Guest LiterateParakeet

Divorce rates are plummeting - why that is not as good news as it seems

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Guest LiterateParakeet

A Bloomberg article headline states "Milennials are Causing the US Divorce Rate to Plummet".  On the surface, this seems like a good thing.  After all divorce is generally frowned upon, and our leaders have told is the family is under attack, so this is good news, right?  No, actually the headline is misleading.   Milennials and Gen X aren't getting divorced as often because they aren't getting married in the first place.  But they are cohabitating . . . 
 

Quote

 

“One of the reasons for the decline is that the married population is getting older and more highly educated,” Cohen said. Fewer people are getting married, and those who do are the sort of people who are least likely to get divorced, he said. “Marriage is more and more an achievement of status, rather than something that people do regardless of how they’re doing.”

Many poorer and less educated Americans are opting not to get married at all. They’re living together, and often raising kids together, but deciding not to tie the knot. And studies have shown these cohabiting relationships are less stablethan they used to be.

Fewer divorces, therefore, aren’t only bad news for matrimonial lawyers but a sign of America’s widening chasm of inequality. Marriage is becoming a more durable, but far more exclusive, institution."

 

 Cohabitating is bad not only because it is a sin....or to put it another way, the Lord has warned us against cohabitation because those unions are less stable.  They are more likely to break up and more likely to divorce if they do marry.  These relationships are more likely to be abusive.  And the unstable nature of these relationships is very unhealthy for the children produced in such relationships.  So this article which initially appeared to be good news is actually bad news, and is evidence of what our leaders have been warning us about for years....that Satan is attacking families.  

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While I believe there are devils I also believe a lot of people are just choosing to be wicked. To blame (not saying this is you)  the majority of bad choices on the sons of perdition is almost insulting. We are choosing to be wicked just as on the flip side when people are good we call them righteous. We don't mention the holy angels that protect them and influence them. I think people are just giving up and sin is easier than being righteous it seems. In this case marriage is starting to seem undesirable among the wicked, as wicked people also seem to let each other down.

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2 hours ago, Overwatch said:

While I believe there are devils I also believe a lot of people are just choosing to be wicked. To blame (not saying this is you)  the majority of bad choices on the sons of perdition is almost insulting. We are choosing to be wicked just as on the flip side when people are good we call them righteous. We don't mention the holy angels that protect them and influence them. I think people are just giving up and sin is easier than being righteous it seems. In this case marriage is starting to seem undesirable among the wicked, as wicked people also seem to let each other down.

 

2 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

A Bloomberg article headline states "Milennials are Causing the US Divorce Rate to Plummet".  On the surface, this seems like a good thing.  After all divorce is generally frowned upon, and our leaders have told is the family is under attack, so this is good news, right?  No, actually the headline is misleading.   Milennials and Gen X aren't getting divorced as often because they aren't getting married in the first place.  But they are cohabitating . . . 
 

 Cohabitating is bad not only because it is a sin....or to put it another way, the Lord has warned us against cohabitation because those unions are less stable.  They are more likely to break up and more likely to divorce if they do marry.  These relationships are more likely to be abusive.  And the unstable nature of these relationships is very unhealthy for the children produced in such relationships.  So this article which initially appeared to be good news is actually bad news, and is evidence of what our leaders have been warning us about for years....that Satan is attacking families.  

it does not always have to be the devil.
some marry or live together because they have no similarities.
deadly.

 


continue.
a misunderstanding, a wrong word, that's how it begins.
nerves go through, financial problems and already the matter comes to an end.
regrettable but inevitable.
The End

 

Initial education would be necessary.
before marriage!

 

Edited by goor_de

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3 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

A Bloomberg article headline states "Milennials are Causing the US Divorce Rate to Plummet".  On the surface, this seems like a good thing.  After all divorce is generally frowned upon, and our leaders have told is the family is under attack, so this is good news, right?  No, actually the headline is misleading.   Milennials and Gen X aren't getting divorced as often because they aren't getting married in the first place.  But they are cohabitating . . . 
 

 Cohabitating is bad not only because it is a sin....or to put it another way, the Lord has warned us against cohabitation because those unions are less stable.  They are more likely to break up and more likely to divorce if they do marry.  These relationships are more likely to be abusive.  And the unstable nature of these relationships is very unhealthy for the children produced in such relationships.  So this article which initially appeared to be good news is actually bad news, and is evidence of what our leaders have been warning us about for years....that Satan is attacking families.  

