The Man Shack


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6 hours ago, anatess2 said:

 

Anyway, a woman who will not drop everything to be with her husband is not good wife material - unless being with her husband causes her to be apart from their children.  But that's just me.

To be fair my wife and I lived separately so we could both attend grad school. She wasn't a bad wife for not following me and I wasn't a bad husband for not following her. 

 

29 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

Dang, I feel like I want to say something to you to defend JayKi but you actually might be right  :C

I will defend him. 

 

2 hours ago, anatess2 said:

Like I said, if she thinks being without you is not scary and living with you is scary then she's not good wife material.  You can try to defend her position and make excuses for her but the facts remain the same.  She doesn't trust you to provide a safe haven. 

  

Change is scary for anyone, she has been without him for a while it seems so she is used to that. Why would she be scared to still live apart from him? It makes more sense that she is scared to emigrate than to stay in Costa Rica. 

 

4 hours ago, JayKi said:

If I in Costa Rica with her then she would live with me

It isn't living with JayKi she is afraid of, it is living in a different country. It shows that she loves JayKi if she is willing to marry him 

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8 hours ago, Lee said:

It isn't living with JayKi she is afraid of, it is living in a different country. It shows that she loves JayKi if she is willing to marry him 

She does love me is easier for her if she marry someone else and we already be apart 2 year so I think it will be okay if we marry then are apart for 2 more year. 

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Sorry to invade the Man Shack... but, I identify as apache helicopter so...  ;)

13 hours ago, Lee said:

 

To be fair my wife and I lived separately so we could both attend grad school. She wasn't a bad wife for not following me and I wasn't a bad husband for not following her. 

After a year of being married, my job got transferred 120 miles away.   I went to work on Monday and came home Friday.  Cried everyday.  My husband bought me a parrot so I would stop crying.  I lasted 10 months.

 

13 hours ago, Lee said:

I will defend him. 

 

Change is scary for anyone, she has been without him for a while it seems so she is used to that. Why would she be scared to still live apart from him? It makes more sense that she is scared to emigrate than to stay in Costa Rica. 

It doesn't make sense to be scared where your husband is.  So she's scared for herself but not for her husband.  Sounds like a woman that would put her comfort over keeping her new family together.  What happens after they're married and she finds some other thing she's not comfortable with?  She'll jet.  

 

13 hours ago, Lee said:

 

It isn't living with JayKi she is afraid of, it is living in a different country. It shows that she loves JayKi if she is willing to marry him 

She's willing to marry a guy who doesn't require her to sacrifice anything.

 

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18 minutes ago, JayKi said:

I think so I want to be marry with her we wait long time to be marry with each other already. 

My wife and I didn't have much figured out before we got married we didn't even have anywhere to live, we spent the first 3 weeks after our honeymoon sleeping in the basement of our friend's flat. The wedding day isn't a magical day where everything falls in to place but it is a lot easier to work things out once the wedding day is behind you 

 

Edited by Lee
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54 minutes ago, Lee said:

My wife and I didn't have much figured out before we got married we didn't even have anywhere to live, we spent the first 3 weeks after our honeymoon sleeping in the basement of our friend's flat. The wedding day isn't a magical day where everything falls in to place but it is a lot easier to work things out once the wedding day is behind you 

  

yes we have no where to live in England i think is another reason she no want to move but I know once we have wedding we will find answer to every problem we have now 

 

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8 hours ago, anatess2 said:

It doesn't make sense to be scared where your husband is.  So she's scared for herself but not for her husband.  Sounds like a woman that would put her comfort over keeping her new family together.  What happens after they're married and she finds some other thing she's not comfortable with?  She'll jet.  

 

No she was scared for me a lot when I first move we wrote email once a week and she always tell me she worry about me but now I fine in England she dont need to be scared for me. She no put her comfort first is because I can no put her comfort first. 

 

8 hours ago, anatess2 said:

She's willing to marry a guy who doesn't require her to sacrifice anything.

 

A man should no require woman to make sacrifice  

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6 hours ago, Overwatch said:

???????????

Haha

JayKi... I... wish you the best.

I can see you have it all figured out. Who knows, maybe it will be just like you imagine.

Is no funny I want to give my wife everything she want. I no want her to sacrifice for me. Why do you think is impossible?

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22 minutes ago, JayKi said:

Is no funny I want to give my wife everything she want. I no want her to sacrifice for me. Why do you think is impossible?

Because I am married and have kids. Her sacrifice will come eventually whether you OR her want it to.

I won't even go further into to detail because I have seen your pattern of behaviour. For example you argued about how hanging out with that married woman was harmless, then you came back and apologized to everyone. This topic is going the same, married couples should sacrifice for EACHOTHER JayKi.

:)

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22 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

Because I am married and have kids. Her sacrifice will come eventually whether you OR her want it to.

I won't even go further into to detail because I have seen your pattern of behaviour. For example you argued about how hanging out with that married woman was harmless, then you came back and apologized to everyone. This topic is going the same, married couples should sacrifice for EACHOTHER JayKi.

 :)

I still have goal that she no have to sacrifice for me if she happy to then is no sacrifice and I never make her do what she no want to. 

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20 minutes ago, JayKi said:

I still have goal that she no have to sacrifice for me if she happy to then is no sacrifice and I never make her do what she no want to. 

