WandererO Posted September 27, 2018 Report Share Posted September 27, 2018 This is a long complicated story and I have multiple questions. Many of which I have partially answered myself but I want some advice as well. I am the daughter of the relief society president and a member of the bishopric. I am also a counselor for the Laurels president in Young women's. I love the gospel but I am definitely not perfect. I have been dating long distance for over 9 months and am so in love with my boyfriend. He is so respectful of me but has been struggling with the church for a bit. Recently I reached a point in my life where I was struggling with many things and my testimony was failing me. We were best friends before we started dating and before he moved and I tell him everything and we are so comfortable together. Recently I got to see my boyfriend for a lot longer than usual and because of my comfortableness around him and my joy in being reunited after a long time, we quickly became overly physical together. We both knew we were never going to break the law of chastity. The problem was that we had allowed ourselves to blur the lines. Justifying that because we were not breaking a commandment it was acceptable. Many of the Strength of Youth principles were broken. He was completely respectful of me but as stereotypically, he is more physical in our relationship and I am more emotional. So a week after he left I had been thinking about it for a while and realized that even though my boyfriend is so enthusiastic about marrying me and me him, we shouldn't be arousing those strong feelings before marriage. The next time he visited I got to talk for a long time about it with him. I expressed how I felt and he was very good about it, we set new boundaries, he was so sorry that I had felt guilty and was going to try so hard to keep me from ever feeling guilty again. I expressed my feelings about the church and how much I wanted to gain that connection with it again that I had lost the previous month or more. We really settled ourselves. I felt really good about the whole situation. But once I had discussed it with my parents: how we had gone a bit far but I had worked it out and it wouldn't happen again. They were supportive, especially about the part that I had been losing my testimony. I talked to them, began reading my scriptures again, praying again and felt peace... for a little bit. I feel as if my parents completely view me based on this discussion I had with them. EVERY time I am alone with them they pick up the discussion of repentance, Strength of Youth on chastity, policing my boyfriend and me more and how I might not be able to take the sacrament for a bit. This surprised me because I didn't think it was as serious as that due to the peace I previously felt about the situation. I was already embarrassed about disappointing them, now I can't move on from it because of how often they bring it up. I brought it up with my boyfriend and his parents know of the whole situation, and he didn't take the sacrament last Sunday out of guilt. I have been praying for forgiveness and guidence for the situation and felt so much peace from these spiritual experiences that it had not occurred to me that I would no longer be worthy of partaking of the sacrament. Each time a parent brings the conversation up I feel horrible again. I feel as if I actually had sex outside of marriage due to the extreme way they are taking it. I know that they care about me. But I no longer can focus on that peace I felt discussing the topic with both them and my boyfriend because every time I remove it from my mind one of my parents brings it back to full focus and make me feel horrible about myself. I have told them over and over that I talked to my boyfriend about it before them and how respectful he is and how we have established boundaries, but they continue to bring up how I should have acted in that situation. My other question on temple worthiness has to do with me being a president's counselor in the Young Women's. I was asked by my president if I could do baptisms with her early in the morning this week. I asked my mother if I could take work off the morning my president had planned (I am employed by my mom). She surprised me by saying that she didn't think I was worthy of the temple anymore and that I would have to talk to my bishop first about whether I could partake of the sacrament or attend the temple. I didn't know how to tell my Laurels president. I don't know what to do. I ended up telling her that I wouldn't make it the day they were suggesting so they moved it to a different date. Putting me in the uncomfortable situation of not being able to tell the truth or lie. They all have such high expectations for me. I am so involved in all my church activities and people see me as the daughter of my parents, who have such important roles in my ward. I am not perfect though. So I guess the advice I want to know is: When I talk to the bishop what could I expect? If he tells me I can't go to the temple, how do I tell my young women leaders and presidents that I won't be able to go no matter how many times they change the date? Any other advice would be wonderful. It has been a period of roller coasters, with my testimony and questions. I am so stressed about whether my feelings of peace are false and if I really should be feeling guilty every second of the day over this. I don't know if I will ever be comfortable going to my parents again for their advice. So very lost I would appreciate any advice seashmore 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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