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Junior

1) Parents how do you sleep at night with a baby who wakes up all the time? 2) Is it okay to drink caffeinated drinks like red bull or monster?

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Hi, 

I feel like I haven't slept in 4 months :(. How do you sleep when your baby wakes up all throughout the night. sometimes for feeding and sometimes for no reason. My wife brings our daughter into our room and settles her then takes her back to the crib but about the second time the baby wakes my wife leaves her in our bed. I can't sleep with the baby in the bed because I am so aware she is there and I'm scared I may squash her. Also, I can't sleep through her cries, usually I just get 1 hour of sleep and by 1AM that's it. Also, three nights a week I work a night shift so I can go almost 40 hours with no sleep as I go straight to my day job. Please tell me how you sleep with a baby? 

Also, I feel kind of guilty because I drink so many cans of energy drinks every day and take some caffeine pills. Do you think it's bad? I feel like it is bad if I am addicted but I don't think I am addicted because if I could get enough sleep then I wouldn't drink them or take any pills. Although, I have realised I need to drink more and more to keep awake now than I did a couple of months ago. 

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I don’t quite understand the first paragraph—your wife puts baby with you to cosleep, but then leaves the room herself to sleep elsewhere?

I’m fortunate to be a heavy sleeper, and my wife is big on “sleep training” babies—basically, having a few nights of letting them cry it out and learning to self-soothe.  If our babies (six of them) were waking up at all at four months, it was only to feed once or twice and they were good at going right back to sleep afterwards.  I realize that doesn’t work for every baby, and there are “experts” who think it’s totally wrong.  But, it worked for us.  (Our kids may need to see a shrink in fifteen or twenty years, but you know what?  They’re alive, because we didn’t lose our heads and beat them, because we weren’t operating on no sleep for days at a time.  Parenting is all about trade-offs.)

I strongly recommend against co-sleeping.  A couple of years ago I represented a woman who had accidentally smothered her infant to death while cosleeping, and the court was trying to determine if she should be allowed to keep her other kids.  I realize that’s kind of a freak occurrence, but it’s not a fun situation to be in.  Go sleep in your car, if you have to; but don’t cosleep in a bed with baby.  

I’m sure others will weigh in on caffeine.  :satan:

Edited by Just_A_Guy

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Hi Junior,

This will suck until it doesn't any more.  It will get better - the kid will start sleeping better eventually.  You are doing your new parents thing of being sleep deprived to the point of almost going crazy.  This is not abnormal.

Hang in there bro.  

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17 hours ago, Junior said:

Hi, 

I feel like I haven't slept in 4 months :(. How do you sleep when your baby wakes up all throughout the night. sometimes for feeding and sometimes for no reason. My wife brings our daughter into our room and settles her then takes her back to the crib but about the second time the baby wakes my wife leaves her in our bed. I can't sleep with the baby in the bed because I am so aware she is there and I'm scared I may squash her. Also, I can't sleep through her cries, usually I just get 1 hour of sleep and by 1AM that's it. Also, three nights a week I work a night shift so I can go almost 40 hours with no sleep as I go straight to my day job. Please tell me how you sleep with a baby? 

Also, I feel kind of guilty because I drink so many cans of energy drinks every day and take some caffeine pills. Do you think it's bad? I feel like it is bad if I am addicted but I don't think I am addicted because if I could get enough sleep then I wouldn't drink them or take any pills. Although, I have realised I need to drink more and more to keep awake now than I did a couple of months ago. 

You gotta play hard ball from day one.

My wife and I just let our kid cry himself to sleep. We would do the nightly feedings, but if we woke up for some other reason, we would go check on him to make sure he was ok, the. Leave him in there to cry himself to sleep. 

By his second months he was only waking up for feeding. He is 15 months old now and has no idea sleeping in our bed is an option (because it isn’t and never will be). He doesn’t need anything to help him fall asleep (though we use a white noise machine so our noise doesn’t wake him). 

Now not all kids are going to be like mine. Sleep training him wasn’t easy, but he eventually got it down. 

