Church responds to man on hunger strike

[pam]

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900026367/lds-church-responds-to-man-engaged-in-hunger-strike-to-protest-bishops-interviews.html

SALT LAKE CITY — Leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints responded Sunday afternoon to a man who has launched a hunger strike to protest church policies regarding interviews with children and youth.

Sam Young, a former LDS bishop from Houston, stopped eating Friday at 7 p.m. On Sunday morning at 9, he announced his hunger strike. He said his goal was for the church to stop one-on-one bishop's interviews with children and youth and to end the use of what he described as sexually explicit questions during those interviews.

[Chilean]

I was jut reading that, and was wondering about what everyone here thinks.

I have never ever had any issues with bishops and stake presidents. As a youth I always enjoyed talking to my bishops and stake president (or any of the counselors). I guess I was blessed to have such great leaders.

As I got older that experience hasn't changed. Even though I did have a bishop tell me I shouldn't get a divorce because I didn't have a chance to ever getting married again, as I have 2 kids (Jerk! I did it anyways, and got married 3 yrs later and a month ago I married him in the temple. LOL).
 

Because my recent sealing, 2 kids were interviewed by our stake president. and of course I knew the questions he was gonna ask them, right after the meeting I asked them what they talked about, and they told me about the questions he asked, and that was pretty much it.

I think we need to educate our kids, and tell them about the law of chastity (my 8 yrs old is waaay too inmature. but my oldest learned from us about babies when she turned 8).
 

I think, yes having another adult in the room might be a good idea, but... if I was going through things, and I was a young girl, and wanted to talk to my bishop, I would rather talk to him alone, instead of my mom or another counselor.

About the former bishop with the strike... He can do whatever he fells he needs to do. It just upsets me the fact that in the article it states he is telling investigators to not join the church.

 

 

 

[Guest MormonGator]

I'm concerned about the safety of children of course, but I'm also concerned about the safety of the stake president and bishop. Even the accusation of assault can destroy you. It's common sense to have a witness there just to back you up. 

[BJ64]

The church has not addressed his concern about sexually explicit questions and I don’t think they will. 

[Guest MormonGator]

1 minute ago, BJ64 said:

The church has not addressed his concern about sexually explicit questions and I don’t think they will. 

If it gets enough media attention they'll be forced to. 

[BJ64]

Just now, MormonGator said:

If it gets enough media attention they'll be forced to. 

He wants them to stop asking about masturbation. I would agree with that but there will have to be a rethinking on that issue before they quit asking about it. I read a rumor that a northern Utah stake was directed by a visiting general authority to no longer ask about masturbation but that’s most likely just a rumor. 

I’ve noticed that “To Young Men Only” is no longer available in print or for download. The conference talk it was based on is also not available on gospel library either. Though it’s still available for viewing on lds.org. I think this is a step in moving away from the strict anti masturbation stance of the past but it’s still not to the point of not asking. 

[zil]

29 minutes ago, BJ64 said:

The church has not addressed his concern about sexually explicit questions and I don’t think they will. 

Yeah they did - they released a standardized set of questions to be asked of youth (as in, "this is what the bishop will ask, not other stuff"), and none of those are sexually explicit (if someone thinks they are, someone needs to watch more porn... er, no, wait, that doesn't work, don't do that...  meanwhile, the point should be obvious).

https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/new-guidelines-for-interviewing-youth

Unless, of course, you're talking about a young person confessing to having sinned in a sexually explicit way, in which case, well, they can hardly discuss repentance without at least dancing around the edges of whatever sexually explicit thing the kid did.  And, frankly, if the kid can do it, the kid can talk about it.

[BJ64]

1 hour ago, zil said:

Yeah they did - they released a standardized set of questions to be asked of youth (as in, "this is what the bishop will ask, not other stuff"), and none of those are sexually explicit (if someone thinks they are, someone needs to watch more porn... er, no, wait, that doesn't work, don't do that...  meanwhile, the point should be obvious).

https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/new-guidelines-for-interviewing-youth

Unless, of course, you're talking about a young person confessing to having sinned in a sexually explicit way, in which case, well, they can hardly discuss repentance without at least dancing around the edges of whatever sexually explicit thing the kid did.  And, frankly, if the kid can do it, the kid can talk about it.

I worded my comment poorly. What I should have said is that this group does not want any discussion of sexual matters and that the church has not reacted to that demand in the way thus group wants nor do I believe it will.

The following are excerpts from a letter that parents are encouraged to send to their priesthood leaders. 

No sexual matters are to be discussed during any meetings involving our children.

 

The second form of abuse which results from these interviews is harder to identify, however is much more prevalent. This is called covert abuse.

Imagine a parent chastising a toddler every-time she stumbles while learning to walk – telling the child that they are wicked, weak and worthless at every misstep. We could see this as a form of verbal and emotional abuse – even though the parents may be well meaning in their attempts to help the child get command of their ability to walk. The child would internalize the message of failure and worthlessness and it would shape how the child viewed herself and her worth. It is a fact that everyone who ever learned to walk stumbled along the way, and those stumbles were part of the normal development of the child – but the child would not understand that reality. They would imagine that they were the only ones who kept stumbling as they developed and it would cause a form of dissociation which results in a hatred of themselves and a sense of worthlessness which is harmful.

This is the reality faced by many youth who are navigating puberty and are faced with leaders who demonize aspects of normal human sexual development under the heading of sexual purity. These leaders may be well meaning but they are untrained and ignorant of normal human sexual development or the traumatic psychological effects of inappropriate shaming.

Just as the obvious sort of verbal and emotional abuse may lead to a life of self-loathing, insecurity, depression, self harm or anxiety and dysfunction – covert sexual abuse resulting from these interviews can be just as destructive.

