Fake Noise

[mikbone]

I purchased a 2015 Ford F-150 a few years ago and while I was doing my test drive and review of the truck, I noticed that the car had impressive power with the new aluminum body and the EcoBoost engine. It was reasonably quiet until you pushed on the throttle and then the turbo would kick in and you could really hear it growl.  When I listened to the engine with the windows open though, it sounded different.  I did some research and found out that the engine sound is mostly electronic and pumped in from the speakers!  

The rise of fake engine noise

The new trucks were significantly more efficient, powerful, and quicker than the prior models.  But curiously, when they did performance testing with the customers, all the reviews were positive, except for the disappointing power.  This totally dumbfounded the engineers, as they had definitive data proving that the new trucks were significantly more powerful.  They realized that it might be because the engine was quieter.  So they pumped in fake engine speaker noise that corresponded to the accelerator and turbo use, and the next customer testing was completely different.  Everyone loved the new truck and couldn’t believe how much more powerful that they were…

Since I like to hear my family and music, I asked the salesman if there was a way to turn off the fake sound.  He was totally unaware that the engine noise was fake, and promised that he would investigate the issue.  Couple days later - "nope, not possible to turn it off - or even modify it."  He also mentioned that he had to make quite a few calls to find out the information, because no one in town had issues with or even noticed the new electronic ‘feature’.

Well this got my ire up. But I really liked the power and comfort of the truck, so I went to the local car audio store and asked the salesman if he had any options to remedy the fake noise.  After doing some research - the answer was no.  But, he could get rid of the garbage stock audio system in the truck.  He explained that Ford and most car manufactures used the lowest quality components and tweak the sound with the equalizer to create a reasonable sound environment.  He showed me the options for higher quality speakers, sub-woofer, and amplifier, etc.  And he had a showroom to display the difference.  I was sold, with the thumping bass. He also stated that in a year or so they would come out with a in-dash kit that would allow me to make some upgrades and permanently remove the fake engine noise.  I said fine, do it. 

When I went to pick up my truck the sound system was glorious.  I turned up the volume / bass, and and the rear-view mirror began to rattle.  It was awesome, until the turbo kicked in.  The fake noise was even worse!  It was ridiculous.  So, I avoided using the turbo unless absolutely necessary, or if I was trying to impress someone with the fake noise.  Eventually the in-dash kit arrived, and we were able to disable the fake noise ‘feature’ and incorporate a new a head unit.  The fake noise is now gone and I love it.  You can hear the real engine now, and it sounds fine to me.  And, I know that it is real. 

 

Anyway, this made me consider, how much fake noise are we exposed to in our everyday lives that we don't even recognize.  And I may give a Church Talk on the topic some day.

So I made a list of some the fake noises that I dislike, feel free to add to it.  

1) Cosmetic plastic surgery - you know what I’m talking about.  It is getting totally out of control.  Vaginal rejuvenation - Really???  Pectoralis implants for men?  Who thinks of these things?

2) Deception in advertising - I have a B.S. in nutrition so when I see a jar of peanut butter listed as cholesterol free I go nuts.  All plant foods are cholesterol free!  Same thing with low fat 5 lbs tub of licorice.  Weight loss products.  Candy boxes at the movie theater.  100% Juice Pomegranate (fine print - 99% juice other than pomegranate) Arrgh!

3) Padding of resume or tinder / mutual account (Daughter in BYU).

4) Cheating in sports with performance enhancing drugs. 

5) Creative pricing and special deal - 2 for 1 items.  Every time I check out at Costco, I have to chuck out a few items because I only want a half-dozen bagels or muffins. 

6) Online pictures.  Perfect selfies.  Photoshop.

7) Lying to get a Temple Recommend. 

Edited January 16, 2019 by mikbone

[Jamie123]

I've read somewhere that in WW2 German dive bombers (Stukas, as they were called) had speakers on them to produce the characteristic "diving" noise (the natural noise of the aircraft wings vibrating being considered not alarming enough) to cause alarm and panic on the ground.