This comment reminds me very much of Elder Christofferson's April 2017 Conference address in which he stated:

Deseret News opinion editor Hal Boyd cited one example of the disservice inherent in staying silent. He noted that while the idea of marriage is still a matter of “intellectual debate” among elites in American society, marriage itself is not a matter of debate for them in practice. “‘Elites get and stay married and make sure their kids enjoy the benefits of stable marriage.’ … The problem, however, is that [they] tend not to preach what they practice.” They don’t want to “impose” on those who really could use their moral leadership, but “it is perhaps time for those with education and strong families to stop feigning neutrality and start preaching what they practice pertaining to marriage and parenting … [and] help their fellow Americans embrace it.”32

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For poorer people, marriage is about having a big wedding...which they cannot afford. I have talked to many investigators who are living together unmarried. We offer to provide a dignified wedding at the stake centre but this is rejected because it is not lavish.

Edited by Sunday21

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I should stress re wedding above, that we offer to have the Relief Society provide food. We are not stingy. The investigators are in the middle of the discussions. This is the point at which we lose them because you cannot be baptisedif you are cohabitating. I am often asked to come along for this discussion because I am a mature sister. Not once. Not once has anyone ever taken us up on the offer. I have prayed for guidance. This situation makes me cry. Not in front of anyone of course. 

Edited by Sunday21

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I did taxes for a year.  Something about the job that surprised me - I had the ability to marry people at the tax desk.  If a guy and girl came in who lived together but were not married - if they wanted to file jointly, they could (as long as they represented themselves as a committed couple).  That meant they were now locked into filing jointly forever, unless they went to a formal ajudicated legal divorce.  (Or separated and filed Married Filing Separately - which is only a good option if you like giving all your money to the government.)

Edited by NeuroTypical

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If I were not a church member, I too would probably not marry.  I probably wouldn't have kids either.  There are very few benefits for men in marriage.  If ever there was a divorce, it is usually the guy that gets screwed regardless of why the marriage broke up.  It would be far easier to not get married.  If things fall apart, you just move on, no ugly divorce.  you get to keep your stuff. etc.

Of course I am not that way.  I love my wife and kids and have no regrets about getting married.  I have a few regrets of how I was as a husband, but I can say I have learned much and hope I am a better person now.

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30 minutes ago, Lost Boy said:

If I were not a church member, I too would probably not marry.  I probably wouldn't have kids either.  There are very few benefits for men in marriage.  If ever there was a divorce, it is usually the guy that gets screwed regardless of why the marriage broke up.  It would be far easier to not get married.  If things fall apart, you just move on, no ugly divorce.  you get to keep your stuff. etc.

Of course I am not that way.  I love my wife and kids and have no regrets about getting married.  I have a few regrets of how I was as a husband, but I can say I have learned much and hope I am a better person now.

This is also probably a downfall of our civilization.  When children are had between two unmarried couples who live together there used to be a protection set there for children, and for the significant other.

Common-law marriage used to be something that enforced the laws of marriage upon those who cohabitated for a long enough period.  As times became more modern in the twentieth century we see the weakening of these laws where it isn't just time, but they have to either self identify as married or others perceive that they are married, rather than just being cohabitating for a long enough period to be considered sharing all their stuff and having children.

Under these old laws many who now simply "live" together would have been considered married and when separating, if one of the two individuals wanted to proceed with divorce they would have every right to ask for it.

Now that we've done away with the tooth and claw of it, what would have used to be called a common law marriage in many respects are no longer considered such.

There are still many that would not fall under those auspices today in how quick their relationships are, but there are many that would have if we hadn't defanged those laws to basically be useless in notation.

Of course, in those times, part of the protection of the children was to prevent many illegitimate children who have no basis of heritage at home, an issue which it seems no one really cares about anymore.

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48 minutes ago, Lost Boy said:

There are very few benefits for men in marriage. 

Not sure how anyone could consider this true...  Do you mean there are very few benefits for men in marriage, that they can't find outside of marriage?

 

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35 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Not sure how anyone could consider this true...  Do you mean there are very few benefits for men in marriage, that they can't find outside of marriage?

 

Yes, that is what I mean...  If you can find it outside of marriage, then it really isn't a benefit of marriage.

And if you aren't getting it in marriage then not being married is more of a benefit.. (speak for the worldly man that is).

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