Emmanuel Goldstein

April 2019 Conference Predictions

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On 3/4/2019 at 1:30 PM, MormonGator said:

Very cool. Thanks. 

You know, one other thought that just occurred to me:  a number of child sex abuse cases against the Church have made much of the fact that the perp was a “high priest” or the child’s “home teacher”. Obviously, within the Church we know that those titles don’t mean a whole lot—especially to a kid—but outside of the Church, they sound like a Big Deal.  The new practice will subject new High Priests to a lot more vetting, and being abused by a “‘ministering brother” maybe doesn’t evoke the same cachet of a power imbalance to a non-LDS judge and jury as being abused by a “home teacher”.  

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1 hour ago, james12 said:

I've heard some talk that missionaries will be able to pick the length of their mission anywhere from 18 to 24 months. Guess we'll see. 

You're back!

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By the way:

(•_•)
<)   )╯Two
/    \

\(•_•)
(   (> Hour
/    \

 (•_•)
<)   )>  Block
/    \

 

(Stole this from another happy predictor.)

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On 2/17/2019 at 7:50 PM, zil said:

The first session will start with prayer and the last session will end with prayer.  Whether any other prayers will be said in between, I'm not going to guess.  There will be singing, talks, and some sustaining.  Something will be announced.  No fewer than 5 people will take notes with fountain pens.

Can we get the names of the 5 deviants? These things should be reported.

Edited by Sunday21

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I have an issue with many of the rumors floating around right now.  First,  I always ask if this is something that would be announced at conference or sent out via a letter to leadership or to the general membership. This would include to me the following if they were to occur: 

Wearing the Garment only in the Temple (don't believe this one at all). 

Re-organizing Stake so only Stake Presidency, High Council and Relief Society are present on the Stake level (don't believe this either). 

Changing the service length of missionaries to 18 months or increasing length of Sister Missionaries call to 24 months. (could be, but it would be a letter with information on when this occurs and which missionaries would be given the opportunity to extend if they want). 

Allowing Sisters to be in the Sunday School Presidency and Men to serve in the Primary Presidency (could be again, but a letter is more likely than in General Conference). 

These if addressed could come out in General Conference. 

Changes to the Word of Wisdom (I don't see coffee and tea going away but a stronger stance taken on the Word of Wisdom for health sake and addressing things like vaping) 

Increase in Temples (this will most likely continue and perhaps look for another one in the Salt Lake Valley). 

Most important prediction is that we prepare this week, seek the Holy Ghost in prayer and receive revelation from the talks given on what the Savior would have us focus on individually, as families in following the Savior more, becoming more like Him.  I hope we each may have the spiritual experiences we seek and need to deepen our commitment and conversion to our Savior and Father in Heaven.  I predict I will walk away inspired, lifted, full of revelations and ready to go for the next six months. 

 

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7 hours ago, GapperJ said:

(could be, but it would be a letter with information on when this occurs and which missionaries would be given the opportunity to extend if they want). 

I've generally seen the letters that accompany these big announcement arrive within a few hours of the announcement in General Conference.  These things, it turns out, are pretty well correlated.  So I wouldn't put much stock in "what's appropriate for an announcement and what's appropriate for a letter."

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9 minutes ago, Traveler said:

I have heard that if someone has credit card debt they will be denied a temple recommend.  Also if they are obese - in voilation of the WofW (in excess of 15% of their ideal weight).

 

The Traveler

Then they might as well just close down half of the temples for non use.

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54 minutes ago, Traveler said:

I have heard that if someone has credit card debt they will be denied a temple recommend.  Also if they are obese - in voilation of the WofW (in excess of 15% of their ideal weight).

 I heard that avoiding refined sugar will be added to the Word of Wisdom.

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11 minutes ago, Vort said:

 I heard that avoiding refined sugar will be added to the Word of Wisdom.

So... 

We won't be allowed to avoid it? 

🤔

🍦 🍪 🍰 🍫 🍭 🍩 

 

Then let me be the first for October 2019 announcements: 

The church will no longer manufacturing garments in size "small." 

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I would like to see callings like bishop, stake president, GA, mission presidents extended to married couples instead of just the dude.

I don't like that bishop's families have to sit in the congregation without their husband / father.  

And the spouse gets dragged into the callings anyway.

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-The Church will take a firmer stance on abortion.   Or at least have a speaker give a serious talk on the subject.  I am amazed at how little we hear about abortion from the brethren.  Baby killing is a big deal.

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On 2/17/2019 at 5:26 PM, Fether said:

Worship bands to be formed in every ward

See you had me until this last one, that's where you started going into fantasy land.

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Not sure we'll have any temples announced after having 12 just last October, but how is that the Columbus Ohio Temple District, one of the super-small temples (10,700  sq feet) from 1999, includes Columbus, Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Pittsburgh? That's four major cities all feeding into one of the smallest temples. Akron, Dayton, and Charleston (WV) also feed into that district. That blows my mind. 

Also, there are 10 stakes alone in the city of Santa Cruz, Bolivia. They're a part of the Cochabama Bolivia Temple District, which has 36 stakes and 8 districts. Next time we have temples announced, I'd say there's a good chance one of those two areas gets the nod. 

Edited by ldsguy422

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This isn't a prediction, this is an actual real live thing that is actually really happening, for realsies!

Screen capture from LDS.org  --> Donations  --> Settings:

image.png.df58ef1556c2b4cacf4b8d0476f6b1f1.png

 

Auto deposit for reimbursement checks!  Please everyone who gets reimbursed, go sign up for this.

Old process:
- Spend money
- Submit expense report
- Finance clerk prints check
- Finance clerk tracks down bishopric member to sign check
- Finance clerk tries hard to put a face to the name, awkwardly ending up asking random people in the hall "who is this?"
- You get check.
- You take check and lose it.
- Finance clerk gets contacted by busybody Stake clerk who is reviewing my monthly report, demanding to know why member X hasn't deposited her reimbursement check for $12.67 for the goldfish crackers she bought for the nursery.
- Finance clerk has to figure out who you are again, find you, and ask you to deposit your check.
- 2 weeks go by, repeat last 2 steps.
- Finance clerk voids old check, issues new check, repeating all those steps in the middle.

New process:
- Spend money
- Submit expense report
Related image

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Seems like the Lord was encouraging the leadership to keep it to a minimum this time. Let the bishops catch up. Or maybe they knew the one change (aside from new temples) would be all the membership could handle this time around. 

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