Sunday21

Picking up people at the side of the road

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If I see someone at the side of the road, I normally stop and pick them up. Well about a month ago, I saw a couple in their 30s at the side of the road, it started to rain. I stopped to pick them up. They both got in the car. The man got in the back and the woman in the front. The woman was having a bad trip. The man begged me to take them to the hospital. The woman protested that she did not want to go to the hospital. I tried to persuade her. Eventually, I had to let them both out of the car. The woman was afraid of me. I gave the man some money. He was high as well. He almost forgot his knapsack and as he scrambled to pick up his stuff, a knife fell out of the knapsack. 

I wonder if I will ever pick up anyone again.

i have had friends who have been stranded at the side of the road in Satchewan winter conditions. For this reason, I always stop but now I am wondering. Maybe, I should not help people at the side of the road any more. My little town, the ‘no murder’ town has had 4 shootings since January. Things are changing! 

Do you stop to help people on the side of the road? 

Edited by Sunday21

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2 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

Do you stop to help people on the side of the road? 

Help or pick up?

Helping-- if I am able to / if they look like they need the help.  For example, if someone is obviously having engine trouble and we're in a cell-phone service area, and it's just me... frankly I'm a useless mechanic.  Now if we're in a remote no-cell-service area, I can offer to drive to a area with service to call a mechanic for them.   If someone just needs a jump in the parking lot, sure.    If they're having car trouble and I have a car-helpful person with me, sure.

Picking up -- WAY TOO dangerous.  No.  

Give money: that only hurts people.  There are good resources for people to get real help, not just money to continue bad paths.  

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Guest MormonGator

Um, @Sunday21, I got mad love for you, but PLEASE STOP DOING THIS. 

It's a dangerous world out there. As a single woman you are putting yourself in grave danger. 

Being a Christian doesn't mean being naive to how the real world works.

This is really, really bad idea. 

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I have picked up people, but I am also male.  This does NOT mean something could not happen to me, but I think people are less likely to try something. 

When I have picked people trying to get a ride, I normally make sure that I don't have my family members with me so if anything DID happen, I would be the only one hurt or affected.

That said, I realize that picking up people who are asking for rides can be inherently dangerous.  I would tell anyone picking up people that they do not know that this can be VERY dangerous.

I have also picked up those that I do know that are walking.  If you know the person it can be far less dangerous, but I suppose that depends on the person.

Hitchhikers can be very dangerous to deal with depending on who they are.  I would tell my daughters that it is something I would rather they would not do due to this. 

For me though, it just depends on the situation I suppose.

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Unless I feel prompted by the Spirit, which has not happened so far, but I'm open to it....I don't pick up people, or stop to help stranded motorists.  It's far too dangerous.  I might call emergency services for someone if they appear to be unable to do so for themselves.  For example, as you know in the north in the winter, things can get dangerous really quickly.  So if I saw someone walking down the road with no shirt while there is snow on the ground, I would assume they were somehow mentally impaired and call for help for them.  

 

Edited by LiterateParakeet

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"Derek will learn that the 90's are no time to play hero."-Randy Meeks, Scream 2. 

it goes for 2018 too. Sadly, things never end well for the Good Samaritan. It's usually the guy breaking up fights, protecting someone, or just trying to help who gets his butt whipped or worse-gets shot or stabbed. 

The desire to help people is noble, but it's best to do so via a soup kitchen or an established charity. 

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I often pick people up - but usually it is on my way up or down the canyon to go skiing or when I am driving our shuttle and trailer river running.  I also stop at accidents when the police or medical responders have not yet arrived.  If I am hiking - I will help if it appears anyone is in need.  Three times I have attempted the hike to the top of King's Peak in Utah and all three times have encountered someone injured that needed help getting out - I have never made it to the top.  Whenever I am cycling I will always stop when another cyclists is off to the side (if they are asking for help or not).  Whenever I am in the wilderness or cycling I carry extra stuff just in case someone needs help.  I also try to be of help at airports - one time at the San Francisco airport I helped an Asian lady with a small child (she did not speak any English) find her connecting flight and help carry her stuff to her connecting gate - I went to leave but she was in tears so I waited until she boarded and did not make my connection - but it was worth it.  I am not a person that likes hugs but that one was an exception.

