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Aish HaTorah

Are LDS Mothers as Crazy as Jewish Mothers?!

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I'm just curious...

I think most Jewish parenting can be neatly summed up with two words:  Worrying and Anxiousness

 

It's true!  I could probably also throw in a little passive aggressive and carefully selected wording to everything they say.  Especially Jewish mothers.

The following is a letter I found some time ago.  I did not write it, but I think is wonderfully sums up how it is to grow up with and then leave the home of a Jewish mother.  It is called "A Letter From a Jewish Mother to Her Son on Chanukah...

 

Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,

 

Happy Chanukah to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine.  Considering I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. G-d knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.

 

Thank you so much for the birthday flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me -- we buried your Grandfather last week. I know he died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral, so your uncle Mordecai and I dug him up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come. I bet she's never even watched that videotape I sent you of my hemorrhoid surgery, has she?

 

Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me. I'm also getting used to the cold since they turned my heat off and am grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now don't you even think about sending any more money, because I know you need it for those expensive family vacations you take every year that I'm never invited to go on. Give my love to my darling grand-babies and my regards to whatever-her-name-is -- the one with the black roots and blonde highlights who stole you from my bosom.

 

Happy Chanukah,

Mother

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My mom is a Southern Baptist and she is crazy. Although, she wasn't overly possessive of me the way Jewish mothers stereotypically are but that's probably because I am her daughter. She has never let my brother go. 

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