Just for Fun: Work Peeves!


unixknight
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Sometimes I like to reminisce about my days as an auto mechanic.  I miss it at times, because it's very satisfying to hear the sound of an engine start and run after it had to be dragged in on the back of a flatbed truck.  At the same time, I don't miss it, because well...

Everybody knows your job better than you do.  Everybody.

  • A customer once brought in his car because there was a mild grinding noise coming from the brakes.  I pulled all 4 wheels off and inspected them, and realized that it was just a bit of rust gathering on the discs/drums.  We'd had some wet weather recently and that sort of thing happens all the time.  It's a very common issue.  There's really no need to do anything, since the rust will naturally be scraped off by the action of the brakes.  I went into the customer waiting area to deliver the good news.  The customer's response:  "Well I've owned several cars in my life, and this has never happened to me before.  It's not a common problem."  Oh, really?  How many cars have you owned?  A dozen?  How many cars do you think I see in a single week?  Maybe, and I know this is crazy... But maybe I have a better sense of what's normal than you do.  I know... crazy, right?  I mean, if you want to pay me to resurface your discs and drums for no reason, and then have the exact same problem next time it rains I can sure do that for ya.  And that'll be $120 per axle.  

 

  • A customer once had his car towed in because the rear brake calipers were seized.  (Super common problem on certain GM models in the early - mid 90s.)  We recommended replacing the calipers, because the caliper pins, made of steel, were nigh impossible to release without damaging the caliper.  The replacement parts used neoprene pins which eliminated the problem entirely.  Of course, this customer, being an engineer of some kind, absolutely insisted that we could free the pins by heating the metal.  Well, technically that is true, but 1. that weakens the metal, making it more brittle.  That what you want in your braking system, Einstein?  Second, just replacing the pins meant putting steel ones back in, meaning the problem WILL reoccur.  But what did we know?  Mr. EngineerTM  wasn't having any of that.  So I spent the next 3 hours with a gas torch and an air hammer trying to get these stupid pins out.  Even the shop manager came in to help.  Ultimately, we were able to replace the pins on one caliper, but not the other.  So Genius customer agreed to buy just one caliper.  Guess who came back in 6 months later with a seized caliper on one side, exactly as we predicted?  

 

  • Before I was under the hood I sold car parts, and one day a customer came in, angrily accusing us of having sold him a bad battery.  "What's the problem?"  I asked?  Knowing already what the problem was.  "I bought this piece of junk battery after my old one died.  It worked fine at first, but after about 3 or four trips, it died too.  I WANT A REFUND!"  I tested the battery, (after recharging it) and it was fine.  I explained to him that he needed to get his alternator checked, and that it was probably the problem.  I was, of course, accused of trying to rip him off by selling him something he didn't need.  I explained to him that the alternator is what supplies electrical power when a car is running, and also recharges the battery.  You can run a car on just battery power for a while, but with a bad alternator you'll eventually drain the battery and be stuck again."  He didn't like that answer.  "You mean to tell me the car can run without a battery in it????"  Yes, you doorknob.  "Yes." I told him.  "Once the engine is running the battery is just along for the ride."  He didn't believe me, of course, since it meant not only that his angry tirade was for nothing, but now he was going to have to buy an alternator, too.  My manager arrived and backed me up, and the customer left with a new alternator.  

Every single customer assumes you're going to lie to them and rip them off.  

  • I once had a customer come in to get new brake pads.  I replaced them, and I resurfaced the rotors.  Now, it's important to note here that "resurfacing" means to put the metal disc on a lathe to cut the surface to ensure that it's flat, uniform and consistent.  This can only be done on a rotor that's physically thick enough.  Every state has legal regulations for how thin a rotor can get before it can't be legally resurfaced again.  The reason for this is that brakes work by converting mechanical energy into heat energy, and when there isn't enough metal left, the brakes will overheat and fail.  I warned this customer that the rotors were very thin, and there was barely enough metal left to resurface them.  She would definitely need new rotors next time she got brakes.  Fine.  Fast forward about a year and a half.  She comes back, brakes worn down again.  (A year and a half?  This woman must drive with a lead foot!)  The pads were under warranty so they'd be replaced for free but... Now those rotors are no longer serviceable.  By law, I could only replace them.  Not only could I not resurface them again, they had worn down below the minimum width.  There was no way for me to legally work on these brakes as they were.  I explained to  her that the rotors needed to be replaced, and I  offered her a discounted price.  *kaboom*  Well that's when she decided the whole brake warranty thing was a scam, I was ripping her off, the rotors should be given for free, yadda yadda yada.  Nevermind that I was bound, by law, to not just slap new pads on and let the car go.  Nevermind that I had warned her this was going to be an issue.  None of that mattered.  Eventually she calmed enough to buy the rotors, but she never came back.  (Epilogue:  A year later my wife and I were dining at a restaurant and I recognized our waitress as this woman.  I don't know if she recognized me.  She probably did and spat in my food.)

