Non LDS parents

[Irishlds97]

Hello all,

I was hoping someone would be able to help me with this. I converted to the church about 2 and a half years ago. I’m 21 now and really want to serve a mission, all my branch think I should and my PB said I would serve it. 

 

The only problem is are my parents. They don’t like the church and call it a cult, then when I spoke about the mission they were not happy at all! I really don’t know what to do. I really want to be a missionary but I don’t know how to overcome my parents objections. They refer to the church as a cult and are atheist. As is everyone else in my family, they think it’s strange that a 21 year old believes in God.

 

Has anyone else had this type of experience? How did you overcome it? Did you persuade your parents?

Thanks,

[zil]

Welcome, @Irishlds97!  Sorry for the difficulty you're having with your parents.  I don't have any comparable experience, so I'll just hope that someone can come by to help you out.  I think you should study it out, make a decision, and then ask God if it's right.  Even if your parents are unhappy about it, trust God to help you make the best of it.

Whatever you do, I recommend against arguing with them - that can't help.  Love and service, being humble - those seem like your best option.

[Guest MormonGator]

Yup, my parents are the same way. When I converted to the LDS church my mom even said "Out of all religions,you had to choose the Mormons?!"  (Her words, not mine). I can't blame her. After all, I'm sure a devout LDS mother would say the same thing if their child flipped churches. 

Simply put, the best thing to do is live your own life. They are your parents and they deserve your respect and admiration, but it ends there. You don't have to like them. You are allowed to think independently and make your own choices. 

[estradling75]

Welcome.

You are legally an adult...  But are you independent yet?

As an adult if you want to serve a mission your parents can't stop you.  But if you are still dependent on them then you need to change that, because whatever it is that you depend on them for they can take away for not behaving the way they want.

As for persuading them that you are doing the right thing... the most persuasive thing you can do is be Christ-like in all your behaviors. This could take awhile so prepare yourself for it.

 

 

[Jane_Doe]

2 hours ago, Irishlds97 said:

Has anyone else had this type of experience? How did you overcome it? Did you persuade your parents?

Yep, it's actually my in-laws though.  

This isn't something that "won" by words.  Rather, the best evidence is just letting them over time see how your life has improved with Christ-- let the fruit speak for itself.  Still, it's something that can take years-- my husband and I have been together for a decade and were friends for a decade before then, and the in-laws still struggle with it.  Some times love means long suffering patience with them.  In the meantime, I've learned I got to live my own life and let their problems be their problems.  I'm always here if they want to talk about things, I'm always making my love for them and my love for Christ known through everything I do.   

Edited July 30, 2018 by Jane_Doe

[prisonchaplain]

4 hours ago, Irishlds97 said:

The only problem is are my parents. . . . They refer to the church as a cult and are atheist. As is everyone else in my family, they think it’s strange that a 21 year old believes in God.

 

Has anyone else had this type of experience? How did you overcome it? Did you persuade your parents?

Thanks,

My morbid curiosity arises big time with this. As a Christian pastor who's been here for 12 years, I understand why religious parents might disapprove, but why would atheists care if you believe in God, the BoM, etc.? From a secular perspective, what do they mean by "cult?" What causes them to be so against your new found religion that they would oppose you following your dreams, at 21? You certainly need not speak for them on all these questions, but at the end of the day, what is the main factor about LDS spirituality that causes them to be so strong is their opposition? Do they believe it's just wrong and silly, or that it's dangerous? And then, why?

[Sunday21]

My family are all atheists. They also feel that the church is a cult and that I am crazy to be a member. I am personally responsible for every bad thing every mormon has done or is rumored to have done. All issues that I have in life are clearly the church’s fault. Time has not changed their opinion. 

You have to live your own life. Your parent’s opinion may never change. 

