Marriage Tip For The Guys


Gwen
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...

MARRIAGE COUNSELING 101:

HAPPY WIFE

HAPPY LIFE

Bravo! That's what it all boils down to in the end.

On a humorous note, here's what I've learned in my 16 years of marriage:

1. A woman wants to be cherished. She wants to be loved and appreciated.

2. Women are generally self conscious. They probably look in the mirror and see a larger version of themselves.

3. Women played dress up with their Barbie dolls when they were young and still play dress up now only this time as Barbie.

4. Women are generally emotional, which makes them wonderful mothers and nurturers. This can backfire with man's ignorance and stupidity, bringing out a woman's scorn.

5. Women have very good memories and remember everything, so men, be careful arousing your wife's/girlfriend's scorn.

6. No matter how much she loves you, there are "certain times" each month that she will want to rip your eyes out with a fork and throw them on the ground and then stomp on them until there's nothing left.

7. A woman wants a strong man with a gentle hand.

8. A woman doesn't necessarily want to hear "I love you" as much as she wants to feel "I love you", see "I love you", or experience "I love you." So guys don't just say I love you, do the dishes without being nagged, buy her flowers without being asked, etc.

9. A woman, unlike a man, will not act stupid to get out of doing something. She'll make the man do it. (Though some women might act helpless).

10. Women hear better than men because they listen better than men.

And now for giggles:

What a woman says and what she means:

You want=You want

We need=I want

Do what you want=You're going to pay for this

We need to talk=I need to complain

I'm not upset=Of course I'm upset you moron!

I want new curtains=and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

Do you love me?=I want something/I'm going to ask for something expensive

Yes=No

No=No

Maybe=No

I don't want to talk about it=I'm still building up steam.

And there are only three problems that women endure that I know of with a certainty that begin with men:

1. Menstruation

2. Menopause

3. Mental breakdown

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bravo! That's what it all boils down to in the end.

On a humorous note, here's what I've learned in my 16 years of marriage:

1. A woman wants to be cherished. She wants to be loved and appreciated.

2. Women are generally self conscious. They probably look in the mirror and see a larger version of themselves.

3. Women played dress up with their Barbie dolls when they were young and still play dress up now only this time as Barbie.

4. Women are generally emotional, which makes them wonderful mothers and nurturers. This can backfire with man's ignorance and stupidity, bringing out a woman's scorn.

5. Women have very good memories and remember everything, so men, be careful arousing your wife's/girlfriend's scorn.

6. No matter how much she loves you, there are "certain times" each month that she will want to rip your eyes out with a fork and throw them on the ground and then stomp on them until there's nothing left.

7. A woman wants a strong man with a gentle hand.

8. A woman doesn't necessarily want to hear "I love you" as much as she wants to feel "I love you", see "I love you", or experience "I love you." So guys don't just say I love you, do the dishes without being nagged, buy her flowers without being asked, etc.

9. A woman, unlike a man, will not act stupid to get out of doing something. She'll make the man do it. (Though some women might act helpless).

10. Women hear better than men because they listen better than men.

And now for giggles:

What a woman says and what she means:

You want=You want

We need=I want

Do what you want=You're going to pay for this

We need to talk=I need to complain

I'm not upset=Of course I'm upset you moron!

I want new curtains=and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

Do you love me?=I want something/I'm going to ask for something expensive

Yes=No

No=No

Maybe=No

I don't want to talk about it=I'm still building up steam.

And there are only three problems that women endure that I know of with a certainty that begin with men:

1. Menstruation

2. Menopause

3. Mental breakdown

Absolutely true stem to stern!! Love it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bravo! That's what it all boils down to in the end.

On a humorous note, here's what I've learned in my 16 years of marriage:

1. A woman wants to be cherished. She wants to be loved and appreciated.

2. Women are generally self conscious. They probably look in the mirror and see a larger version of themselves.

3. Women played dress up with their Barbie dolls when they were young and still play dress up now only this time as Barbie.

4. Women are generally emotional, which makes them wonderful mothers and nurturers. This can backfire with man's ignorance and stupidity, bringing out a woman's scorn.

5. Women have very good memories and remember everything, so men, be careful arousing your wife's/girlfriend's scorn.

6. No matter how much she loves you, there are "certain times" each month that she will want to rip your eyes out with a fork and throw them on the ground and then stomp on them until there's nothing left.

7. A woman wants a strong man with a gentle hand.

8. A woman doesn't necessarily want to hear "I love you" as much as she wants to feel "I love you", see "I love you", or experience "I love you." So guys don't just say I love you, do the dishes without being nagged, buy her flowers without being asked, etc.

9. A woman, unlike a man, will not act stupid to get out of doing something. She'll make the man do it. (Though some women might act helpless).

10. Women hear better than men because they listen better than men.

And now for giggles:

What a woman says and what she means:

You want=You want

We need=I want

Do what you want=You're going to pay for this

We need to talk=I need to complain

I'm not upset=Of course I'm upset you moron!

I want new curtains=and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

Do you love me?=I want something/I'm going to ask for something expensive

Yes=No

No=No

Maybe=No

I don't want to talk about it=I'm still building up steam.

And there are only three problems that women endure that I know of with a certainty that begin with men:

1. Menstruation

2. Menopause

3. Mental breakdown

Oh, come on! Not all of us want to tear their eyes out! Some of us are meaner than that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share