Living with LDS boyfriend, wanting to become member.

[Amberlee]

My boyfriend grew up in the church but was never baptized. I grew up in a very sinful Antichristian household. I moved in with him and his family due to issue at home. Now we go to church on Sunday and I really enjoy it and feel the Holy Spirit there and want to become a member. My boyfriend says he’ll get baptized with me but we can’t be baptized until after we get married. I’m working on myself and becoming more Christ like (reprogramming myself from my childhood). Would it still be good for us to do lessons with the missionaries and go to Sunday school even though we won’t be able to be baptized member of the church for quite a while before we can get married.

[Guest Mores]

1 hour ago, Amberlee said:

My boyfriend grew up in the church but was never baptized. I grew up in a very sinful Antichristian household. I moved in with him and his family due to issue at home. Now we go to church on Sunday and I really enjoy it and feel the Holy Spirit there and want to become a member. My boyfriend says he’ll get baptized with me but we can’t be baptized until after we get married. I’m working on myself and becoming more Christ like (reprogramming myself from my childhood). Would it still be good for us to do lessons with the missionaries and go to Sunday school even though we won’t be able to be baptized member of the church for quite a while before we can get married.

Short answer:  Yes, it would be beneficial.  It certainly couldn't hurt.  It doesn't take long.  And there is a requirement that have to go through the missionaries for the formalities of the baptism.  It's a rule for anyone 9 y.o. and over.  

Long answer: Yes, it would be beneficial.  It certainly couldn't hurt.  It doesn't take long.  And there is a requirement that have to go through the missionaries for the formalities of the baptism.  It's a rule for anyone 9 y.o. and over.   But it depends on what you hope to gain out of it.

If you and your boyfriend have both had enough exposure that you understand all the basic beliefs, then lessons with the missionaries are not going to help you any further.  They are, after all, only the basic stuff.  Further understanding will come with time, exposure, activity, study, and prayer.

You also get a chance to hear the missionaries bear their testimonies to you.  If you listen with your heart, a pure testimony will always uplift you.

Edited August 13, 2019 by Mores

[scottyg]

Absolutely! The missionaries would be tickled pink if you contacted them.  Their main goal isn't to baptize people per se, but to help others become converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ...two different things. Baptism is a part of it, but contacting them now to be taught and learn more while you and your boyfriend progress would be great. The same can be said for the Bishop of your ward...I'm sure he is overjoyed to have you at church, and you will always be welcome there. 

That being said, how long is "quite a while"? When you do get married, make sure you get baptized and join the church for the right reasons. The missionaries and Bishop will tell you this as well, but your main focus needs to be on having faith in Jesus Christ. It, like marriage, is a commitment meant to last.

[Amberlee]

4 minutes ago, Mores said:

Further understanding will come with time, exposure, activity, study, and prayer.

You also get a chance to hear the missionaries bear their testimonies to you.  If you listen with your heart, a pure testimony will always uplift you.

So since we can’t be baptized until after marriage which won’t be happening soon sadly,  talking with the missionaries wouldn’t be too helpful other than the social and testimony. But going to Sunday school and studying would be better for now? When we get married the missionaries would be more helpful to us in order to work towards our baptism?

4 minutes ago, scottyg said:

how long is "quite a while"? When you do get married, make sure you get baptized and join the church for the right reasons. 

Probably a year or two before we get married. I’m joining the church because I believe Jesus is my savior and that this is his real church. We’ve talked to the bishop already and he said he’d set something up with the missionaries to visit us and have lessons. 

[estradling75]

Welcome @Amberlee  

Do you understand why you are being asked to wait until marriage?

[Amberlee]

6 minutes ago, estradling75 said:

Welcome @Amberlee  

Do you understand why you are being asked to wait until marriage?

So I know this is not exact but the way I see it is that though cohabitation is not necessary a sin things that come with it are and when we get married we have the chance to repent without repeating the sin before baptism.   

[estradling75]

Just now, Amberlee said:

So I know this is not exact but the way I see it is that though cohabitation is not necessary a sin things that come with it are and when we get married we have the chance to repent without repeating the sin before baptism.   

Indeed...   The sin in this case is breaking the Law of Chasity which is simply put no fornication and no adultery.  And you are right... cohabitation is not necessarily breaking the Law Chasity but it makes it so very easy and huge temptation. (Plus the whole appearance of evil thing)

As you grow and learn the Gospel living the Law of Chasity is one of the things Christ will want you to do.  (Missionaries will help teach this).  Once you learn this for yourself... God is going to expect you to live it (To the best of your abilities).

If marriage is not right (which it may not be at this time).. you might need to look to other alternatives to fulfilling God's commands.  That can also be very hard, but the scriptures are very clear that once we know God's will concerning us we should not procrastinate it.

We know this... which is why members will be encouraging you to move in one direction or the other. (Marriage being the most likely direction.  Separating is also possible)

 

[Jane_Doe]

8 hours ago, Amberlee said:

My boyfriend grew up in the church but was never baptized. I grew up in a very sinful Antichristian household. I moved in with him and his family due to issue at home. Now we go to church on Sunday and I really enjoy it and feel the Holy Spirit there and want to become a member. My boyfriend says he’ll get baptized with me but we can’t be baptized until after we get married. I’m working on myself and becoming more Christ like (reprogramming myself from my childhood). Would it still be good for us to do lessons with the missionaries and go to Sunday school even though we won’t be able to be baptized member of the church for quite a while before we can get married.

Hi @Amberlee, welcome to the forum, and (more importantly) welcome to learning about Christ's Gospel.

Any steps you and your boyfriend can take along the path of discipleship would be a great thing for both you, him, and your relationship.  You're welcome at church on Sunday and any other activities as well.  Of course, scripture reading and prayer are powerful foundations.  If you'd like, you can also request a Ministering Sister/Brother.  And yes, meeting with the missionaries and learning more of the Gospel is of course wonderful.