Ray25

Past sexual sins and new marriage

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My story- 
I grew up in the church and never thought myself to do anything sexual before marriage.
About three years Before getting married, something happened to me sexually from someone I thought I could trust. Anywho after this had happened I felt ashamed and felt it was my fault. My counslours Warned me that after bad sexual experiences, in my case ( forced) that I could potentially be sexually active in hope to change my “mental experience”. 
 
I started to feel comfortable again with men and myself, and soon I had a boyfriend. I found myself stuck in a very bad situation. He was a non member and didn’t understand why sex before marriage was a big deal. After months together, we were involved in a sexual relationship. Again I felt awful! And knew I had done something terrible, and couldn’t take it back. I went through the repentance process and eventually forgave myself for the sins I had committed. 
 
Now this story my husband does know about. 
 
My second story happened shortly after I broke up with the boyfriend in the first story. I had a new boyfriend and promised myself I wouldn’t ever make a sexual mistake again. I did. And I felt awful that it happened again. I went through the repentance process and eventually forgave myself for the second time. When my husband and I were dating, I told him everything I had done, except for this second boyfriend. He wasn’t very pleased, but he was grateful I had told him. This did haunt him for awhile, and we had a lot of problems come up because he kept asking me about it. To this day he still doesn’t know about this second boyfriend I made a sexual sin with. I repented and told my bishop everything in the process, but I still feel awful that my husband doesn’t know this. Is it wrong that I didn’t tell him? I guess you can say, I haven’t fully forgiven myself. It’s one thing to make 1 mistake, but 2 of the same mistake? That’s just pathetic. 
 
I hope you have some advice for me. Thank you for reading.
 
 
 
Ray

 

Edited by Ray25

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Hi Ray, welcome to the board.

Yes, it is wrong that you didn't tell him.  He deserved to make his covenants fully informed.  How would you feel if he hid something from you like that?  You may feel like he tricked you into marriage by withholding information you should have had before making that commitment. I think you already know that down inside, right?

You need to come clean on all past relationships.  Don't leave him with any unanswered questions, don't sentence him to a lifetime of wondering what revelation will come next.  A secret like that will eat away at you, and he will sense at some level that there is something you are not telling him.  It will poison your relationship slowly and you can never truly become one with somebody you are deliberately keeping in the dark.  How can you every feel he truly loves you for who you are if part of who you are stays hidden from him?

Yes, he will be upset.  Perhaps more upset over you not telling him before the marriage than over the act itself.  But along with confessing your wrongs to him, share with him the story of your repentance, including why you kept it from him, how you came to realize you had to come clean etc.  That is all part of your story too, not just the things you did wrong.  When he has the whole story he should be able to see that the person you are now is not the person you were then.  It may be easier to write the whole thing out for him to read in private and digest before discussing, but however you do it, it must be done.

The atonement is not just for washing away the stain of sin, it is for healing the emotional pain of sins.  There are marriage that have transformed from situations of adultery into strong loving marriages because the power of the atonement is that miraculous, as long as people repent fully and forgive fully. 

You might want to check a 4 part series of posts on my blog about all this.  Part 1 is at:
http://latterday-marriage.blogspot.com/2017/09/healing-wounds-part-1-where-to-start.html

I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I feel for your husband too.  Things are going to likely get worse before they get better, but have faith that it can in the end become better than you can imagine.


 

Edited by Latter-Day Marriage

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Whatever you do don't tell him. 

You went through the proper channels, repented, and found forgiveness.  Now you need to forget about it.  That isn't your life anymore, and there is no benefit in telling your husband about it.  If he wasn't happy that you told him about the first one, believe me, he wont be happy about the second one.

He will be mad that you did it, and mad that you didn't come clean to him about it, and upset because he will suspect there is more  you aren't divulging.  Do you really want to relive something for which you have been forgiven of?  You do not need your husbands forgiveness on this one.  It's over.  

Time to put on the big girl panties and move forward.  

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3 hours ago, mdfxdb said:

Whatever you do don't tell him. 

You went through the proper channels, repented, and found forgiveness.  Now you need to forget about it.  That isn't your life anymore, and there is no benefit in telling your husband about it.  If he wasn't happy that you told him about the first one, believe me, he wont be happy about the second one.

