baptism

[Tyme]

I want to be baptized the right way this time. That means I need to be as pure as possible.

I need to quit the following before I get baptized:

cigs, coffee, porn

Any advice or inspiration to help me quit all those things?

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Tyme said:

I want to be baptized the right way this time. That means I need to be as pure as possible.

I need to quit the following before I get baptized:

cigs, coffee, porn

Any advice or inspiration to help me quit all those things?

1) Tobacco.  Not really common knowledge, but nicotine is really about the most addictive drug on the planet.  It may not do as much physical or psychological damage as other drugs.  But in terms of difficulty to get off of it?  Few things can match it.  There was a program that someone developed a while back that involved the following:

• Extra Vitamin C.
• Lots of oral hygeine.
• Proper diet and exercise.
• Reminder signs.
• Recognizing "trigger" behaviors -- and how to deal with them.
• Recognizing the depletion-craving relationship and what you can do about it.
• Grapefruit Juice.

2) Coffee.  Try Cafix or Pero as substitutes.  Some people prefer Postum.  But I can't stand it.  Perhaps a mix of the two would work as well.  Remember that a caffiene addiction is about the easiest to have.   But it is also about the easiest to get rid of.

3) Porn.  That's a tough one.  But one major thing is to keep busy.  Be anxiously engaged in a good cause.  Be involved with a lot of people.  Be social.  I'd suggest doing a LOT of indexing (family history).

[Guest MormonGator]

1) Tobacco: Use an e-cig or vape to cut back on nicotine content but still give your body the sensation of smoking real cigarettes. It removes the negative chemicals in cigarette smoke with water vapor. Then, once you've cut back on nicotine, cut back on e-cigarettes/vaping. That's how I quit smoking-switching to e-cigarettes than throwing those away.It works wonders, many others have done what I did. 

2) Coffee is much harder because it's so much more acceptable in society. If I started off every morning with a belt of scotch instead of coffee , even non-LDS would tell me to get a grip. It's not so much the coffee-it's the caffeine. I'd switch to decaf than cut back on that, like I said with e-cigarettes. 

3) I never struggled with porn, so I can't help you with that one. What I will say though is porn "addiction" doesn't exist, except for .0000000000000001% of the population. 

[zil]

45 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

If I started off every morning with a belt of scotch

Belt of Scotch (duct tape):

[Tyme]

I think porn and coffee are going to be easy. It’s the cigs I’m worried about.

[Guest MormonGator]

Just now, Tyme said:

I think porn and coffee are going to be easy. It’s the cigs I’m worried about.

You are 100% correct. Some of the addicts I know who have quit hardcore drugs say quitting smoking was much more difficult. 

[Tyme]

Here goes nothing... I’m giving it all up when I run out of cigs today.

[Guest]

1 minute ago, Tyme said:

Here goes nothing... I’m giving it all up when I run out of cigs today.

If you'd like more explanation about that smoking program I spoke of, PM me.

[Guest MormonGator]

29 minutes ago, Tyme said:

Here goes nothing... I’m giving it all up when I run out of cigs today.

Good luck my friend. The hardest thing for me when I quit smoking was viewing myself as a non smoker. I had smoked cigarettes from age 16-24, and I quit right around that time. I didn't know how to act without smoking a cigarette, going out for a smoke break, smoking while driving, etc It's been over a decade since I've smoked regularly, and life as a non-smoker is so much better than life as a smoker. 

I chew gum almost 24/7. Basically when I'm not eating or drinking, I'm chewing gum. That might help you. 

[Tyme]

37 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Good luck my friend. The hardest thing for me when I quit smoking was viewing myself as a non smoker. I had smoked cigarettes from age 16-24, and I quit right around that time. I didn't know how to act without smoking a cigarette, going out for a smoke break, smoking while driving, etc It's been over a decade since I've smoked regularly, and life as a non-smoker is so much better than life as a smoker. 

I chew gum almost 24/7. Basically when I'm not eating or drinking, I'm chewing gum. That might help you. 

I’m going to be so happy when I quit. The problem is that cigs control you. They’re also gross and embarrassing.

[Guest MormonGator]

5 minutes ago, Tyme said:

I’m going to be so happy when I quit. The problem is that cigs control you. They’re also gross and embarrassing.

Just fight bro. You can win this. 

[Maureen]

3 hours ago, Tyme said:

I think porn and coffee are going to be easy. It’s the cigs I’m worried about.

You can check with your doctor. I'm sure he or she can provide you with a variety of ways to quit smoking.

M.