Does your kid have any health issues or is he have Colic (sp?)?

If there are no health problems, just let him cry himself to sleep. If he doesn’t learn to self sooth, he will never be able to fall asleep without you  coddling  Him. And you will never get sleep.

There are lots of books and resources you can look up for this. I would recommend a book called Baby Wise.

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Sigh  once again you are asking for advice... which based on your history you will not take.  So why waste all of our time?

Knowing that it most likely fruitless I will advise you on the second question.  The Word of Wisdom has the Letter of the Law and the Spirit of the Law.  The letter of the Law is what the Church enforces with various worthiness interviews.  The Letter of the Law for the Word of Wisdom says nothing about caffeine or energy drinks.  Therefore you can pound down three during a interview and still pass.

For the Spirit of the Law the church directs us to study and ponder and pray about it and the follow the guidance given from the Spirit.  Because everyone is different and at a different place the Church makes no hard and fast rules at this level... Rather we are to be spirit directed.

In the Word of Wisdom it talks about being wise and using judgement and skill.  And biologically speaking there is nothing that is free.  You want to be awake and alert?  You pay for that by sleeping and resting.

Stimulants (like caffeine) allow you to temporary postpone paying.  They allow you to be awake and alert now... at the cost of paying more latter.  But make no mistake you have to pay it at some point.

Various studies have shown that Caffeine works as a stimulant for the first couple of days, but after that people build up a tolerance and they have to have it to keep from feeling like crap.  (aka paying the price).  Thus being a bit addictive.  Of course if you stop caffeine and pay the price in about a month or so the tolerance fades and it becomes effective again.

So if you have a short term need for Alertness caffeine (in its various forms) can be a rock star.  But for anything lasting more then a day or two... nothing works like diet, exercise and rest. So you need to prayerfully ask yourself is caffeine/energy drinks really the right answer for you in what will be a condition that is going to last awhile?  Is that really the path you should take/want to take?

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20 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

Hi Junior,

This will suck until it doesn't any more.  It will get better - the kid will start sleeping better eventually.  You are doing your new parents thing of being sleep deprived to the point of almost going crazy.  This is not abnormal.

Hang in there bro.  

When do you think the baby will sleep through she is 17 weeks now. My mom said after 12 weeks all of her kids slept through the night. My wife says that our daughter sleeps well during the day but at night it's so bad. 

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4 hours ago, estradling75 said:

Sigh  once again you are asking for advice... which based on your history you will not take.  So why waste all of our time?

 

1) you're wrong 

2) you have wasted your time because I won't read your answer

3) don't talk to me again 

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21 hours ago, The Folk Prophet said:

Not getting enough sleep and then compensating with heavy caffeine use long term is a sure way to end up with health problems.

My insides do not feel great

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4 hours ago, Fether said:

 If there are no health problems, just let him cry himself to sleep. If he doesn’t learn to self sooth, he will never be able to fall asleep without you  coddling  Him. And you will never get sleep.

 

I have a daughter. 

 

4 hours ago, Fether said:

He is 15 months old now and has no idea sleeping in our bed is an option (because it isn’t and never will be).

It's strange how looked down upon a family bed is in the USA. It's pretty normal in Tongan culture, I don't know if we will do it but I think it is fine once the child sleeps like the parents. I slept with my parents until my younger sister was born and then I had to leave so she wouldn't wake me up but once she slept through I went back. I don't think it's bad for the child. 

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5 hours ago, Fether said:

 Does your kid have any health issues or is he have Colic (sp?)?

 

I guess we still aren't 100 percent sure if our daughter has any health conditions. She has had 2 checkups and they have been fine but I think you never fully know the baby is 100 percent health wise. 

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33 minutes ago, Junior said:

It's strange how looked down upon a family bed is in the USA. It's pretty normal in Tongan culture, I don't know if we will do it but I think it is fine once the child sleeps like the parents. I slept with my parents until my younger sister was born and then I had to leave so she wouldn't wake me up but once she slept through I went back. I don't think it's bad for the child

Well... I don’t think it’s “bad”... but your complaining about how your kid waking up  is keeping you up.

