Do I Have to Forgive my Unfaithful Spouse?

[Third Hour]

This article is the third in a series on infidelity in marriage and how to heal. Here are the links to Part I, Your Spouse Cheated, Now What? and Part II, The Two Sides of Marital Infidelity.  In my experience working with marriages rocked by a partner’s adultery, I see patterns. Emotions, expectations, questions, and struggles that show up time after time. The most frequent pattern among Latter-day Saint couples in this circumstance involves a cheating spouse who confesses to priesthood authority, undergoes a disciplinary council, “faces the music” so to speak, and goes through (or is going through) the steps to have their blessings restored to them. In case after case, they feel they’ve done the work to be forgiven and can’t understand why their partner can’t “just let it go.” The Lord has forgiven me, they reason, so why can’t my spouse? For the betrayed partner, the wrestle may be with themselves, seeing the logic of their spouse’s argument and not knowing why they struggle to forgive. Or...

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[pwrfrk]

It's about love, it's about trust, it's about a lot of pain in being lied to and cheated on. 

Must one forgive?  Yes, the bible is very clear about that.  We must forgive, it is God whom can choose.

But then there's this thing about love, about the trust that was destroyed, and the emotional grief one has knowing that for whatever reason, they weren't good enough for their spouse, even though it was for a short time.