My girlfriend is conflicted about serving a mission and marrying me


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@anatess2 , Not privy to all what has gone on with them, just their current situations.  It could be that they chose themselves to change their status?  I just know the repercussions of what they are going through now.  I know much of the difficulties arise due to monetary issues.  It could be they needed to work off campus or something (unsure) and didn't have approval?  The change in status is definitely affecting some of them though.  Maybe their visa had already expired?  That probably also affects them, though it is technically supposed to last until their projected graduation date (or I think it is the M visa which gives them some more time after that if they need it, something like 60 days).  I just know that their status seemed to be revoked very quickly and they needed to get other means.

Most of those I deal with are students on student visas so a majority of my experiences would be with those who had the F1.  We have a LOT of Non-US students on campus.  It seems pretty easy for most of them that get to the university to get their Visas, or at least a student visa.  Perhaps it is easier to get an F1 visa because a school is easier to get as a sponsor?

We have a department at the university that deals with a lot of this in Administrative law and Immigration law.  I am friends with the head lawyer (though who knows how long it is until he retires, I think he's around my age).  With the one who had his wife in the Philippines I took the young husband over to my friends office to personally figure out what other paperwork needed to be done and what could be accomplished to get the status moving more rapidly.  (It was taking a while at first).  I can't remember the exact advice given at that time, but I do recall it seemed to speed up the process with whatever my friend did.  We also called several government offices via this friend to try to get the status and other things as well as to suggest various items and clear up any thing they needed cleared up on.

 

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41 minutes ago, JohnsonJones said:

@anatess2 , Not privy to all what has gone on with them, just their current situations.  It could be that they chose themselves to change their status?  I just know the repercussions of what they are going through now.  I know much of the difficulties arise due to monetary issues.  It could be they needed to work off campus or something (unsure) and didn't have approval?  The change in status is definitely affecting some of them though.  Maybe their visa had already expired?  That probably also affects them, though it is technically supposed to last until their projected graduation date (or I think it is the M visa which gives them some more time after that if they need it, something like 60 days).  I just know that their status seemed to be revoked very quickly and they needed to get other means.

Most of those I deal with are students on student visas so a majority of my experiences would be with those who had the F1.  We have a LOT of Non-US students on campus.  It seems pretty easy for most of them that get to the university to get their Visas, or at least a student visa.  Perhaps it is easier to get an F1 visa because a school is easier to get as a sponsor?

We have a department at the university that deals with a lot of this in Administrative law and Immigration law.  I am friends with the head lawyer (though who knows how long it is until he retires, I think he's around my age).  With the one who had his wife in the Philippines I took the young husband over to my friends office to personally figure out what other paperwork needed to be done and what could be accomplished to get the status moving more rapidly.  (It was taking a while at first).  I can't remember the exact advice given at that time, but I do recall it seemed to speed up the process with whatever my friend did.  We also called several government offices via this friend to try to get the status and other things as well as to suggest various items and clear up any thing they needed cleared up on.

 

M visas are for Trade Schools - usually shorter stays, most of them less than a year.  Are you in BYU?  BYU would be under F - F minimum is 4 years.

It seems easier for you because you're coming from the perspective of the school - every student you get are already F approved.  Think about this - you know how difficult it is to apply to BYU for a US citizen - even Mormons?  Like, in my ward, the last 4 years, only 2 people got into BYU, and they only got into Idaho, not Provo which was their first choice.  My son is in senior year and is currently gunning for BYU-Provo's music program and he is busting his bumm to get the target SAT/ACT scores and a high GPA.  Now think of that difficulty PLUS qualifying for the small number of International seats at BYU competing with applicants from all over the planet... and then coming up with the money to pay for the International Rate Tuition especially for those coming from countries with a much lower currency to dollar conversion rate, and then passing the health screening and then proving you're not a terrorist, etc.

Most of the delays in processing applications is caused by improper/incomplete documents.  This causes the applicant to have to ping-pong the application forms between them and the Feds which could cause years of delay.  Therefore, the #1 advice given to visa applicants is - get a good immigration lawyer.  I, of course, didn't get a lawyer.  I did it all myself (it's how I know all these things) and in all my applications (I've changed status several times) I have never, not once, got a single ping-pong.  Cool, huh?  I should go to them online schools and become an immigration lawyer.

 

 

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3 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

M visas are for Trade Schools - usually shorter stays, most of them less than a year.  Are you in BYU?  BYU would be under F - F minimum is 4 years.

It seems easier for you because you're coming from the perspective of the school - every student you get are already F approved.  Think about this - you know how difficult it is to apply to BYU for a US citizen - even Mormons?  Like, in my ward, the last 4 years, only 2 people got into BYU, and they only got into Idaho, not Provo which was their first choice.  My son is in senior year and is currently gunning for BYU-Provo's music program and he is busting his bumm to get the target SAT/ACT scores and a high GPA.  Now think of that difficulty PLUS qualifying for the small number of International seats at BYU competing with applicants from all over the planet... and then coming up with the money to pay for the International Rate Tuition especially for those coming from countries with a much lower currency to dollar conversion rate, and then passing the health screening and then proving you're not a terrorist, etc.

