How to tell whether or not you are becoming inactive


Lee
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Guest MormonGator
5 minutes ago, Lee said:

I would feel more guilty if I actually went to the temple.

True. 

My temple recommend expired a few years ago and I just told the bishop upfront why I didn't plan to renew it. He wasn't happy, but having him be unhappy was a small price to pay in order to be honest. 

Edited by MormonGator
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2 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

True. 

My temple recommend expired a few years ago and I just told the bishop upfront why I didn't plan to renew it. He wasn't happy, but having him be unhappy was a small price to pay in order to be honest. 

My wife makes me renew it otherwise I wouldn't bother

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6 minutes ago, zil said:

You may or may not be able to help how much tithing you pay, but you can very definitely control whether or not you lie about it.

 I just can't help lying about it

Edited by Lee
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Guest LiterateParakeet

Lee, if you lie to the Bishop in a temple recommend interview, you are lying to the Lord.  

in my opinion, you are also lying to yourself about your activity in the church.  I would not call you active, and I don't think you really have a testimony.  Who am I to say that?  Well, you asked us our opinion, and that is my opinion.  

Here's more...going to church is all about our love for Christ and our gratitude for His sacrifice for us.  Because of that love and gratitude,, we strive to keep his commandments, which means being honest with the Bishop and a whole host of other things you have explained you are not doing.  

As MormonGator said you need to decide if you want to be active or not.  If you don't that is your choice, no one will force you.  However, if you want to be active in the church, you need to stop lying to yourself.  And get on your knees and get a testimony.  

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****

On a different note, @Lee I see in your OP here you listed a bunch of outward actions.  Now, how about the inward?  How is your relationship with God?  Are you nurturing and strengthening your relationship with Him-- is that love your top priority, or has it kind of gotten back burnered lately?

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@Lee

By a whole bunch of yardsticks, your level of activity in the Mormon church is flagging.  

But how do you define the Gospel?  i suspect your definition does not align with the Mormon church's definition.  If it did, i seriously doubt you'd be asking this forum to interpret the meaning of the things you've listed.  Though perhaps i'm wrong on this point?

From what i've seen, partial activity (that isn't heading towards full activity) is not well tolerated within the Mormon church.  No blame here, just an observation.  Even if you are physically present, if you are not willing to invest the energy to be emotionally vested (or at least feigning this), then you'll be exposed to attempts to change you.  To @MormonGator's point - if you're a willing participant in that process of correction (if it's like the person who knows they shouldn't be smoking but still does), then that's great.  But if you really don't agree, at some basic level, with the changes others are trying to make in you, it's likely going to be a distinctly unpleasant, unproductive experience wrought with frustration for both you and the people attempting to modify you.

As an inactive myself, all i'll say is that God and Jesus exist outside the Mormon church.  It's a real tragedy that most people who leave the Mormon church - or even organized religion in general - never make that leap.  Experiences have placed them in the shadow of organized religion, and so they just discard God and Jesus right along with organized religion.  It took a tsunami of angst to get me to separate the two, but i can separate them now.  i get the claims of exclusivity that religions make.  Honestly, i tend to think organized religion is necessary.  But a necessary part of the whole.  And maybe the things that make it necessary are not the same as the reasons the religions cite for being necessary.  But perhaps if they didn't create identities based on the unnecessary, the necessary parts couldn't exist.

The lying and pretending to be or believe something other than what you do isn't worth it.  The conflict will tear you apart.  i really think in the end, it will have been better to believe what we believe than it will be to pretend to have believed something you didn't.  How far faith was meant to blur the line between the two is a question only your conscience can answer.
 

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Guest MormonGator
10 hours ago, Vort said:

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Not sure about that. I think @Lee is genuine-though I don't agree with his choices either. I think he needs to grow a bit and be more secure. 

Edited by MormonGator
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Oh my, can I be harsh? I'll do it with love, I'll try. Remember Laman and Lemuel? they had seen angels, their father was a prophet, but they were "past feeling". I believe, brother and sister, you are in a danger zone. If you don't change now, your child will grow up without the gospel.

You have made temple covenants, you promised to always wear the garment. Why are you not wearing it?  Did you guys have testimonies of the gospel before going to the temple?  If you didn't, get one! if you pray and nothing happens, keep praying until something happens. Because God will not be mocked.

I think you guys are past feeling. You cant be living in Babylon during the week and go to Zion on the Sabbath to calm your conscience. The Gospel is black or white, there is not gray areas, you obey or you don't. The best advice I can give you is for the two of you to talk to your bishop, start wearing the garment, and do not go to the temple, you need to talk to your bishop first.

I pray your bishop is a great leader and that he will be able to help you. You have obtained a temple recommend based on lies, and there are consequences, but if you truly want to come back in full activity you probably will have to go through some serious repentance, and come clean with your bishop. (And I think you do want to, as you're here asking for our opinion).

You know what is right, and I think because of the light of Christ, and the Holy Ghost you are here asking about it, you know you are way too casual on your gospel dealings, and way too comfortable not doing the things you promised you would.

I would also recommend to study the temple covenants you've made. Lately I have learned how they are truly designed for us to apply them into our lives and let them be a guide.

Ask Heavenly Father to help you, Jesus is right there, waiting for you to take His hand to guide you.

Good luck.

