NobleIntent

Supporting spouses in bishopric

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Hi and welcome NobleIntent,

Good wish - they tell me it involves a lot of being patient, rolling with last minute changes to schedule, and making sure the two of you occasionally place yourselves first.  Bishop is much harder, but counselor can involve a lot of meetings on Sunday and youth night.

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Outsider counsel: Pray that the Holy Spirit will confirm YOUR calling as wife to a bishopric counselor. I know of two men who felt called to serve as clergy, but who ended up leaving that sacred role, because their wives never supported them. When he's called to a meeting, instead of being jealous for the lost together time, pray for God's anointing and wisdom upon him. When he's asked to participate in a difficult decision or process, instead of bemoaning the added stress he's under, pray for God's peace that passes all understanding. That you are asking how to help is a great sign that you will do wonderfully. You have the added assurance that callings are for a season, so no matter how challenging the role ends up being, "This too shall pass."

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I serve in the bishopric, and there will be times when he will get a phone call, go dress in his Sunday best, and head out the door to help minister to ward members in need. There will be times when he will come from meetings feeling exhausted and looking depressed. Best not to ask too many questions about details as everything discussed and done as a bishopric is done in complete confidence. Prayers, smiles, hugs, and back scratches go a long way. :)

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On 7/7/2019 at 2:22 AM, NobleIntent said:

Any suggestions for spouse of newly called bishopric counselor? No children at home. How can I best support my husband?

If your husband makes a mistake - you may openly discusses it with them - BUT NOT ANYONE ELSE.  And if he ever tells you anything (or you somehow find out) about what is going on (that is not announced openly to the ward) KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

 

The Traveler

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Your husband will start early on Sundays and sometimes not get home until late. He may also need to go out occasionally during the week. He'll be required to go to semiannual or even quarterly leadership meetings. Mainly, his duty is to support the bishop however he can and be there to help bear the load. Try never to criticize him for these things.

Frankly, being a bishopric counselor is about a tenth the work of being a bishop. It has a very high reward/work ratio, so in that sense it's a sweet calling. It's also obviously pretty visible, so your husband will need to learn to be outgoing and even extroverted, if he isn't that already. If this is at all difficult for him, you can be a whole lot of help to him by supporting him and maybe even giving him some tips (in a loving, non-critical way).

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Just now, Vort said:

Your husband will start early on Sundays and sometimes not get home until late. He may also need to go out occasionally during the week. He'll be required to go to semiannual or even quarterly leadership meetings. Mainly, his duty is to support the bishop however he can and be there to help bear the load. Try never to criticize him for these things.

Frankly, being a bishopric counselor is about a tenth the work of being a bishop. It has a very high reward/work ratio, so in that sense it's a sweet calling. It's also obviously pretty visible, so your husband will need to learn to be outgoing and even extroverted, if he isn't that already. If this is at all difficult for him, you can be a whole lot of help to him by supporting him and maybe even giving him some tips (in a loving, non-critical way).

Having served in a bishopric - I have yet to encounter anyone serving in a bishopric doing such a poor job that I want to replace them.

 

The Traveler

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@Traveler & @Vort-If there was a member of the bishopric who just don't show up or was incompetent, how does that work?  Not someone who committed a grave sin, mind you. Does the bishop replace him or does the SP? 

Edited by MormonGator

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1 hour ago, MormonGator said:

@Traveler & @Vort-If there was a member of the bishopric who just don't show up or was incompetent, how does that work?  Not someone who committed a grave sin, mind you. Does the bishop replace him or does the SP? 

Bishops do not call or release their own counselors personally. The stake president calls and releases bishopric counselors, but almost always with input from the bishop. If someone simply would not or could not do the duties of a bishopric counselor, the bishop would talk to the stake president, and the stake president would eventually release and replace the counselor.

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1 minute ago, Vort said:

Bishops do not call or release their own counselors personally. The stake president calls and releases bishopric counselors, but almost always with input from the bishop. If someone simply would not or could not do the duties of a bishopric counselor, the bishop would talk to the stake president, and the stake president would eventually release and replace the counselor.

Thanks bud. I had no idea how those things work. 

 

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13 hours ago, MormonGator said:

@Traveler & @Vort-If there was a member of the bishopric who just don't show up or was incompetent, how does that work?  Not someone who committed a grave sin, mind you. Does the bishop replace him or does the SP? 

I would add that anyone with a calling is released (or called) under the direction of Jesus Christ - through the Holy Spirit.  

 

The Traveler

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1 hour ago, Traveler said:

I would add that anyone with a calling is released (or called) under the direction of Jesus Christ - through the Holy Spirit.  

 

The Traveler

Thanks bud. Excellent point! 

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Just now, MormonGator said:

Thanks bud. Excellent point! 

A thought about calling and releases in the Church.  Sometime ago a new Stake Presidency was called in our stake.  The first councilor was a neighbor and close friend.  About 3 years into the service of this stake presidency both councilors were released and new councilors were called.  Many thought that my friend and neighbor was released for some spiritual defect.  It was my opinion that my friend was in a place in life where he just did not have the time to serve as needed and not for any spiritual or worthiness reasons but out of respect for him - I only stated to others that I did not believe his release was for spiritual or worthiness reasons.  After about 9 years (having served 12 years) the stake president and his councilors were released and my friend and neighbor (previous first councilor that was released early) was called as the new Stake President.  

 

The Traveler

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On 7/7/2019 at 2:22 AM, NobleIntent said:

Any suggestions for spouse of newly called bishopric counselor? No children at home. How can I best support my husband?

With no children this can be really easy to support, but may be lonely at times. Simply allow him to be where and when he needs to be somewhere, no matter how much you miss him.

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