Stacey Harkey comes out


Fether
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I had a nasty feeling that the original Studio C cast’s separation from BYU preceded some or all of them visibly breaking with Church standards to some degree.  It’ll be interesting to see if Harkey plans to uphold the Church’s teachings on the Law of Chastity.  Time will tell, but from the article’s quotations . . . I’m thinking “no”.

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Wait, people didn't know that?  C'mon, guys.  It was obvious he was gay.  Seriously?  No one noticed?  Am I really the only one?

Tell me that others knew that pretty much the entire cast is pretty liberal in their politics.  Please tell me that was pretty obvious to people.

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In my not so humble opinion, this can only be a beneficial move if the homosexual shares the fact that they have those temptations and tendencies and does not associate them with who they choose to be.

Acceptance and tolerance of homosexuality in the Church should basically extend to the following type of conversation:

John:  Hey Stacey, you thinking of settling down anytime soon?  Any prospects?

Stacey:  Thanks for asking, John. I just don't think its part of the plan for me right now; I'm homosexual, so it's hard for me to experience enough attraction to be able to provide the type of relationship most women need.

John:  Well, Stacey, I hear you; you're a good man. I'm grateful to have you as a brother in God; you're faith and strength to keep God's commandments sets a much needed example and inspires me.  Thank you.

Stacey:  I appreciate that; It's all part of the day to day for me though.

Aside from that, encouraging youth who suffer from these temptations to be open and honest about them with their families and priesthood leaders, and to know that they are loved and accepted, and that through Christ they can live their lives in righteousness and with great spiritual strength.

Accepting the 'homosexual community' means only removing the stigma from the fact that such a temptation exists, it will never mean embracing what is a temptation as a righteous attribute.

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1 hour ago, Just_A_Guy said:

I had a nasty feeling that the original Studio C cast’s separation from BYU preceded some or all of them visibly breaking with Church standards to some degree.  It’ll be interesting to see if Harkey plans to uphold the Church’s teachings on the Law of Chastity.  Time will tell, but from the article’s quotations . . . I’m thinking “no”.

I didn’t get this vibe when I read it the first time, but I guess one could assume he was breaking himself from the church

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46 minutes ago, mikbone said:

I wonder if this ad will be pulled.

I know that one can uphold the standards if they are gay & celibate.

But I have never heard of anyone “coming out” as celibate...

I highly doubt they will pull it just because someone in it is homosexual. If he denounces the church then ya, I could see them pulling it. But he hasn’t done anything wrong yet (as far as we know at least).

and as for theist part, it’s true, no one comes out celibate. For me it is a tough subject and I do t have any strong opinions or advice on how to counsel people with homosexual tendencies. They need to live the law of chastity, but as for specific applications I personally don’t know. there have been tons of “face of Latter-day Saint homosexual”s that have come and gone due to deciding to no longer “hide who they are”. I don’t know of any homosexual saint that has stayed celibate or happily married in a heterosexual relationship.

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5 minutes ago, Fether said:

I didn’t get this vibe when I read it the first time, but I guess one could assume he was breaking himself from the church

Here’s the million-dollar quote:

It was the sweetest feeling and it taught me that God expects me to be who he made me to be and expects me to develop myself and magnify who I am.

How, I wonder, does a gay person be who he was “made to” be and “develop” and “magnify” who he is, any differently than a straight person would?

For most of the people who talk like this, the answer tends to be “sex”.

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Just now, Just_A_Guy said:

Here’s the million-dollar quote:

It was the sweetest feeling and it taught me that God expects me to be who he made me to be and expects me to develop myself and magnify who I am.

How, I wonder, does a gay person be who he was “made to” be and “develop” and “magnify” who he is, any differently than a straight person would?

For most of the people who talk like this, the answer tends to be “sex”.

I’ll freely admit that this is just naivety  on my part, but I saw it more as a realization that he needed to stop denying he was having those feelings and that he needed to stop putting a wall between his homosexual tendencies and who he was. To stop letting his homosexual feelings define how he sees himself.

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2 minutes ago, Fether said:

I’ll freely admit that this is just naivety  on my part, but I saw it more as a realization that he needed to stop denying he was having those feelings and that he needed to stop putting a wall between his homosexual tendencies and who he was. To stop letting his homosexual feelings define how he sees himself.

Maybe.  Time will tell, of course.  

But I wonder—if a pedophile “came out” using the exact language Harkey does—how would we react?  Would we take his language as a commitment and covenant to keep his sexual urges in check?

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Just now, Just_A_Guy said:

Maybe.  Time will tell, of course.  

But I wonder—if a pedophile “came out” using the exact language Harkey does—how would we react?  Would we take his language as a commitment and covenant to keep his sexual urges in check?

Great point. 

I do have a worry that Saints, homo and heterosexual will naturally start looking to him as an example of how a homosexual saint ought to live. There have been so many times that our “poster boy” has failed us.

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44 minutes ago, Fether said:

 I don’t know of any homosexual saint that has stayed celibate or happily married in a heterosexual relationship.

I do.  There are probably a lot more of them out there than you may realize. 

