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Alemmedial

Should i quit my job?

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28 minutes ago, Alemmedial said:

Some people at work say I don't do very well and I'm starting to wonder if I'm just not good enough to work here.

Thank you for your post.

Some questions: In what way, are you ‘Not very well’? Who has said that you are not doing well? Do you report to these people? 

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Well I am the lowest on the totem pole so I try to follow everyones orders but one person says that I should do a lot more than I do because I am given so much time to do it. I find that doing all these tasks has lowered the quality of work. For example now that I take on most of what many people are asking me to do the floors are being waxed without all the marks taken out first. Gtg im on my break and it's almost over.

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Some of them say i do a good job but at the same time tell me to do things differently. But it's mostly just one person out to get me i think.  I'm starting to feel sorry for this person and I sometimes feel it would just be best if i left.

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He says I do a good job but I need to finish such and such but he doesn't list the stuff the other person lists. It's getting pretty bad and I am starting my work day in full depression mode for the first time. Usually it takes untill about the end of of my shift but ive been seeing this persons face in my mind all day dreading their dirty mouthed comments and cold touch, when did it become ok to touch btw?

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I have plenty of time to do what the real boss says and i do it fine as long as I don't do too much of that other stuff. And things are getting worse since I started doing what the real boss says.

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Ok, I'm old enough to have an adult kid.  I've been working on a corporate environment since I was 12.  So this is advice from that perspective.

1.)  Snitches get stitches ending up in ditches are for gangs, mafia, and prison.  And teenagers in public school.  It has no place in the adult work ethic. 

2.)  That said, there's a time to snitch and there's a time to not snitch.  The decision lies on what will get better productivity and a pleasant workplace and not necessarily fear of losing "respectability from a workmate".  An ethical worker's loyalty should be to who signs your paycheck or who the signer of the paycheck assigns as the person managing your work (e.g. your boss).  So, if your workmate is making it difficult for you to accomplish the tasks that the signer of your paycheck assigns to you to earn that paycheck, then you'll need to tell your boss.  At the same time, if telling your boss will only cause a more unpleasant work experience (e.g. workplace contention), then you might need a creative solution in approaching your boss.  In any case, a good worker with good work ethic will always, first, try to solve the problem on their own before asking the boss for help.  This could include having a man-to-man talk with that workmate to tell them the adult version of "you're not the boss of me".

3.)  Sometimes, the paycheck is not worth the headache.  In this case, forward planning is necessary.  Questions such as - how long can I go without a paycheck before I get desperate and prostitute myself just so I can eat?  Or, how hard would it be for me to find another job?  A lot of people say that job security means how long one can stay at a job.  I don't subscribe to that mindset.  I prefer to look at job security as how long it will take me to find another job when I decide to leave the one I have.  Interestingly, I've worked for the same company for over 20 years now.  But I've been doing the same type job since I was 12.  I've honed that skill to a point that I can work for any business doing what I do very efficiently, or open my own shop.  It helps that I really love doing what I do.  In any case, a lot of times, it is better to put one's shoulder at the wheel of a current job while looking for better opportunities rather than running away from that particular headache only for it to be replaced by another headache of figuring out every morning when you wake up where your meal ticket for the day is going to come from.

Anyway, hope this helps.

Edited by anatess2

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3 hours ago, anatess2 said:

1.)  Snitches get stitches ending up in ditches are for gangs, mafia, and prison.  And teenagers in public school.  It has no place in the adult work ethic.

I think this is the real problem.  The hard part for me is that I am younger then the worst of the two and it breaks my heart daily that these two sometimes 3 people use bullying, intimidation,  and manipulation to achieve what they want to instead of leading by example.  It's funny you say prison because that's how it feels.  Gangs and mafia yes they meet and decide how they can squeeze all they can from me.  I've been bullied at public school before and kids aren't as conniving or cold hearted as these "professionals."  This is the world we live in.  

 

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If you truly feel this way I would start praying for the right door and looking for another job.  My last job lasted about five and a half years.  It was so bad in my opinion I was looking for another job for over a year before I could not take anymore and just sent my resignation e-mail and quit.  Sometimes your mind cannot take anymore and I felt this way.  

I was then blessed to start another great job two weeks later after resigning my old job.  I have been at my current job for over two years and I love it.  The right opportunity is out there for you and I hope you find it.

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Ok guys I'm getting really upset at work and I really wanna figure this out. Just a little back story. When I was out of work I prayed and fasted and I had a dream and in my dream I was told to work at this place. I applied and got hired and now I really feel like I'm unfairly targeted. I know I do a good job I literally run from place to to save time I scrub on my hands and knees I sweat every day I been told by some that I clean more than anyone they have ever seen and others tell me I do very good as well.  I don't want to quit for two reasons. I feel like I was put here for a reason, and also I just don't like the idea of quiting.  Why am I getting the feeling of being squeezed out, I don't belong, or I'm being unfairly judged.  Why so much drama in this retail environment.  How much could actually be at stake here?!? I mean if this was a big $$ job then I'd understand, But this is southern California retail. 