But there are times I do not stop to help.  However, mostly it is because the spirits prompts me not to stop.  I seldom stop in the USA to assist a panhandler but there have been a few exceptions.  In foreign countries - I seldom assist others - once again unless I feel strongly to do so.

If I were to arrive at the spirit world because I was betrayed by someone that I was trying to help - I am not sure that would be a bad thing.  I would rather do that than arrive and find many asking why I would not help them.  

As for the parable of the Good Samaritan - The road to Jericho (even today) is dangerous and famous for harm coming to those who assist others - the Samaritan was taking a great risk and I believe that the risk taken by the Samaritan is part of the lesson given in the parable.

 

The Traveler

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Do you stop to help people on the side of the road? 

I do, especially if they look like they need help.  Sometimes I stop anyway if if someone isn't asking for a pick up and see if they need help.  I live in a remote area as well and there isn't much cell coverage around (I can't even get it at my house).  

I am a male though; I wouldn't encourage my wife to do it though.   

The thing is, when I was a kid, we did a lot of hitchhiking; usually with my dad.  Sometimes it was the only way we could get somewhere.   Almost no one who is asking for a ride is out to get you.  There are some very rare exceptions, and yes, you need to keep your guard up.  

When I was younger, I was picked up by many people offering a helping hand, and now it's time to return the favor.  

There can be lots of reasons why people need a ride.   Maybe his or her bike broke a chain.  Maybe his or her car broke down.   I picked up someone who didn't ask for help, but who was on a bike near Eisenhower Tunnel (11,000+ feet in Colorado) under the underpass trying to wait out a snow and hail storm.  Sometimes people just need a ride, especially in areas that have no cell coverage.

I don't see why it is any more dangerous picking someone up on the road than say meeting a stranger in the street.  There is always a risk there, but I'm not going to intentionally abandon someone that might need help.   

Edited by Scott

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Never by myself. My husband does now and then. When we drove up the coast a few years back, we picked up a hitchhiker. He was a kid from Belgium who was backpacking across the US before college. He apparently had access to money in case of a big emergency, but his main daily life was working odd jobs to pay for food and room. Nice kid.

But I otherwise don't pick people off the side of the road.

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I'll pickup hitchhikers.  Had a couple interesting 'near misses", but it doesn't stop me.  I've been there hitchhiking, and I remember how graeful I was when someone gave me a ride.

 

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I don't have the tools to make good judgments on the matter, so I never do.  My wife is a much better reader of people.  If she is with me, she'll say yes or no, and I'll go with it.  She's never steered us wrong.

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We picked up some young men who whose car broke down when we were in our twenties.  (This was in the 1990s.)  They were thankful for the help they got.  I would never do it now unless the Holy Ghost told me to or I knew the people.  I have a firm belief that the number one way to become a victim of violent crime is to hitch hike.  The number two way to become a victim of violent crime is to pick up hitch hikers.  It is sad that we live in a telestial world which is the reason I train with firearms and lock my home doors at night.

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I hate to see people stranded and I am likely to help someone with obvious trouble such as a recent collision or perhaps to fix a flat, but even then I'm more inclined to only help by going to get help (I don't have a cell phone) if they haven't already called someone (everyone else seems to have a cell phone). I don't pick up hitch-hikers very often. I don't think I ever have as an a driver, but I won't say that I never would either. Certainly my default position is not to pick anyone up.

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On 9/6/2018 at 3:26 PM, Sunday21 said:

. . .as he scrambled to pick up his stuff, a knife fell out of the knapsack. 

I wonder if I will ever pick up anyone again.

I would suggest that be the last time you do that. I spoke with a bus driver once and he told of a time he stopped to pick someone up in his truck. The guy started to climb into the cab and he noticed the guy beginning to draw a large knife. He said he was glad he had a .357 that he was able to draw before the guy had finished climbing in. The man looked up and saw the barrel pointed straight into his eyes. The driver said, "drop the knife on the floorboard before I turn your head into a canoe." He said the guy dropped the knife and slowly climbed back out of the cab and ran off. I asked him if he kept the knife and he said, "yes and it is a beautiful blade." I could not stop laughing for about 5 minutes.

