, we should minister to young men whose needs are 100% spiritual. So as to prevent these old maids from becoming old...and maids. And @FunkyTown that's kind of where my questions stems from. Better that a righteous woman find someone who will marry her where she can raise a righteous future generation than grow old only to be put on someone's rather pointless ministering list.

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