Ward Boundary Changes


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From what I understand, a person or family does not HAVE to attend the ward that they are geographically assigned to.  Anyone is welcome to attend any ward or building they'd like.  The leaders will probably strongly encourage you to attend the 'proper' ward.  But I don't think many bishops will tell a person to stop coming because they don't live in the boundaries.  I've witnessed the exact opposite on multiple occasions.  I've even seen some families get their records moved to ward they don't live in.  It's not usual, but it's an option.

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 I have talked to people who helped reorganize wards.  They just looked at where to find the best numbers of men. One told me that they were told to spilt the wealthy and poor sections of town to try and equalize the ward. It was like 2 wards in one. They never mixed. 

The town I live in has 16k people and 4 wards.  A couple years ago, the boundaries were realigned.  We kept the same number of wards.  I've talked with some people who have been involved.  They (the ones I talked to, not saying it's universal) looked at city and school boundaries, natural (mountains, valleys, etc) areas, number of children, number of tithe payers, Melchizedek priesthood holders, families that hold FHE, future development sites, and more. 

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4 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

but that also results in lots of cliques and listening only to your own "in" group.

That happens in all churches, I think. Actually, it happens in all places where humans gather. 

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7 minutes ago, dprh said:

From what I understand, a person or family does not HAVE to attend the ward that they are geographically assigned to.  Anyone is welcome to attend any ward or building they'd like

All true, though from what my bishop told me, only the assigned bishop can give you a temple recommend, so it forces your hand a bit. I could be wrong, this is what he told me. 

Edited by MormonGator
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36 minutes ago, dprh said:

From what I understand, a person or family does not HAVE to attend the ward that they are geographically assigned to.  Anyone is welcome to attend any ward or building they'd like.  The leaders will probably strongly encourage you to attend the 'proper' ward.  But I don't think many bishops will tell a person to stop coming because they don't live in the boundaries.  I've witnessed the exact opposite on multiple occasions.  I've even seen some families get their records moved to ward they don't live in.  It's not usual, but it's an option.

It would indeed be unusual for a bishop to say to a family, "Don't come to this ward any more." Short of the people being a disruption to the meetings, I can't really see a bishop ever saying this.

But the mere fact that you can do something doesn't mean it's okay to do it. Suggesting so is like saying that since drinking Mountain Death is not specifically prohibited by the Word of Wisdom, therefor it's okay. In logical terms, that's non sequitur, which is just Latin for "doesn't follow". Being minimally qualified for a temple recommend is hardly the same as being fit for exaltation. This is not meant by way of condemnation (because I'd be condemning myself more than anyone else), just as a statement of what should be obvious truth.

With very few exceptions, people should attend the ward to which they're assigned. And the problem with the first four words of the previous sentence is that almost everyone who wants to attend another ward thinks s/he is "exceptional".

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36 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

All true, though from what my bishop told me, only the assigned bishop can give you a temple recommend, so it forces your hand a bit. I could be wrong, this is what he told me. 

Your bishop is correct. Only the bishopric of your own ward can or will sign your temple recommend. Only that bishopric is empowered to give you the recommend. No other bishop has the keys to do so; in approximate legal terms, they don't have "jurisdiction".

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7 minutes ago, Vort said:

It would indeed be unusual for a bishop to say to a family, "Don't come to this ward any more." Short of the people being a disruption to the meetings, I can't really see a bishop ever saying this.

But the mere fact that you can do something doesn't mean it's okay to do it. Suggesting so is like saying that since drinking Mountain Death is not specifically prohibited by the Word of Wisdom, therefor it's okay. In logical terms, that's non sequitur, which is just Latin for "doesn't follow". Being minimally qualified for a temple recommend is hardly the same as being fit for exaltation. This is not meant by way of condemnation (because I'd be condemning myself more than anyone else), just as a statement of what should be obvious truth.

With very few exceptions, people should attend the ward to which they're assigned. And the problem with the first four words of the previous sentence is that almost everyone who wants to attend another ward thinks s/he is "exceptional".

So basically, if you don't fit in with the ward-even if you've tried for years-you should just suck it up and be lonely and miserable? 

 

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2 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

So basically, if you don't fit in with the ward-even if you've tried for years-you should just suck it up and be lonely and miserable? 

