How to tell whether or not you are becoming inactive


Lee
 Share

Recommended Posts

My wife and I were talking and she told me that we need to be more active now because she thinks that once the baby is born she can see us becoming inactive. I tried to claim I was very active but my wife pointed out lots of things that made me realise we may not be doing too good spiritually. Do you think these are signs of becoming inactive: 

- We haven't paid a full tithe since being married 

- We never wear our garments except to church and to the temple

- We haven't been to the temple in 5 years except for 2 family weddings and we live 30 minutes away from one

- I deny every calling I am given (my wife doesn't but she doesn't enjoy them) 

- I never bother to watch general conference 

- I still haven't heard a single thing Prophet Nelson has said since becoming the Prophet 

- We have attended one ward event in the last 2 years 

- We have never had a family home evening since being married 

- We only attend church on alternate weeks now (due to circumstances out of our control) 

- When I attend church I often skip out after the sacrament meeting 

 

But I still feel like I have a desire for the gospel and we haven't broken the word of wisdom intentionally during our marriage. So I don't think we are at risk of becoming inactive because we want to keep our covenants. Do you have any advice on how we can make sure we stay active?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My answers are in-line, in blue.  (And I bolded two bits of your original text.)

48 minutes ago, Lee said:

My wife and I were talking and she told me that we need to be more active now because she thinks that once the baby is born she can see us becoming inactive. I tried to claim I was very active but my wife pointed out lots of things that made me realise we may not be doing too good spiritually. Do you think these are signs of becoming inactive: 

- We haven't paid a full tithe since being married 

Yes

- We never wear our garments except to church and to the temple

Yes

- We haven't been to the temple in 5 years except for 2 family weddings and we live 30 minutes away from one

Yes

- I deny every calling I am given (my wife doesn't but she doesn't enjoy them) 

Yes

- I never bother to watch general conference 

Yes

- I still haven't heard a single thing Prophet Nelson has said since becoming the Prophet 

Yes, but mostly because you're not watching GC.

- We have attended one ward event in the last 2 years 

No. Activities are optional, for those who wish to attend.

- We have never had a family home evening since being married 

Yes

- We only attend church on alternate weeks now (due to circumstances out of our control

No, but only because of the bit in bold.

- When I attend church I often skip out after the sacrament meeting 

Yes

But I still feel like I have a desire for the gospel and we haven't broken the word of wisdom intentionally during our marriage. So I don't think we are at risk of becoming inactive because we want to keep our covenants. Do you have any advice on how we can make sure we stay active?

If you aren't accepting callings, paying tithing, wearing your garments, attending the temple, or attending your Sunday meetings other than Sacrament, IMO, you're already not active - your ward is serving you, but you aren't serving your ward.  Implicit in the above is that you cannot renew your temple recommend (which requires you be a full tithe payer and are trying to attend all your meetings, not just Sacrament meeting).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Lee said:

Do you have any advice on how we can make sure we stay active?

My only advice is to find the thing that motivates you (as a family) to want exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom enough to work your butts off for it (because it requires serious effort to become the sort of person who enjoys work and service).  Once you find your personal motivation, then it shouldn't be (too) hard to serve others by accepting callings, participating in Sunday School and Priesthood/Relief Society meetings, attending the temple to perform proxy work for others, and training up your children in the gospel (FHE?) so that they grow up strong in the Church.

It may sound like superstition, but I feel like step one should be to wear your garments night and day as instructed in the temple and in handbook 2.  Doing this protects you from influences you may not even be aware of.  Start doing that and paying tithing and you begin to draw down the powers of heaven into your lives.  If your temple recommends are expired - renew them!

Edited by zil
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Zil answered your question, but I'd like to add to it.

If serving the Lord and exaltation aren't motivators for you, serving your family should be.  I testify with absolute assuredness that being active in church isn't just good for you, it benefits your marriage and family.  I absolutely believe, from personal experience as a convert, that you can't be the best husband and father you could be without being active in the church and setting that example for them.  You also can't give your children all of what they need to stand and face a sinful world on their own.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

31 minutes ago, zil said:

If you aren't accepting callings, paying tithing, wearing your garments, attending the temple, or attending your Sunday meetings other than Sacrament, IMO, you're already not active - your ward is serving you, but you aren't serving your ward.  Implicit in the above is that you cannot renew your temple recommend (which requires you be a full tithe payer and are trying to attend all your meetings, not just Sacrament meeting).

We do have temple recommends. 

 

26 minutes ago, zil said:

It may sound like superstition, but I feel like step one should be to wear your garments night and day

I can't do it in this heat 

 

25 minutes ago, zil said:

Oh, and if you aren't reading from the scriptures and praying daily, start.