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3 hours ago, Alemmedial said:

Ok guys I'm getting really upset at work and I really wanna figure this out. Just a little back story. When I was out of work I prayed and fasted and I had a dream and in my dream I was told to work at this place. I applied and got hired and now I really feel like I'm unfairly targeted. I know I do a good job I literally run from place to to save time I scrub on my hands and knees I sweat every day I been told by some that I clean more than anyone they have ever seen and others tell me I do very good as well.  I don't want to quit for two reasons. I feel like I was put here for a reason, and also I just don't like the idea of quiting.  Why am I getting the feeling of being squeezed out, I don't belong, or I'm being unfairly judged.  Why so much drama in this retail environment.  How much could actually be at stake here?!? I mean if this was a big $$ job then I'd understand, But this is southern California retail. 

If you're getting positive commendation from other workmates then I say - ignore the difficult people.  Sometimes, when you say "I get the feeling of being squeezed out, don't belong, unfairly judged, etc.", it can be a projection of your anxiety for those people.  If you stop focusing on that feeling, then it may be that it's easy to just ignore them and focus instead on the people giving you positive vibes.

So, okay... this will sound harsh but this is based on my experience as a student and then as a mother of teen-agers.  Bullies target certain people.  They don't just bully everyone.  When I was growing up, it's pretty easy to spot the "targets".  They're usually the "odd one out" (like, the fat kid, the gay kid, the kid with acne, the kid that wear glasses, the kid with a "funny" name like Forrest - his mother couldn't have possibly predicted Forrest Gump would be a thing, etc. etc.).  But in addition to that, they're the ones who do not have self-confidence and don't have many friends.  Bullies like to single those people out because they are for sure not going to get much push back.  So, when I became a mother of 2 boys, I made sure to teach my kids self-confidence and the resilience to know their own worth in the middle of a crowd of people telling them they "don't belong".  

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3 hours ago, anatess2 said:

If you're getting positive commendation from other workmates then I say - ignore the difficult people.  Sometimes, when you say "I get the feeling of being squeezed out, don't belong, unfairly judged, etc.", it can be a projection of your anxiety for those people.  If you stop focusing on that feeling, then it may be that it's easy to just ignore them and focus instead on the people giving you positive vibes.

So, okay... this will sound harsh but this is based on my experience as a student and then as a mother of teen-agers.  Bullies target certain people.  They don't just bully everyone.  When I was growing up, it's pretty easy to spot the "targets".  They're usually the "odd one out" (like, the fat kid, the gay kid, the kid with acne, the kid that wear glasses, the kid with a "funny" name like Forrest - his mother couldn't have possibly predicted Forrest Gump would be a thing, etc. etc.).  But in addition to that, they're the ones who do not have self-confidence and don't have many friends.  Bullies like to single those people out because they are for sure not going to get much push back.  So, when I became a mother of 2 boys, I made sure to teach my kids self-confidence and the resilience to know their own worth in the middle of a crowd of people telling them they "don't belong".  

Your right, it was harsh.  But thanks anyway.  I was hoping for more of ideas of how to help this person maybe idk.  Something more important I guess then just ignoring them.  Let me know if you come up with something.

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1 minute ago, Alemmedial said:

Your right, it was harsh.  But thanks anyway.  I was hoping for more of ideas of how to help this person maybe idk.  Something more important I guess then just ignoring them.  Let me know if you come up with something.

You can't help someone when you feel bad towards him.  So, the first step to helping a person is to change how you feel about him - like, finding something about him you have in common or something about him you like, etc.  Then you tell him about that thing you like.

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7 minutes ago, Alemmedial said:

It's a girl

Doesn't matter. 

In normal English language conversation, you use the pronouns He, Him when referring to any gender.  At least that was what I was taught in English Language classes (English is not my native language).

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40 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

Doesn't matter. 

In normal English language conversation, you use the pronouns He, Him when referring to any gender.  At least that was what I was taught in English Language classes (English is not my native language).

 There has been a determined and focused push for at least the last 20 years in educational circles to  obsolete the gender-neutral "he". It's a sad thing, but there you have it.

Edited by Vort

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On 5/22/2019 at 3:26 PM, Alemmedial said:

Old enough to know, snitches get stitches

You're in the competitive adult world of professional retail,  not junior high school. When you're having a problem that affects your performance, you need to talk to your manager about it. This is an important skill to develop, so you might as well start now. Put cutesy nonsense like "snitches get stitches" behind you and address the problem.

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