 

No need to be lonely and miserable.  It's 2 hours a week.  One of those hours you're taking the Sacrament and listening to inspired talks.   

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Just now, Grunt said:

No need to be lonely and miserable.  It's 2 hours a week.  One of those hours you're taking the Sacrament and listening to inspired talks.   

It's not that easy, especially for LDS who rely on the ward for their friendships. If you really don't fit in with your ward, it can be very hard. I've spoken to missionaries who feel this way, other members who feel this way. My heart breaks for them. 

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Just now, MormonGator said:

It's not that easy, especially for LDS who rely on the ward for their friendships. If you really don't fit in with your ward, it can be very hard. I've spoken to missionaries who feel this way, other members who feel this way. My heart breaks for them. 

I feel for them, but I don't get why it's "miserable".  Maybe it's just because I'm a convert, or that I live in such a rural area that most of us don't rely on other members for social events and friendships.  I would imagine it could be far more difficult in other areas.  My experience in many different wards, while most of them are just visits, has been that they are friendly and welcoming.  Sometimes maybe the issue isn't the ward.  

For example:  Some may remember in my "Missionaries" thread I spoke about the woman who made me feel very uncomfortable as an investigator.  I found her to be very rude.  I now realize this is just her personality.  Everyone winks and nods because "it's her".   I would imagine that she'd have a hard time in another ward that didn't know her if she acted that way.

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15 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

So basically, if you don't fit in with the ward-even if you've tried for years-you should just suck it up and be lonely and miserable?

The notion that your only two options are "fit in" or "lonely and miserable" is a false notion.

I've been not fitting in in most of my real life social circles for 4 decades now.  I am only lonely and miserable in one of those circles.  The rest of them, including church, people have figured out how to deal with me, and I'm fine being my odd self.

For me personally, a huge part of me being ok with this status quo, has something to do with the ability to serve.  I get to contribute and make a difference in all these social circles, so even though I don't fit in, I do reap the blessings of service.  My circle that has me miserable, is one where my service isn't wanted. 

Edited by NeuroTypical
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There is a straight forward... church approved process for any individual or family to be in the Ward they desire...  It called MOVE.

Moving is not easy but it if is that important to you.. you can and the church will say nothing about it.

If however one makes excuses that moving is too hard and they can not do so... They have done there own individual cost befit analysis and have determined that for them it is not worth it.

I have no sympathy for some one that is unwilling to do the work necessary to get what they want... but are totally willing to complain and expect others to do more work so that they can.

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Just now, NeuroTypical said:

The rest of them, including church, people have figured out how to deal with me, and I'm find being my odd self.

You just proved my point. If the ward, and the people, choose not to deal with you, or don't know how, or just ignore you, then yes, you'll feel out of place and yes, lonely and miserable. 

 

1 minute ago, estradling75 said:

There is a straight forward... church approved process for any individual or family to be in the Ward they desire...  It called MOVE.

So if a person loves their job, their lives, their houses, their community-everything but their ward you expect them to drop everything and move? 

 

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5 minutes ago, Grunt said:

Maybe it's just because I'm a convert, or that I live in such a rural area that most of us don't rely on other members for social events and friendships.

I understand. I'm a convert too, and I don't rely on my ward for friendships or social events. However, "just" going to a ward for sacrament meeting, classes, cleaning the chapel and service projects with people who you have nothing in common with and seem to ignore you can be extremely difficult. 

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19 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

So basically, if you don't fit in with the ward-even if you've tried for years-you should just suck it up and be lonely and miserable?

My observation (which you may not like) is that those who complain and moan about their ward and how they don't "fit in" are mostly unhappy pretty much anywhere they go, including their old ward. Some people just like to complain and take the negative view.

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1 minute ago, Vort said:

My observation (which you may not like) is that those who complain and moan about their ward and how they don't "fit in" are mostly unhappy pretty much anywhere they go, including their old ward. Some people just like to complain and take the negative view.

Doesn't bother me at all. It would only bother me if I thought you were right, to be honest.  Which I don't, so it doesn't 

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1 minute ago, MormonGator said:

So if a person loves their job, their lives, their houses, their community-everything but their ward you expect them to drop everything and move?

