Ward Boundary Changes

[Guest Mores]

I have been carved out of a ward and out of a stake.  I'm now in the stake next door.  Well, it's my stake now.  I was one of four households that got moved.  

I actually had some sort of premonition about the change as it was.  I told my wife that I thought there would be such a change.  She blew it off because of her reasons which I thought were reasonable.  So, I ended up figuring that it would still happen, but it would still be several years away.

The bishop at the time came with the stake president from the new stake and dropped the bomb.  They were being very careful of the wording they used so as not to upset us.  I just reacted with, "Hmm.  Ok."  They just looked at each other as if they didn't expect such acceptance.  Sorry to disappoint.

Now I'm finding that the other families that were affected by the boundary change were having a hard time of it because of friends and connections, etc.  Is that common?

[Jane_Doe]

Boundary changes can be REALLY hard for people.  Your ward is a family, and people enjoy getting to know each other and building those relationships.  When that relationship suddenly becomes much less convenient (like not seeing them every Sunday) and instead you're surrounded by all of these strangers... yes it can be really hard.  

[NeedleinA]

31 minutes ago, Mores said:

Now I'm finding that the other families that were affected by the boundary change were having a hard time of it because of friends and connections, etc.  Is that common?

Is it common, I think yes to some degree.
I think it is akin to moving to a new town. A move can be hard at first. People tend to get sad, but hopefully 'time' heals the change.
My ward has split 4 times in the last 18 years we have lived here. You make new friends, you adapt, you move on.

If someone honestly can't adapt and is doing the whole freakout routine, they have the option to sell their home and move back into the original stake or ward.
Boundary changes and ward assignments are part of LDS life and membership.

Good job on you for rolling with the punches.

[NeuroTypical]

My stake just got done redrawing boundaries and forming 2 new wards. Some people find it exciting, some interesting, some stressful, and some hate it, depending on the result.  It does have analogies to warfare, where the next gathering after the battle really highlights the missing people you will never see again.  I've learned not everyone appreciates me singing Les Mis songs like "Do you hear the people sing" the week before the announcement, or "Empty chairs at empty tables" the week after, but it helps me work through my own sadness, so I sing quietly or privately to myself.

My poor shiny new bishop I had been training up.  His family got moved to one of the new wards.  He had just got all the big callings in place here, only to get released and called as bishop to the new ward, where he has to form an entire new ward's calling structure from scratch, and he only knows like 5 other families.  I offered to visit his ward and help train his finance clerks if he needs it.

Bittersweet.  These are growing pains as the kingdom rolls forth across the earth (and as people keep moving to Colorado Springs).

 

[mordorbund]

2 hours ago, Mores said:

The bishop at the time came with the stake president from the new stake and dropped the bomb.  They were being very careful of the wording they used so as not to upset us.  I just reacted with, "Hmm.  Ok."  They just looked at each other as if they didn't expect such acceptance.  Sorry to disappoint.

Based on your location, I'm thinking your response was actually

Quote

Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes. I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again.

 

[anatess2]

Our ward split into 2 wards.  The one of those wards split into 3 wards.  Then one of those wards got split into 2 more wards and we all got split into 2 Stakes... all within 10 years.

Everytime we split we get a period of some kind of grief... like in our case, my son's best friend went to the other ward.  They were sad because they don't get to go to scouts together anymore.  But at least they were still in the same stake so they still do joint activities like firesides and stake choir... but then they got split into 2 stakes.  We also have several multi-generational families in our ward that got split apart and that was tough for everybody.  We also have a bunch of Filipinos who sit together and go to activities together who were upset by the split because one ward ended up with just one of the Filipino families - she did not like that at all.  We also had the misfortune of ending up with a tiny primary (I think we ended up with just 9 kids) which sucked, especially for cub scouts, but we realized it wasn't all bad because we eliminated the problem of a noisy sacrament meeting - the other ward still ended up with having to split their nursery into 2 classes and still had to struggle to hear the Priests bless the sacrament.

Anyway, eventually, everybody starts to adjust to the new boundaries and everything goes back to "normal" again.

 

[Anddenex]

3 hours ago, Mores said:

Now I'm finding that the other families that were affected by the boundary change were having a hard time of it because of friends and connections, etc.  Is that common?

Yes, we become comfortable with specific people, culture, and settings as humans. Some more than others. When that dynamic changes they are also more affected than others.

[LadyGunnar]

We went to the ward before making an offer on our house. They dissolved the ward 2 days before we signed the papers. It was horrible. I wouldn't have got the house if I knew this was the ward. My son was the only deacon. There are no girls my daughter's age. It's a very old ward with little youth and not what I wanted for my kids. 