He will be mad that you did it, and mad that you didn't come clean to him about it, and upset because he will suspect there is more  you aren't divulging.  Do you really want to relive something for which you have been forgiven of?  You do not need your husbands forgiveness on this one.  It's over.  

Time to put on the big girl panties and move forward.  

And how is he going to feel on judgement day when he finds everything out plus the fact that she hid it from him his whole life?  Everything done in the shadows will be shouted from the housetops. 

Her conscience is bothering her about this for a reason and she should listen to that.  You can't become one with somebody you are keeping secrets from.  It was wrong of her to keep this from him and she has not repented of that.  Repenting of that includes telling him.  Yes it will upset him, but if they work through it well they will have a much better relationship than what is possible if she doens't tell him.

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On 6/12/2018 at 6:43 PM, Ray25 said:

 

 
My story- 
I grew up in the church and never thought myself to do anything sexual before marriage.
About three years Before getting married, something happened to me sexually from someone I thought I could trust. Anywho after this had happened I felt ashamed and felt it was my fault. My counslours Warned me that after bad sexual experiences, in my case ( forced) that I could potentially be sexually active in hope to change my “mental experience”. 
 
I started to feel comfortable again with men and myself, and soon I had a boyfriend. I found myself stuck in a very bad situation. He was a non member and didn’t understand why sex before marriage was a big deal. After months together, we were involved in a sexual relationship. Again I felt awful! And knew I had done something terrible, and couldn’t take it back. I went through the repentance process and eventually forgave myself for the sins I had committed. 
 
Now this story my husband does know about. 
 
My second story happened shortly after I broke up with the boyfriend in the first story. I had a new boyfriend and promised myself I wouldn’t ever make a sexual mistake again. I did. And I felt awful that it happened again. I went through the repentance process and eventually forgave myself for the second time. When my husband and I were dating, I told him everything I had done, except for this second boyfriend. He wasn’t very pleased, but he was grateful I had told him. This did haunt him for awhile, and we had a lot of problems come up because he kept asking me about it. To this day he still doesn’t know about this second boyfriend I made a sexual sin with. I repented and told my bishop everything in the process, but I still feel awful that my husband doesn’t know this. Is it wrong that I didn’t tell him? I guess you can say, I haven’t fully forgiven myself. It’s one thing to make 1 mistake, but 2 of the same mistake? That’s just pathetic. 
 
I hope you have some advice for me. Thank you for reading.
 
 
 
Ray

 

The right thing to do is certainly not always the easy thing to do and sometimes it outright sucks to do the right thing.

My wife told me she was a virgin when we got married.  Found out later when her blood work for her pregnancy showed markers for VD...  Then she fessed up.  It sucked.  It hurt.  But I still loved her and still do.  It isn't something we talk about.  That was a long time ago.

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16 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

And how is he going to feel on judgement day when he finds everything out plus the fact that she hid it from him his whole life?  Everything done in the shadows will be shouted from the housetops. 

Her conscience is bothering her about this for a reason and she should listen to that.  You can't become one with somebody you are keeping secrets from.  It was wrong of her to keep this from him and she has not repented of that.  Repenting of that includes telling him.  Yes it will upset him, but if they work through it well they will have a much better relationship than what is possible if she doens't tell him.

On judgement day presumably he will be in the presence of our Savior, and will feel nothing but compassion and the pure love of Christ towards his wife.  No shadows there, she visited her bishop, and fully repented, so nothing to shout about.  She is and was under no obligation to disclose either incident to her boyfriend/fiance.

If her conscience is bothering her, then she should visit with her bishop, or seek professional counseling.  In what way was it wrong of her to keep her prior previously confessed and forgiven transgressions from her boyfriend?  Repentance does not include telling him about that stuff.  

Yes it will upset him.  What benefit to the relationship is there in that?  How will it bring them closer?  Her need to "clear" her conscience might be considered a selfish act which will leave nothing but pain and hurt in it's wake.  The OP needs to figure this out for herself and forgive herself, but not involve her husband.  Again, this might involve professional counseling.  

 

 

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18 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

And how is he going to feel on judgement day when he finds everything out plus the fact that she hid it from him his whole life?  Everything done in the shadows will be shouted from the housetops. 

Her conscience is bothering her about this for a reason and she should listen to that.  You can't become one with somebody you are keeping secrets from.  It was wrong of her to keep this from him and she has not repented of that.  Repenting of that includes telling him.  Yes it will upset him, but if they work through it well they will have a much better relationship than what is possible if she doens't tell him.