 

  •  I once had a friend who was getting married, and asked me to be one of the ushers.  As we were all in the car to go get fitted for tuxes, his father (the best man) started in on me about how dishonest mechanics were.  "I beg your pardon?"  He elaborated:  "Well I've seen mechanics say that a job will take x number of hours, but then I see them in half that tie outside smoking a cigarette.  They should only charge you for the amount of time it takes."  I was so taken aback I didn't formulate my rebuttal until much later.  For the moment, all I could think to do was to explain to him the flat rate system, which is the system by which repairs are estimated and mechanics are paid in many (but not all) shops.  Flat rate means that a particular repair is estimated to take a particular amount of time, which is found in a flat  rate manual published by the auto manufacturers.  For example, in those days, a front brake job, including new pads, resurfacing the rotors, greasing the caliper pins and road test was listed at 2.5 hours.  That assumes no unusual problems like broken bolts, excessive corrosion, etc.    So a mechanic gets paid 2.5 hours to perform the job.  If he takes 4 hours to do it, he gets paid 2.5 hours.  If he takes an hour and a half, he gets paid  2.5 hours.  So as you can see, it's a system whereby the more experience you have, the faster you can accomplish the job at the appropriate level of quality.  That's an incentive to not drag your feet.  My friend's father wasn't having that.  "If it only takes an hour and a half, then you should only  get paid an hour and a half!!!!"  Oh really, Einstein?  Let's think about that for a minute.  The flat rate system means everybody gets paid the same for a fixed level of work done.  It means every customer gets charged the same for a fixed level of work done.  By your reasoning, a mechanic who had years of experience and is more efficient than the average should be paid less, and a brand new tech who has never touched a car before should be paid for all 5 of the hours it would take him to do the  job.  Oh, but then again, the experienced mechanic might just take 5 hours too, since you're paying him for the time he actually takes...   Protip:  Mechanics do not stand there and take cigarette breaks to burn up the clock.  If I took 1.5 hours to do a 2.5 hour brake job, I'd be bringing in the next car, not just sitting on my hands.  

(Disclaimer:  I do not believe that people are dumb for not knowing how cars work.  Cars are incredibly complex and intricate masterpieces of human ingenuity, and of course we aren't born with the knowledge.  Where I get irritated is people who pretend to posses greater knowledge than they do.)

What are YOUR pet peeves at your job?  Got any fun stories?

Edited by unixknight
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-We had a mechanic once that saw we just needed a small hose replaced. He just charged us for his time and supplied the hose for free. $15 bucks.

-Another time a different mechanic saw that we just needed a belt tightened and he did not even charge us.

Most home town mechanics I have met are just awesome.

Edited by Emmanuel Goldstein
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*If you leave food out overnight in my work space, I will either set it in the main area (if I think it can be left out overnight) or immediately dispose of it (if it should have been refrigerated but wasn't). Just because my work space doesn't normally get used during the day shift doesn't mean that it doesn't get used. 

*Please leave my packing supplies and other material relating to the postage and delivery of product alone. They're where they need to be so that I can get them and get everything together so everything can go to the post office in the morning. 

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“Your honor, my client does not do drugs, and his toddler’s positive hair test for meth is attributable to their druggie roommate.  And furthermore, your honor, my client and his toddler don’t even *LIVE* in that house; only the roommate does!”

 

 

Ummm . . .

