Non-member waiting for a missionary

[Ryan]

Hi i’m Ryan and I was just and needed some advice. I am a former member of the church and there is this girl that I was dating and about 3 months ago she left on a mission. I was just curious since I am not a member anymore if I should wait since from what I hear at least that LDS members don’t want to date non- lds members as you cannot reach the highest degree of glory. And If that is true should I wait or is it a disservice to her?

[Just_A_Guy]

Hello Ryan, and welcome!

Theologically, yes; the Church’s position is that “celestial marriage”—characterized by having been solemnized in an LDS temple and the parties thereafter living true to their marital vows and other church covenants for the rest of their lives—is a prerequisite for “exaltation”, or the highest possible state of existence in the eternities.  If a temple marriage and living a Mormon lifestyle isn’t compatible with your beliefs and future plans, then yeah; that poses quandary for your friend that she’s going to have to resolve one way or another.  

I don’t know that I would presume to say that your waiting for her would be doing her a “disservice”—she’s a grown woman and, I presume, can make up her own mind.  (Did she specifically ask you to wait for her?)

But member or nonmember, I think “waiting” for a missionary is generally a sub-optimal life plan.  It’s very heart-warming and romantic when it works out; but my experience is that only works out 10-20% of the time.

Edited January 26, 2019 by Just_A_Guy

[Jane_Doe]

3 hours ago, Ryan said:

Hi i’m Ryan and I was just and needed some advice. I am a former member of the church and there is this girl that I was dating and about 3 months ago she left on a mission. I was just curious since I am not a member anymore if I should wait since from what I hear at least that LDS members don’t want to date non- lds members as you cannot reach the highest degree of glory. And If that is true should I wait or is it a disservice to her?

Hi @Ryan

I would advise ANYONE against waiting for a missionary.  Go and live your life, and allow her to do the same.  When she gets back, if you two are interested, you can start dating then.

Edited January 26, 2019 by Jane_Doe

[Latter-Day Marriage]

This is something you should have both talked through before she left.  Is she that serious about you?  If she didn't ask you to wait I would assume she isn't that committed to the relationship at this point and may just see you as a possibility.  if you happen to become an active member.  She is clearly committed to her faith so you need to do some soul searching on that front I think, but don't link being active in the church with your relationship with her.  If you decide to become active, it has to be real, even if she leaves you.

[pwrfrk]

Please forgive me if I read this thread wrong....

But If you are returning to the church for a woman, it's a bad mix altogether.  If you come back you do so because you know the church is true.

 

[clwnuke]

Ryan, I would focus your life on two things:

1. Do everything you can to have the influence of the Holy Spirit in your life. Grow as close to your Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ as possible. Find a way, all ways, and any way to eliminate anything and everything from your life that is separating or distracting you from the influence of the Holy Ghost. 

2. Follow all the promptings you receive and begin serving those immediately around you with love and without judgement.

If you do those two things, you will most certainly receive heavenly guidance on what you should do in this situation as you sincerely seek it. God wants you to have joy, and His road map is the best one to follow to receive a fullness of it.

May God bless you as you ponder!