Edited July 31, 2018 by Sunday21

[Guest MormonGator]

The benefit of changing religions is that you find out who your real friends are. Parents are, of course, a little different, but your real friends don't care what religion you are. They like you for you. I'm very blessed, I had no friends stop talking to me or associating with me when I became LDS. My parents didn't cut me out either, for the record. 

I think it's a very good way to find out who really cares about you.  

[Manners Matter]

I'm sorry you have to deal with all that, @Sunday21.

@Irishlds97 - I agree with others that have said that you need to live your life. Glad you embraced the Church and welcome to the forum!

[Irishlds97]

8 hours ago, MormonGator said:

Yup, my parents are the same way. When I converted to the LDS church my mom even said "Out of all religions,you had to choose the Mormons?!"  (Her words, not mine). I can't blame her. After all, I'm sure a devout LDS mother would say the same thing if their child flipped churches. 

Simply put, the best thing to do is live your own life. They are your parents and they deserve your respect and admiration, but it ends there. You don't have to like them. You are allowed to think independently and make your own choices. 

Yeah I was baptised Catholic and my mum said she would be happier if I stay catholic. I don’t understand because she is atheist yet she wants me to switch back to being a catholic. I think it’s more of a cultural and heritage thing. There aren’t many LDS in Ireland so I can see why she is reserved.

[Irishlds97]

7 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Yep, it's actually my in-laws though.  

This isn't something that "won" by words.  Rather, the best evidence is just letting them over time see how your life has improved with Christ-- let the fruit speak for itself.  Still, it's something that can take years-- my husband and I have been together for a decade and were friends for a decade before then, and the in-laws still struggle with it.  Some times love means long suffering patience with them.  In the meantime, I've learned I got to live my own life and let their problems be their problems.  I'm always here if they want to talk about things, I'm always making my love for them and my love for Christ known through everything I do.   

Thank you so much I guess I must continue to show how much the church has changed me in a positive way!

[Irishlds97]

5 hours ago, prisonchaplain said:

My morbid curiosity arises big time with this. As a Christian pastor who's been here for 12 years, I understand why religious parents might disapprove, but why would atheists care if you believe in God, the BoM, etc.? From a secular perspective, what do they mean by "cult?" What causes them to be so against your new found religion that they would oppose you following your dreams, at 21? You certainly need not speak for them on all these questions, but at the end of the day, what is the main factor about LDS spirituality that causes them to be so strong is their opposition? Do they believe it's just wrong and silly, or that it's dangerous? And then, why?

I don’t know to be honest! Like I was baptised catholic and had Communion and Conformation done. She said she would be happier if I just stayed being catholic. She always brings up that when I was young I was so catholic and now I’ve switched to a “American church”.

She thinks it’s a cult because of what she’s read online. Things like tithing, temple work, the story of Joseph Smith, and she read that missionaries target young people so she thinks that’s why. She also feels like I think of them as family and that they are trying to replace them to lure me in.

There are so so many young people here that don’t believe in God and that’s why she wondering why I believe, it’s very rare here and for me to enjoy church and going to all the activities she finds it weird.

 

[prisonchaplain]

It sounds to my ears (as a dad) that they may be most concerned about the seeming abruptness and bigness of the change. If you went from Catholic to Lutheran, over the course of a couple years of exploring, they might not be so cautious, but going from the ancient tradition of Catholicism to the new religious movement of LDS spirituality--especially if it happened pretty quickly--likely raises their eyebrows. If so, your calm, loving, steady, consistent, and respectful approach to them is likely to eventually convince them that they will not lose you, and you have not given yourself over to a fanciful whim of religious fervor.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Hello and welcome!  I agree with what the others have said, the only thing I would add is: fast and pray.  I have found both to be very powerful in my life, but especially, fasting.   Pray and fasting may help your parents right away, or it might still take years, but more importantly...the prayer and fasting will help YOU.  It will give you strength and guidance about what to do.  Then have faith in the Lord.  Even if you feel like you just have a little faith, hold fast to that and build it through this experience.  