I had the same goal, I didn't want my wife to have to sacrifice anything, whether it was her happiness, her comfort or her goals. The thing is at some point one of you won't be able to do what you want. That is fine a sacrifice doesn't feel like a sacrifice when it is for someone you love :) 

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55 minutes ago, askandanswer said:

This bit at the bottom here about platinum lavender black in lamy al-star ef. Is that describing the ink or the pen or the gun? Or maybe it refers to the hats they are wearing?

Every now and then you should try turning right-side up (by hanging upside down, of course) - for better circulation.  It might help your language recognition skills. <_<

"Platinum" is a Japanese pen and ink maker.  "Lavender Black" is one of their new "classic" iron gall inks.  (Yes, it's the ink with which I doodled that cartoon.)  Lamy (or LAMY, I'm actually not sure on that) is a German pen and ink maker.  "Al-Star" (or perhaps AL-Star, not sure on that either) is the pen model (it happens to be the "Ocean Blue" color, a fact I left out since it makes no difference to someone who might want to know the pen I used1), and "EF" stands for "extra fine" which is the nib size.  (Yes, it's the pen and nib with which I drew above cartoon - hence the "in", indicating the ink was in that particular pen.)

[Insert WWII Joke Here]

1People who want to know these things want to know what pen (and nib) to buy to make the same sort of lines / strokes - generally, they're looking at line width, whether the line width is variable, shading, and/or the wetness / dryness of the nib.  (...unless you include a photo of the pen, in which case it might be that they just like the look of the pen, and the nice thing is to tell them what it is so they don't have to hunt it down / ask.  The FP community is very polite about its enabling.)

Edited by zil
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2 hours ago, Lee said:

I had the same goal, I didn't want my wife to have to sacrifice anything, whether it was her happiness, her comfort or her goals. The thing is at some point one of you won't be able to do what you want. That is fine a sacrifice doesn't feel like a sacrifice when it is for someone you love :) 

I would rather sacrifice for her than her for me. If she is happy to make sacrifice then is ok but i wont force her. If she will trust me when i want to do something but she is no sure but she still do it I will be very happy 

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4 hours ago, JayKi said:

I would rather sacrifice for her than her for me. If she is happy to make sacrifice then is ok but i wont force her. If she will trust me when i want to do something but she is no sure but she still do it I will be very happy 

A noble statement but irrelevant to the discussion.  Marriage requires sacrifice whether one likes it or not.  You can't sacrifice FOR your wife.  She is required to sacrifice just as much as you do - and that sacrifice is not something you can take away from her (unless you plan on being a doormat).  If she's willing to leave you alone in England because she can't sacrifice Costa Rica, we are left to wonder what else can she not sacrifice for your marriage?  Will she run back to her parents at the first sign of marital trouble?

Like, I said... it's a red flag.  But hey, I'm just some random girl on the internet.

Edited by anatess2
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20 hours ago, anatess2 said:

A noble statement but irrelevant to the discussion.  Marriage requires sacrifice whether one likes it or not.  You can't sacrifice FOR your wife.  She is required to sacrifice just as much as you do - and that sacrifice is not something you can take away from her (unless you plan on being a doormat).  If she's willing to leave you alone in England because she can't sacrifice Costa Rica, we are left to wonder what else can she not sacrifice for your marriage?  Will she run back to her parents at the first sign of marital trouble?

Like, I said... it's a red flag.  But hey, I'm just some random girl on the internet.

When my wife and I met, she was living 1700 miles away in CO.  She knew I could not move away from my kids from a previous marriage so she moved here to be with me, only going back for a few weeks at a time to finish her degree.

So yeah, you're absolutely right.

Edited by unixknight
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21 hours ago, anatess2 said:

A noble statement but irrelevant to the discussion.  Marriage requires sacrifice whether one likes it or not.  You can't sacrifice FOR your wife.  She is required to sacrifice just as much as you do - and that sacrifice is not something you can take away from her (unless you plan on being a doormat).  If she's willing to leave you alone in England because she can't sacrifice Costa Rica, we are left to wonder what else can she not sacrifice for your marriage?  Will she run back to her parents at the first sign of marital trouble?

Like, I said... it's a red flag.  But hey, I'm just some random girl on the internet.

I seldom agree with @anatess2 but she hit the nail on the head. Once you are married you are her family. Not her mommy or her daddy.  If she is unwilling to be where her husband is you need to reevaluate your decision to marry because things only get harder.

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10 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

I seldom agree with @anatess2 but she hit the nail on the head. Once you are married you are her family. Not her mommy or her daddy.  If she is unwilling to be where her husband is you need to reevaluate your decision to marry because things only get harder.

I think she would if I told her I want her to and beg her but I don't want to change her mind for her. I want it to come from her so I just give her time and I sure she will want to live with me.

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2 hours ago, unixknight said:

When my wife and I met, she was living 1700 miles away in CO.  She knew I could not move away from my kids from a previous marriage so she moved here to be with me, only going back for a few weeks at a time to finish her degree.

So yeah, you're absolutely right.

That is so cool she did that.

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7 hours ago, unixknight said:

When my wife and I met, she was living 1700 miles away in CO.  She knew I could not move away from my kids from a previous marriage so she moved here to be with me, only going back for a few weeks at a time to finish her degree.

 

Did you ask her to move to be with you? Or was her decision ?

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