Past sexual sins and new marriage

[mdfxdb]

21 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

 

And all that has nothing to do with Luke 12: 2-3 either.  In Luke Christ is teaching that there is no covering up what you did or said, it will all be exposed and he didn't put any kind of limit on it only being things not repented of.  He was warning his disciples  to not become hypocrites like that Pharisees, all their doings will come to light so don't do that.  I know that is a teaching that makes pretty much everybody pretty uncomfortable, but that is what Christ said and trying to make it mean something else is not going to change the truth of it.  Everything you do, everything I do, everything anybody has ever done, good and bad, repentance and rebellion, is all going to be exposed to humanity and we will see in perfect detail all of God's justice and mercy.

 

For a sinner, the point in going to their Bishop to repent of a  serious transgression is to become clean from the stain of sin and to find healing for their soul.  At the end when everything is revealed it can go one of two ways, a person has their sin revealed along with a lifetime of hiding it and not being repentant of it, or a person has their sin revealed as well as the pain of their regret and all they did to repent of it and change and become clean again.  It will be a tragic story of person's fall and self destruction, or a glorious tale of a person's redemption.

 

So a person can confess, find forgiveness, yet still have their sin revealed?  This is pursuant to your interpretation of Luke 12:2-3?  I am unfamiliar with that teaching. 

I am not taking D&C 58: 42 too literally.  The scripture says nothing about forgetting, or God's forgetfulness.  It says "I, the Lord, remember them no more."  I take this to mean the Lord actively takes the stance that once forgiven, he will not bring it up, or hold it against you, or remind you or anyone else about it.  

[Latter-Day Marriage]

On 6/19/2018 at 4:30 PM, omegaseamaster75 said:

I think you are misinterpreting the scripture that you hold to so dearly, or you don't understand the atonement.  

I sin, I repent, I am clean, it is remembered no more otherwise what's the point?

How is this a bomb that could go off any day? unless she tells him, which she shouldn't.

Elder Oaks said in  his Oct 2004 General Conf talk 'Be Not Deceived' he said :

But God always knows. And He has repeatedly warned that the time will come when our iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and our secret acts shall be revealed”

Not 'their iniquities', ours.  Or in this case the OP, her secret acts shall be revealed then if not sooner. 

Elder Faust said in the Oct 2000 General Conf talk 'The Enemy Within':
The truth about who we are and what we do will ultimately become known. The Lord has given us this sober reminder: “For their iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed."

I think those two understand the scriptures and atonement well enough.

The point is we will see that every judgment passed over ever person is both just and merciful because you will know the whole story of their life.  What they did, why they did it, what pressures they faced, how they felt, what handicaps they had, how deep their regret was, how sincere their repentance was.  Think of the movie 'A Christmas Carol', would it be so great if it only showed what happened from Christmas morning onward?  No, that great glorious tale of redemption had to start with exposing his wrongdoing.  Those who are repentant will have their own tale of redemption told, and those who were not repentant will have their tragedy told.  A lot of times people who have found forgiveness of some great misdeed are not ashamed to tell those close to them the story of how they fell and were redeemed.

You can't become like God without becoming omniscient as God is, and that would include knowing all the things others have done.

If I do sin X and repent of it and you come to know I did X and come to know that I repented of it, it changes nothing about my being clean before God as a result of their repentance. 

Also, the OP is not the only person in the universe who knows what she did.  The guy knows, what if they run into him or somebody he told?  One spiteful remark and that's it.  She may have said something to a friend, family member, or written something about it in a journal.  She might talk in her sleep.  There is no way to be 100% sure he won't find out in mortality, but even then the day will come when her secret deeds are exposed and if she puts it off till the very end it will be too late to heal the damage she has done.