[Tyme]

I’m in a pit of despair. I lasted a whopping twenty hours without cigs. The blessings are too great not to quit. I have a pretty good understanding of the blessings. That really begs the question why I can’t quit. I hope one day I can quit so I can get baptized.

[anatess2]

32 minutes ago, Tyme said:

I’m in a pit of despair. I lasted a whopping twenty hours without cigs. The blessings are too great not to quit. I have a pretty good understanding of the blessings. That really begs the question why I can’t quit. I hope one day I can quit so I can get baptized.

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.  Be patient.  The spirit will eventually win out.  You just need to be patient with your body while it tries to purge itself of the chemicals.  Try vaping or the gum.

There's this comedy movie, can't remember anymore, where Gwyneth Paltrow helped her friend quit smoking by having gums with her.  Her friend got herself off the cigarettes successfully but it made Gwyneth addicted to the gum so Gwyneth started smoking to quit the gum.  It's supposed to be hilarious but I think there's a small amount of nicotine or whatever in the gum so your cravings doesn't get too sharp, so it's a slow process of de-chemicalizing so that eventually you wean yourself off the gum too.

P.S.  Disclaimer:  I know nothing about weaning out of cigarettes.  My husband is that odd breed with herculean willpower.  We were just friends working together to help Bosnian refugees when I told him I don't like to be around the smell of smoke so he told me right then and there that he's going to quit and he did.  Just quit cold turkey, just like that.  I may not know anything about weaning out of cigarettes but I know, at least, that that's not normal.

Edited November 14, 2018 by anatess2

[zil]

23 minutes ago, Tyme said:

I lasted a whopping twenty hours without cigs.

This is a fabulous accomplishment!  Now do it again - go another 20 hours.  Keep repeating that success until it's 21 hours, etc.  You can do this - as long as you don't give up.

29 minutes ago, Tyme said:

 That really begs the question why I can’t quit.

Maybe you missed the part above about how addictive nicotine is?  It's going to be hard.  You'll cave sometimes.  Since we know that, don't let it drag you to "a pit of despair", just quit again.  Help yourself out, and don't have cigarettes in your possession / at your home or work.  Avoid places that sell cigarettes - I know, that's practically everywhere, but reduce the frequency with which you need to go to such places - pay at the pump rather than inside, get groceries for 2 weeks rather than just 1, etc.  Help yourself out more and destroy whatever you haven't already smoked - crush them up, dowse them, and toss the mess into the trash.  The pain of the "wasted" money ought to help.  Alternately, consider that part of the expense of your addiction recovery.

30 minutes ago, Tyme said:

I hope one day I can quit so I can get baptized.

Don't say "I hope", say "I quit".  If you cave, say it again and start over.  Say it every day, all the time, any time you want to cave, say "No, I quit."  Pray constantly, repetitiously, morning, noon, and night.  Pray when you want to cave and give thanks each time you don't.  Prayer alone may not be enough - it may not even seem like it's helping - but that's because we're impatient.  Together with everything else, it will help.

Make yourself a plan that utilizes every tool available:

• Faith
• Medical help (e.g. the gum or patch and a schedule to ween yourself off these)
• Other health help - diet and exercise so your body feels as good as it can without the cigarettes
• Friends / family
• Make a budget and calculate the savings and what you'll do with it
• Plan rewards for success
• Behavior (avoiding the places and people that make it harder, substitution for the smoking, changing routines, recognizing stress and relieving it another way, etc.)
• If aversion works for you, go to the library and study the various nasty things that happen to smokers
• Whatever I'm missing

Will power alone isn't enough.  You need the plan, all the help you can get, and imagination (imagine yourself as someone who doesn't smoke, someone who doesn't cave to the temptations, someone who starts over if he does, etc.).  Imagination is at least as powerful as will, and generally more powerful.

Don't give up, start over.

[Guest MormonGator]

2 minutes ago, zil said:

Don't give up, start over.

Perfectly said. 

[zil]

1 minute ago, zil said:

Make yourself a plan

Well, and this may sound insane, but get yourself a little calendar, or a card with the year printed on it.  Mark each day you go without a cigarette.  Watch the pattern change from few marked days to more marked days.  It sounds absurd, but this actually helps in making habits, so I assume it will help in breaking one.  (Otherwise known as making a habit of not smoking.)

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Tyme said:

I’m in a pit of despair. I lasted a whopping twenty hours without cigs. The blessings are too great not to quit. I have a pretty good understanding of the blessings. That really begs the question why I can’t quit. I hope one day I can quit so I can get baptized.

