Unnanounced!

[Princess3dward]

There is a friend of mine who was complaining about LDS members coming without calling. This only started happening after they left the church.

I was like , "HEY! SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME!" because I am a loud person, and I yell everything.

Anyway, we got the response from an RM that:

"As a Mormon missionary, we always preferred to make unannounced visits in person instead of calling. From my perspective at the time, our goals to teach people and commit them to meetings were much more reachable if we could talk face to face. This was especially true for inactive members. "

We all still agreed that picking up a phone and catching us coming out of the shower (which would ALWAYS happen to me) or during dinner is not very polite.

Is it worth it to come unannounced?

Do you actually have better luck talking to us that way?

In all honesty, I was nice to them, but they picked up I was not interested, and I sent my BF to talk to the missionaries. He is very assertive where as I am not.

I guess my main question is, because we are inactive, does that mean that you can't call us on the phone anymore? I am just as polite on the phone or in an email as I am in person. I will not lash out. I will just politely say I don't want a visit today. I will call you when I am ready.

[Gwen]

i've always heard it's best to call anyone and make an appt when you can. i prefer ppl to call me before a visit, even it it's can we come by in 15 min. i like the warning. i have had unannounced visits that were to my advantage and have been greatful for them. one time the rs pres showed up, said, "i was in town, had some extra time and felt i should drop by and see if you needed anything" it was a bad day for me and the kids were crazy, it was after lunch and i still had yet to shower and dress like a normal person. i just laughed and said if you really want to help i'd like to have a shower. she came in, read stories to the kids while i showered and dressed; only took about 15 min and was gone again.

as far as when they won't make an appt. sometimes it's cultural. we have a family here that never calls before comeing to our home. i've made appts with them before and they forget and are never there. but if you just show up they are not offended. it's who they are. you are invited to join whatever they are doing. one time we showed up and they were cleaning a pig. that was interesting. lol

we also have some inactives that won't answer the phone when you call. they won't make appts or make appts and then aren't home when you show up, and sometimes you know they are there but they pretend they are not. but then they turn around and don't hesitate to call you and say i need something (favor or whatever) right now. they don't feel guilty about calling me with no notice to ask for service so i don't feel to guilty about showing up and asking them to take the time to hear what i have to share. lol

anyway, i guess i'm saying there could be lots of reasons any one person may choose to call or not to call. i don't think there is a rule of don't call inactives first. at least not around here. lol

[Princess3dward]

we also have some inactives that won't answer the phone when you call. they won't make appts or make appts and then aren't home when you show up, and sometimes you know they are there but they pretend they are not.

They never even tried to call though. lol.

[Elphaba]

This is a huge pet peeve of mine.

Because I am disabled I live with my mother (who was extremely kind to take me in). She is LDS, and I have lost count of how many times people from the Church have just stopped by with no warning whatsoever.

One time my daughter had had some friends over for a slumber party and in the morning they were watching a movie. The door rang and it was women from the Relief Society. My mother actually got angry with my daughter and her friends for making a mess. I told her it was the RS womens' fault, since they didn't see fit to call and let you know they were coming.

There are so many things you could be doing when someone stops by unexpedetly, such as making love, or having a serious conversation with a spouse, or entertaining guests, that it is unthinkable to me to just stop by the way so many LDS people do.

I realize it is not only LDS, but I agree wth al-Mom that it is part of the culture, because I have lived in areas were LDS were not the prominent religion, and people NEVER came over without calling first. I think it is extremely rude to show up at someone's door without a phone call, and as I said above, this is probably the one issue I have with the Church.

Bottom line: To show up unannounced is rude! Please call before you come to visit to ensure you're not interrupting anything important!

Elphaba

[Palerider]

There is a friend of mine who was complaining about LDS members coming without calling. This only started happening after they left the church.

I was like , "HEY! SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME!" because I am a loud person, and I yell everything.

