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Is getting pregnant from a sperm donor not allowed in the church?

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On 3/28/2019 at 12:54 PM, Connie said:

A single woman has so many options. There are so many people in this world who are in need of mothering. There are tons of career paths to take such as teaching, daycare, nursing, social work, etc., etc., etc. What is her job? There may be opportunities there to mother. If not, there are so many volunteer opportunities. She could look on justserve.org to find volunteer opportunities in her area.

Exactly and there are many cities across the U.S. that are crying for volunteers in the Cuddle Care program at hospitals.  There is such a rise in the number of babies being born to opioid addicted women that they need people to cuddle the babies.  

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On 3/29/2019 at 7:36 AM, MarginOfError said:

I tend to be pretty live-and-let-live.

Are you under the impression that others in the thread are planning on egging houses of unmarried women who use in vitro or something?

Edited by The Folk Prophet

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On 4/3/2019 at 1:43 PM, Vort said:

One close acquaintance, about my age and a very good-looking guy (at least he was when he was younger), said that every LDS woman he ever dated past the age of 30 tried to get him into bed. Every one, without exception. Think about that. Every. Last. LDS. Woman. Not even the non-member women he dated were as aggressively seductive as the nominally LDS women.

I never had this problem when dating. I wonder what the differing variable was.

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16 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

Are you under the impression that others in the thread are planning on egging houses of unmarried women who use in vitro or something?

You mean, you weren’t planning to do that?

Well, crap.  There go our Saturday night plans . . .

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19 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

Are you under the impression that others in the thread are planning on egging houses of unmarried women who use in vitro or something?

I'd have thought you'd use paintball guns.  Maybe I don't know you as well as I thought.

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1 minute ago, Just_A_Guy said:

You mean, you weren’t planning to do that?

Well, crap.  There go our Saturday night plans . . .

I was planning on sitting at home and silently judging while I binge watch Stranger Things 3

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19 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

I never had this problem when dating. I wonder what the differing variable was.

Obviously, you are not my age.

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Just now, MarginOfError said:

This should be my new profile picture.

image.png.2a9a1d8909808fcb45b6eaec75997683.png

 

(side note: the internet is a truly disturbing place)

Is it more disturbing that someone googled pregnant gummy creature or that it actually turned up a result? 🤔

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On 3/28/2019 at 12:32 PM, scottyg said:

 Another thing to consider since she is LDS, is that if she conceived, she would be unable to have the child sealed to her...children can only be sealed to both a father and a mother, not just 1. If she eventually got married, and wanted a sealing, she would need to seek permission from the actual father of the child...it would get very messy, complicated, and difficult. I would recommend against it - it is difficult, but better to wait upon the Lord.

I'm not sure this is true at all, please provide some proof.

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27 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

I'm not sure this is true at all, please provide some proof.

This is true, I’m looking for a viable reference but so far I can only find statements from non-Latter-day Saint sources.

Also, I haven’t found any non-Latter-day Saint source that says you can get sealed to just one parent.

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1 hour ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

I'm not sure this is true at all, please provide some proof.

 

51 minutes ago, Fether said:

This is true, I’m looking for a viable reference but so far I can only find statements from non-Latter-day Saint sources.

Also, I haven’t found any non-Latter-day Saint source that says you can get sealed to just one parent.

This is from the church's handbook of instructions to church leaders. Since Handbook 1 is not available for public distribution I will not post what it says verbatim, but my comment is the gist of it.

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34 minutes ago, scottyg said:

 

This is from the church's handbook of instructions to church leaders. Since Handbook 1 is not available for public distribution I will not post what it says verbatim, but my comment is the gist of it.

Anecdotally, my close friend who is divorced sought sealing to his son moderately recently and, per that experience, affirms that an unwed parent cannot be sealed to a child. Specifically, he told me that he had to get married so he could get sealed to his son.

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On 3/28/2019 at 3:32 PM, scottyg said:

Another thing to consider since she is LDS, is that if she conceived, she would be unable to have the child sealed to her...children can only be sealed to both a father and a mother, not just 1. If she eventually got married, and wanted a sealing, she would need to seek permission from the actual father of the child...it would get very messy, complicated, and difficult. I would recommend against it - it is difficult, but better to wait upon the Lord.

 

1 hour ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

I'm not sure this is true at all, please provide some proof.

 

29 minutes ago, scottyg said:

This is from the church's handbook of instructions to church leaders. Since Handbook 1 is not available for public distribution I will not post what it says verbatim, but my comment is the gist of it.

