How to confess one time masturbation to Bishop


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I'm an eighteen-year-old young woman and confided in a close friend who has a pornography and masturbation problem that I was triggered once and did things that could qualify as arousing feelings in myself. Once I recognized that was what I was doing I immediately stopped and felt horrible about it. My friend suggested I talk to my bishop in order to no longer feel guilty or feel that I am keeping it a secret from God. I have prayed and repented for what I did but think I might have to talk to the bishop in order to get it 100% behind me but the idea of going to him terrifies me.  But because I can't be completely sure whether I have to confess or not I'm anxious that I'm going to do the wrong thing either by not confessing or making it sound like a bigger deal than it was making him concerned I have an addiction. My friend with the addiction both suggested talking to the bishop but also said I was probably fine in not going to him because it was only once and the bishop wouldn't have much follow up other than to tell me to continue in what I am doing by repenting and not doing it again. I convinced myself at one point that I wouldn't need to talk to him but on further consideration realized that by not going to him I could possibly be unworthy to enter the temple.

I know that sins regarding the law of chastity should be taken to the bishop and it's not enough to simply pray to be forgiven of it, so I think I should go to my bishop about this matter no matter how long ago it occurred. However, as a young woman, I feel extremely uncomfortable with the idea of blatantly telling my bishop that I masturbated once, no matter how much I trust him. Plus I feel, although I don't think this is rational, that people are more understanding of young men committing sexual sins and as a woman that it is much worse to have committed this sin.

 Do I have to explicitly have to tell my bishop that my sin is accidental masturbation? While it was only once I don't know how he would respond as I feel he is more used to giving guidance on how to get out of addiction. It happened long enough ago that I know it's not going to happen again but I need to renew my temple recommend this month and so I have been thinking about it. I'm scared to word it in a way that he will understand without thinking that I have an addiction. I'm embarrassed and unsure of how to tell him. Honestly, the only thing that is keeping me from having this conversation with my bishop is the dread of having to explain to him that I masturbated.

 
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So here is the thing. We aren’t allowed to discuss sexual content on this site to really any extent. But what we are allowed to say is “go see your bishop”.

The only thing that will be hurt in seeing your bishop and telling him literally everything is your own pride. We all have to go through some sort of humbling like this.

Tell him I’m the most plain and clear wording possible.

believe me. Until you tell your bishop everything. You won’t be content or at peace. Just do it :). Admit to yourself that your not the hotshot you think you are (cause we all think we are hot shots), and admit you need help to get your conscious put to rest. You will regret every waking moment you go not having told your bishop.

Edited by Fether
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  • 3 weeks later...

Sorry I took so long to get back to your question mnn2501. I've had AP exams for the past few weeks. 😅

It was Sooooo much better than I imagined it would be. My bishop was new and I didn't know him very well so I was very very nervous but he acted so kind and considerate I don't know what I was expecting because I should know that bishop's roles are to be like that. He spent a long time getting to know me before I told him anything which really helped my nerves and he even expressed to me his own "overwellmness" by all of the many bishops tasks and laughed about it. 

He made me feel safe and comfortable and was very understanding when talking me through things. I felt the peace I wanted after it was over and I know I did the right thing. 

Having this experience has really strengthened my testimony on the leaders of the church. It honestly was my first interaction with confessing to the bishop and I was going in relying on the extreme stories told to me by others and overthought the entire thing.

Thank you for all reassuring me. I will definitely know better next time to just trust and talk to my bishop.

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