alyssab

Daughter wants her belly button pierced

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@alyssab - I was reminded of the youth devotional from this past June with Pres and Sister Nelson. I suggest you and/or your daughters listen to it (again as the case may be). Too many follow the crowd but we need to follow the prophet (who will help us navigate the "21st century"):

"My fifth invitation is for you to stand out; be different from the world. You and I know that you are to be a light to the world. Therefore, the Lord needs you to look like, sound like, act like, and dress like a true disciple of Jesus Christ. Yes, you are living in the world, but you have very different standards from the world to help you avoid the stain of the world.

With the Holy Ghost as your companion, you can see right through the celebrity culture that has smitten our society. You can be smarter than previous generations have ever been. And if you are sometimes called “weird,” wear that distinction as a badge of honor and be happy that your light is shining brightly in this ever-darkening world!

Set a standard for the rest of the world! Embrace being different! The booklet entitled For the Strength of Youth should be your standard. It is the standard that the Lord expects all His youth to uphold."
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2018/08-se/hope-of-israel?lang=eng

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On 9/2/2018 at 8:56 PM, Blackmarch said:

tell em while they live your house they abide by your rules... including standards of dress. once they move out then it's pretty much limited to strong advice and love.

My oldest daughter wanted a tongue stud (or whatever they called them 25 years ago), She knew the house rules- and when she was old enough to do what she wanted she bee lined down with her best friend to get her tongue pierced.  I thought it looked ridiculous,  she thought it was cool looking- the guys thought it was a come hither invitation. When she got serious with the man she married- he told her to get rid of that nasty looking thing. I smiled.

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Lol I wanted my lower lip pierced when I was a teenager, good thing I got over that quickly! 😬 You can tell her that you need to think about it or something to delay it. This way you 1.don't make her sad/angry and 2. you give her time to lose interest ; because this is the kind of thing that teenagers forget quickly 😁

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Sounds like you’re fighting the good fight and doing it with love in your heart.

My experience has been that helping our children come to love their Heavenly Father and their Savior is more effectively done by helping them hear the music of the Gospel than by harping on the dance steps. Google Music of the Gospel for a video illustrating this principle.

Experiences with the Spirit mold a soul in a fashion that result in the soul craving communion with God above all else.

While it may sound like a tall order, it’s doable.  It starts with our craving that communion ourselves above all else and having a soul full of joy as a result of that communion. .  As our children witness that, we have credibility when we share with them the fact that we have friends who bring joy into our lives but nothing makes us happier than our relationship with Diety.  

As we help them develop their own relationship with Heaven, Heaven does its part and behaviors and activities that are typically motivated by peer pressure are more likely to fall by the wayside.

There are other approaches (e.g. my way or the highway), but my logic has always been if I desire Celestial results, best to try to get there using Celestial principles.

Godspeed to you in your parenting endeavors.

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my 2 cents as someone who is heavily tattooed and at one time had piercings, i wouldn't let my hypothetical daughter get that particular piercing at 15, contrary to what some have said, it is sexualized and generally leads to other body modification , gauged ears and tattoos are the cool thing these days, when i was getting tattooed it was still looked down on by most of society. its the norm now. just as we learn line upon line how to be righteous the same goes for the seeds of rebellion.

but ultimately you are the parent, seek council from heavenly father on the matter and do what you think is appropriate.

(i say hypothetical because i only have two sons...who i will council to never get tattoos or piercings even though both me and my wife have. )

Edited by Barrett Maximus

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I am completely with your DH.  All piercings look trashy.  My wife went over 40 years without getting her ears pierced.  The day she did a bit inside of me died.

I have never seen pierced ears that enhanced the beauty of the person who has them.  She tells me that she feels obliged to wear them, because she is the only woman at work who doesn't...  errr at least didn't.  I thought that was way cool that she didn't, but now she does.  At least she takes them out immediately when she gets home and she never wears them on date night.

I made a rule for my daughters that they had to wait till they were 12 before getting their ears pierced.  My oldest daughter at age 11.5 asked if she could get them pierced early.  I said no.  She is now 21 years old and never got her ears pierced...  by her choice of course.  My second daughter got hers pierced at age 14 when my wife got hers pierced.  She usually does not wear her bobbits.  My youngest daughter is now 17 and has zero interest in getting her ears pierced.