First of all, it isn't an "addiction" if you can just quit at the drop of a hat.  And nicotine is probably the toughest to get over.

I sent you a link to the program.  A couple of things that the program described that I didn't see in the pdf.

1) As you go away from nicotine, the levels in your body strart decreasing.  The more it decreases, the greater the craving.  UNTIL>>> Once it finally reaches zero, the chemical/biological cravings go away completely.  Then you just have to address the other reasons you crave it.

2) Pavlovian response.  There are always going to be certain situations like "leaving someone's house" or "leaving work" or "watching tv" or whatever ... where you usually light up.  Even if your biological craving is gone, the HABIT that you've formed over many years kicks in.  You psychologically miss it at those times even if your body isn't craving it.

3) Mental awareness.  This is where the grapefruit juice or mouthwash really comes in handy.  By giving your body some powerful (but healthy) stimulus, your mental awareness kicks in an brings you out of the "habit" mindset.  It will also change your focus from "boy I really could use a drag right now." to "Man that is bitter"!  So, if you're drinking sweet grapefruit juice, that's not the way to go.  You want something healthy that is also a very strong "wake me up".  NOT COFFEE!!!

This is also why you want to put up signs in your normal places where you smoke or get cigarettes to remind you of your goal rather than the tobacco.

As I said before, different methods work for different people.  Keep trying.  Don't give up.

 

[Iggy]

On 11/13/2018 at 9:04 AM, MormonGator said:

1) Tobacco: Use an e-cig or vape to cut back on nicotine content but still give your body the sensation of smoking real cigarettes. It removes the negative chemicals in cigarette smoke with water vapor. Then, once you've cut back on nicotine, cut back on e-cigarettes/vaping. That's how I quit smoking-switching to e-cigarettes than throwing those away.It works wonders, many others have done what I did. 

2) Coffee is much harder because it's so much more acceptable in society. If I started off every morning with a belt of scotch instead of coffee , even non-LDS would tell me to get a grip. It's not so much the coffee-it's the caffeine. I'd switch to decaf than cut back on that, like I said with e-cigarettes. 
 

@Tyme I'm going to address the smoking. @MormonGator e-cigs or vaping is WORSE than smoking regular cigarettes.

Read why  https://www.webmd.com/lung-cancer/vaping-lung-cancer

Quote

 

Electronic cigarettes, or e-cigarettes, put nicotine into your lungs and bloodstream. And they do it without the smoke and tar of a regular cigarette. But other harmful things can get into your body when you vape. That's especially true if you use flavored cigarettes.

E-cigarettes, sometimes called vapes, run on batteries and heat up nicotine, flavorings, and other chemicals. They turn them into a vapor you can breathe in. Many chemicals that cause cancer are in this vapor. That includes formaldehyde, heavy metals, and particles that can get stuck in the deepest parts of your lungs.

 

@Tyme I smoked 1 to 1.5 packs of menthol cigarettes (menthol are the worst on the esophagus and lungs) for 29 years. Four times during those years I tried to stop by going cold turkey. Never lasted longer than about 18 hours. Finally, after losing 35 pounds and thinking that NOW I would be able to breathe better with that excess weight gone, imagine my shock and despair when after nearly falling to my knees after rushing up 22 stairs to get some products at work! Talking with a RN friend of mine about that, she suggested that I try one of the patch's for quitting smoking. I can't remember the brand name, only that it was the 3 patch program. Because I am so very susceptible to drugs, I started out with Patch 2. Was on that for the 6 weeks, then dropped down to Patch 3. Another girlfriend of mine had a partial pack of the Patch 3, it only had 6 patches instead of 7. By the time I used the last one, I realized that my craving for cigarettes was gone. Along with using the patches, I used carrot, celery and english cucumber sticks as substitutes for the cigarette holding hand to mouth habit.

I had learned the hard way to substitute a healthy habit when I quit drinking alcohol. I craved sugar then, and ate so much I gained 50 pounds in 5 months!

Also, I was told by the support group I joined through the Patch company that I would need to Clean Up my home of residual smoke/nicotine on the ceilings, walls, furniture & fabrics. Shortly after going on the patch, I spent two weeks scrubbing my 14' x 50' trailer house. From the ceilings to the floors. Didn't scrub the upholstered furniture or the carpets. Did take all the window coverings down and launder them as well as super scrubbing the windows. Also, the bathroom (where the washer & dryer were) was THE hardest to get clean of the nicotine. The tub/shower wall unit was so infused with the nicotine that it took a week of spraying pure bleach on the walls, closing the bathroom door with the exhaust fan on and stuffing a throw rug under the bottom door gap so that my cat and dog wouldn't get "gassed" to death! I would leave it on all day while I was at work. Then come home and rinse it all off. Then repeat & rinse for the full 7 days.