 

 

Edited by Chilean
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11 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

in my opinion, you are also lying to yourself about your activity in the church.  I would not call you active, and I don't think you really have a testimony.  Who am I to say that?  Well, you asked us our opinion, and that is my opinion.  

I have a strong testimony of the gospel, I may not have a lot of faith that I will receive blessings if I do certain things, that is one reason I don't wear the garments or attend the temple or pay a full-tithe. I do have a strong testimony though 

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11 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

On a different note, @Lee I see in your OP here you listed a bunch of outward actions.  Now, how about the inward?  How is your relationship with God?  Are you nurturing and strengthening your relationship with Him-- is that love your top priority, or has it kind of gotten back burnered lately?

I pray every day and I fast often. I feel like I have the spirit with me. I could put more effort into strengthening my relationship with God but I am in a good place spiritually I know that. 

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31 minutes ago, Lee said:

I have a strong testimony of the gospel, I may not have a lot of faith that I will receive blessings if I do certain things, that is one reason I don't wear the garments or attend the temple or pay a full-tithe. I do have a strong testimony though 

You might have a testimony of some of the things concerning the Gospel/restored gospel, but you haven't gain (for what you are saying) a testimony of tithing, or temples, or the garment, and that's because of your lack of faith. 

Maybe you need to start doing those things in order for you to gain a testimony.

Follow the invitation of Alma.

"And now, my beloved brethren, as ye have desired to know of me what ye shall do because ye are afflicted and cast out—now I do not desire that ye should suppose that I mean to judge you only according to that which is true—  But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words."

 

 

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Guest MormonGator

@Lee, I think you are a great guy and I have full faith and confidence that you are on the right track in your spiritual growth. God bless you my brother, we are all praying for you! 

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5 hours ago, Chilean said:

If you don't change now, your child will grow up without the gospel.

We will raise our child in the Gospel and I will always be a good example to them. I practice my priesthood a lot and it is very important to me to keep it for the benefit of my family 

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Guest LiterateParakeet
18 hours ago, MormonGator said:

@Lee, I think you are a great guy and I have full faith and confidence that you are on the right track in your spiritual growth. God bless you my brother, we are all praying for you! 

I second this.  Congratulations on your baby.  You are in a great period of life, enjoy!

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On 7/4/2018 at 4:15 PM, Lee said:

My wife and I were talking and she told me that we need to be more active now because she thinks that once the baby is born she can see us becoming inactive. I tried to claim I was very active but my wife pointed out lots of things that made me realise we may not be doing too good spiritually. Do you think these are signs of becoming inactive: 

- We haven't paid a full tithe since being married 

- We never wear our garments except to church and to the temple

- We haven't been to the temple in 5 years except for 2 family weddings and we live 30 minutes away from one

- I deny every calling I am given (my wife doesn't but she doesn't enjoy them) 

- I never bother to watch general conference 

- I still haven't heard a single thing Prophet Nelson has said since becoming the Prophet 

- We have attended one ward event in the last 2 years 

- We have never had a family home evening since being married 

- We only attend church on alternate weeks now (due to circumstances out of our control) 

- When I attend church I often skip out after the sacrament meeting 

 

But I still feel like I have a desire for the gospel and we haven't broken the word of wisdom intentionally during our marriage. So I don't think we are at risk of becoming inactive because we want to keep our covenants. Do you have any advice on how we can make sure we stay active?

Bad news @Lee Your inactive.

This does not mean that you don't have a testimony, or feel close to Christ or live in a manner becoming a member of the church you're just not an active participant in the gospel. How can you be when you don't accept callings, pay your tithing, lie to your bishop, etc. etc.

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7 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

Bad news @Lee Your inactive.

This does not mean that you don't have a testimony, or feel close to Christ or live in a manner becoming a member of the church you're just not an active participant in the gospel. How can you be when you don't accept callings, pay your tithing, lie to your bishop, etc. etc.

I think we are active in the gospel I live by the standards and use the gospel to guide me. I use my priesthood a good amount and that is my favourite part of being LDS.  I don't do all the detailed things I should but that doesn't mean I am inactive. 

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Guest MormonGator
16 minutes ago, Lee said:

I think we are active in the gospel I live by the standards and use the gospel to guide me. I use my priesthood a good amount and that is my favourite part of being LDS.  I don't do all the detailed things I should but that doesn't mean I am inactive. 

Just hang in there bud. Take it at your own pace. 

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On 7/6/2018 at 4:54 PM, Lee said:

I think we are active in the gospel I live by the standards and use the gospel to guide me. I use my priesthood a good amount and that is my favourite part of being LDS.  I don't do all the detailed things I should but that doesn't mean I am inactive. 

Your splitting hairs, if your lying to your Bishop your not living the gospel standards, if your not accepting callings and serving your fellow man your not living gospel standards, if your not regularly attending your meetings to participate in the sacrament your not living the gospel standards. 

Sure things could be much worse, you exercise your priesthood, and have a testimony but they could be better.

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Guest MormonGator
2 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

This is great advice, peaks and valleys most members go through this....eventually a leveling off occurs.

Thank you my friend. 

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On 7/5/2018 at 12:57 PM, Lee said:

My wife makes me renew it otherwise I wouldn't bother

A lot of people stay in various religious groups and participate in things they do not believe in anymore for the sake of their marriage.  I can understand your point of view and your reasons for doing this.

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