Is anyone not close to their extended family?


Guest MormonGator
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I'm emotionally close to several of them, maybe many of them, depending on your definitions of "several" and "many" (and "close"). Only on my mother's side, though. On my father's side, I really only know the family of my dad's youngest sister, and at this point I'm only really close to one of those cousins (and her husband and their children).

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Guest LiterateParakeet

Nope.  My husband and I are like orphans not only in the sense that our parents have passed on, but because we are not close to our siblings, cousins, etc.  This is not by our choice, but whatever.   

On the other hand, my children are very close, and I hope their children will be close to their cousins.  

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Growing up, I have many memories of being around my cousins and visiting aunt and uncles frequently. I now only have 1 living aunt so those visits are rare. And, as we grew up, the cousin visits became few and far between. Usually, we see each other at the random family reunions or unfortunately, at funerals. My dad (his whole family lives in Bulgaria) is good friends with a cousin of my mom. My oldest brother keeps in close contact with another cousin. 

Facebook is a wonderful thing as I'm friends on there with many cousins, both here in America and Bulgaria. I feel at least connected to my cousins although we don't see each other often. But, I wouldn't say I'm close to my extended family (as far as I'm aware there are no bad feelings between us, certainly not on my side). 

 

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15 hours ago, MormonGator said:

I'm not asking people to bring up dark family secrets or anything, so without going into detail, are you close to your cousins? Aunts/Uncles? 

 

I have +30 aunts & uncles, and +50 first cousins.  Some of them I couldn't pick out of a line up.  Others I am close to.  It all depends on people's personalities and reaching out.  

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Guest MormonGator

I find it very fascinating when I see close families, because with only one exception, I'm not close to anyone in my extended family. Some I haven't spoken to in over a decade. Sadly, not because of estrangement or disagreements (though that is the case here or there), but mostly  just because we have such vastly different lifestyles. Oddly, I'm super close to my maternal grandmother and aunt on my moms side-I visit them weekly. 

I'm very close to my mom and dad and my sisters and to my in-laws. 

Edited by MormonGator
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When I was like five, my dad taught me how to make "wink-eye sandwiches".  You bite a hole in the bread, wink at someone through the hole, then stick the bread in a pan and cook an egg in the hole. 

I had totally forgotten this fact, until I was reminded of it by some random lady on Facebook I know absolutely nothing about.  Apparently she's a "cousin", which is something I had no clue existed on my dad's side of the family. 

My mom's side of the family is like Jane_Doe's.  There's one cousin I wish I was closer to, but, well, dark family secrets and all.

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Okay, see if you can follow this one:

We spent last Christmas season with my brother's wife's brother's ex-wife.

The Christmas before that was with my grandfather's brother's grandson.

The Christmas before that was with my grandfather's other brother's daughter who just happened to be exactly my age to the day.  My LDS husband is the godfather of her brother's child, who is Born Again.

My kids are sad that my aunt moved from only 3 hours away to Las Vegas - on the opposite side of the country - because they miss her cooking.  She's actually not my aunt by blood - she's my dad's sister's best friend.

Etc. etc. 

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1 hour ago, NeuroTypical said:

Heh - I get that.  We are very close with my wife's brother's ex-wife and her two kids.  Far closer than my wife's brother.

My brother's wife's brother passed away a couple years ago, he lived a mile from his ex-wife to be close to their kids.  Their daughter is my son's girlfriend.  They've known each other since they were born so it kinda felt incestuous and my son reminds us all the time they're not blood related.

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I am very close to my extended family. On my mother’s side there are 56 first cousins. Some of my Aunts and Uncles had very large families. One Uncle had 14 children. Another Aunt had 12 kids. It was crazy (in a good way) when we got together for Thanksgiving. We would reserve the church and meet in the cultural hall. This was all in the Northern California area around Sacramento. I was sad to move to Utah away from my cousins. But, by moving to Utah, I then had the opportunity to now get better acquainted with my father’s side of the family. I have about 35 first cousins on my father’s side. I’m close to most of them, but I didn’t bond with them as closely as my other cousins. I wonder if it was because I was a little older. Or, perhaps it was because we were still some distance apart. We lived in Southern Utah and they all lived up north.

After moving to Utah my mother would send me to stay with my aunts or uncles in Sacramento or Reno, NV for the summer. I loved staying with them. I never got homesick. I’m still very close and it has been hard to lose my aunts and uncles to death over the years. I grieve along with their children. 

I love FaceBook because it allows me a way to keep in contact with my extended family. It also allows a way for my cousin’s children to get to know me. At funerals, weddings, and reunions the younger generation know who I am because of FB. They aren’t afraid to come talk to their mother or father’s cousin because they know me through FB. I make positive comments on the photos thy share, etc. Some of them have come and stayed with me at my home. A little closer on the family tree, I have had different nephews live with me and my family for several months at a time. They know they are always welcome.

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I have family, then I have family.  Extended family, including half brothers and half sisters, I have a lot of.  We just don't talk.  No desire to.  Then closer family, mother sister, dad, etc., we just don't talk.  No desire to.

The joys of coming from an abusive family.  They had no concern for me as a kid, and I couldn't care less about any of them as an adult.

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On 10/27/2018 at 9:36 PM, MormonGator said:

I'm not asking people to bring up dark family secrets or anything, so without going into detail, are you close to your cousins? Aunts/Uncles?

I think you already know my history.

Why do you ask? (just wondering).

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