I scrubbed all the paneling, and the entire trailer was all that cheap paneling, with pine sol, TSP and HOT water. I could only do 8 foot wide section each day after work, and during the week ends I would do all of the cupboards and 1/4 of the wood furniture.

BUT once the smell of stale tobacco was gone when I entered a warm home (literally warm, as in 75-78 degrees), that trigger to smoke was eliminated.

The directions on the Patch said to spend less time in the rooms where you smoked the most, occupy the rooms where you didn't smoke more. Well for me, the only "room" I didn't smoke in was the clothes closet! I removed all of the ashtrays. Not just washed them up and put them in a cupboard - I removed them from the house. Gave them to the Salvation Army! When my then husband came home from working [he installed vinyl siding on homes and would be in another town/county for weeks at a time] I made him smoke out on the porch. He even turned the entertainment unit with the TV on it to face the window so he could still watch & hear the TV. He had to use cleaned out tuna cans for ashtrays since all of ours were gone.

Back then, the cost of the box of Patch 2 was the same as a carton of my cigarettes. By the end of the 6th week the cost of a carton of cigarettes had gone up $1.50, BUT the cost of the patch remained the same. For a year I kept tabs on the cost of the cigarettes - at on my one year anniversary of quitting, I had saved nearly $3,500.00!!! Of course I didn't subtract the cost of the patches - I wanted the saved dollar amount to be more.

It took me nearly 5 years to quit liking the smell of second hand smoke - the wafting coming from someone walking by, or who stood too close to the doorway of the store where I was a cashier at.

Now, after 19 years, that smell is repugnant and offensive to me. When a heavy smoker walks by me they stink so bad. Want to know what you smell like @Tyme? Dump your full of cigarette ashes and butts ashtray BUT don't wipe it out or wash it. Add a bit of HOT water then smell it. Yep, that is EXACTLY what you smell like. After smoking all day and NOT brushing your teeth & mouth after your lunch, then you talk to someone, THAT is EXACTLY what your breath smells like.

Had someone told me that around the second or third time I was trying to quit, believe me, I would have tried much, much harder to quit and stay smoke free. I have always detested smelling bad. Showered twice a day, used deodorant multiple times during the day. NEVER wore my work clothes twice in a row, etc., etc., etc.

Now @Tyme let's talk about the cessation of coffee. YES it is the caffeine that is a true addiction. Going off of it - all of it [soda drinks that are packed with caffeine, root beer that has caffeine in it, power drinks that are packed with caffeine AND high fructose content, tea,  even Hot Chocolate] not just coffee. To ease the intensity of the withdrawal headaches, drink half caffeinated coffee with half decaf. One large tin of each mixed into a much larger container. Then when that is empty, mix a small container of caffeinated coffee with a large container of decaff. By the time that is empty, your addiction should be ended. At least with me it was.

I had been drinking coffee since I was 5 years old. Half cup of coffee with half cup of milk. Every three years the amount of coffee increased by 1/4 of a cup until I was drinking black coffee. My entire family of 11 people were coffee drinkers. Us children had a coffee cup at every meal AFTER we drank our 8oz of milk. Us kids didn't even hear about the LDS church until my oldest brother was 15 (I was 7 and the middle of 7 children). ALL of us kids drank their first cup of half coffee half milk/cream at the age of 5.

We only drank tea in the form of iced tea and only during the summer. We drank hot coffee year round, and iced coffee in the summer also. LOVE iced coffee.

I am not fond of hot chocolate, never have been. I love quite a few of the herbal infusions, BUT one must be very careful of mixing them. I drink tepid coffee. My Stake Presidency and Branch Presidency know this and they sign my temple recommend. I also prefer Pero over all of the other "Coffee" substitutes. It took me several years to get the right amount per coffee mug - too much is nasty, too little is nearly as nasty. I drink them all black w/splenda.

One thing I learned from a dear friend who is a recovering alcoholic is, you MUST trade a bad habit with a good, healthy habit. Doesn't need to be a good, healthy food - just a good, healthy habit. Along with using carrot, celery and cucumber sticks as substitutes, I kept my hands busy with writing in a journal. Then super busy writing letters to my friends that 1st Husband tried to keep me from.

