unixknight

Eroding Friendships

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8 hours ago, Lost Boy said:

I have a hard time feeling bad for the old man.  I am very much anti abortion, but I am also very much pro civility and the old man was certainly not being civil and essentially tried to cause an accident.  Of course I don't stand behind the moron that was kicking the old man either.

The old and the young acting like children...

You think that simply having a sign on a public sidewalk in front of a PUBLIC place of business is "being rude"?  And you believe this somehow lessens the crime the abortion supporter committed?

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2 hours ago, Mores said:

Calculators provide a utilitarian benefit with few to no adverse consequences.  Social media has so many negative consequences with few actual benefits, I wonder why people stay on them at all.  While I have a Facebook account, I rarely get on there unless I have a specific purpose in mind.  Then I'm off of it for weeks at a time.  I truly don't understand the benefit or the attraction.

The bolded is silly.  The Church communicates through social media, including missionaries.  General Conference is now broadcast live over social media.  And.... tat-tada... you are talking to me on social media.  

By the way, Facebook is so.... five minutes ago.  If you have a Facebook account, you're considered an online "dinosaur".  I'm only on it because my family - which is scattered across 5 continents - uses it as our primary source of communication.  Gone are the days of the telephone tree in my family, desperately seeking telephone call cards to be able to long-distance-call the branch in one city that will then tell everybody else in the city via free local calls... then finding more call cards to be able to call another branch in another city.  Today, my uncle sent an invite to a family meeting that happened just 2 hours ago attended by family in Australia, 4 states in the USA, London, and 2 islands in the Philippines.... complete with video.  Yesterday, my friend in the ward held a business event for her new Maskara business (it's gotten to be a thing with my Church friends) attended by her... gah, I don't remember the term they call it... make-up consultant or something... from another state where she "color matched" foundation for people over video.  A few days ago, we learned a woman in our ward was rushed to the hospital to remove a tumor on her brain so we quickly organized compassionate service through our RS Facebook group within a few minutes, the Scouts and the Young Men who had activities that day were able to adjust their programs to account for her kids' absence as they were assigned responsiblities, within a few hours.  So yeay Facebook, as crappy as you are, you are quite useful.

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2 hours ago, anatess2 said:

The bolded is silly. 

Is it? ...

2 hours ago, anatess2 said:

The Church communicates through social media, including missionaries.  General Conference is now broadcast live over social media.  And.... tat-tada... you are talking to me on social media. 

I'm not saying it has no utility.  I'm saying that it has no benefit.  The difference is that I could eat a potato to get my potassium or I could eat broccoli.  But if I find that potatoes also have a toxin that comes with it, why would I eat a potato?  Eat the broccoli.

All the uses of social media can EASILY be done by other means that have no such negative side effects.  So, why subject yourself to it?

I realize humans are creatures of habit.  But all I ever hear is how messed up it is.  And yet, people never choose to simply walk away from it.  Really easy solution.  But it just doesn't occur to anyone because they are convinced that they "NEED" it.  I don't get it.

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11 minutes ago, Mores said:

But it just doesn't occur to anyone because they are convinced that they "NEED" it.  I don't get it.

In a word: dopamine.

Companies like Facebook invest a LOT of money into understanding the psychology of its users and how to maximize clicks, likes and attention.  They even have specific time delays built into some of the functions to  maximize the impact on your nervous system by working around the time it takes for a dopamine hit in your brain to take effect.  It really is psychologically addicting.  

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15 minutes ago, Mores said:

Is it? ...

I'm not saying it has no utility.  I'm saying that it has no benefit.  The difference is that I could eat a potato to get my potassium or I could eat broccoli.  But if I find that potatoes also have a toxin that comes with it, why would I eat a potato?  Eat the broccoli.

All the uses of social media can EASILY be done by other means that have no such negative side effects.  So, why subject yourself to it?

I realize humans are creatures of habit.  But all I ever hear is how messed up it is.  And yet, people never choose to simply walk away from it.  Really easy solution.  But it just doesn't occur to anyone because they are convinced that they "NEED" it.  I don't get it.

Sigh.

Yeah, why should we drive cars when there are so many people who died by car when we could just walk?  Very easy solution.

 

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3 minutes ago, unixknight said:

In a word: dopamine.

Companies like Facebook invest a LOT of money into understanding the psychology of its users and how to maximize clicks, likes and attention.  They even have specific time delays built into some of the functions to  maximize the impact on your nervous system by working around the time it takes for a dopamine hit in your brain to take effect.  It really is psychologically addicting.  

This doesn't address the underlying issue.

"Maximizing clicks, likes, attention" exists without Facebook or the Internet.  It's the reason most people wear what they wear - especially in high school.

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Just now, anatess2 said:

This doesn't address the underlying issue.

"Maximizing clicks, likes, attention" exists without Facebook or the Internet.  It's the reason most people wear what they wear - especially in high school.

Sure, but sites like Facebook can tune it to scientific precision, which makes them a lot more dangerous.

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11 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

Sigh.

Yeah, why should we drive cars when there are so many people who died by car when we could just walk?  Very easy solution.

False equivalence.  Cars have superior utility over walking.  Social media does not have "superior" utility to other methods of communication.  In fact, the way everything is in limited snippets, always lacking context and completness, it is actually an inferior method of communication.