My son doesn’t wake us up when he wakes in the middle of the night.

Why?

Cause he isn’t in our bed.

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@Junior bro just tell your wife not to bring the baby into bed with you. Tell her to settle the baby back into their crib. Your wife can go without sleep at night because she can nap during the day when the baby naps. You need your sleep. 

Only experience I have is my 3 younger siblings, I remember helping my mom and the best way to re settle them was to stay with them whilst they are in the crib. Don't take them out just wait and usually with in 20 mins they would have cried themselves to exhaustion and be back asleep. 

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42 minutes ago, Junior said:

When do you think the baby will sleep through she is 17 weeks now. My mom said after 12 weeks all of her kids slept through the night. My wife says that our daughter sleeps well during the day but at night it's so bad. 

Your kid won’t sleep through the night until it figures out how to fall asleep on its own without the cuddling of her parents.

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1 hour ago, Junior said:

When do you think the baby will sleep through she is 17 weeks now. My mom said after 12 weeks all of her kids slept through the night. My wife says that our daughter sleeps well during the day but at night it's so bad. 

Anywhere from 17 weeks to 2 years.  Depends on the baby.  

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The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) discourages bed-sharing for the sole purpose of reducing the risk of suffocation. Bed-sharing with an infant exposes the infant to pillows, blankets, and bodies, all of which pose a suffocation hazard for an infant. (remember, the recommendation is a crib with nothing more than a tight fitted mattress sheet and the infant swaddled in a blanket)

If you're worried about rolling onto the infant and hurting her, you might consider a sleeper you can put her in inside the bed (https://www.target.com/p/baby-delight-snuggle-nest-dream-portable-infant-sleeper-gray-scribbles/-/A-51734772). A side sleeper is another option, but they tend to be considerably more expensive.

I'm not a huge fan of sleep training, myself.  But I was fortunate to have a job where I could go in late if I didn't get a good night's sleep, or just use vacation time if it was a really bad day. Not everyone has the same luxuries, and so sleep training may be the way to go. Ultimately, healthy, well adjusted, and happy parents raise healthy, well adjusted, happy children.  So do whatever keeps you sane.

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On 8/3/2019 at 11:16 PM, JGarcia said:

@Junior bro just tell your wife not to bring the baby into bed with you. Tell her to settle the baby back into their crib. Your wife can go without sleep at night because she can nap during the day when the baby naps. You need your sleep. 

 

I did suggest that to her once but she said she doesn't sleep well because she is always sort of listening out for the baby, so she is tired too.  I do need some sleep soon though as I actually have had to stop driving my car on my own because I dozed off at the wheel for like 40 seconds, so now I ride my bike which tires me out more but is way safer. 

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On 8/3/2019 at 11:47 PM, NeuroTypical said:

Anywhere from 17 weeks to 2 years.  Depends on the baby.  

I hope it is 17 weeks 😂

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4 hours ago, MarginOfError said:

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) discourages bed-sharing for the sole purpose of reducing the risk of suffocation. Bed-sharing with an infant exposes the infant to pillows, blankets, and bodies, all of which pose a suffocation hazard for an infant. (remember, the recommendation is a crib with nothing more than a tight fitted mattress sheet and the infant swaddled in a blanket)

 If you're worried about rolling onto the infant and hurting her, you might consider a sleeper you can put her in inside the bed (https://www.target.com/p/baby-delight-snuggle-nest-dream-portable-infant-sleeper-gray-scribbles/-/A-51734772). A side sleeper is another option, but they tend to be considerably more expensive.

I'm not a huge fan of sleep training, myself.  But I was fortunate to have a job where I could go in late if I didn't get a good night's sleep, or just use vacation time if it was a really bad day. Not everyone has the same luxuries, and so sleep training may be the way to go. Ultimately, healthy, well adjusted, and happy parents raise healthy, well adjusted, happy children.  So do whatever keeps you sane.

ooo that's cool I will buy it.

 

I am not healthy right now I think I would be diagnosed with exhaustion 

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