If she has truly repented God does not keep any records of the past sins.

My advice to Ray 25 is don't compound your felony.  Keep this a secret the rest of your life.  You are forgiven in God's eyes and that's all that matters.

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4 hours ago, mdfxdb said:

On judgement day presumably he will be in the presence of our Savior, and will feel nothing but compassion and the pure love of Christ towards his wife.  No shadows there, she visited her bishop, and fully repented, so nothing to shout about.  She is and was under no obligation to disclose either incident to her boyfriend/fiance.

If her conscience is bothering her, then she should visit with her bishop, or seek professional counseling.  In what way was it wrong of her to keep her prior previously confessed and forgiven transgressions from her boyfriend?  Repentance does not include telling him about that stuff.  

Yes it will upset him.  What benefit to the relationship is there in that?  How will it bring them closer?  Her need to "clear" her conscience might be considered a selfish act which will leave nothing but pain and hurt in it's wake.  The OP needs to figure this out for herself and forgive herself, but not involve her husband.  Again, this might involve professional counseling.  

 

 

The truth will out, and we won't magically be impervious to having our feelings hurt after we die. That compassion doesn't mean there won't be consequences.  He is not obligated to be her husband for eternity if he feels she dealt poorly with him during life.  She was obligated to tell him before they got married.  Full disclosure so an INFORMED consent can be given.  She robbed him of that, she in effect tricked him into marrying her. In some places an undisclosed past relationship is grounds for annulment.  It was wrong and so far she has NOT repented of that.  To repent she needs to come clean to him and work it out as a couple, with professional counseling if needed. 

The benefit will be that she won't not burdened with guilt, their relationship won't suffer the slow poison of secrets, he gets to find out by her coming forward voluntarily which makes it easier to achieve reconciliation instead of catching her in a lie and, realizing she has been lying and deceiving him for years (and last I checked lying was a sin).  He won't have to wonder if she is only sorry she got caught.  Once it is resolved she can have the joy of knowing that her husband knows everything about her past and still loves her, no nagging question of if he would love her if he knew.  He would have the security of knowing there are no more surprises, knowing that she has changed and isn't that person any longer.  They would have a chance to truly become one as God wants and that can't happen when one person is hiding something from the other.

And if he by some chance decides to leave her over this (which would be an over reaction IMHO) then they both have the blessing of getting to start over knowing how to do better than last time.  They get a chance to do it right and make it last for eternity.  Either way there is pain, but if she keeps up the lie and puts off the pain to the end then it will be too late to do anything to remedy it.

I'm speaking from experience here.  My wife did something while I was on my mission that she hid from me.  It wasn't a sin, but it was a betrayal of our relationship that hurt me deeply.  She hid it and I found out on my own and it would have been so much better if she came to me and told me herself.  It took a long, long time, before it was worked out and I actually could believe again that she really loved me. 

It would have been so much better if she had told him before they married but the past can't be changed.  The best she can do is tell him now.  The longer she hides it, the longer she is lying to him, deceiving him, and the harder it will be for them to reconcile.

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3 minutes ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

It would have been so much better if she had told him before they married but the past can't be changed.  The best she can do is tell him now.  The longer she hides it, the longer she is lying to him, deceiving him, and the harder it will be for them to reconcile.

Yea, you said it bro.  The past can't be changed.  However, the worst she can do is tell him now.  She repented, her repentance is between her and God.  She was under no obligation to disclose anything about forgiven sins.  If he asked, and she lied, then that is a different scenario.  If she felt at the time no need to disclose the 2nd incident, then she needs to stick by that decision and not hurt him or their relationship.  

If she is having trouble forgiving herself, she should see the bishop, or seek professional counseling.  

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4 hours ago, mrmarklin said:

If she has truly repented God does not keep any records of the past sins.

My advice to Ray 25 is don't compound your felony.  Keep this a secret the rest of your life.  You are forgiven in God's eyes and that's all that matters.

Luke 12:2-3
For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.

Christ said that.  Sooner or later, he is going to find out, the only question is how and when.  Sooner is better than later.  A voluntary confession is better than finding out some other way. 

Keeping it secret longer is compounding her error.  Her relationship with her husband matters too and the longer she hides the truth from him the more damage is done when it finally comes to light.