Edited by Just_A_Guy
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2 hours ago, Just_A_Guy said:

“Your honor, my client does not do drugs, and his toddler’s positive hair test for meth is attributable to their druggie roommate.  And furthermore, your honor, my client and his toddler don’t even *LIVE* in that house; only the roommate does!”

 

 

Ummm . . .

Waitaminute....I don't ever remember being in a court hearing with you...

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6 hours ago, unixknight said:

Everybody knows your job better than you do.  Everybody.

I work on highway construction projects, and trust me, everyone knows how to build the road better, even if they have no knowledge or experience.  Everyone will tell you about how the construction is taking too long, how bad the traffic control is, how much extra money the project is costing taxpayers, etc.

If you don't fix the road, a mob will tell you how bad everyone working indirectly or directly for the highway department is and if you do fix the road a mob will tell you that it was a waste of money and the road didn't need fixing in the first place.  

 

Edited by Scott
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Guest Godless

"Do you have Yuengling?"

No.

"Why don't you have Yuengling?"

Because they hate Texas or something.

"When will you have Yuengling?"

When they start sending it here.

"Where can I get Yuengling?"

Louisiana.

"Is there anywhere in town that sells Yuengling?"

Please stop.

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On 2/21/2019 at 2:33 PM, unixknight said:

Sometimes I like to reminisce about my days as an auto mechanic. 

More related to you than to me --  I left my car in front of a friend's house (actually, the house I used to live in when I first joined this board) while she drove us to Nauvoo. When we came back, she had to go to the store, so she just dropped me off at my car and left. Long story short, the car was acting strange, I couldn't get it up to speed, but was able to get it to the dealer, which happened to be nearby. Squirrels had eaten my wires!!  While I went to the Temple!  I guess I was lucky; it was only a $300 repair and not the $10,000 repair the guy told me he had done on another car. Maybe that's 'cause I was at the Temple?   I dunno. You'd think I'd get a Temple blessing so it would be at least $500 so it would be covered by my deductible.  :D

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I was working at a company that had 90% of the market share and so true to form the company  was sold to a company that did not know how to maintain the market share by any other means than to buy out the competitors.   It was about 2 and 1/2 years later that the company's new CEO called a all hands meeting.  There had been a economic downturn and the CEO was informing us that we were going to have to downsize to save the company.  15% of the engineers would have to be laid off and that all other engineers would have to take a 10% cut in pay.  Management would take a 25% cut in pay and he was going to take a 40% cut himself.  He then informed us that the company would show a loss of 650 million and that we finally would be able to operate moving on with a profit and fully recover.  Then he made the dumbest mistake of all and asked if anyone had any questions.  Of course I raise my hand and he called on me.

I explained that for over 4 years the company had not lost a dime on any project we had taken on - that the company engineers had consistently made a profit for the company with downturns and uptakes in the market.  I assured both the CEO and all in the room that the engineers were not the problem concerning any loses - I had personally bid or knew about all the projects the company was doing - that we already were properly sized as far as engineers and work was concerned.  I went on to explain that during the previous year management bought one of our competitors without proper due diligence and that when the purchase took place that the Wall Street Journal ran an article that the company we bought was in debt for an interesting amount of 650 million.  I also pointed out that in last years statements our CEO and other top management types received bonuses of over 2 million on average a peace - even though you all caused the loss in buying company ABC.  That his salary of $350,000 a year minus a 40 percent cut is not a sacrifice to save the company if all this was so he could get his five mil bonun for this year that would be paid on the backs of engineers being laid off and with salary decreases.  And so my question is - why don't you all in upper management agree here and now to give up your bonuses this year for running the company into debt and then downsize management to right size the company?

It should be no surprise that the once successful company in 5 years went from a 90% market share a 15% market share - even though the management never missed their bonuses.  And today the once great company no longer exists.   Most of the engineers found other places to work but none ever made up for the management mistakes.  When I was offered to join the company I was given options to purchase $80,000 in stock  with a 25% discount (the stock has risen steadily for 10 years and if the trend continued that I could make as much as $250,000 for a non-taxable retirement account) - but the stock tanked before I could exercise my option under the new management that took over 2 years after I joined - the stock options would not go into effect until I had been with the company for 5 years.  Yah, it was perfect timing.

 

The Traveler

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