All she has to do is go to him now and say something like:
"Remember when I told you about the big mistake I made before I met you?  I (may have?)  lead you to think I told you everything but I didn't and my conscience really bothers me about it.  I saw how hurt you were by what I did share and I couldn't bear to hurt you more by giving you the whole story  so I kept some things back.  I shouldn't have done that and I need to come fully clean with you.  What I didn't tell you was _______   Please forgive me, I didn't want to deceive you or trick you, I just wanted to spare myself from seeing you hurt more but this marriage is more important to me than anything and it won't thrive when there are secrets.  I'll answer any questions you ask, do whatever you need me to do to feel emotionally secure in our marriage and to reconcile with each other.  I want you to love me for who I really am, warts and all.  Please forgive me."

She can have peace of mind from that, and I expect a better marriage in the long run too.  The difference between her sleeping with one guy or two guys isn't that big a difference, but the misleading him about it is and that is what I expect he will have the hardest time with.

[Overwatch]

7 minutes ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

The difference between her sleeping with one guy or two guys isn't that big a difference,

You had me nodding my head in approval until I read this. Sexual sin is one of the worst and most tragic. Every person you sleep with before you are married is a big deal. You are sharing one of the most sacred gifts you have to give with someone who may not be your eternal companion.

I wish I could I tell you ... Sexual purity is SoSo SO important.

[Latter-Day Marriage]

34 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

You had me nodding my head in approval until I read this. Sexual sin is one of the worst and most tragic. Every person you sleep with before you are married is a big deal. You are sharing one of the most sacred gifts you have to give with someone who may not be your eternal companion.

I wish I could I tell you ... Sexual purity is SoSo SO important.

I don't dispute that at all,  Two is worse than just one.  I'm saying the difference between none and one is likely a bigger difference to him than the difference between one and two past lovers.  That doesn't mean either of them are minor events.

[mdfxdb]

14 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

Elder Oaks said in  his Oct 2004 General Conf talk 'Be Not Deceived' he said :

But God always knows. And He has repeatedly warned that the time will come when our iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and our secret acts shall be revealed”

Not 'their iniquities', ours.  Or in this case the OP, her secret acts shall be revealed then if not sooner. 

Elder Faust said in the Oct 2000 General Conf talk 'The Enemy Within':
The truth about who we are and what we do will ultimately become known. The Lord has given us this sober reminder: “For their iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed."

The scripture in D&C 1:3 is quoted by and explained by James Faust.   He explains: "Because we live in a morally desensitized environment, we find it hard to say to ourselves and to others that our actions are not right." 

Dallin Oaks quotes D&C 1: 3 which states: "And the rebellious shall be pierced with much sorrow; for their iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed."  The scripture references in that passage of his talk are also Mormon 5:8, and D&C 38:7 in addition to the above.

Both speakers are directing their comments to the UNREPENTANT.  Those who do not repent of their sins will be subject to the humiliation of having those acts shouted from the roof tops.  

14 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

I think those two understand the scriptures and atonement well enough.

I think we found something we agree upon here.  Both of the Apostles understand the scriptures and atonement better than you.  Neither of them reference Luke 12.  

The reality is that once we have repented of our sins they are not remembered.  D&C 58: 42.  Speaks directly to the REPENTANT.  I will quote myself from a prior post "I am not taking D&C 58: 42 too literally.  The scripture says nothing about forgetting, or God's forgetfulness.  It says "I, the Lord, remember them no more."  I take this to mean the Lord actively takes the stance that once forgiven, he will not bring it up, or hold it against you, or remind you or anyone else about it."

It is unfair to compare someone who has repented of their sins to someone who hasn't. 

The repentance obligation to clear things up with priesthood authority has presumably been met by the OP.  Further disclosure, or discussion of those items is completely up to her and at her sole discretion.  There is no outside obligation to 3rd parties (including her boyfriend/fiance/husband) for those forgiven sins prior to her relationship with those parties.  

[Latter-Day Marriage]

8 hours ago, mdfxdb said:

The scripture in D&C 1:3 is quoted by and explained by James Faust.   He explains: "Because we live in a morally desensitized environment, we find it hard to say to ourselves and to others that our actions are not right." 

