Advice needed, long read: Contemplating Divorce


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On 7/18/2018 at 12:53 AM, jmom said:

@Latter-Day Marriage I've thought about that as well and am still torn. Is it better for him to be in a home with a superficially happy picture of United biological parents while his mom is secretly halfway depressed and void of romantic feelings for his father every day? Or better for him to live between the two of us while we're both happy with new partners whom share goals, values, spirituality, chemistry, and attraction? I don't know. Leaving is much harder said than done, of course, but I also had a very positive experience with having stepparents as a child.

Divorce is really hard on kids, really hard.  If they are not at risk of abuse in your marriage then it is better for them that you stay married.  But that doesn't mean things have to stay as they are.  You keep working on the issues, keep fighting for a better marriage.  You give your kids that example and they will learn good things from it however it turns out.

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On 7/18/2018 at 3:28 PM, NeuroTypical said:

Last time I checked, kids from a broken home are more likely to: 
- Become pregnant as teenagers.
- Fall under the poverty line
- Get divorced
- Have children out of wedlock
- Go to prison
- Become alcoholic or involved in illicit drugs
...than kids who come from intact two-parent households.   They're less likely to graduate high school, and less likely to go to college.

 

and more likely to be abused (often by Mom's new boyfriend)

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13 hours ago, jmom said:

@anatess2 I believe there's a difference between "loving" someone and being "in love" with someone. One is general, the other is romantic. I won't ever stop "loving" him, much like I'd never stop loving my child or siblings, if that's what you're getting at, but I haven't felt "in love" with him for at least 2 years now. I didn't choose to feel that way, it just happened over time. You can absolutely choose to love someone but I don't believe you can choose to be IN LOVE with someone. That's what I am currently struggling with in my situation.

What do you mean by, "I love him" or "I love my child or siblings".  Define Love.

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  • 9 months later...

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