Backroads Posted June 9, 2018 Report Share Posted June 9, 2018 About a month ago now, my younger child was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. It's been a crazy month for us. The good news is that the treatments she'll be on are pretty much preventative and she's quite healthy all things considered. The bad news is we were sort of planning to have another baby pretty soon. Now, we're terrified. Cystic fibrosis is a genetic condition, and as carriers each kid basically has a 1 in 4 chance of having the disease. However, we have met several families in the community we've now found who have multiple children with cystic fibrosis--including one family with 3 of their 4 children. Right now, we're on "let's figure this out before we revisit the kid thing". But, what if in the future we choose not to have another kid? When this offspring was born, my husband felt rather strongly our family was complete. I like babies, so I was the stronger force in the desire to have another kid. These days, CF is hardly the end of the world it was back in the day, but having another baby with CF terrifies me. Yet, we are encouraged to have children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fether Posted June 9, 2018 Report Share Posted June 9, 2018 Always act in faith instead of fear. I would pray about it but don’t let the fear of what could happen keep you from growing your family Backroads 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted June 9, 2018 Report Share Posted June 9, 2018 Sorry to hear your news @Backroads. Probably the best people to ask for advice are other parents with CF children. They can give you a better idea of what to expect as your child gets older and the ups and downs of being healthy and those times when they are not healthy. M. Sunday21, Backroads and lostinwater 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostinwater Posted June 9, 2018 Report Share Posted June 9, 2018 8 minutes ago, Maureen said: Sorry to hear your news @Backroads. Probably the best people to ask for advice are other parents with CF children. They can give you a better idea of what to expect as your child gets older and the ups and downs of being healthy and those times when they are not healthy. M. +1 And maybe also ask people with CF - or even healthy people who having siblings with CF. They no doubt each have their own unique perspectives. There look to be some great forums out there - which i'm sure you've already seen. http://forums.cysticfibrosis.com/forum.php And so sorry for this - though sorry is such a insufficient word. Maureen and Backroads 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted June 9, 2018 Report Share Posted June 9, 2018 17 minutes ago, Maureen said: Sorry to hear your news @Backroads. Probably the best people to ask for advice are other parents with CF children. They can give you a better idea of what to expect as your child gets older and the ups and downs of being healthy and those times when they are not healthy. M. Perfect advice. You are in my prayers @Backroads. Sending love and support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midwest LDS Posted June 9, 2018 Report Share Posted June 9, 2018 We are encouraged to have children, but at the same time the Prophets and Apostles have specifically said that the size of each family is a private matter between parents and God. I can't tell you whether or not you should have more kids, but I do know that if after thought and prayer you and your husband feel you are done that's perfectly ok. There is no one size fits all family size. Overwatch and Backroads 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted June 10, 2018 Report Share Posted June 10, 2018 13 hours ago, Midwest LDS said: We are encouraged to have children, but at the same time the Prophets and Apostles have specifically said that the size of each family is a private matter between parents and God. I can't tell you whether or not you should have more kids, but I do know that if after thought and prayer you and your husband feel you are done that's perfectly ok. There is no one size fits all family size. This ^ Sorry to hear your news, Backroads. Also keep in mind that adoption is another way to add to your family, there are children who age out of foster care because there are not enough homes...everyone wants a baby . . . My husband and I have talked about fostering teenagers (with adoption as a possibility) when our youngest is out of the house. It's not a good idea to foster or adopt a child older than your own. Most importantly, pray, get a blessing...and reread Midwest's post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted June 10, 2018 Report Share Posted June 10, 2018 (edited) @Backroads I am so sorry to hear your news! My heart goes out to you! Edited June 10, 2018 by Sunday21 Backroads 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted June 10, 2018 Report Share Posted June 10, 2018 @Backroads, prayers for you and your family! Everyone has a different thought/revelatory process. I actually just posted on the "personal revelation" thread, and I personally believe the specific number of children (and the timing of them) is a personal revelation topic. Yes, we are commanded to be fruitful in general, but that doesn't mean "everyone pop out as many kids as quickly as possible!" No, no: the number and timing of any children is a personal discussion between a couple and the Lord. For me, the investigating big question would be "if I have another baby with CF, would I regret having that child?" If the answer is "no", and God wants me to raise another child, I would do so. If the answer is "....." and God wants me to raise another child, then it's time for another round of prayers. Does God tell me "have another baby, God gots this"? Does the Lord encourage me to adopt? There are many questions. It's a long discussion to have. And if could be possible God says "your family is complete as is". Or it could be "wait for now, and the three of us will re-touch on this topic later" Speaking as a math-genetics person: the odds of being a family with 3/4 kids having CF are very small (<5%). Backroads, askandanswer and Sunday21 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted June 11, 2018 Report Share Posted June 11, 2018 About ten years ago I home taught a family with five kids, three of whom had CF. They were an absolute delight and I don’t think the parents regretted their decision at all. (That said, it was certainly a LOT of work for them, and lots of emotional roller coasters.) Backroads 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted June 11, 2018 Report Share Posted June 11, 2018 On 6/10/2018 at 8:18 PM, Sunday21 said: My heart goes out to you! If you're heart has gone elsewhere, are you now heartless? Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted June 11, 2018 Report Share Posted June 11, 2018 I would look into whether anything can be done to lessen the impacts of CF while the baby is still in your womb. Backroads 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted June 11, 2018 Report Share Posted June 11, 2018 All children are a blessing. Even those with CF. Don't look at the next child as a "negative" then you won't fear. Backroads 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 From the front page of lds.org Faith in an uncertain pregnancy Four months into her second pregnancy, Delva was told that her baby had a rare chromosome disorder called trisomy 13. There was little chance for the baby’s survival, and because Delva’s life could also be at risk, doctors repeatedly advised her to abort the pregnancy. Faced with an uncertain outcome, Delva chose to trust Heavenly Father no matter what happened. https://www.lds.org/liahona/2018/06/delva-netane-california-usa?lang=eng&_r=1&cid=HP_MO-11-6-2018_dPTH_fLHNA_xLIDyL2-1_ Backroads 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Posted July 4, 2018 Report Share Posted July 4, 2018 I know a woman from my previous ward who had 6 kids and all 6 had Cystic Fibrosis I was good friends with her son but sadly he passed when we were 23. I think the chance of your hold having cystic fibrosis if you're both carriers is 25% so she was unlucky not to have a child without it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.