Dallin Oaks quotes D&C 1: 3 which states: "And the rebellious shall be pierced with much sorrow; for their iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed."  The scripture references in that passage of his talk are also Mormon 5:8, and D&C 38:7 in addition to the above.

Both speakers are directing their comments to the UNREPENTANT. 

Elder Oaks did not say 'their iniquities' and 'their secret acts'.  He said 'our iniquities' and 'our secret acts' which includes himself.

Elder Faust said  the truth of who WE are and what WE do will ultimately become known.  So he is also including himself in that.

I don't consider either of them to unrepentant, so I don't see them as limiting anything to just unprecedented sins.  How can somebody become as all knowing as God is without knowing everything?  And if they know everything, they will know what your sins were just as God knows what they were.

I guess we'll all find out for sure on Judgement Day,  I'm sure we can agree on that too.

The OP has repented of breaking the Law of Chasity yes, but her misleading her husband, by omission or by active lying, is not something she has repented of and she needs to address that.  Repenting of that requires her to confess to him, ask his forgiveness, and make amends so they can reconcile.  If she doesn't, if she takes the bad advise to hide it the rest of her life, it will be shouted from the housetops and he will know then when it is too late for her to do anything about it.

 

 

Edited June 22, 2018 by Latter-Day Marriage

[omegaseamaster75]

12 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

The OP has repented of breaking the Law of Chasity yes, but her misleading her husband, by omission or by active lying, is not something she has repented of and she needs to address that.  Repenting of that requires her to confess to him, ask his forgiveness, and make amends so they can reconcile.  If she doesn't, if she takes the bad advise to hide it the rest of her life, it will be shouted from the housetops and he will know then when it is too late for her to do anything about it.

I am in mdfxbd's camp. I think you are misinterpreting what the brethren are saying, but no point in arguing that.

I don't think that it is bad ADVICE to not tell her husband because she didn't do anything wrong. If anything it is a lie of omission, and I think that if he asks she shouldn't lie to him, but certainly should not volunteer it.  Volunteering the information out of the blue? Nothing good will come of it. 

If at judgement day I am being judged on a lie of omission and that is my gravest sin.......I'll take it. Celestial Kingdom here I come!!!!

 

[omegaseamaster75]

12 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

I don't consider either of them to unrepentant, so I don't see them as limiting anything to just unprecedented sins.  How can somebody become as all knowing as God is without knowing everything?  And if they know everything, they will know what your sins were just as God knows what they were. 

I wasn't going to address it, but they are speaking about the unrepentant.  I agree in a broad sort of way that Elder Oaks and Elder Faust are probably not unrepentant in a general sense, but I don't think anyone ever accused them of walking on water of raising the dead either.  What I am saying is that we all have our little peccadilloes, yes even members of the 12.  

Do you remember every sin you ever committed? not likely...

 

 

 

 

  

[Latter-Day Marriage]

10 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

I don't think that it is bad ADVICE to not tell her husband because she didn't do anything wrong.If anything it is a lie of omission, and I think that if he asks she shouldn't lie to him, but certainly should not volunteer it.  Volunteering the information out of the blue? Nothing good will come of it. 

If at judgement day I am being judged on a lie of omission and that is my gravest sin.......I'll take it. Celestial Kingdom here I come!!!!

 

And do you really think that her husband will look at it like that?  Do you think he will not feel like he was wronged one bit by her keeping that secret?  If he is going to think she didn't wrong him by keeping it a secret then what has she to fear from telling him?  If he is going to feel he was wronged by her keeping it a secret (and I can guarantee you he will feel that way) why would he want to spend eternity with somebody that lied to him his whole life?  Even if she gets there in spite of doing that, she may very will wind up there but not as his wife.  Clear the air now, work through it while there is time to heal and reconcile or pay a higher price later on.

[BJ64]

My wife and I discussed this topic and decided that past sins that are repented of are in the past and do not need to be discussed with your spouse. 

There are sins I have repented of since marriage (not adultery or anything like it) that I would not tell my wife about.