I'll follow up on this one.  The relevant sections of Handbook 1 are 3.7.2.2 and 3.7.2.6.  The requirements for being sealed to a natural parent and a step parent are 1) that the natural parent has legal custody and physical custody the majority of the time, and 2) if the other custodial parent has parental rights, that the other natural parent give written consent. 

In this case being discussed here, sperm donors don't typically have parental rights. So there is likely no need to pursue the consent of the donor.

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3 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

Anecdotally, my close friend who is divorced sought sealing to his son moderately recently and, per that experience, affirms that an unwed parent cannot be sealed to a child. Specifically, he told me that he had to get married so he could get sealed to his son.

With all due respect to your friend: This is obvious. You don't get sealed to a parent. The nature of the sealing is that it is an identical situation to being born in the covenant. People who wonder (or worse, complain) about not being able to be sealed singly to their children or not being able to be sealed to only one parent rather than both have not the faintest clue what they're talking about.

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2 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:
On 3/28/2019 at 12:32 PM, scottyg said:

 Another thing to consider since she is LDS, is that if she conceived, she would be unable to have the child sealed to her...children can only be sealed to both a father and a mother, not just 1. If she eventually got married, and wanted a sealing, she would need to seek permission from the actual father of the child...it would get very messy, complicated, and difficult. I would recommend against it - it is difficult, but better to wait upon the Lord.

I'm not sure this is true at all, please provide some proof.

This seems roughly equivalent to a reformed prostitute having to figure out which of her former customers fathered her child and then ask his permission. I'm pretty seriously doubting that the biological father (sperm donor) would merit any such consideration.

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1 hour ago, Vort said:

This seems roughly equivalent to a reformed prostitute having to figure out which of her former customers fathered her child and then ask his permission. I'm pretty seriously doubting that the biological father (sperm donor) would merit any such consideration.

In theory it's possible, but very unlikely. Crazier things have happened though. I do not know if the Temple President would allow such a sealing to take place if a sperm donor was the father and the woman had since married...cases such as that may need to be referred to church headquarters, but since I have never served in a capacity to authorize a sealing I have little first hand knowledge. Again, it would get very messy, complicated, and difficult. Regardless, unless there are both a worthy father and a mother a sealing won't happen, period.

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5 minutes ago, scottyg said:

In theory it's possible, but very unlikely. Crazier things have happened though. I do not know if the Temple President would allow such a sealing to take place if a sperm donor was the father and the woman had since married...cases such as that may need to be referred to church headquarters, but since I have never served in a capacity to authorize a sealing I have little first hand knowledge. Again, it would get very messy, complicated, and difficult. Regardless, unless there are both a worthy father and a mother a sealing won't happen, period.

There is a provision in the Handbook for when the natural parent cannot be contacted. The letter from the stake president to the First Presidency would need to detail the efforts made to find the natural parent.

The other option is for the step parent to adopt the child, in which case the issue is moot.

Temple presidents don't actually have any authority to say if the sealing may take place or not, barring some very obvious and egregious worthiness issues manifest when the family arrives. But that's a different matter than step parents and children, etc.

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1 hour ago, Vort said:

With all due respect to your friend: This is obvious. You don't get sealed to a parent. The nature of the sealing is that it is an identical situation to being born in the covenant. People who wonder (or worse, complain) about not being able to be sealed singly to their children or not being able to be sealed to only one parent rather than both have not the faintest clue what they're talking about.

Rereading this answer, I feel a rant coming on.

I'm surprised and maybe a little bit appalled at the lack of understanding among the Saints of what are really very basic, foundational beliefs. We are not sealed to Dear Old Dad and to Mommy Kiss-kiss. The nature of the sealing between parent and child is that the child is born in the parents' covenant. The wording of the sealing ceremony makes this blindingly obvious: One who is sealed in the temple to his parents has exactly the same status with one who was born in the [his parents'] covenant.

YOU CANNOT SEAL A CHILD TO AN INDIVIDUAL. This is, or should be, so obvious as not to need explanation, at least among the faithful Saints. Sealing a child to his/her parents means placing that child within the bonds of his/her parents' marital covenant. No parents, both mother and father? No marital covenant, which means nothing to seal the child within.

Non-members cannot be expected to understand this. Children and newly baptized members cannot be expected to know this. But if mature Saints with long practice in the Church don't know this basic thing, then somewhere along the line there has been an important failure to communicate very basic, foundational stuff. Merely going to the temple and paying attention to what is being said should be enough to fill in such knowledge gaps.

No offense intended to anyone reading this. Just venting some frustration.

/rant

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