Most of the delays in processing applications is caused by improper/incomplete documents.  This causes the applicant to have to ping-pong the application forms between them and the Feds.  Therefore, the #1 advice given to visa applicants is - get a good immigration lawyer.  I, of course, didn't get a lawyer.  I did it all myself (it's how I know all these things) and in all my applications (I've changed status several times) I have never, not once, got a single ping-pong.  Cool, huh?

 

 

That is cool.

You are correct that my perspective is probably that of the school, so yes, every student I see that has a student visa is already approved. 

If I recall, you are in Florida?   Some say it is myth, some say it's reality, but there is the idea that those who are from outside Utah (and especially Idaho, Utah, and Arizona) have it easier to get into BYU.  I think that's actually true, BUT, the counter to this is that there are simply more students who apply from the Utah, Idaho, Arizona areas and so it just seems that way because of how many are applying and don't get in.

I don't represent BYU, I respect the school.  I will admit that I normally cheer against BYU in games (hopefully that does not mean people see me as a Heretic now).

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3 minutes ago, JohnsonJones said:

That is cool.

You are correct that my perspective is probably that of the school, so yes, every student I see that has a student visa is already approved. 

If I recall, you are in Florida?   Some say it is myth, some say it's reality, but there is the idea that those who are from outside Utah (and especially Idaho, Utah, and Arizona) have it easier to get into BYU.  I think that's actually true, BUT, the counter to this is that there are simply more students who apply from the Utah, Idaho, Arizona areas and so it just seems that way because of how many are applying and don't get in.

I don't represent BYU, I respect the school.  I will admit that I normally cheer against BYU in games (hopefully that does not mean people see me as a Heretic now).

I think it's a myth.  I've been in this ward for 15-some years and I don't know of anybody who got into Provo.  We have some Idaho ones and several Southern Virginia ones (not a BYU school but is still affiliated with the Church) - who initially applied to Provo but did not get in, but got accepted to those other schools.  But then we don't have that many applying to BYU.  A lot of our youth go for in-State schools due to the Florida Bright Futures scholarship.

You're only heretic if you cheer for the Utes or the Broncos.  If you cheer for the Gators, I'm your best friend.  If you cheer for the Noles you're dead to me.  :D

 

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On 9/14/2018 at 10:01 AM, anatess2 said:

I think it's a myth.  I've been in this ward for 15-some years and I don't know of anybody who got into Provo.  We have some Idaho ones and several Southern Virginia ones (not a BYU school but is still affiliated with the Church) - who initially applied to Provo but did not get in, but got accepted to those other schools.  But then we don't have that many applying to BYU.  A lot of our youth go for in-State schools due to the Florida Bright Futures scholarship.

You're only heretic if you cheer for the Utes or the Broncos.  If you cheer for the Gators, I'm your best friend.  If you cheer for the Noles you're dead to me.  :D

 

smh since when have there been so many Nole haters on this site?? Truth be told, that team is probably not gonna get two wins this year. If they do, the second one had better be against the gators...

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Final update: Just a few minutes ago actually, me and my girlfriend have officially broken up. The emotions were rampant earlier this week for both of us individually, so its not quite the same now and I cannot feel any more at peace that this is the direction that the Lord wants us to go after thoughtful prayer and scripture reading. I believe that she will serve a mission and I will continue praying for her as she prepares to serve. Thank you all for your participation in this thread. Putting politics aside, you are all great people haha

Edited by LatterDSaint
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25 minutes ago, LatterDSaint said:

Final update: Just a few minutes ago actually, me and my girlfriend have officially broken up. 

Sorry to hear that. All of us have been there before, it's never pleasant.  

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13 hours ago, LatterDSaint said:

Final update: Just a few minutes ago actually, me and my girlfriend have officially broken up. The emotions were rampant earlier this week for both of us individually, so its not quite the same now and I cannot feel any more at peace that this is the direction that the Lord wants us to go after thoughtful prayer and scripture reading. I believe that she will serve a mission and I will continue praying for her as she prepares to serve and whilst she is serving. Thank you all for your participation in this thread. Putting politics aside, you are all great people haha

Breaking up is hard to do...  Those words would make a great song...

I think it is especially hard when you still like her a lot and you don't know what the future holds for you.  Time wounds all heels...  

My typical advise would be to go out and find another love, but in your case, maybe not what you want to do.  I would probably try and throw myself into school and work and get my mind off of things.

Good luck.

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On 9/16/2018 at 12:26 AM, LatterDSaint said:

smh since when have there been so many Nole haters on this site?? Truth be told, that team is probably not gonna get two wins this year. If they do, the second one had better be against the gators...

Gators probably won't win too many either.  But one of them will surely be against the Noles.

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14 hours ago, LatterDSaint said:

Final update: Just a few minutes ago actually, me and my girlfriend have officially broken up. The emotions were rampant earlier this week for both of us individually, so its not quite the same now and I cannot feel any more at peace that this is the direction that the Lord wants us to go after thoughtful prayer and scripture reading. I believe that she will serve a mission and I will continue praying for her as she prepares to serve and whilst she is serving. Thank you all for your participation in this thread. Putting politics aside, you are all great people haha

Big hugs.  You can eat all the cookies.  It's gonna be okay.

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