I knew a wonderful organist (he has now passed on) who stayed celibate and followed the law of chastity from all that I am aware of him.  He never married. 

There are others, but most of them do not feel the need to broadcast their personal lives (so I probably should not either). 

It is possible and doable, just like it is possible and doable for some who is a heterosexual who never has the chance to get married to remain chaste and obedient to the law of Chastity as well. 

The world would like to convince us otherwise today, but the world's way is not the Lord's way, and with the Lord all things are possible.

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2 hours ago, Just_A_Guy said:

I had a nasty feeling that the original Studio C cast’s separation from BYU preceded some or all of them visibly breaking with Church standards to some degree.  It’ll be interesting to see if Harkey plans to uphold the Church’s teachings on the Law of Chastity.  Time will tell, but from the article’s quotations . . . I’m thinking “no”.

Has there been incidents of this?  I was not aware of these items occurring.

I'm not a Studio C fan so probably out of the loop on this.

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6 minutes ago, JohnsonJones said:

Has there been incidents of this?  I was not aware of these items occurring.

I'm not a Studio C fan so probably out of the loop on this.

No, but . . . suffice it to say, I doubt Harkey’s the only gay Studio C cast member.  And I don’t think there’s anything they’re doing with JK Studios that couldn’t have been done via BYUTV.

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1 hour ago, Just_A_Guy said:

Here’s the million-dollar quote:

It was the sweetest feeling and it taught me that God expects me to be who he made me to be and expects me to develop myself and magnify who I am.

How, I wonder, does a gay person be who he was “made to” be and “develop” and “magnify” who he is, any differently than a straight person would?

For most of the people who talk like this, the answer tends to be “sex”.

And the preceding part is worth at least 2 mill: "This part of myself that I’ve spent my whole life fighting isn’t my enemy. This part of myself that I’ve shoved into a dark dungeon deserves light."

What the what?!

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1 hour ago, Just_A_Guy said:

I don’t think there’s anything they’re doing with JK Studios that couldn’t have been done via BYUTV.

I have had this thought too. I know they have some ambitious plans to start their own network, to pull from the actors they met while on BYUtv to make online series. Perhaps they also thought they could make more money running there own gig on the YouTube scene? 

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9 hours ago, person0 said:

In my not so humble opinion, this can only be a beneficial move if the homosexual shares the fact that they have those temptations and tendencies and does not associate them with who they choose to be.

Quote

I'm not ashamed of who I am.

 -- Stacey Harkey

Why is this always part of coming out or being "gay and proud"?  Alternate versions include "true to myself" or "be who I'm meant to be."

"Homosexual" or "heterosexual" is not "Who I am" any more than "180 lbs."  It's a trait. It's a descriptor. But "who I am"?

"Who I am" is a child of God.  So is Stacey.  Why is that never the focus?

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9 hours ago, The Folk Prophet said:

And the preceding part is worth at least 2 mill: "This part of myself that I’ve spent my whole life fighting isn’t my enemy. This part of myself that I’ve shoved into a dark dungeon deserves light."

What the what?!

Like I said. He didn't shove it down too far.  It was pretty obvious as far as I could tell.  A couple of the other guys?  Possibly.  But Stacey was pretty obvious.

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9 hours ago, The Folk Prophet said:

And the preceding part is worth at least 2 mill: "This part of myself that I’ve spent my whole life fighting isn’t my enemy. This part of myself that I’ve shoved into a dark dungeon deserves light."

What the what?!

 

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

Why is this always part of coming out or being "gay and proud"?  Alternate versions include "true to myself" or "be who I'm meant to be."

"Homosexual" or "heterosexual" is not "Who I am" any more than "180 lbs."  It's a trait. It's a descriptor. But "who I am"?

"Who I am" is a child of God.  So is Stacey.  Why is that never the focus?

Reading this thread has given me some answers to those questions. 

There's been talk on here before about the problem of suicidal thoughts and actions among LDS youth, especially in Utah, who struggle with their sexual identity. They hide it and stuff that part of themselves into a "dark dungeon" because of, well, responses like this. FWIW, I believe Stacey when he says that he came out to show those youth that they're not alone. I imagine he's probably endured his own fair share of depression and other dark thoughts (that's what I got out of the "dark dungeon" remark). Better for him (and others) to be open (and not ashamed) about his differences and hope that his fellow LDS can still find it within themselves to treat him like a "child of God". Based on his statement, I have no doubt that he still sees that in himself. 

Overall, I truly believe that the Church's approach towards LGBT members has improved, at least from an institutional standpoint. Culturally, based on what I've seen (not just here, mind you), there's still some work to be done. I'm encouraged by the responses I've seen from younger LDS faithful, including some very hardcore LDS family members. There seems to be a generational attitude shift in regard to LGBT issues, and I'm hopeful that over time perhaps the rift between the two communities will shrink a bit. 

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30 minutes ago, Godless said:

There seems to be a generational attitude shift in regard to LGBT issues, and I'm hopeful that over time perhaps the rift between the two communities will shrink a bit. 

If you mean the new generation now thinks having homosexual sex and even marriage is not only normal but moral, then yes.  You are right.  Hooray to the LGBT+++ movement who has now successfully achieved such status.