When the time is right and you go on your mission, you will have more opportunities to pray and fast!  So this will help you build your spiritual foundation.   Let us know when you get your call!   Until then we're rooting for you, and I will say a sincere prayer on your behalf and your parents.  I'm sure they are good people who just want the best for you.  

[Lost Boy]

20 hours ago, Irishlds97 said:

Hello all,

I was hoping someone would be able to help me with this. I converted to the church about 2 and a half years ago. I’m 21 now and really want to serve a mission, all my branch think I should and my PB said I would serve it. 

 

The only problem is are my parents. They don’t like the church and call it a cult, then when I spoke about the mission they were not happy at all! I really don’t know what to do. I really want to be a missionary but I don’t know how to overcome my parents objections. They refer to the church as a cult and are atheist. As is everyone else in my family, they think it’s strange that a 21 year old believes in God.

 

Has anyone else had this type of experience? How did you overcome it? Did you persuade your parents?

Thanks,

I have known a few people in your situation.  Serving a mission is an act of faith.  But lets lay this out for you.  Your parents love you.  I can hardly believe that serving a mission would change that love for you.  You love your parents.  You serving a mission is going to hurt their feelings a bit, but they will get over it.  You will show them love and write them often and let them know that they have been wonderful parents.

They may get upset if you go.  If they do, don't get upset back.  Have understanding and compassion.  It isn't going to be easy at first. But I have seen many a relationship blessed from missionary service.

[e-eye]

20 hours ago, Irishlds97 said:

Hello all,

I was hoping someone would be able to help me with this. I converted to the church about 2 and a half years ago. I’m 21 now and really want to serve a mission, all my branch think I should and my PB said I would serve it. 

 

The only problem is are my parents. They don’t like the church and call it a cult, then when I spoke about the mission they were not happy at all! I really don’t know what to do. I really want to be a missionary but I don’t know how to overcome my parents objections. They refer to the church as a cult and are atheist. As is everyone else in my family, they think it’s strange that a 21 year old believes in God.

 

Has anyone else had this type of experience? How did you overcome it? Did you persuade your parents?

Thanks,

Perspective of my brother-in-law and his conversion story -  

He joined the church and found himself in a very similar situation other than his mom and step dad were Christians.  They did not want him to go on a mission and didn't want anything to do with the church - h went anyway.  While on his mission his parents never wrote him.  His brother would take a red pen, correct all the grammatical errors and send the letter back without ever writing anything to him either.  Half way through his mission his mother came to visit him.  He was excited to see her, and she sat down with him at lunch and asked him if he was done messing around and ready to come home.  She was still mad that he was on a mission.  OF course he finished his mission, was very very, successful in baptizing, AP all that.  - About 5-10 years after he got home got married and had kids, his parents hearts softened - They joined the church and are very, very active and have been for some 20 years now.  His brother never joined but is very favorable to the church.

Family is always first and despite what I or anyone else says - if the Lord is calling you on a mission it will work out.  It will be for the better.  Serving may be hard at times but it will be worth it and the Lord will soften your parents hearts eventually.  

[Sunday21]

@Irishlds97 I would talk to your bishop. This might be a good time to start talking about financing your mission. My guess is that you will need at least some help with your finances so it would be a good idea to start discussing your situation. My guess is that your bishop will become a get source of moral support in your challenging situation.

[Chilean]

JUST GO!!

Their hearts will soften as they hear from you talking about how serving others is changing your life, etc. You will learn so many wonderful lessons during your mission, and I'm sure you'll learn to love your parents even more, even when they might not write back.

Ive met a few missionaries where their parents never wrote, no one to call for Christmas or mothers day. BUT other friends where still there cheering them on. I trust that your parents will eventually accept your choice and even join the church. The Gospel brings joy to families, and as years go by and you form your own family,  they'll be able to feel that love that the gospel brings.