I guess I like natural beauty over fake.  My wife puts on makeup before going to work or going out with her friends. She looks good, but she looks far better when she removes it and I can see her natural beauty.  Yes, there are a blemish or two, but I don't care.  She is gorgeous without.  And lucky for me, she doesn't put that stuff on on her days off or when we are on dates and she takes it off right after she gets home from work.

She has asked me several times how she looks in makeup.  The answer is you look great, but you look better without.  Why does she use it?  because it is expected by her friends and coworkers.

Honestly, I think most women look better without makeup.  So what if there are wrinkles and blemishes.  The natural face is generally the true face of beauty.

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On 9/4/2018 at 10:13 AM, anatess2 said:

The belly-button ring is not the problem with your daughters.  It's the bolded above.

What difference does a belly ring make when the problem is a parent that doesn't seen to have any problem with their kids wearing crop and bikini tops?

That battle is well lost already.

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16 Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet:

17 Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will discover their secret parts.

18 In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon,

19 The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers,

20 The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings,

21 The rings, and nose jewels,

22 The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins,

23 The glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the veils.

(Isaiah 3) emphasis added

I keep trying to convince my wife that our children don't need any piercings at all.  We won't have pierced ears after the resurrection.  That said, the guidance given by the brethren is plain and simple:

Quote

". . . the Church discourages tattoos. It also discourages the piercing of the body for other than medical purposes, although it takes no position on the minimal piercing of the ears by women for one pair of earrings."

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1 hour ago, person0 said:

I keep trying to convince my wife that our children don't need any piercings at all.  We won't have pierced ears after the resurrection.  That said, the guidance given by the brethren is plain and simple:

Quote

". . . the Church discourages tattoos. It also discourages the piercing of the body for other than medical purposes, although it takes no position on the minimal piercing of the ears by women for one pair of earrings."

Neither my wife or two daughters have pierced ears.  By my count, that means I can have all three pair of theirs, and our family is still following prophetic counsel.  That sounds legit, right?

Image result for man piercings

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34 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Neither my wife or two daughters have pierced ears.  By my count, that means I can have all three pair of theirs, and our family is still following prophetic counsel.  That sounds legit, right?

The prophets advised against women getting their ears pierced? Just asking, not a challenge. 

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On 8/31/2018 at 8:53 PM, Sunday21 said:

Oh come on! It is a belly button piercing not an amputation! Relax! My mother used to forbid my older sister from wearing jeans to school. My older sister would change into her jeans under a tree. My mother was also convinced that only prostitutes wore anklets. Now nice ladies wear anklets to church.

The world will not fall if a girl gets her belly button pierced. Lighten up! 

This is exactly what the world teaches. Do not let her get the piercing. As long as she lives with you she follows the house rules, and your rules and instincts should not be altered because of the actions of one of your children. It may not be the end of the world, but the principle in play here is modesty plain and simple. If she gets a belly button ring, she will then want to wear a bikini to show it off. Also, what message will that send to all of the other girls she associates with...what will they start to think?

Edited by scottyg
spelling

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I would tell my 15-year-old daughter that she did not have permission to pierce her navel. She can do so when she's 18

This is the correct answer and is really the only answer that needs to be given.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Anyway, this thread brings out memories for me.   My mother was somewhat extreme in this regard.   She believed  in no makeup, no piercing, no jewelry, and no hair coloring.  My sister couldn't get her ear pierced until she was an adult.  

One day my brother, probably at age 11 or 12 bleached his hair partially with hydrogen peroxide.   My mom went ballistic and told him that only evil people dye their hair.

A few months later we were visiting grandma and she had just dyed her hair red to get some of the gray out.   The first thing my brother said to my grandma is that "my mom says that you are evil and that only evil people dye their hair" (with obvious emphasis on the word evil in the way that he said it).   My brother was right about my mother saying that, but she was still (obviously) upset at my brother for saying that.  She told then us that it doesn't apply to old people.  

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1 hour ago, Scott said:

I few months later we were visiting grandma and she had just dyed her hair red to get some of the gray out.   The first thing my brother said to my grandma is that "my mom says that you are evil and that only evil people dye their hair" (with obvious emphasis on the word evil in the way that he said it).   My brother was right about my mother saying that, but she was still (obviously) upset at my brother for saying that.  She told then us that it doesn't apply to old people. 

I would have said,"Yup. And you don't know how evil Grandma can be at times."

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