Anyway, we got the response from an RM that:

"As a Mormon missionary, we always preferred to make unannounced visits in person instead of calling. From my perspective at the time, our goals to teach people and commit them to meetings were much more reachable if we could talk face to face. This was especially true for inactive members. "

We all still agreed that picking up a phone and catching us coming out of the shower (which would ALWAYS happen to me) or during dinner is not very polite.

Is it worth it to come unannounced?

Do you actually have better luck talking to us that way?

In all honesty, I was nice to them, but they picked up I was not interested, and I sent my BF to talk to the missionaries. He is very assertive where as I am not.

I guess my main question is, because we are inactive, does that mean that you can't call us on the phone anymore? I am just as polite on the phone or in an email as I am in person. I will not lash out. I will just politely say I don't want a visit today. I will call you when I am ready.

why go to all that trouble......just tell them you would not like any visits....If you don't tell someone what you want....you won't get it.....should they call ahead...perhaps so....I have no idea why they don't....I skipped school the day they offered mind reading classes..... :)

[hanne_line]

People from church always call me before they come visiting, both missionaries and other members, but sometimes they call only minutes before they arrive at my house.

That is not always too fun experience ( I have kids that love to make a mess ), but they do call and I just let them into my messy home, lol

What I think is more difficult to handle is all the calls I get with questions on if I can go help everywhere at homes to people I`ve never even seen. Wonder if I can get someone to come help me clean my home some times?? I really have more than enough with my own home, but I keep say yes to all those calls even if it is not good for me.

Hanne Line

[RodAZ]

We usually have not been inconvenienced by missionaries or hometeachers just dropping by. My wife doesn't like the visiting teachers to just drop by unannounced.

BUT, we had some really cool neighbors that we discussed the gospel topics with. We moved and have stayed in touch. We referred them to the missionaries and the Elders kept just dropping by. These ARE NOT the kind of people you just drop by on. They asked the missionaries to CALL FIRST, please. Would they ever do that ... NO! Now they have really cooled off to the idea of having the missionaries over.

They should call and set up apppointments when asked to do so. Come on!

I think it is only the Last-of-the-Month hometeachers that just drop by anyway.

[Alaskagain]

. . .

we also have some inactives that won't answer the phone when you call. they won't make appts or make appts and then aren't home when you show up, and sometimes you know they are there but they pretend they are not.

. . .

Yes, sometimes it's cultural -- it is far more common to have drop-ins in the south and on the plains than in New England. Don't know why. But I did hear that's where "southern hospitality" comes from. When you are sitting on your front porch fanning yourself, and someone walks up unannounced, you are obviously home, and they have seen you. You either have to pretend you have just that moment become deceased, or smile and say "Have a nice cold lemonade!"

[Princess3dward]

I only had it happen after I left the church.

I moved a few hundred times and shook them, then lectured my dad about giving out my address.

I NEVER had that problem when I was a member though.

I was invisible as a member.

[mmm12345]

I only had it happen after I left the church.

I moved a few hundred times and shook them, then lectured my dad about giving out my address.

I NEVER had that problem when I was a member though.

I was invisible as a member.

D - why did you leave the church? If you don't mind me asking....

[Princess3dward]

I wrote a blog about it, but in short (VERY short), it was causing severe depression in my life, and (to me anyway) it doesn't make any sense.

[Palerider]

I only had it happen after I left the church.

I moved a few hundred times and shook them, then lectured my dad about giving out my address.

I NEVER had that problem when I was a member though.

I was invisible as a member.

just tell them not to come.....

[Annabelli]

I have termed some members "missionary" experience as "The Yo-Yo Effect." That is to say that regular attending members will shun a person until they stop attending. Shun to mean either being verbally/etiquette rude or just not talking to them (invisible). When that person/family stops coming (about 4-6 weeks later), members will start pestering them until they come back. Again being snotty to them or not including them and again those folks leave vowing never to return. Then it becomes an ongoing cycle.