Sign in to follow this  
Hello

Second marriage and temple garments

Recommended Posts

On 7/8/2019 at 5:20 PM, Hello said:

My husband and I will be sealed in the temple soon. My first sealing his second. He has temple garments already but it doesn’t feel right to me that he wear these at our sealing since he wore them at his first. Kind of like a bride wearing the same gown. These are the same temple garments he was endowed in so I explained that I don’t mind him keeping them but I would prefer he buy new to be sealed to me. My husband agreed. Am I reading to much into this? Am I wrong? 

Random guy on the internet comment. Yes, you are reading to much into wearing the same garments; however, I think it is wonderful that your husband agrees and is willing to make you feel more comfortable on an important day for you two.

This might be a stretch, as I understand the religious implication, but I don't see much difference than a guy who breaks up with a girl and then takes another girl out wearing the same attire he broke up with the previous girl.

But again, I think it is wonderful the choice your husband is making to purchase new garments. Good for him and you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@AnddenexI see your point although going on a date and pledging eternity to someone are totally different to me. I guess I just take the same way as an engagement ring or a wedding dress. You wouldn’t duplicate those. But again I think I’m reading into it but I know myself enough to know it would bother me as silly as it is. 

Edited by Hello

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, Hello said:

@AnddenexI see your point although going on a date and pledging eternity to someone are totally different to me. I guess I just take the same way as an engagement ring or a wedding dress. You wouldn’t duplicate those. But again I think I’m reading into it but I know myself enough to know it would bother me as silly as it is. 

This is what is most important for you and your husband. In that light, it doesn't matter what I think or anyone else thinks. The fact that you are about to be sealed to a man who is willing to make you comfortable is a great start and it shows his love for you! That is most important no matter how silly something maybe. It is something that can be changed very easily. Congrats to you both by the way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before I even read any of the replies my first thought was "There could be a distinct difference in answers and opinions based on whether the comments from a male or female.....".

 

As a female I absolutely knew how you felt about not wanting him to wear the same temple garments that he wore when he married his first wife.  Just as you stated - it's almost like a bride wearing the same gown to her second wedding.  But on the other hand, my own husband would have answered as the guys here did!  LOL.  He probably wouldn't have emotion tied to the garments and wonder why on earth I wouldn't want him to use them for 'our' wedding.  (And yes... he would have bought a different set or rented a different set if and when he knew it would bother me... just as your husband will do).  I think it's kind of a female thing to tie emotions to the clothing.  Not all females of course.  And not all males.  But generally speaking the guys are like, "Why wouldn't I just just wear the same ones?"  and the females are all... "Oh please don't wear the same ones you wore when you married her!"

 

:)

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/8/2019 at 5:20 PM, Hello said:

My husband and I will be sealed in the temple soon. My first sealing his second. He has temple garments already but it doesn’t feel right to me that he wear these at our sealing since he wore them at his first. Kind of like a bride wearing the same gown. These are the same temple garments he was endowed in so I explained that I don’t mind him keeping them but I would prefer he buy new to be sealed to me. My husband agreed. Am I reading to much into this? Am I wrong? 

@Hello, I understand where you are coming from. I married a divorced man who had previously been sealed. When we were sealed I requested we get sealed in a different temple than the one he and his ex were sealed in. When I was pregnant with our first child (his 3rd) I chose a birthing technique that would be unique to us. There were many other things that we have done to differentiate “us” as a couple. In fact, when I read about remarriage advice, doing things unique to the new couple can be beneficial to the marriage. It seems to especially be important to women. Things like getting a different bed than the previous couple’s bed is important. If moving into the same house as the previous couple, redecorating can be crucial so it becomes “our” house, etc.

Another, little anecdote from my marriage. My husband brought a beautiful set of china from his first marriage to ours. We would use it occasionally for special occasions. Over the years, whenever I would open the cupboard and see that set of china it would trigger unwelcome thoughts of his ex-wife. One day, about 25 years into our marriage, I happened to find a beautiful set of china at a yard sale and bought it. I was sitting in the car after buying that set of china and the tears just started to flow. I realized how much his old set of china had bothered me. I hadn’t even realized just how much. When I got home, I asked my husband if he would mind if we gave his old set to our daughter, who had recently gotten married. He was fine with it, and in fact, if he had known how I felt about that china all those years he would have long ago given it away. He had no emotional attachment to it. Since then I have acquired a second beautiful set of china, again found at a yard sale. These sets are “safe”, where they do not bring unwelcome thoughts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I could understand if it was a tux with a specific tie and cummerbund, but temple clothing are generally very generic.   I guess he could buy a new set, but honestly, I bet you couldn't tell which was which.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this