Nope...  I expect them to be a rational person that weight the pros and cons of the choices they make.  And then accept the consequences of said choice.  If I think my ward sucks... but I find the costs of going else where to be too high, then I need to realize I have chosen to be in a sucky ward .And own that choice.  That is the position of personal power and happiness.  If however I complain that the rest of the world needs to change to fit me I will be forever miserable

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1 minute ago, estradling75 said:

Nope...  I expect them to be a rational person that weight the pros and cons of the choices they make.  And then accept the consequences of said choice.  If I think my ward sucks... but I find the costs of going else where to be too high, then I need to realize I have chosen to be in a sucky ward .And own that choice.  That is the position of personal power and happiness.  If however I complain that the rest of the world needs to change to fit me I will be forever miserable

That doesn't make sense. If they moved to a new location because of a job or something, they didn't have the chance to visit the ward beforehand, they were just assigned one. It's taking the power out of their hands.  They didn't make a "choice". 

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Just now, MormonGator said:

That doesn't make sense. If they moved to a new location because of a job or something, they didn't have the chance to visit the ward beforehand, they were just assigned one. It's taking the power out of their hands.  They didn't make a "choice". 

And everyone in the ward gets along except them?

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Just now, Grunt said:

And everyone in the ward gets along except them?

That could make it more difficult. If the ward is cliquey, well established and already has a social network installed, it could be hard for a visitor/new person to find their way in it. 

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Just now, MormonGator said:

That doesn't make sense. If they moved to a new location because of a job or something, they didn't have the chance to visit the ward beforehand, they were just assigned one. It's taking the power out of their hands.  They didn't make a "choice". 

Bullcrap... You are saying "OH noes everyone else is moving me around like a pawn and the only way I can get what want is if some one else gives it to me."   That is the mindset of misery and lack of agency. And people need to grow out of it

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22 minutes ago, MormonGator said:
26 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

The rest of them, including church, people have figured out how to deal with me, and I'm find being my odd self.

You just proved my point. If the ward, and the people, choose not to deal with you, or don't know how, or just ignore you, then yes, you'll feel out of place and yes, lonely and miserable. 

Maybe I'm doing a bad job of explaining, or maybe our situations are just different.  I'm naturally so introverted as to be borderline reclusive.  I was like 7 years old when I first thought of my life in terms of "stuff I need to do in order to get along with the humans".   I suppose folks who are naturally social creatures, who yearn for lots of meaningful friendships and connections, would have a different experience than me.  

I get to attend church, partake of the sacrament, serve in a calling, help in the occasional service project.  Folks occasionally recognize and appreciate my efforts.  I am spiritually fulfilled, and full of gratitude for all this, and feel no lack.   As I walk by people in the foyer, I hear about how they all go to each other's house for dinner, and work on each other's cars, and buddy up on this or that hobby.  They seem to be happy with such things, and I'm happy for them.  I deliver my reimbursement check to one of them, and go back to the clerk's office.  No loneliness or misery necessary.

I dunno - I'm certainly not trying to dump on your situation, I've just never experienced it.  I truly hope you can find a way to get what you yearn for met by your ward family.

 

Ever watch Parks & Recreation?  Ron Swanson - that's me.

Image result for ron swanson friend       Image result for ron swanson friend

Image result for ron swanson friend

 

 

Edited by NeuroTypical
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4 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

That could make it more difficult. If the ward is cliquey, well established and already has a social network installed, it could be hard for a visitor/new person to find their way in it. 

It doesn't make it impossible.  If you are in a ward and nobody will be your friend, even after the years of trying you stated, then the issue is you. (the royal you)

Edited by Grunt
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People really can't have it both ways.  They can't say everything in my life is great except my ward... while having the Ward be simultaneously both too insignificance to be worth the effort to fix or change.. and so incredibly important and significant that it must.

Pick one and act.

Edited by estradling75
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30 minutes ago, Vort said:

My observation (which you may not like) is that those who complain and moan about their ward and how they don't "fit in" are mostly unhappy pretty much anywhere they go, including their old ward. Some people just like to complain and take the negative view.

I liked my old ward and the one before that.  This ward is old with little youth. They dissolved the ward after we had an offer in. We had checked the ward to be sure it had youth. That was all gone overnight. 

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