I read the book of mormon for 15 minutes a week and the bible for minutes a week. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Brother, from your description you are well on the road to inactivity. Honestly, the way you describe yourself here makes it sound like you view church attendance as a burden rather than a blessing (especially since you say no to all callings and skip out after sacrament). Now you can fix this, quite simply in fact, if you want to, but it requires a change in perspective. I don't want to speak for you in the least, I only know what you said in your post so if I'm wrong about this please forgive me, but it sounds like you go to church more because you feel like you have too rather than out of a genuine desire to be closer to Christ. That is the change in perspective you need. You need to go to church to be closer to Christ, not out of some sense of social obligation or habit. Go to church because you want to receive forgiveness of your sins, because you want to grow and be made a better man, because you want to be chastised by the Spirit and feel a renewed desire to try a little better next week.  You want to go to church so you can be closer to Christ. If you can change that perspective, activity will be easier and not so much of a burden. This is a change that can only come from within, but you can start this week. Don't overwhelm yourself by trying to change everything at once, we cannot run faster then we have strength. Pick one thing on your list at a time and try to change your habit in that area. Stay for all three hours, or go to the temple. Do it for Jesus Christ brother, because you are important to Him. You can do this☺.

Edited by Midwest LDS
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Lee said:

We do have temple recommends. 

 

I can't do it in this heat 

 

I read the book of mormon for 15 minutes a week and the bible for minutes a week. 

As an aside, how do you have recommends without being a full-tithe payer?  I thought it was a requirement.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Grunt said:

Fountain K.  I always get EF Nib.  

You're a minimalist, aren't you?  There's like a dozen colors and four different section options.  (Fountain K is the best-looking of the metal pens, IMO.  I have the Fountain K mini.  I like the look of the Decograph too, but not enough to buy one.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 minutes ago, Midwest LDS said:

Brother, from your description you are well on the road to inactivity. Honestly, the way you describe yourself here makes it sound like you few church attendance as a burden rather than a blessing (especially since you say no to all callings and skip out after sacrament). Now you can fix this, quite simplyin fact, if you want to, but it requires a change in perspective. I don't want to speak for you in the least, I only know what you said in your post so if I'm wrong about this please forgive me, but it sounds like you go to church more because you feel like you have too rather than out of a genuine desire to be closer to Christ. That is the change in perspective you need. You need to go to church to be closer to Christ, not out of some sense of social obligation or habit. Go to church because you want to receive forgiveness of your sins, because you want to grow and be made a better man, because you want to be chastised by the Spirit and feel a remewed desire to try a little better next week.  You want to go to church so you can be closer to Christ. If you can change that perspective, activity will be easier and not so much of a burden. This is a change that can only come from within, but you can start this week. Don't overwhelm yourself by trying to change everything at once, we cannot run faster then we have strength. Pick one thing on your list at a time and try to change your habit in that area. Stay for all three hours, or go to the temple. Do it for Jesus Christ brother, because you are important to Him. You can do this☺.

Taking the sacrament is important to me but I don't always go to church to get closer to Christ. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, zil said:

You're a minimalist, aren't you?  There's like a dozen colors and four different section options.  (Fountain K is the best-looking of the metal pens, IMO.  I have the Fountain K mini.  I like the look of the Decograph too, but not enough to buy one.)

I am a minimalist in most things.  Most of my pens are black.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Lee said:

I have never had to prove I pay a full-tithe I just say I do when the Bishop asks me. 

So you're dishonest with the Bishop?  That's doesn't sound like a fun island to live on.  I'd say you really need to look at what you've got going on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, Lee said:

Taking the sacrament is important to me but I don't always go to church to get closer to Christ. 

That's what you should work on then. If you can change that, I think other changes will be easier for you. Also, you should be honest in your temple reccomend interview, something else I think you can fix by getting closer to Christ.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest MormonGator
4 minutes ago, Lee said:

I am not proud of it, I just can't help it 

Is a temple recommend worth it if you have to mislead your bishop to get one? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Lee said:

My wife and I were talking and she told me that we need to be more active now because she thinks that once the baby is born she can see us becoming inactive. I tried to claim I was very active but my wife pointed out lots of things that made me realise we may not be doing too good spiritually. Do you think these are signs of becoming inactive: 

- We haven't paid a full tithe since being married 

- We never wear our garments except to church and to the temple

- We haven't been to the temple in 5 years except for 2 family weddings and we live 30 minutes away from one

- I deny every calling I am given (my wife doesn't but she doesn't enjoy them) 

- I never bother to watch general conference 

- I still haven't heard a single thing Prophet Nelson has said since becoming the Prophet 

- We have attended one ward event in the last 2 years 

- We have never had a family home evening since being married 

- We only attend church on alternate weeks now (due to circumstances out of our control) 

- When I attend church I often skip out after the sacrament meeting 

 

But I still feel like I have a desire for the gospel and we haven't broken the word of wisdom intentionally during our marriage. So I don't think we are at risk of becoming inactive because we want to keep our covenants. Do you have any advice on how we can make sure we stay active?

Well you definitely aren’t active in the gospel. Once you can start doing all those things on the list, I would say you are active

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share