Second marriage and temple garments


Hello
 Share

Recommended Posts

My husband and I will be sealed in the temple soon. My first sealing his second. He has temple garments already but it doesn’t feel right to me that he wear these at our sealing since he wore them at his first. Kind of like a bride wearing the same gown. These are the same temple garments he was endowed in so I explained that I don’t mind him keeping them but I would prefer he buy new to be sealed to me. My husband agreed. Am I reading to much into this? Am I wrong? 

Edited by Hello
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest MormonGator
7 minutes ago, Hello said:

 Am I reading to much into this? Am I wrong? 

No, it sounds a little weird to me too. Your request is totally valid. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To be care it never occurred to him until I mentioned it. He fully understands and agrees. I just wanted to get someone else’s opinion to make sure I wasn’t crossing a line or stepping on my husband’s toes to appease my feels. 

Edited by Hello
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, Hello said:

To be care it never occurred to him until I mentioned it. He fully understands and agrees. I just wanted to get someone else’s opinion to make sure I wasn’t crossing a line or stepping on my husband’s toes to appease my feels. 

I think if it bothers you, you are fine to bring it up with him. It's been my experience that it's far better to always be 100% open and honest with your spouse when you have any concerns, then to not say anything and keep it bottled up inside. Communication is one of the most important pillars of a successful marriage. I like that he took your concerns seriously when you brought it up. It sounds like you are marrying a good man☺.

Edited by Midwest LDS
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Hello said:

Temple garments..or temple clothes (hat, apron, etc). Not his regular garments. 

I'm glad you explained better because even to me as a non-member, only one pair of garments sounds strange.

M.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Hello said:

Temple garments..or temple clothes (hat, apron, etc). Not his regular garments. 

I don't see any problem with your request. On the other hand, I don't see any problem with him wearing the same temple clothing* he wore before.

Your request is understandable and not unreasonable, but you should understand that men often do not wear "special" temple clothing for their temple sealings. They just wear the plain old temple clothing they have always worn, or perhaps rent the temple clothing for the occasion. It is true that women will often (though certainly not always) wear a special "temple dress" to be married in. But that is more unusual for men. Temple clothing is, in a sense, a type of "work clothing", sacred and special but not terribly meaningful in and of itself.

You say that your husband is amenable to your request, so that probably solves the problem. If he's attached to his temple clothing (e.g. they belonged to his father or grandpa, or they were given him when he left on a mission, or something of the sort) and he doesn't want to own two sets, maybe he can just rent a set of clothing for your sealing. I don't think it costs $5 to rent them, so price shouldn't be an issue.

*In everyday speech, "garment" is synonymous with "clothing". The only difference is that we rarely use the term "garment" these days. Within Latter-day Saint speech, "garment" is understood in casual conversation to refer to the garment of the holy Priesthood, aka the temple garment, which is underwear. The special ceremonial clothing worn in the temple is usually just called "temple clothing". Strictly speaking, the pieces of clothing are garments, just like a t-shirt and jeans are garments. But to avoid confusion, we usually say "temple clothing" for the ceremonial clothing and "temple garment" (often just "garment" or "garments") for the garment of the holy Priesthood. I provide this not as correction, but as an explanation and for clarification.

Edited by Vort
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Honestly, I think your request is a bit strange.  But I grew up in the Church, was sealed to the spouse in the temple clothing I purchased when I was first endowed, and my spouse used the same temple clothing she purchased when she was endowed.  We had both served missions, so had temple clothing for several years before we met. In fact, we both still have the same temple clothing almost 15 years later.

There's really nothing special about the temple clothing--other than it being special, but I hope you know what I mean.

That being said, if it seems weird/uncomfortable to you, then buy new ones. Emotions aren't always rational, and are rarely worth ignoring. So go be you and have fun!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I suppose to does seem strange to someone who has grown up in the church and has only been sealed once. I think it takes on a new meaning because the ceremonial clothing is what he actually wore during his sealing to his first wife. I wouldn’t wear my first wedding dress to this sealing. And again I am a convert so I look at things differently I suppose. I agree renting sounds reasonable as I don’t think he should get rid of them and he can certainly wear them again if he chooses. I jsut prefer not on our sealing day. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Hello said:

I suppose to does seem strange to someone who has grown up in the church and has only been sealed once. I think it takes on a new meaning because the ceremonial clothing is what he actually wore during his sealing to his first wife. I wouldn’t wear my first wedding dress to this sealing. And again I am a convert so I look at things differently I suppose. I agree renting sounds reasonable as I don’t think he should get rid of them and he can certainly wear them again if he chooses. I jsut prefer not on our sealing day. 

Just make sure you look online or call ahead to make sure clothing rental is available...some of the smaller temples do not offer that service.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello @Hello

Just some thoughts that may or may not apply.  I may be the oldest poster on this forum and I have seen many changes.  Often there are a litany of experiences that one has while dressed appropriately and attending the temple that render our temple habiliments sacred beyond their initial supposed intent.  Then, on the other hand I have worn out and replaced much of that attire more than once.  There are parts or pieces that were hand made for me by my now deceased  mother that I intend to have with me when I depart mortality but if circumstances prevent such I will not regret.