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4 minutes ago, Godless said:

They hide it and stuff that part of themselves into a "dark dungeon" because of, well, responses like this.

There's nothing hateful or condemnatory of his struggle with homosexuality itself here. There's condemnation of the "embrace the natural man" attitude displayed along-side it, and full support for the idea that he should focus more on who he actually is -- a child of God -- in his messaging.

4 minutes ago, Godless said:

FWIW, I believe Stacey when he says that he came out to show those youth that they're not alone.

Which by itself would be commendable if he didn't add all the "my gayness is beautiful" style garbage. I commend the effort to help youth.

It'd be like me sharing that I struggled with the temptation to view pornographic images and sharing that with other so they didn't feel that they were alone in their similar struggle but then I start waxing poetic about how my desire to watch other random people engage in explicit sex acts wasn't my enemy, I needed to stop fighting against it, it was a how God made me, and I need to embrace the "real" me -- with nary a mention that I needed to abstain despite the natural man (who actually, scripturally, IS an enemy to God).

Inject any other struggle we have and the problem becomes obvious.

"I'm coming out as an alcoholic because I've realized it's a sweet and wonderful integral part of who I am and it's not my enemy."

"I'm coming out as a someone with a temper because I've realized it's a sweet and wonderful integral part of who I am and it's not my enemy."

"I'm coming out as an thief because I've realized it's a sweet and wonderful integral part of who I am and it's not my enemy."

"I'm coming out as an adulterer because I've realized it's a sweet and wonderful integral part of who I am and it's not my enemy."

"I'm coming out as an pedophile because I've realized it's a sweet and wonderful integral part of who I am and it's not my enemy."

Except these things are our enemy and they are not sweet and wonderful and they are not "integral" to who we really are.

The hope is that one would actually share the gospel's message. "I have such-n-such temptation to sin, like others do, and I'm sharing this so they don't feel alone in this, but it does not define me, I choose not to act upon it, and I trust in the Lord that as I obey His commandments He will bless me and help me to be more like Him every day. You, like myself, can be strong and faithful, relying wholly upon the merits of Christ, and as you and I do, I know we can be blessed with His strength and Spirit to obey His commandments and remain faithful to Him despite our natural struggles."

This is the message I want to see. Not embracing the natural struggle as if it is a beautiful, God-made-me-this-way-so-it-can't-be-bad, wonderful thing that not only shouldn't be put off, but should actually be embraced.

If a humble, faith affirming, obedience centered, putting-off the natural man, don't label yourself, you are children of God, trust in Him, keep up the good fight message accompanied His decision to share his struggles with the youth then I'd have nothing but praise.

24 minutes ago, Godless said:

a "child of God". Based on his statement, I have no doubt that he still sees that in himself. 

I certainly hope so. Of course the only mention of God is that he believes God expects him to magnify his gayness.

26 minutes ago, Godless said:

Overall, I truly believe that the Church's approach towards LGBT members has improved, at least from an institutional standpoint.

It's a work in progress I think.

26 minutes ago, Godless said:

Culturally, based on what I've seen (not just here, mind you), there's still some work to be done.

Sure. But that work to be done is not abandoning plain gospel truths like the need to put off the natural man.

27 minutes ago, Godless said:

I'm encouraged by the responses I've seen from younger LDS faithful, including some very hardcore LDS family members.

I'd be more encouraged if the responses I've seen were more put off the natural man instead of embracing it coupled with the good efforts to not overly shame ourselves for our weaknesses.

28 minutes ago, Godless said:

There seems to be a generational attitude shift in regard to LGBT issues, and I'm hopeful that over time perhaps the rift between the two communities will shrink a bit.

If the LGBT crowd would stop pressing it as if it were wholesome then I expect that might be possible. Unfortunately the solution to any problem cannot be to embrace things that are not true.

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I have a friend from Church who is gay.  He lives celibate, has a calling, etc.  He "came out" publicly to our gaming group a couple years ago but had already told me about it a few years before that.  

I once mentioned him to a gay co-worker and my coworker said "what a shame he has to suppress who he truly is to be a part of your church."  That comment bothered me a little at the time he said it, but the more I thought about it the more horrible I realized that comment is.

My friend never, ever expresses his thoughts about same-sex attraction as being "who he truly is."  He's already being who he truly is... a faithful son of Heavenly Father who is doing his best, under very difficult challenges, to be obedient and pure.  I know he stumbles sometimes, as we all do, but he's still at church and still enduring to the end.  My friend is being exactly who he wants to be and how DARE that co-worker or anyone else cheapen that by making it seem like whom a person wants to have sex with ought to be their most important defining characteristic!

Frankly, I admire my friend.  I don't think I'd have the level of strength and self-control he does were I in his place.  

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1 hour ago, Godless said:

because of, well, responses like this.

Wait, so I am the one who points out that Stacey is a Child of God.  And that will cause people to have suicidal thoughts? 

You probably weren't thinking along those lines, but that is exactly what you said.  Do you want to modify that a bit or at least explain what you meant by "responses like this"?

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