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Being female I never pick up anyone on the side of the road or stop to offer assistance unless it’s an obvious accident and no other help is likely for some time.

I did have a scary instance happen several years ago when I picked up my 19 year old son from his job at 11:00 at night. He wanted to stop at the grocery store on our way home. I stayed in the car while he ran inside. As I was sitting there a woman came up to my car, opened the passenger door and asked if I could please give her a ride home. I thought maybe she was in trouble, so I said yes. As she slid into the front seat, the back door, passenger side, opened and a man got in, saying thank you for the ride. I’m thinking “this may not be good”. I told them I was waiting for my son, and luckily, my son got back to the car. We took them to their apartment complex.  Nothing happened, but, I wonder if I didn’t have my son with me, if there would have been a different ending.

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1 minute ago, classylady said:

Being female I never pick up anyone on the side of the road or stop to offer assistance unless it’s an obvious accident and no other help is likely for some time.

I did have a scary instance happen several years ago when I picked up my 19 year old son from his job at 11:00 at night. He wanted to stop at the grocery store on our way home. I stayed in the car while he ran inside. As I was sitting there a woman came up to my car, opened the passenger door and asked if I could please give her a ride home. I thought maybe she was in trouble, so I said yes. As she slid into the front seat, the back door, passenger side, opened and a man got in, saying thank you for the ride. I’m thinking “this may not be good”. I told them I was waiting for my son, and luckily, my son got back to the car. We took them to their apartment complex.  Nothing happened, but, I wonder if I didn’t have my son with me, if there would have been a different ending.

I'm hoping you learned from that to always keep the doors locked except when an approved person is in the process of entering or exiting the vehicle.  On my car, I set it to only unlock the driver door, so it takes extra action to unlock the other doors - and locking the driver door locks all doors.  And when I'm in that situation, I never stop checking the environment - including mirrors.

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My dad, my uncles all made me promise not to pick up hitchhikers.  One went as far as to make me promise not to roll down my window for any panhandler.  He was a cop and a did a lot of uncover work. I didn't ask him questions. Its been 20 years and I still hold true to my promise to them. 

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BTW - I have quit trying to pick up people in strange tight outfits that are running.  Even though it appears that they are in a hurry to get somewhere and my car would be much faster.  For some odd reason they get a little peeved when anyone tries to help them.  It is like they are in their own little world and they do not want to deal with anyone else.

 

The Traveler

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We're given pretty clear direction that we need to help those who stand in need, but then we get confused about how to judge righteously.

Quote

Perhaps thou shalt say: "The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just"— But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.

We take this to mean "someone is asking, and if I don't help, then I'm doing wrong and need to repent".   We forget that people lie to us.  And we also forget to ask what help looks like and what it doesn't.   Giving panhandlers money is pretty much not what helping looks like.  Giving to wise programs that work with the homeless and needy is much better.  Donating to food banks, paying fast offerings, volunteering at soup kitchens, and paying taxes - these are all good ways to "impart our substance unto the poor and needy".  Handing pass-along cards to panhandlers, or directing them to agencies that can help them are other, more involved ways - open to us when we've done our homework. 

Needy people walk among us.  People also walk among us who are willing to do various things to get what we have.  They are good at pretending to be in need.  You (usually) can't tell by looking.  

Edited by NeuroTypical

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5 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

We're given pretty clear direction that we need to help those who stand in need, but then we get confused about how to judge righteously.

We take this to mean "someone is asking, and if I don't help, then I'm doing wrong and need to repent".   We forget that people lie to us.  And we also forget to ask what help looks like and what it doesn't.   Giving panhandlers money is pretty much not what helping looks like.  Giving to wise programs that work with the homeless and needy is much better.  Donating to food banks, paying fast offerings, volunteering at soup kitchens, and paying taxes - these are all good ways to "impart our substance unto the poor and needy".  Handing pass-along cards to panhandlers, or directing them to agencies that can help them are other, more involved ways - open to us when we've done our homework. 

There are some really cool cycling shoes that cost $600 that I have not been willing to budget for.  I have thought of wearing my cycling team kit and standing by a freeway entrance with a large cardboard sign that says, "Old guy wants very expensive cycling shoes - Please Help!" - Just to see what would happen - My wife is upset that I would even consider such a thing.

 

The Traveler

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