Been a year since my life was turned upside down


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It was about a year ago that I found out that my wife had had an emotional affair.  The affair was with a coworker that lasted about a year and a half and comprised about 15k messages between them, many lunch and dinner dates, gifts, etc.  It was never physical beyond a hug every now and then, but towards the end of their relationship she decided that he is her Twin Flame.

It took several weeks for her to tell me the extent of what happened and also me reading all of the messages.  That was the lowest point in my life.  The hurt lasted for months.  I had seriously contemplated divorce.

But after a lot of prayer and soul searching, I was told to love her and forgive her.  That was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I wanted the pain to go away.  I was near non-functioning.  I was seriously confused and lost.  

Looking back I can clearly see how the spirit guided me in what to do.  I consider it a miracle in my life.  The hurt is all gone.  The love is back. I hear a lot of people say that you can never trust again.  I don't think that is the case.  I think through forgiveness you can.  

Our relationship is certainly not the same as it was.  I think in a lot of ways it is better.  Better communication, better caring for each other, I think better love.  I think the man upstairs has some mysterious/miraculous ways.

The crazy part is I am sure that had I gotten divorced, I would be a much much much unhappier person today.

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1 minute ago, Lost Boy said:

Our relationship is certainly not the same as it was.  I think in a lot of ways it is better.  Better communication, better caring for each other, I think better love.  I think the man upstairs has some mysterious/miraculous ways.

This is the most amazing thing I have read today.  Thank you Lost Boy for your inspiration.  You are not Lost Boy anymore.  We need to find you a new name to celebrate the beginning of the rest of your life.  Here's hoping the next chapters are lots and lots of peace and tranquility.

 

1 minute ago, Lost Boy said:

The crazy part is I am sure that had I gotten divorced, I would be a much much much unhappier person today.

And she would be too.  And that would be such a drag in the fulfillment of your covenant to love her as much as you love yourself.  You guys are an everyday miracle and I pray that all people struggling with their marriages will follow the same path you took.  The path of forgiveness.

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@Lost Boy your post reminded me of the lesson I taught in Priesthood last week, based on Elder Brough's talk from the Saturday morning session of General Conference last October. I think for the purposes of this post, here is the key sentence from his talk:

To help us travel and triumph over our hard times with such glimpses of eternity, may I suggest two things. We must face hard things, first, by forgiving others and, second, by giving ourselves to Heavenly Father.

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8 hours ago, askandanswer said:

@Lost Boy your post reminded me of the lesson I taught in Priesthood last week, based on Elder Brough's talk from the Saturday morning session of General Conference last October. I think for the purposes of this post, here is the key sentence from his talk:

To help us travel and triumph over our hard times with such glimpses of eternity, may I suggest two things. We must face hard things, first, by forgiving others and, second, by giving ourselves to Heavenly Father.

I absolutely believe this is true, but I would never ever ask for the hard times.  It truly sucks.  That said I learned more about God's love last year than probably any year prior.  I have a far better understanding of what people go through during heartbreak.  It is absolutely disorienting.  You really don't know what to do.  For me it was as if I was taken by the hand and shown what to do for my relationship.  It certainly was not my doing.

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