So don't get discouraged! You'll be fine!  My parents got divorced before I turned 1 yr old. My aunt took us to church when I was a kid in primary. for about 16 yrs me and my siblings went to church alone. Eventually my mom joined the church. And Ive been able to see how as you keep your covenants and are obedient God will always, always, ALWAYS, bless you. What seems like a trial right now, later you'll look back and you'll see that those trials where just a mountain , to help you see even further. So trust me little brother. You will triumph and will be a great missionary!

Love, your Chilean sister.

Edited July 31, 2018 by Chilean

[Irishlds97]

4 hours ago, e-eye said:

Perspective of my brother-in-law and his conversion story -  

He joined the church and found himself in a very similar situation other than his mom and step dad were Christians.  They did not want him to go on a mission and didn't want anything to do with the church - h went anyway.  While on his mission his parents never wrote him.  His brother would take a red pen, correct all the grammatical errors and send the letter back without ever writing anything to him either.  Half way through his mission his mother came to visit him.  He was excited to see her, and she sat down with him at lunch and asked him if he was done messing around and ready to come home.  She was still mad that he was on a mission.  OF course he finished his mission, was very very, successful in baptizing, AP all that.  - About 5-10 years after he got home got married and had kids, his parents hearts softened - They joined the church and are very, very active and have been for some 20 years now.  His brother never joined but is very favorable to the church.

Family is always first and despite what I or anyone else says - if the Lord is calling you on a mission it will work out.  It will be for the better.  Serving may be hard at times but it will be worth it and the Lord will soften your parents hearts eventually.  

Oh wow, it’s great that it’s relatable and there is a happy ending! That’s all I want to do, to bring Christ unto people and let them experience the happiness the church gave me. Plus having the honor to wear Christ’s name over my head is just so awesome. Thanks you for the advice.

[Irishlds97]

3 hours ago, Chilean said:

JUST GO!!

Their hearts will soften as they hear from you talking about how serving others is changing your life, etc. You will learn so many wonderful lessons during your mission, and I'm sure you'll learn to love your parents even more, even when they might not write back.

Ive met a few missionaries where their parents never wrote, no one to call for Christmas or mothers day. BUT other friends where still there cheering them on. I trust that your parents will eventually accept your choice and even join the church. The Gospel brings joy to families, and as years go by and you form your own family,  they'll be able to feel that love that the gospel brings.

So don't get discouraged! You'll be fine!  My parents got divorced before I turned 1 yr old. My aunt took us to church when I was a kid in primary. for about 16 yrs me and my siblings went to church alone. Eventually my mom joined the church. And Ive been able to see how as you keep your covenants and are obedient God will always, always, ALWAYS, bless you. What seems like a trial right now, later you'll look back and you'll see that those trials where just a mountain , to help you see even further. So trust me little brother. You will triumph and will be a great missionary!

Love, your Chilean sister.

Sister thank you so so much for your reply. That was such a great read. I’m so so blessed to be apart of this church. As I said above I want nothing more to bring people unto Christ and let them have the happiness the church gave me  and to be able to have the honor of wearing Christ’s name over my heart.  

What you said about some of the other missionaries was scary to read but it made me realize that some people have if tougher than I and still go ahead with doing a mission.

Thank you so much for your kind words and that push I guess I needed! 

Edited July 31, 2018 by Irishlds97
Forgot to add something

[seashmore]

I'm glad to see you so excited to serve a mission and bring people to Christ!  I think you will do just fine as a missionary, although things will be hard for you.  But definitely find a way to serve!

[Chilean]

15 hours ago, Irishlds97 said:

Sister thank you so so much for your reply. That was such a great read. I’m so so blessed to be apart of this church. As I said above I want nothing more to bring people unto Christ and let them have the happiness the church gave me  and to be able to have the honor of wearing Christ’s name over my heart.  

What you said about some of the other missionaries was scary to read but it made me realize that some people have if tougher than I and still go ahead with doing a mission.

