Why do I feel the Spirit if I have sinned?

[fairysmile]

I have been a member of the Church for a year. I have a boyfriend, and sexual immorality has led to a lack of commitment, and I haven't attended church for weeks. But I still feel the Spirit, I still pray every day, and it guides me in making decisions, like it know when I'd feel comfortable, and gives me so much strength, and obviously I know that I have done wrong. But things are going really well, my boyfriend and I are happy, I got into the postgraduate program I wanted, and I got a scholarship (I don't know if that was because I've always paid my tithing). 

A lot of members have asked me why I don't get endowed, but I would never do that in my situation. I am a Family History Consultant, and go to the temple a lot to do baptisms for the dead, I would take out a 6-week period before each temple visit, where I would have no unclean thoughts, focus on family history, prayers and reading my scriptures, and preparing for the temple, but that feels a bit arbitrary. 

I don't feel like I can go my bishop, as if I get excommunicated I won't be able to do the work for my ancestors, and it is not their fault that I messed up. The thing is, if I had to choose between the Church and my boyfriend, I would choose my boyfriend, but I'd rather not have to choose. I really like the Church, and most things about it makes so much sense to me, gives me a warm feeling, and just feels right. 

[Guest MormonGator]

The Spirt can be felt in many ways. I'm a sinner too, though I don't struggle with sins of a sexual nature-I have other weaknesses.

I've felt the spirit when I was blessing the sacrament or baptizing someone and I've also felt the spirit at rock concerts and road trips. It's hard to explain sometimes. My life, like yours, is also going great. I hope and pray your success continues! 

[NeedleinA]

15 minutes ago, fairysmile said:

I have been a member of the Church for a year...
...I don't feel like I can go my bishop, as if I get excommunicated

Extremely, extremely unlikely - near impossible if this is consensual sex between you and your boyfriend. You should talk with your Bishop and know that he will try to help put you down a different/better path, but a new member such as yourself should not fear "excommunication". Excommunication is reserved for a few select instances, none of which you have mentioned. Any kind of Church involved correction would not stop you from doing Family History work on a personal level and I doubt it would release you from your calling either. It may limit your ability to go to the temple, this should be expected but nothing is in stone. " Sexual immorality" has many flavors, so does church involved correction with your Bishop.

[NeedleinA]

Quote

Alma 37: 39 ...And behold, it was prepared to show unto our fathers the course which they should travel in the wilderness.

40 And it did work for them according to their faith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day.

41 Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works. They were slothful, and #1 forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey;

42 Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did not travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst, #2 because of their transgressions.

The spirit shows us our course, similar to the Liahona from the Book of Mormon. The Liahona worked according to their faith BUT eventually stopped working with them because of two main reasons:
1. They forgot to exercise their faith
2. Their transgressions

It sounds like you are falling short with item #2 (transgressions). The problem with item #2, is that more often then not - almost without fail, it leads to item #1.
You may be headed down what feels like a good path. The real question you should ask is are you missing the "better" path. Is your real journey off course because of your sexual desires outside of marriage? I would suggest your path is off, please don't trade the "better" path for a "good" path.

When is item #2 already affecting you negatively? Let's ask you:

53 minutes ago, fairysmile said:

The thing is, if I had to choose between the Church and my boyfriend, I would choose my boyfriend

Edited June 13, 2018 by NeedleinA

[zil]

Welcome, @fairysmile!  Please, please go see your bishop right away.  The longer you wait, the harder it will seem, and the less likely you'll do it.  The longer that goes on, the more likely other things will start to go wrong.  Right now, your sin gives Satan an "in" - take that away from him!  And the only way to do that is to go see your bishop.  It will be like a burden lifted and things will be better after the process is over.

If your boyfriend isn't a member, please consider having him meet with some male church members who can explain to him the seriousness of sexual sin so that he can work with you and not against you.  If he is a member, well, he should be off to see his bishop to.

[Magus]

On 6/13/2018 at 1:18 PM, fairysmile said:

I have been a member of the Church for a year. I have a boyfriend, and sexual immorality has led to a lack of commitment, and I haven't attended church for weeks. But I still feel the Spirit, I still pray every day, and it guides me in making decisions, like it know when I'd feel comfortable, and gives me so much strength, and obviously I know that I have done wrong. But things are going really well, my boyfriend and I are happy, I got into the postgraduate program I wanted, and I got a scholarship (I don't know if that was because I've always paid my tithing). 

A lot of members have asked me why I don't get endowed, but I would never do that in my situation. I am a Family History Consultant, and go to the temple a lot to do baptisms for the dead, I would take out a 6-week period before each temple visit, where I would have no unclean thoughts, focus on family history, prayers and reading my scriptures, and preparing for the temple, but that feels a bit arbitrary. 

I don't feel like I can go my bishop, as if I get excommunicated I won't be able to do the work for my ancestors, and it is not their fault that I messed up. The thing is, if I had to choose between the Church and my boyfriend, I would choose my boyfriend, but I'd rather not have to choose. I really like the Church, and most things about it makes so much sense to me, gives me a warm feeling, and just feels right. 

You feel the Spirit because the Lord loves you and because your heart, despite your sins, is attuned to him enough to still feel it and be receptive to it. I, too, have felt the Spirit in my life at times when I was not worthy. The Lord loves us more than we can comprehend, of that I can testify. At times he may possibly be "slow to hear" the cries of those who have transgressed, so to speak (as mentioned in Mosiah), but he never abandons us and his hand is extended towards us always. Usually it is we who abandon him.

You do not need to choose between the Church and your boyfriend. That is a false choice and frankly, a deception the Adversary would have you be deluded in. The real choice is righteous living vs. sexual immorality.

If your boyfriend can't accept you being chaste - that is his decision.

The other thing is.....marriage was invented for a reason...................not saying you guys should just go and get hitched because you want sex. But I think a more mature perspective on your relationship is probably in order (sorry if that sounds judgmental, just trying to give point blank advice. Maybe you are already thinking of these things I'm about to mention). One that includes long term views of commitment and where things are going to go. Do you want to have sex with someone you will not marry? Will you marry him? Do you love him? Then what's stopping you? Will he join? Does he love you? What's stopping him? All pertinent questions to consider and follow through on. Heavy lifting, I know. But that's life, I suppose. I wish you the best. The Lord loves you, never forget.