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18 minutes ago, mdfxdb said:

Yea, you said it bro.  The past can't be changed.  However, the worst she can do is tell him now.  She repented, her repentance is between her and God.  She was under no obligation to disclose anything about forgiven sins.  If he asked, and she lied, then that is a different scenario.  If she felt at the time no need to disclose the 2nd incident, then she needs to stick by that decision and not hurt him or their relationship.  

If she is having trouble forgiving herself, she should see the bishop, or seek professional counseling.  

No, she absolutely was obligated to tell him everything about herself that would be relevant to him deciding if he wanted to marry her or not and this counts as part of that.  She is lying by letting him think there is nothing more when really there is.  She is deceiving him.  She is sinning right now and every day she keeps it from him.

She said that while he was hurt with what he did find out, he was still glad she told him, so he seems to be mature enough to work this out. 

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16 hours ago, mdfxdb said:

If she is having trouble forgiving herself, she should see the bishop, or seek professional counseling.  

I wouldn't see the Bishop about a past sin confessed and forgiven he might want her to do something silly like tell her husband about it.

16 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

Luke 12:2-3
For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.

Christ said that.  Sooner or later, he is going to find out, the only question is how and when.  Sooner is better than later.  A voluntary confession is better than finding out some other way. 

Keeping it secret longer is compounding her error.  Her relationship with her husband matters too and the longer she hides the truth from him the more damage is done when it finally comes to light.

If she lied it was a lie of omission, she is not hiding anything before God she has confessed and has been forgiven. What exactly will be revealed? answer NOTHING.

16 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

She said that while he was hurt with what he did find out, he was still glad she told him, so he seems to be mature enough to work this out. 

I disagree see not mature enough to handle it at all  see below

On 6/12/2018 at 3:43 PM, Ray25 said:

 I told him everything I had done, except for this second boyfriend. He wasn’t very pleased, but he was grateful I had told him. This did haunt him for awhile, and we had a lot of problems come up because he kept asking me about it. 

She needs to let this go and take it to the grave.

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19 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

Luke 12:2-3
For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.

Christ said that.  Sooner or later, he is going to find out, the only question is how and when.  Sooner is better than later.  A voluntary confession is better than finding out some other way. 

Keeping it secret longer is compounding her error.  Her relationship with her husband matters too and the longer she hides the truth from him the more damage is done when it finally comes to light.

None of the sins we have repented of will be revealed.  So you are quoting this scripture out of context.  God has stated that when we repent he "remembers our sins no more".

There really is no reason to "confess" anything at all.  In fact, OP had no reason to  say anything at all about any sexual activity that was repented of.

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I am reading all of these comments and I am quite surprised. If your future spouse (fiancee) asks if you have ever had sex and you have, Say YES! If he/she asks how many, tell how many... DON'T LIE ABOUT IT. Trying to be sneaky... this actually kind of makes me sick to hear some of you say it's none of her husband's business.

:C

Edited by Overwatch

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10 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

I am reading all of these comments and I am quite surprised. If your future spouse (fiancee) asks if you have ever had sex and you have, Say YES! If he/she asks how many, tell how many... DON'T LIE ABOUT IT. Trying to be sneaky... this actually kind of makes me sick to hear some of you say it's none of her husband's business.

:C

the OP does not state that he asked, she states that she volunteered information about 1. 

I personally don't see the need to volunteer more information.

If he asks I would recommend that she be honest she shouldn't lie to him about it IF he asks, but to blind side her husband who didn't deal well with the first revelation is only destructive and self serving. 

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On 6/14/2018 at 7:25 AM, Lost Boy said:

The right thing to do is certainly not always the easy thing to do and sometimes it outright sucks to do the right thing.

My wife told me she was a virgin when we got married.  Found out later when her blood work for her pregnancy showed markers for VD...  Then she fessed up.  It sucked.  It hurt.  But I still loved her and still do.  It isn't something we talk about.  That was a long time ago.

Problems, your wife started out with a lie a big one.  This is vastly different from the OP who volunteered her lack of virginity.  I am glad things have worked out for you.

Personally I don't see what people are getting so wound up about. So the OP made some mistakes once she repented it's over, forgotten. If her future husband asked about past sexual relationships she should be honest. In this case it sounds like she volunteered information.  There was no lie unless you consider her not volunteering all information about past sins a lie. She had sexual relations with 2 people SO WHAT? what if it was 10? or 20? repentance is repentance.

