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Alia

Please can you give me some advice on things to do with a 20 month old.

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Hi, 

I have a 20 month old son, I went back to work when he was 3 months out of necessity rather than wanting to return to work and I have taken a 6 month sabbatical from work which started 3 weeks ago to spend more time with my son. I love my son but I am so bored at home with him, I don't know what to do with him. I tried taking him to the Aquarium yesterday and he fell asleep on the way there so I just turned around and went home. I don't know what I am going to do for the next 6 months. Please give me some activities that I can do with him? 

 

Alia

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Doing time with a 20 month old = running on their schedule.   Structured time and planned activities and stuff are fine, but what he gets out of it, and what you want him to get out of it, will often be two different things.

Just have a book with you, and get ready to explore the bottom of the kitchen table and stuff.  Bonding time doesn't have to be developmentally excellent or any other big words like that.

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9 minutes ago, Alia said:

I have a 20 month old son, I went back to work when he was 3 months out of necessity rather than wanting to return to work and I have taken a 6 month sabbatical from work which started 3 weeks ago to spend more time with my son. I love my son but I am so bored at home with him, I don't know what to do with him. I tried taking him to the Aquarium yesterday and he fell asleep on the way there so I just turned around and went home. I don't know what I am going to do for the next 6 months. Please give me some activities that I can do with him? 

Anything you would normally do on your own.  Just do it with him.

  • If you like reading, read to him.  If you're reading grown up books to him, you'll see his vocabulary increase tremendously.
  • Play games that you like -- especially if you can let your inner child out and do things like legos.  Swordfights!!! Wrestle with him.
  • Gardening.  Kids love playing in dirt.  Give him some of the dirty work.  You can hose him off later.  It's summer.  He'll love it.
  • Teach him to help with household chores.  Children need to learn to do it.  Start 'em young.  And they will have a much better attitude doing it if it's "helping mommie" rather than "chores".  And it will be much more pleasant for you if you're doing it to "teach and raise" your son, rather than "doing chores".
  • Exercise.  Doing it with someone else is always more fun.  With a 20 month old, it will be like dancercise.
  • Grooming.  Teach him about fingernails and toenails.  Hair care.  Dress up, etc.
  • When you're tired, have him walk all over your back.  At 20 months he's the perfect weight.
  • Take naps with him.  Being a mom is exhausting work.  You need some rest.  So does he.
  • Show him puzzles of all types.  Remember that they need to be tough enough to keep him interested, but easy enough that it isn't frustrating.
  • And, yes, you can just watch a movie or TV show with him.  Just don't do it TOO much.

Much more. But this gives you an idea of what you can do.

Edited by Mores

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As a mother of 2 almost adult kids, I'll give you one simple truth about kids:

Looking at kids as needing to organize activities is for daycare centers.  They don't really need that.  What they need is to LIVE LIFE.  And that's something that you have mastered being of an age old enough to have your own kids.  So, just like @Mores said - LIVE LIFE with your kid.  And remember, everything is a teaching opportunity with a 20-month old. 

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9 hours ago, Alia said:

Hi, 

I have a 20 month old son, I went back to work when he was 3 months out of necessity rather than wanting to return to work and I have taken a 6 month sabbatical from work which started 3 weeks ago to spend more time with my son. I love my son but I am so bored at home with him, I don't know what to do with him. I tried taking him to the Aquarium yesterday and he fell asleep on the way there so I just turned around and went home. I don't know what I am going to do for the next 6 months. Please give me some activities that I can do with him? 

 

Alia

Google "Toddler activities in 'your city'". I would hope that doing a google search should give you some ideas.

Most libraries have toddler activities. Can you go to a play ground or water park?

M.

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21 hours ago, anatess2 said:

As a mother of 2 almost adult kids, I'll give you one simple truth about kids:

Looking at kids as needing to organize activities is for daycare centers.  They don't really need that.  What they need is to LIVE LIFE.  And that's something that you have mastered being of an age old enough to have your own kids.  So, just like @Mores said - LIVE LIFE with your kid.  And remember, everything is a teaching opportunity with a 20-month old. 

That is pretty much what I have been doing with him but I am so bored. I've never had such mind numbing days in my life before. 

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15 hours ago, Maureen said:

Google "Toddler activities in 'your city'". I would hope that doing a google search should give you some ideas.

 Most libraries have toddler activities. Can you go to a play ground or water park?

M.

I'm not going to stay and plays and activities where there are other children around. I can't take him to the playground because I am terrified of dogs. 

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On 6/12/2019 at 6:51 PM, Mores said:

Anything you would normally do on your own.  Just do it with him.

  • If you like reading, read to him.  If you're reading grown up books to him, you'll see his vocabulary increase tremendously.
  • Play games that you like -- especially if you can let your inner child out and do things like legos.  Swordfights!!! Wrestle with him.
  • Gardening.  Kids love playing in dirt.  Give him some of the dirty work.  You can hose him off later.  It's summer.  He'll love it.
  • Teach him to help with household chores.  Children need to learn to do it.  Start 'em young.  And they will have a much better attitude doing it if it's "helping mommie" rather than "chores".  And it will be much more pleasant for you if you're doing it to "teach and raise" your son, rather than "doing chores".
  • Exercise.  Doing it with someone else is always more fun.  With a 20 month old, it will be like dancercise.
  • Grooming.  Teach him about fingernails and toenails.  Hair care.  Dress up, etc.
  • When you're tired, have him walk all over your back.  At 20 months he's the perfect weight.
  • Take naps with him.  Being a mom is exhausting work.  You need some rest.  So does he.
  • Show him puzzles of all types.  Remember that they need to be tough enough to keep him interested, but easy enough that it isn't frustrating.
  • And, yes, you can just watch a movie or TV show with him.  Just don't do it TOO much.