As for fake noise on cars, there is nothing spookier (I find) than these newfangled electric cars that move silently and put you in hospital before you even realize they're coming. OK, the same could be said of milk floats, but the thing about milk floats is (i) they travel slowly and (ii) you can hear the milk bottles clattering in the crates. More fake noise on electric cars would be a good thing.

[mikbone]

3 hours ago, Jamie123 said:

I've read somewhere that in WW2 German dive bombers (Stukas, as they were called) had speakers on them to produce the characteristic "diving" noise (the natural noise of the aircraft wings vibrating being considered not alarming enough) to cause alarm and panic on the ground.

As for fake noise on cars, there is nothing spookier (I find) than these newfangled electric cars that move silently and put you in hospital before you even realize they're coming. OK, the same could be said of milk floats, but the thing about milk floats is (i) they travel slowly and (ii) you can hear the milk bottles clattering in the crates. More fake noise on electric cars would be a good thing.

I had to look up Milk float.  Thanks. 

And the silent e- car comment reminded me of one of the hilarious ‘The office’ episodes.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Duel_(The_Office)

In the parking lot, Andy has not shown up for the duel, instead leaving a deliberately verbose note hanging in the bushes saying he has given up. As Dwight reads it, Andy sneaks up behind him in his Toyota Prius, a hybrid car that remains completely silent when driven below five miles per hour due to the electric motor. Impressed by Andy's deviousness, the rest of the office does not warn Dwight, saying that Andy "deserves the win". Andy pins Dwight between the car and the large bushes in the parking lot

 

[NeuroTypical]

Oh wow.  This is a pretty amazing thing.

I'm sitting in an office building that has piped in 'white noise'.  Didn't even realize until the power went out and the whole building sounded like an empty factory converted into office space (because that's what it is).  To be honest, the white noise in an office environment rocks.  Helps mute adjacent conversations and drown out otherwise annoying or distracting sounds.  But yeah, it's basically fake noise pretending to be something that isn't there.

[anatess2]

Fake News.  They're everywhere.  There's even a reddit sub dedicated to correcting them.

[Jamie123]

1 hour ago, mikbone said:

I had to look up Milk float.  Thanks. 

And the silent e- car comment reminded me of one of the hilarious ‘The office’ episodes.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Duel_(The_Office)

In the parking lot, Andy has not shown up for the duel, instead leaving a deliberately verbose note hanging in the bushes saying he has given up. As Dwight reads it, Andy sneaks up behind him in his Toyota Prius, a hybrid car that remains completely silent when driven below five miles per hour due to the electric motor. Impressed by Andy's deviousness, the rest of the office does not warn Dwight, saying that Andy "deserves the win". Andy pins Dwight between the car and the large bushes in the parking lot

 

Interesting - that's the first time I've ever seen the US version of "The Office" - it looks even crazier than the British one!

In the British "Office" the manager is David Brent, played by Ricky Gervais. I find him quite funny, but my wife totally hates him. So I always refer to him as "your favourite man".

People I refer to as "your favourite man" when talking to my wife:

• David Brent/Ricky Gervais
• Ricky Tomlinson
• John McCrirrik
• Donald Trump

(The last one annoys her the most!)

Edited January 16, 2019 by Jamie123

[e-eye]

On 1/16/2019 at 9:20 AM, Jamie123 said:

Interesting - that's the first time I've ever seen the US version of "The Office" - it looks even crazier than the British one!

In the British "Office" the manager is David Brent, played by Ricky Gervais. I find him quite funny, but my wife totally hates him. So I always refer to him as "your favourite man".

People I refer to as "your favourite man" when talking to my wife:

• David Brent/Ricky Gervais
• Ricky Tomlinson
• John McCrirrik
• Donald Trump

(The last one annoys her the most!)

You have never watched The Office -American style.  One of the best comedies ever written.  I actually envy you a little because of all the potential binge worthy watching you could do.  My wife and I watch the series over every few years - I don't do that with other series.  

[Colirio]

You forgot to mention the artificial aromas! 

 

Many of the "cooking food" smells that emanate from restaurants are artificially produced with the intention of making you hungry. 

http://www.aromacent.com/foodsales.php