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Guest Mores

What Do You Want On Your Tombstone?

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Guest Mores

No, I'm not talking about pizza...

The other day I was explaining to my son why he has to change who he is.  While it is fun to be sarcastic and annoying, do you really want that to be the first thing people think of when they describe you?  What do you want to be known for?

I hope I'm known for being a good and loving father and husband.  More than anything else, I hope people remember that about me when I'm gone.

Then I got wind of the thread about women wearing pants to church.  Is that what you want people to remember about you?  "I want them to remember that I wore pants to church!!!"  Ok.  Sure.  Sounds good.  Then Sonia Johnson came up.  Do you know what it says on her wikipedia page?

Quote

Known for:

Supporter of the Equal Rights Amendment, excommunicated by LDS Church

WOW.  And I've looked on other websites.  Whenever they introduce her or describe her, they cite these two facts about her.  Is that by her own request?  UGH!!!  I certainly hope not.  But maybe it is... eww.

How would it feel to be known for those two facts about your life?  What kind of private hell must she be living in right now.  And when standing before the bar of God...  I really feel sorry for her.  But it's not too late.  If she'd only repent and come back.

I have to wonder what her friends and family think of when they think about her.  Is it those same two facts?  I would venture to guess -- yes.  She's made both those facts central to her life's work.  Her books.  Her public engagements.  He speeches and interviews...  She gave up what could have been an idyllic life to pursue misguided ideals.  What else does she have to define her?  I really would like to know.  What does she want on her tombstone?  And what has she done to achieve that?

Thomas Jefferson (as an aside) asked to have "Author of the Declaration of Independence" on his tombstone.  Yeah, that's a pretty good one.

How about you?  What do you want on your tombstone?  And what have you done to achieve that?

Edited by Mores

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I read a biography earlier this year about Henrietta Swan Leavitt (famous in astronomy and also my distant cousin) where I encountered her obituary written by her colleague, Solon Bailey.

“Miss Leavitt inherited, in a somewhat chastened form, the stern virtues of her puritan ancestors. She took life seriously. Her sense of duty, justice and loyalty was strong. For light amusements she appeared to care little. She was a devoted member of her intimate family circle, unselfishly considerate in her friendships, steadfastly loyal to her principles, and deeply conscientious and sincere in her attachment to her religion and church. She had the happy faculty of appreciating all that was worthy and lovable in others, and was possessed of a nature so full of sunshine that, to her, all of life became beautiful and full of meaning.”

I would love to hear others say the same about me. Definitely lots here I need to work on.

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39 minutes ago, Mores said:

I have to wonder what her friends and family think of when they think about her.

I seem to remember that Sonia Johnson publicly disowned her children. So her private hell, like all such private hells, appears to be of her own creation, and reflects how she prefers to structure reality. Perhaps she is worthy of pity, but always with the realization that she appears to have freely chosen and embraced her situation. We are all sinful, but only those who reject their sin can repent. Those who revel in it are lost by their own choice.

Of course, the reality of a woman's life is much more complicated than can be analyzed in a paragraph, so we are in no position to judge the spiritual state of Sonia Johnson beyond the obvious. But I confess I don't feel much pity for her. I just want her and her influence far away from my family and those I love.

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I have decided that when I die - whatever happens among those still living is going to be up to them.  I have left some stories and testimonies in family search and plan to add more - but it will be up to someone else if such is to be read or not.  My body, as a last gift and act of giving, I have designated to be donated to science.  I figure I will be done with it until the resurrection and if anyone can get any additional benefit of it - let them.  I do not care what is on my tombstone - or if I even have one.  I figure such things are for the living - not the dead and I will be dead.

I do not have any funeral desires - whatever the living wish is fine with me.  I have no plans to let anyone know when I die.  If someone living wants others to know - I am sure they can handle it themselves.  I do not want to burden anyone with my passing - I do not want anyone to feel or think they must do something to make me happy or finish anything for me - I am already happy and thankful for life.  I am not hoping to die anytime soon - but I know it will come in its time.  I hope to continue to live (cycle, ski and other things) while I am alive.

When I die - I will do what best I can for G-d and family in whatever comes next.  @mirkwood jokes that he will have some influence with the living.  I intend to be active in family covenants and the kingdom of G-d for both the living and the dead.  And I do look forward, somewhat in faith, to meeting ancestors that did so much for their descendants (including myself).  I look forward to meeting again Saints of many generations and especially Christ, Father and Mother.  Perhaps others in this forum will be eternal friends and we will meet.  But all such things I leave to its proper place and time.  

If I could have any request - it would be to be healthy until the passing of my wife - and then I would pass that moment with her if such could be allowed.  But if required I will continue in hope and faith that family and divine covenants will remain after all else.

 

The Traveler

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I want my maiden name and middle name to be missing. I don't really want a headstone.  I would rather be cremated and my ashed made into a diamond or scattered on my mountain.  If I have to be buried then I want a natural graveyard and huge monster rock placed over me and some flowering bush or tree around. 

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20 hours ago, Traveler said:

have decided that when I die - whatever happens among those still living is going to be up to them.  I have left some stories and testimonies in family search and plan to add more - but it will be up to someone else if such is to be read or not.  My body, as a last gift and act of giving, I have designated to be donated to science.  I figure I will be done with it until the resurrection and if anyone can get any additional benefit of it - let them.  I do not care what is on my tombstone - or if I even have one.  I figure such things are for the living - not the dead and I will be dead.

I do not have any funeral desires - whatever the living wish is fine with me.  I have no plans to let anyone know when I die.  If someone living wants others to know - I am sure they can handle it themselves.  I do not want to burden anyone with my passing - I do not want anyone to feel or think they must do something to make me happy or finish anything for me - I am already happy and thankful for life.  I am not hoping to die anytime soon - but I know it will come in its time.  I hope to continue to live (cycle, ski and other things) while I am alive.

I'm the same way. Maybe I view myself as young and immortal, but I really can't get myself to care what becomes of my remains.

I don't want a big fuss. I think science would be a great route.

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