Much more. But this gives you an idea of what you can do.

The thing is I am so bored I have nothing interesting to do except for caring for my son which isn't very interesting most of the time. I will leave the wrestling to my husband but I will try gardening with him.

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13 minutes ago, Alia said:

The thing is I am so bored I have nothing interesting to do except for caring for my son which isn't very interesting most of the time. I will leave the wrestling to my husband but I will try gardening with him.

Can I ask you what you would do if your son was not there, and did not have a job?

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6 minutes ago, Mores said:

Can I ask you what you would do if your son was not there, and did not have a job?

I don't know my job was my life. I would probably go back to school and retrain in a different field of law. 

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19 minutes ago, Alia said:

I don't know my job was my life. I would probably go back to school and retrain in a different field of law. 

There is nothing that says you can't work WHILE being a SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom).  Some people can't make it work.  Some can.  I believe you can.  See, the principle is that, as a SAHM, you make your children a priority in your life.  They don't have to be your WHOLE life.  In fact, they should NOT be your WHOLE life.  So, as long as you're first making sure your child's needs are met, then go ahead and add stuff into your schedule.

I'll give you some tips that are used by a couple women I know.  But be sure to do all of it with prayer, always thinking of the needs of your husband and child first.

One woman goes to school while she's raising the kids.  She has to work babysitting, of course.  But sometimes she simply takes one or two classes each semester and asks if she can bring her child along as long as he remains quiet and doesn't bother the class.  The teachers are usually accommodating as long as she is holding up her end of the bargain.  All parties understand that if the child is distracting, she is to take him out.  The teachers won't ding her for being absent.  And she is responsible for getting notes from a classmate on any missed material from class.

Another woman is working on studying things (university of Youtube) to set up her own home-based business as she does her SAHM stuff.  For you, that could easily be law.  While you may be versed in law, you may need a class on business.  Alternatively, I believe you mentioned a relative who runs his own business.  You could get tips from him.

(One woman actually does this) In the construction industry, one of the highest paid professions is the ones setting up the contracts.  While smaller companies usually do this through one of the owners, and the big companies do it through a full-time on-staff contracts agent, the mid-sized companies may do work with freelancers.  Also, many of the smaller-larger companies will have people pretty much full time, but through a contracting agency.  Get with a contracting agency and market yourself through them.  Get with several contracting agencies. 

You could do this part time and work it into your child's schedule.  This is the type of job that can get you to vice-president positions at major companies.  But remember your children.

As far as contracting agencies, that can get fairly complicated.  And there are variations.  But if you want to go over some of the pitfalls to avoid, feel free to PM me.

Edited by Mores

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5 hours ago, Alia said:

I'm not going to stay and plays and activities where there are other children around. I can't take him to the playground because I am terrified of dogs. 

I'm not sure I follow. Are you saying you have no interest in taking your son to places where he can do activities with other children? Are you even interested in your own son, his personality, how he's changing and learning?

M.

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19 hours ago, Alia said:

That is pretty much what I have been doing with him but I am so bored. I've never had such mind numbing days in my life before. 

Then you're not LIVING with your kid.  You're probably treating your kid as a chore.  Chores are boring.  LIVING is not boring.  If the thing that drives you is intellectual stimulation - man, there's nothing more intellectually stimulating than figuring out the mind of a 20-month old.  But yeah, cleaning diapers, getting a 20-month old to eat, watching him run around with his legos is boring... because those are chores.

 

Edited by anatess2

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So, as @Mores has stated - your kid is not your WHOLE life.  Your kid is PART of your life - a VERY IMPORTANT part.  Your kid is not the center of your orbit that you revolve around.  Rather, you and your kid are parts of a whole revolving around The-Gospel-Centered-Home which is the center of your orbit.

So, here's an example of a Lawyer who quit law to stay home with his kids.  He is COMPLETELY FASCINATED by figuring out how his kids' minds work!  This learning is just as fascinating - if not more so - than going to school for another legal training.  But you have to stop looking at your kid as a CHORE.

 

Edited by anatess2

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19 hours ago, Alia said:

I'm not going to stay and plays and activities where there are other children around. I can't take him to the playground because I am terrified of dogs. 

Wait... what?  What's wrong with other kids?  Your kid needs PEERS.  It's an integral part of his learning.  And you need the support of other parents.

Edited by anatess2

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On 6/13/2019 at 1:11 PM, Alia said:

I'm not going to stay and plays and activities where there are other children around. I can't take him to the playground because I am terrified of dogs. 

You two NEED to go out and have social interactions, for your sanity and his social development.  Go out, explore life, have fun, and make friends/support network.  

 The alternative is to imprison your self at home: making yourself isolated and miserable, and depriving him of developing needed social skills.  

Edited by Jane_Doe

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