The Wife Dilemma


HereAmISendMe
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So here's a question: my wife passed away a few months ago and I am engaged to a younger woman, with whom I am going to the Temple.  Here's the issue: when I do that, I will be sealed to two women.  I don't want to leave my first wife out in the cold, so to speak, nor do I wish to deny my fiancee an eternal marriage.

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Howdy!

You & your fiancé have the option of being 1) being seal in the temple, or 2) you can also have just a civil marriage in the temple.  Both are valid options, up to you and your fiancé to pray & talk about.    I know people who have taken both routes.  

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19 minutes ago, Just_A_Guy said:

Welcome!  At the risk of being overly pedantic, I would note that you have not explicitly posed any question here. ;) 

Fair enough.  I see that now.  The question is: will getting sealed to my fiancee tear me apart from my first wife?  She made me promise to move on after she passed, but we never discussed the whole two wives thing, i.e. how she'd feel about it?

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1 minute ago, Jane_Doe said:

Howdy!

You & your fiancé have the option of being 1) being seal in the temple, or 2) you can also have just a civil marriage in the temple.  Both are valid options, up to you and your fiancé to pray & talk about.    I know people who have taken both routes.  

And in the case of option #2, then my fiancee would have the opportunity to meet someone (not sure how that works, TBH) and be sealed at that point?

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6 minutes ago, HereAmISendMe said:

Fair enough.  I see that now.  The question is: will getting sealed to my fiancee tear me apart from my first wife?  She made me promise to move on after she passed, but we never discussed the whole two wives thing, i.e. how she'd feel about it?

I should think that would be primarily a matter of personalities.  I suppose the best approach would be to take it to the Lord like any other question.  Presumably He wouldn’t tell you to go forward with a temple sealing if it were contrary to the plan He had for you and your deceased wife.  

Edited by Just_A_Guy
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6 minutes ago, HereAmISendMe said:

And in the case of option #2, then my fiancee would have the opportunity to meet someone (not sure how that works, TBH) and be sealed at that point?

Haha, honestly we don't really understand much about the eternities or eternal families.  

It just gives people options.  The time I've most commonly seen it done is when it's a older widower and widow having a companionship marriage just for time.  My grandpa always refers to my deceased grandma as "my eternal companion", but was married to a widow in the DC temple for time as well.  She in turn refers to her deceased husband as "my eternal companion".  That arrangement was simply what they desired.

Edited by Jane_Doe
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2 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

Haha, honestly we don't really understand much about the eternities or eternal families.  

It just gives people options.  The time I've most commonly seen it done is when it's a older widower and widow having a companionship marriage just for time.  My grandpa always refers to my deceased grandma as "my eternal companion", but was married to a widow in the DC temple for time as well.  She in turn refers to her deceased husband as "my eternal companion".  

Yes, I will always consider my deceased wife to be my EC, but I love my fiancee.  I'm her first husband, so it's not as if she has an EC waiting for her.  JAG hit the nail on the head: it's a prayerful contemplation in the Temple type thing.

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Just now, HereAmISendMe said:

Yes, I will always consider my deceased wife to be my EC, but I love my fiancee.  I'm her first husband, so it's not as if she has an EC waiting for her.  JAG hit the nail on the head: it's a prayerful contemplation in the Temple type thing.

Totally!  Best of wishes and prayers for you and your family!

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Dallin H. Oakes married & is sealed to both women. So, yes, you can be sealed to your bride-to-be. You will have to make arrangements to do so in the temple, talk with your Bishop and make sure your bride to be has received her endowment before hand.

No, it won't leave wife #1 out in the *cold*, BUT it is my understanding that during the millennium, if she doesn't agree to have the 2nd wife in your family unit, then wife #1's wishes will be honored.

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Guest MormonGator
6 minutes ago, Iggy said:

 if she doesn't agree to have the 2nd wife in your family unit, then wife #1's wishes will be honored.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall for some of those conversations. 

Edited by MormonGator
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1 hour ago, zil said:

Can you imagine getting engaged within a few months of your wife's death?  Most people require years to recover from the loss of a spouse.  (3-5 years being the average.)

For some reason, this often doesn’t seem to be the case in the Church.  Then-elders Nelson and Oaks each remarried within two years of their first wives’ deaths.

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1 minute ago, Just_A_Guy said:

For some reason, this often doesn’t seem to be the case in the Church.  Then-elders Nelson and Oaks each remarried within two years of their first wives’ deaths.

2 years is still different from a few months.  I'm not saying anyone's wrong, per se, just that it's a bit surprising.  Someone else can worry about right and wrong in this case.

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Guest MormonGator
1 minute ago, Just_A_Guy said:

Ooh, that sounded creepy.  @zil, do you need help?   #escape

Escape? Who do you think sits in the tower with an M40 making sure that isn't possible? 
Hint-It ain't me or @LadyGator

Edited by MormonGator
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Guest MormonGator
3 minutes ago, zil said:

Who do you think reloads Gator's ammo? ;)

(Typed before I saw Gator's reply :lol: )

It's alright, we have to keep up with appearances. 

Add a few more sharks to the moat please while I'm thinking of it. 

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The goal in life is a celestial marriage.  To become like God.  God is a being of infinite love.  This includes both husband and wife.  You goal is to become beings of infinite love.

I could hardly imagine a first wife being selfish and still being considered a being of infinite love.

 

I might be wrong here, but my guess is that celestial love is going to be a bit different than you see on Earth.  Do you even have sex in the eternities?

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