Thank you so much for your kind words and that push I guess I needed! 

Yes, your mission might be the toughest thing you'll ever do, but it will also be the greatest thing! You'll have to deal with companions that are difficult, people rejecting you, wards that don't help missionaries. BUT also you'll meet the greatest people ever! and you'll be able to be part of their lives!   

The Gospel is true. and everyone needs to be onboard proclaiming its truths. You know, we were saved to come to Earth at these times, during these very difficult times when people are tossed everywhere, with different claims, and ideologies, and I see every day how people need to know about their Savior that loves them, about a God that is right there listening to them, ANSWERING PRAYERS!

I didn't served a mission... instead I got married, and ... yes... I look back always wondering why I didn't served. I have great kids, and I love them, but yes, I wish I would've served.  I'm a ward missionary, and I try to help us much as I can! Because I love the Gospel. Yes, Joseph Smith did see Heavenly Father and Jesus, and they talked to Him, the Book of Mormon is true, and the Priesthood, the very same power that Jesus had when he was on Earth, has been restored, brought back to Earth for our happiness, for us to be able to make covenants with God once more.

My husband and I are getting out of debt (we have just a house and car) because we will serve a mission when we retire. haha he's 38 and I'm 31, lol, yes, we have about 30 years before we serve, but we want to be ready now. 

Please, let us know where you are called to serve! (I live in the Macon, GA mission, and if we ever meet, I'm the spunkiest Chilean ever )

Take care my brotha'

 

 

[Backroads]

Well, of course your parents are upset! In their perspective, you joined a cult, threw away Irish Catholic tradition, and are now planning to waste 2 years of your life spreading cultish brainwashing shampoo. They'd be terrible parents if they thought this but didn't say anything to you.

Still, this is your life. No sense in living it by your parents' expectations. In fact, you following your desires might just glean some respect from them, who knows. Keep the path of communication open, give your parents love and respect... and then serve that mission.

[anatess2]

10 minutes ago, Backroads said:

 and are now planning to waste 2 years of your life spreading cultish brainwashing shampoo.

WHAAAATTT??????  I've been a member almost 20 years and nobody ever told me I'm supposed to get shampoo???  No wonder my ward all have nice hair and I still have frizzy hair!   I am filing a grievance to the Mission Office, the Bishop Office, the RS Presidency, and all my Visiting Teachers for this massive mission failure.

[Overwatch]

On 7/30/2018 at 2:12 PM, Irishlds97 said:

Hello all,

I was hoping someone would be able to help me with this. I converted to the church about 2 and a half years ago. I’m 21 now and really want to serve a mission, all my branch think I should and my PB said I would serve it. 

 

The only problem is are my parents. They don’t like the church and call it a cult, then when I spoke about the mission they were not happy at all! I really don’t know what to do. I really want to be a missionary but I don’t know how to overcome my parents objections. They refer to the church as a cult and are atheist. As is everyone else in my family, they think it’s strange that a 21 year old believes in God.

 

Has anyone else had this type of experience? How did you overcome it? Did you persuade your parents?

Thanks,

Hi!

Congratulations on getting baptized. I hope this is the only major issue you are overcoming at the moment. Serving a mission will be one of the biggest blessings in your life. You will be stretched to your limits and become a better person if you lose yourself in inviting others to come unto Christ. It is something that will stay with you for the rest of your life, whether you keep in touch with the people you served or not after you come home. IL97, I know it seems hard right now, to move against the grain of your already established life. I admire your love and respect for your parents. It's okay for them to be worried about you, to want the best for you. It's okay if they have doubts if you are doing the right thing. At this moment it is okay and right for you to do what you feel you like you need to do. If the Lord is calling for the work, go.  Go and serve faithfully. Your parents will be blessed for your sacrifice and service. 

I received a little shield when I went to war, to wear on my ID tags. It reads:

 

Edited August 9, 2018 by Overwatch