Medically I can understand why he would ask or why she would volunteer information. Otherwise if they are worthy to be married in the temple it shouldn't matter.

 

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Guest MormonGator
8 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

the OP does not state that he asked, she states that she volunteered information about 1. 

I personally don't see the need to volunteer more information.

If he asks I would recommend that she be honest she shouldn't lie to him about it IF he asks, but to blind side her husband who didn't deal well with the first revelation is only destructive and self serving. 

It'll come out. Secrets always do eventually. And when it does, it'll be a big shock. 

Edited by MormonGator

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22 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

If she lied it was a lie of omission, she is not hiding anything before God she has confessed and has been forgiven. What exactly will be revealed? answer NOTHING.

I disagree see not mature enough to handle it at all  see below

She needs to let this go and take it to the grave.

A lie of omission is still a lie.  Plus repenting includes confessing to those you have hurt by your sins, and that would mean her husband.  The whole motive for keeping it a secret is to avoid the natural consequences of her actions and that alone proves it is the wrong thing to do. She needs to repent of her misleading him.

Also, Christ put no qualifier on what he said in those verses.  It is a popular myth that the things we repent of will stay hidden but that isn't doctrine.  Everything will be revealed, you can't become like God without becoming as all knowing as God is.  But that also means that in addition to a person's sins, their regret and repentance will also be known.

His reaction to the first revelation was perfectly normal, feeling hurt, having questions, nothing immature about that.  He sought answers so their relationship could move forward.  Immature would be holding a grudge, hating her, leaving her over it.  I expect having dealt with this once the sex part won't be as big a deal for him again.  The hiding it from him would likely the the hardest thing for him to forgive and the longer she hides it the harder it will be for him.

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20 hours ago, mrmarklin said:

None of the sins we have repented of will be revealed.  So you are quoting this scripture out of context.  God has stated that when we repent he "remembers our sins no more".

There really is no reason to "confess" anything at all.  In fact, OP had no reason to  say anything at all about any sexual activity that was repented of.

It doesn't say "For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed except for _________"  I've taken nothing out of context but you are free to post whatever verses you feel support your claim.  God knows everything, when we repent of something he doesn't go and dig up the memory of our sin and hold it against us (ie: bring it into his remembrance), but he still knows. 

Clearly you and I are not going to agree on this and the OP is going to have to make a choice.  I'm speaking from the POV of a husband who had to deal with a similar kind of hurt.  Marriage counselors also tell couples they need to inform their future spouse of all past relationships before marriage, and failure to do so is in some places grounds to annul a marriage. 

I know probably as well as a man can know what he is going to feel if she tells him and yet I'm the one saying she should do it.  Short term pain, long term blessing that make it more than worth it.

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Also, is is HIGHLY unlikely that after her first revelation that one of his questions wasn't if there was anything more than that unless she said that before he could ask.  Any guy hearing news like that would want confirmation that that was all there was.  Even without that however she is misleading him by keeping the full story from him.

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Should you confess your life history before marriage? I have mixed feelings I had to divorce a woman who I learned lost custody of her children for trying to drown them and she heard voices and scared me. Her bishop knew but could not even hint she was psychotic and was like two different people. I had children in danger

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On 6/16/2018 at 7:11 AM, Latter-Day Marriage said:

It doesn't say "For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed except for _________"  I've taken nothing out of context but you are free to post whatever verses you feel support your claim.  God knows everything, when we repent of something he doesn't go and dig up the memory of our sin and hold it against us (ie: bring it into his remembrance), but he still knows. 

D&C 58:42

Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.

Luke 12: 2-3

For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known.

Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.

There is a problem here.  Based on your interpretation, somehow the husband is going to find out about his wife's transgressions.  However, if she has repented, then the Lord will remember them no more.  If the Lord remembers no more, then Luke doesn't apply.  Add to that Luke is referring to hypocrisies in teaching directly to his Disciples.  For me, what would be the point of confessing to my Bishop, receiving forgiveness from the Lord if "all will be revealed" at some future date?    