 

Explicit questions about moral worthiness will not be asked to my children.

 

I am requesting that you do not ask explicit questions about masturbation, sexual orientation, or any other intimate sexual activity. These are items that we will discuss with our children in our home, as their parents. I do not think it is appropriate for a young boy or girl to be in a room alone with a man, any man, and be asked these types of questions.

Children are not under covenant to obey the Law of Chastity. That is a temple covenant. We will discuss chastity in our home with our children. What it means, and how it relates to them. However, I do not want them being asked by an adult man if they are sexually pure.

[zil]

I respect that group's right to be wrong.

[Guest MormonGator]

Can a parent ask a bishop not to ask their minor child questions that are sexual in nature? 

 

[estradling75]

7 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Can a parent ask a bishop not to ask their minor child questions that are sexual in nature? 

 

A parent can ask for whatever they want...  they might not like the results but they can ask.

For example if I were a bishop and some parent handed that letter or asked me not to... I would confirm that they do not want me to ask the Temple interview question "Do you live the Law of Chasity?"

If they confirmed that was exactly what they did not want me asking... I would accept the parent's wishes and not ask.  I would then inform the parents that because I can not complete a Temple recommend interview with the child I could not issue one to that child.

If they are ok with that then the issue is done...  If they have a problem with that then we can discuss options.  After all having a parent join for the interview is totally an option.

 

[Guest MormonGator]

7 minutes ago, estradling75 said:

having a parent join for the interview is totally an option.

Yup, that's what I would do too. No doubt. 

Thanks. 

[NeuroTypical]

So, here's a thing: The 16-17 yr old kid who confesses to his bishop of sinning with a boyfriend/girlfriend.  Kid works through the repentance process with bishop.  Kid is anxious to the point of passing out at the prospect of people finding out details, worried about what people will think, etc.  

No laws have been broken.  No abuse or anything close to it.  No reason to call any hotline.  Bishop has discussed case with Stake President without using names.  All the parents know of the relationship, and have been worried things got too serious.  Bishop and kid reach an agreement on what to tell parents/peers/others, agreeing on statements like "Bishop is helping kid work through some things."  Both kids' bishops compare notes.  Basically, parents are kept in the dark on the details.   Kid emerges from repentance process with a clean soul and lighter shoulders that have shed the burden of the sin, and life is good again.

Anyone want to call foul here?

(I know this is a thing, because I was executive secretary and watched part of this process fly by.  I am changing some of the details, and probably misremembering others.)

Edited July 30, 2018 by NeuroTypical

[NeedleinA]

17 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Anyone want to call foul here?

Nope.

I wonder how much some parents are going to regret shining a light on the details of their youth's repentance process.

Bishop: "How do you believe your addiction to pornography started Billy?"
Billy: "I remember my dad watching R movies at night, some nude scenes caught my eye"
Billy's Dad in the meeting: "I wish I was left in the dark on the details, now".

Most of the parents I've witnessed involved with the repentance process of their youth are too close to the situation and often try to impede the process rather than help it. 
Mom: "It is so unfair Sarah was disfellowshipped for a year, I think it should only be 2 months instead"

We have often seen the repentant youth having to calm down the overly worried parent sometimes.

Edited July 30, 2018 by NeedleinA

[Guest MormonGator]

Coming from a Catholic background, the sex scandals in the church did massive damage. The LDS church isn't run by idiots. They don't want the same thing to happen. It would be a preventive move on their part to learn from the huge mistakes that Catholic leadership did and not make them. 

[Vort]

2 hours ago, BJ64 said:

Children are not under covenant to obey the Law of Chastity. That is a temple covenant.

Liar.

Is it wrong of me to wish him success in his hunger strike?

[prisonchaplain]

5 hours ago, MormonGator said:

If it gets enough media attention they'll be forced to. 

Even if he's right, his tool of choice overshadows his issue. It is so wrong for a member of a church that believes the Holy Ghost directs who becomes leaders, and what direction the church will take, to resort to appeals to secular media. 

[prisonchaplain]

23 minutes ago, Vort said:

Liar.

Is it wrong of me to wish him success in his hunger strike?

Those who hunger and thirst shall be filled. I'm not sure what he's seeking to be filled with, though?

[Anddenex]

24 minutes ago, Vort said:

Is it wrong of me to wish him success in his hunger strike?

Hehe...ouch. I can't say I am not feeling the same way. This type of news allows me to understand more why the Lord referred to us as little flock and little children.

[LePeel]

3 hours ago, BJ64 said:

Children are not under covenant to obey the Law of Chastity. That is a temple covenant.

[BJ64]

12 minutes ago, LePeel said:

Just to clarify, the statement you quoted from me was not me speaking but a quote from the protect children website. 

[NeuroTypical]

2 hours ago, NeedleinA said:

Most of the parents I've witnessed involved with the repentance process of their youth are too close to the situation and often try to impede the process rather than help it. 
Mom: "It is so unfair Sarah was disfellowshipped for a year, I think it should only be 2 months instead"

Heh.  Anyone wanna spend 10 minutes and come up with a handful of threads where someone comes here and says that?

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

7 hours ago, BJ64 said:

Just to clarify, the statement you quoted from me was not me speaking but a quote from the protect children website. 

I thought that was the case, but liberal use of quotation marks and a link could help avoid confusion in the future.     

 

[zil]

4 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

... but liberal use of quotation marks and a link could help avoid confusion in the future.     
 

Or just using the quotation box (via the quote icon on the editor toolbar).

[Grunt]

20 hours ago, MormonGator said:

Yup, that's what I would do too. No doubt. 

Thanks. 

I may or may not, depending on the circumstance.  I would also want to give my son the freedom to talk openly about things that affect his eternal happiness.