@Carborendum in 2006 I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. One of the things that my Dr wanted me to reduce was my drinking carbonated drinks (they dehydrate your body) and caffeine drinks (which also dehydrate your body). I complained about needing the Wake Me Up of caffeine and she told me that 8 oz of UN-sweetened Apple juice will do the same as three 6oz cups of coffee! Guess what? She was right.

After going off of carbonated drinks, and NOT quitting the caffeine- I got severe cramps in my feet and legs, then in the muscles of my lower back and abdomen. Often all at the same time, like around 2-3 am! The only thing to ease/stop the cramps was drinking electrolyte drink. Mix 1 quart water; 1/2 teaspoon baking soda; 1/2 teaspoon table salt; 3 to 4 tablespoons sugar [real sugar NOT any of the substitutes]. This does NOT store well for longer than 12 hours. I also add about 1 tablespoon or more of crystallized lemon or lime juice for flavor. BUT to know when you no longer need to drink it and to drink PLAIN water, don't add the flavoring. When you can taste the salty sweet, that is when you no longer need it.

I had come back into activity a year before I quit smoking, so that when I went on the patch, and felt I was getting close to buying another pack of cigs - I would call my HT and Branch President and request a blessing. They always came through, and those many, many blessing also came through. I never slid back into smoking. I also had the mindset of Not Setting Myself Up To Fail.

Like some of the others have said, if you back slide, pick yourself up and quit again!

[zil]

13 minutes ago, Iggy said:

Also, I was told by the support group I joined through the Patch company that I would need to Clean Up my home of residual smoke/nicotine on the ceilings, walls, furniture & fabrics. Shortly after going on the patch, I spent two weeks scrubbing my 14' x 50' trailer house. From the ceilings to the floors. Didn't scrub the upholstered furniture or the carpets. Did take all the window coverings down and launder them as well as super scrubbing the windows. Also, the bathroom (where the washer & dryer were) was THE hardest to get clean of the nicotine. The tub/shower wall unit was so infused with the nicotine that it took a week of spraying pure bleach on the walls, closing the bathroom door with the exhaust fan on and stuffing a throw rug under the bottom door gap so that my cat and dog wouldn't get "gassed" to death! I would leave it on all day while I was at work. Then come home and rinse it all off. Then repeat & rinse for the full 7 days.

I scrubbed all the paneling, and the entire trailer was all that cheap paneling, with pine sol, TSP and HOT water. I could only do 8 foot wide section each day after work, and during the week ends I would do all of the cupboards and 1/4 of the wood furniture.

BUT once the smell of stale tobacco was gone when I entered a warm home (literally warm, as in 75-78 degrees), that trigger to smoke was eliminated.

Wow!  @Tyme, do this, and you won't have time to smoke!

[Guest MormonGator]

25 minutes ago, Iggy said:

@Tyme I'm going to address the smoking. @MormonGator e-cigs or vaping is WORSE than smoking regular cigarettes.

 

They worked incredibly well for many of us who used them to quit smoking-and don't use them either. Whatever gets you to quit smoking cigarettes is generally a good thing. 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/electronic-cigarettes-good-news-bad-news-2016072510010

And e-cigarttes aren't perfect but they are actually less lethal than real cigarettes because they don't produce tar. 

Edited November 14, 2018 by MormonGator

[Maureen]

13 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

They worked incredibly well for many of us who used them to quit smoking-and don't use them either. Whatever gets you to quit smoking cigarettes is generally a good thing. 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/electronic-cigarettes-good-news-bad-news-2016072510010

And e-cigarttes aren't perfect but they are actually less lethal than real cigarettes because they don't produce tar. 

My son-in-law quit smoking with the help of e-cigarettes.

M.

[Guest MormonGator]

5 minutes ago, Maureen said:

My son-in-law quit smoking with the help of e-cigarettes.

M.

Many people have. I'm not saying they are healthy and I wouldn't recommend using them unless you are trying to quit smoking real cigarettes, but they've worked for many people. The movement to ban vaping and e-cigarettes is gravely concerning to me. 

[Guest]

44 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Many people have. I'm not saying they are healthy and I wouldn't recommend using them unless you are trying to quit smoking real cigarettes, but they've worked for many people. The movement to ban vaping and e-cigarettes is gravely concerning to me. 

They're actually trying to ban menthol cigarettes now.  We'll soon see a world where marijuana is legal and menthol is illegal.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Iggy said:

@Tyme I'm going to address the smoking.

...

 

Like some of the others have said, if you back slide, pick yourself up and quit again!

@Tyme,

I don't think anyone else's advice will cary as much weight as someone who has been there and done that.  Certainly listen to Iggy.