Unless OP lied to her future husband about guy #2, then she has no reason to disclose, or feel guilty.  You are correct, we are not going to agree on this.  I do agree with Omega somewhat in that OP will need to be careful if she discusses with her bishop this issue because he might tell her to tell her husband, and that would constitute bad advice.  However, I will qualify that her bishop may be better informed than any of us on this presuming of course she tells him the full truth.  In that event the advice to disclose to her husband may be correct advice.  maybe.

Edited by mdfxdb

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7 hours ago, mdfxdb said:

D&C 58:42

Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.

Luke 12: 2-3

For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known.

Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.

There is a problem here.  Based on your interpretation, somehow the husband is going to find out about his wife's transgressions.  However, if she has repented, then the Lord will remember them no more.  If the Lord remembers no more, then Luke doesn't apply.  Add to that Luke is referring to hypocrisies in teaching directly to his Disciples.  For me, what would be the point of confessing to my Bishop, receiving forgiveness from the Lord if "all will be revealed" at some future date?    

Unless OP lied to her future husband about guy #2, then she has no reason to disclose, or feel guilty.  You are correct, we are not going to agree on this.  I do agree with Omega somewhat in that OP will need to be careful if she discusses with her bishop this issue because he might tell her to tell her husband, and that would constitute bad advice.  However, I will qualify that her bishop may be better informed than any of us on this presuming of course she tells him the full truth.  In that event the advice to disclose to her husband may be correct advice.  maybe.

You are taking 'remember them no more' far too literally.  God is omniscient, he knows all things.  If he truly did forget something or even was able to forget something, then he would not be omniscient.  He is perfectly capable of recalling the past sins of those who have repented, he just chooses not to bring them into remembrance and they have no bearing on how he deals with us.

And all that has nothing to do with Luke 12: 2-3 either.  In Luke Christ is teaching that there is no covering up what you did or said, it will all be exposed and he didn't put any kind of limit on it only being things not repented of.  He was warning his disciples  to not become hypocrites like that Pharisees, all their doings will come to light so don't do that.  I know that is a teaching that makes pretty much everybody pretty uncomfortable, but that is what Christ said and trying to make it mean something else is not going to change the truth of it.  Everything you do, everything I do, everything anybody has ever done, good and bad, repentance and rebellion, is all going to be exposed to humanity and we will see in perfect detail all of God's justice and mercy.

Her husband won't need Christ to tell him what she did either.  Assuming he makes it to the CK, he too will at some point become omniscient and know then although I expect he'll find out a lot sooner.

For a sinner, the point in going to their Bishop to repent of a  serious transgression is to become clean from the stain of sin and to find healing for their soul.  At the end when everything is revealed it can go one of two ways, a person has their sin revealed along with a lifetime of hiding it and not being repentant of it, or a person has their sin revealed as well as the pain of their regret and all they did to repent of it and change and become clean again.  It will be a tragic story of person's fall and self destruction, or a glorious tale of a person's redemption.

Now in this specific case, she has no need to go see the Bishop about it.  Her sin is lying, deceiving, tricking, misleading etc her husband and whether it is by commission or omission doesn't make any difference.  That is something she can repent of without going to the Bishop but there is no way she can repent of that without going to her husband and confessing it to him.  She can't hide this and be cleansed of it and she will not have peace and emotional security in her marriage knowing that she is hiding a bomb that could go off any day.

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17 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

For a sinner, the point in going to their Bishop to repent of a  serious transgression is to become clean from the stain of sin and to find healing for their soul.  At the end when everything is revealed it can go one of two ways, a person has their sin revealed along with a lifetime of hiding it and not being repentant of it, or a person has their sin revealed as well as the pain of their regret and all they did to repent of it and change and become clean again.  It will be a tragic story of person's fall and self destruction, or a glorious tale of a person's redemption.

I think you are misinterpreting the scripture that you hold to so dearly, or you don't understand the atonement.  

I sin, I repent, I am clean, it is remembered no more otherwise what's the point?

17 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

Now in this specific case, she has no need to go see the Bishop about it.  Her sin is lying, deceiving, tricking, misleading etc her husband and whether it is by commission or omission doesn't make any difference.  That is something she can repent of without going to the Bishop but there is no way she can repent of that without going to her husband and confessing it to him.  She can't hide this and be cleansed of it and she will not have peace and emotional security in her marriage knowing that she is hiding a bomb that could go off any day.

How is this a bomb that could go off any day? unless she tells him, which she shouldn't.

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