But go ahead and go on believing it is somehow superior and go on complaining about how you're being held down by the liberal overseers who control who is and is not allowed to say what and when.

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16 minutes ago, Mores said:

False equivalence.  Cars have superior utility over walking.  Social media does not have "superior" utility to other methods of communication.  In fact, the way everything is in limited snippets, always lacking context and completness, it is actually an inferior method of communication.

But go ahead and go on believing it is somehow superior and go on complaining about how you're being held down by the liberal overseers who control who is and is not allowed to say what and when.

The bolded is your impression... and with the "limited snippets" reason, I'm inclined to believe that impression is due to a misunderstanding of what social media is.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the restored gospel of Christ has greatly been benefited by the advent of social media.  But you can go ahead and believe it has no superior utility.... as you argue about its utility on... social media. :rolleyes:

 

 

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On 3/26/2019 at 7:14 AM, unixknight said:

I loved the idea of having friends with very, very different views... but in the current climate, is that even possible anymore?

The scriptures say many things, and here are some scriptures that came to mind when I read this post. Penny might not be your neighbour but she seems to have some similarities with the neighbours described here:

 

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35  For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36  And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

(New Testament | Matthew 10:34 - 36)

 

Micah 7:2  The good man is perished out of the earth: and there is none upright among men: they all lie in wait for blood; they hunt every man his brother with a net.

 

4  Take ye heed every one of his neighbour, and trust ye not in any brother: for every brother will utterly supplant, and every neighbour will walk with slanders.

5  And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity.

6  Thine habitation is in the midst of deceit; through deceit they refuse to know me, saith the LORD.

7  Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, Behold, I will melt them, and try them; for how shall I do for the daughter of my people?

8  Their tongue is as an arrow shot out; it speaketh deceit: one speaketh peaceably to his neighbour with his mouth, but in heart he layeth his wait.

 (Old Testament | Jeremiah 9:4 - 8)

On the other hand.......

18  ¶ Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

(Old Testament | Leviticus 19:18)

 

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On 3/29/2019 at 7:14 AM, Mores said:

You think that simply having a sign on a public sidewalk in front of a PUBLIC place of business is "being rude"?  And you believe this somehow lessens the crime the abortion supporter committed?

The sign wasn't what I was referring to. It was the old man trying to cause an accident. 

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Thanks for all the input, guys.

At this point my regular group now consists of the grown-ups who act like grown-ups that I mentioned earlier.  It's a shame, because I would have considered Penny's husband to be among those... and not just him.  Another of these friends is married to a guy who is a lightning rod for discord in the group, and I'll miss having her in the games as well.

Neither Penny nor her husband has approached me for info regarding a game session for them, and I'm taking that as a sign of lack of interest.  I don't doubt that they'd come if I invited them, but overall I don't really want to run two concurrent groups.  To be honest, it wouldn't be the same anymore, anyway.  My respect for Penny as a person has tanked, and my patience with the passive aggressive nature of the comments from the others has worn off in the wake of all of this.  

As I said, I'd always dreaded the day politics caused a fracture in our group.  I did what I could to prevent it and now, arguably, I'm the one who ultimately pulled the trigger...  It's sad and it's painful but I refuse to take the blame.  The only thing I wish I'd done differently was to pull the plug sooner.  I could have saved myself a lot of stress.

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I am politically moderate but would lean more conservative. Penny is toxic as are all SJW's. I don't know how calling people Nazi's is ever acceptable. I had an old high school friend once who called me a racist on facebook because I wanted to control illegal immigration. I told him to go F off because I had spent more time helping hispanics (via my mission) than he could ever understanding. He apologized and said "I didn't know..." in which I replied of course he didn't know and until he knows he should not throw around such an awful insult endless you have evidence of that claim. We aren't friends anymore because the SJW mindset is toxic and hateful in my experience. I have democratic friends who want to help the dispossessed, however SJW's are a no go.

Friends don't call friends Nazi's and racists without facts. I don't have people in my life like that.

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1 hour ago, faithful_father said:

I am politically moderate but would lean more conservative. Penny is toxic as are all SJW's. I don't know how calling people Nazi's is ever acceptable. I had an old high school friend once who called me a racist on facebook because I wanted to control illegal immigration. I told him to go F off because I had spent more time helping hispanics (via my mission) than he could ever understanding. He apologized and said "I didn't know..." in which I replied of course he didn't know and until he knows he should not throw around such an awful insult endless you have evidence of that claim. We aren't friends anymore because the SJW mindset is toxic and hateful in my experience. I have democratic friends who want to help the dispossessed, however SJW's are a no go.

Friends don't call friends Nazi's and racists without facts. I don't have people in my life like that.

Oberlin College got charged $11M for libel and defamation plus $33M for punitive damages for calling a baker who tackled a black college student on the street for stealing wine bottles from his bakery, racist.

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First off, Congrats on being a DM for 30 years. I first started playing (mostly DM'ing in 1981) Gave it up for a while but back to it via the internet (Roll20) with 2 members of my original group (along with others). Good fun!

As far as Penny, sounds like you're better off without her, she sounds impossible to please, its either her way or the highway. I find that is more and more the case with extreme people  and frankly I remove those type of people from my social circle - don't need or want the drama.

Edited by mnn2501

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