As you covenant with your husband in the temple many possibilities will be opened up to you as a daughter in Zion and there are blessings beyond the sphere of our mortal lives.  As you are faithful to your covenants you will learn greater and greater things as you return to the temple as a service for our ancestors.  When you can, forgive intrusions into things in your life - including and especially things you hold sacred and dear - it will enhance your temple experiences.  And I would suggest that you learn to listen while meditating during your temple experiences more than expressing your feelings, wants and needs to your Father which is in Heaven.  I especially congratulate you for your desire to covenant with your husband in the temple of G-d.  But this is not an end but a beginning and as are all things of great value - it will not (by divine design) be easy.  Whatever price you pay and for whatever you suffer - it will be much more than worth it and it is more likely as you forgive and become aware, that you will walk with joy the rest of your life.

 

The Traveler

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you @Traveler  I prayed over this issue prior to going to my husband. And like I said my husband was very receptive of my wants. I appreciate your advice and your views. I’m not sure what forgiveness I need to accept (sorry if I’m interpreting things wrong) as I am not mad about my husband’s previous marriage or him keeping these items. I just simply want our day to be about us. And more me those items detract from that. I love my husband and with that comes his past present and future. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, Hello said:

Thank you @Traveler  I prayed over this issue prior to going to my husband. And like I said my husband was very receptive of my wants. I appreciate your advice and your views. I’m not sure what forgiveness I need to accept (sorry if I’m interpreting things wrong) as I am not mad about my husband’s previous marriage or him keeping these items. I just simply want our day to be about us. And more me those items detract from that. I love my husband and with that comes his past present and future. 

I am most impressed that you intend to work out things together with your husband.  I have wondered if Satan intended to separate Adam from Eve (approaching them separately) to tempt them such that they did not make the decision concerning partaking the fruit together.  As for forgiveness - If you are not aware of what I am referencing then it either has been addressed or it is not an issue.  Impressive - your husband is very lucky or blessed as are you.

 

The Traveler

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Traveler thank you. We’re definitely not perfect and It’s not always easy but we made a decision coming from two failed marriage to always communicate about everything. Even if its hard or uncomfortable we know that the key to a successful marriage is communicating. Especially if we find that something is weighing on us after prayer. If we’ve taken it to Heavenly Father and we still feel like our feelings need to be voiced we do and the other listens and we work it out together. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Hello said:

@Traveler thank you. We’re definitely not perfect and It’s not always easy but we made a decision coming from two failed marriage to always communicate about everything. Even if its hard or uncomfortable we know that the key to a successful marriage is communicating. 

Actually, the key to a successful marriage is forgiveness, especially forgiving without needing an "I'm sorry".

But yeah, communicating is important too.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, Hello said:

I agree forgiveness is a huge part. But in my opinion forgiveness is useless if neither of you are communicating. you have to be talking through the situations that could cause the need for forgiveness. Forgiveness is useless if there is no trust and trust is build on communicating. 

Not to belabor the point but communication is not required for forgiveness.  Want your marriage to succeed?  The first thing you do when you feel offended/hurt/etc by your husband is to forgive him.  That can happen without having talked to him first.  And, if there's no trust... you shouldn't have got married.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, anatess2 said:

Actually, the key to a successful marriage is forgiveness, especially forgiving without needing an "I'm sorry".

But yeah, communicating is important too.

 

I don't think there is key to a successful marriage.  There are a number of things that should be there.  Forgiveness and communication are both necessary.  If you are hurt/offended/etc by your spouse, you can forgive, but if you don't communicate about it, he/she will likely do it again and again.  He/she will miss an opportunity of growth, and your repeated forgiveness might change to resentment.  If you communicate how you were hurt/offended/etc but you don't forgive, then it'll keep coming up over and over in arguments or disagreements.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, dprh said:

I don't think there is key to a successful marriage.  There are a number of things that should be there.  Forgiveness and communication are both necessary.  If you are hurt/offended/etc by your spouse, you can forgive, but if you don't communicate about it, he/she will likely do it again and again.  He/she will miss an opportunity of growth, and your repeated forgiveness might change to resentment.  If you communicate how you were hurt/offended/etc but you don't forgive, then it'll keep coming up over and over in arguments or disagreements.

This is silly.  Communication is important not just in marriage.

But if you want your marriage to succeed - forgiveness is key.  Regardless of how many times your spouse does it over and over and over and over.  Having your forgiveness change to resentment means - you've lost the key.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry this post got off track. My marriage is happy and healthy, I was just wanting to ask about Temple clothing. Thank you all that answered my questions. My husband is so sweet and I know he’d do anything for me so I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being unfair to him. I appreciate all your thoughts! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Scott

This post may be borderline (feel free to moderate it if it is), but in my opinion the key to marriage is lots of (good) sex.

Communication and forgiveness just fall into place when you are having lot's of "bedroom loving".   😳

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share