I don't like how they spilt it. One ward has 95% of the youth for the stake.  The rest of the wards have a small handful of youth. It's not a huge area. Like a mile by a mile.  I wish they would let you pick a ward in someways. We could go to a ward with youth and maybe people my age as well.

[anatess2]

4 minutes ago, LadyGunnar said:

We went to the ward before making an offer on our house. They dissolved the ward 2 days before we signed the papers. It was horrible. I wouldn't have got the house if I knew this was the ward. My son was the only deacon. There are no girls my daughter's age. It's a very old ward with little youth and not what I wanted for my kids. 

I don't like how they spilt it. One ward has 95% of the youth for the stake.  The rest of the wards have a small handful of youth. It's not a huge area. Like a mile by a mile.  I wish they would let you pick a ward in someways. We could go to a ward with youth and maybe people my age as well.

This seems to be the expected outcome of a lot of ward splits because usually, it happens because of new developments or expanded suburban neighborhoods and usually the new developments/neighborhoods are formed by young families moving into the area while the older neighborhood have the matured families.  Since ward splits are done by geographical area, it stands to reason that the old ward retains the old neighborhood while the new ward forms from the new developments.

[Fether]

I’m really good as saying goodbye. In fact, if given the opportunity, I would leave a ward I have been deeply rooted in for years to go experience something new. 

I got in an argument with a mission companion once when I was getting transferred from an area. He was under the impression that I was ganna spend the day saying goodbye to members and investigators... despite the many friends I had made, I had no intention to.

[anatess2]

1 minute ago, Fether said:

I’m really good as saying goodbye. In fact, if given the opportunity, I would leave a ward I have been deeply rooted in for years to go experience something new. 

I got in an argument with a mission companion once when I was getting transferred from an area. He was under the impression that I was ganna spend the day saying goodbye to members and investigators... despite the many friends I had made, I had no intention to.

Lemme guess... you're one of the water signs (horoscope)?

[dprh]

I've seen and heard of a lot of scenarios.  Moving 4 households from one stake to another is a new one to me.  I can imagine some people feeling upset, singled out or picked on.  Personally I'd probably have a moment or two of mourning and then mild anticipation of the new ward.  My kids would be the most upset.  Leaving established friendships for the unknown can be scary for children.

Your leaders are probably thrilled, not disappointed, with your response.  They were just caught off-guard.  They were expecting to put out another fire. 🔥🚒

[Guest MormonGator]

 I think change is always hard. 

And for the people struggling with the boundaries, you could suggest that they make an effort to keep the ones they have in the old ward active. Invite them over for dinner, have game nights, etc. 

Edited November 21, 2019 by MormonGator

[Maureen]

16 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Sorry you are going through this. I think change is always hard. On the bright side though, maybe it'll provide you with the opportunity to form new friendships? 

And make an effort to keep the ones you have in the old ward active. Invite them over for dinner, have game nights, etc. 

@MormonGator, this is an odd reply since @Mores does not seem to mind the change.

M.

[LadyGunnar]

1 hour ago, anatess2 said:

This seems to be the expected outcome of a lot of ward splits because usually, it happens because of new developments or expanded suburban neighborhoods and usually the new developments/neighborhoods are formed by young families moving into the area while the older neighborhood have the matured families.  Since ward splits are done by geographical area, it stands to reason that the old ward retains the old neighborhood while the new ward forms from the new developments.

They took 5 wards and made 4. There was no new developments. It's an older part of town with big lots.  They spilt it in a way that put most of the youth in one ward.  People are moving out of the area and part of it is because their kids are struggling being the only ones their age.

     I would move in a heartbeat if I could talk my husband into it. We moved from an area that had lots of youth and people in their 30s. I didn't think moving to Utah would put us in an old ward with no one our age.  I wish they would let people pick wards. 

[Fether]

23 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

Lemme guess... you're one of the water signs (horoscope)?

Scorpio 🤘and as with every pseudoscience, it’s about 50% accurate in its guesses. Particularly, I’m not nearly as brutal as scorpios are suppose to be.

[Guest MormonGator]

11 minutes ago, Maureen said:

@MormonGator, this is an odd reply since @Mores does not seem to mind the change.

M.

Thank you! I re-read his question and modified my answer. 

[anatess2]

21 minutes ago, Fether said:

Scorpio 🤘and as with every pseudoscience, it’s about 50% accurate in its guesses. Particularly, I’m not nearly as brutal as scorpios are suppose to be.

Water!  I knew it!  Hah hah.

Horoscope is a range.  The more middle of the range you are, the closer you are supposed to be to the expectations.  But yeah, it's hocus pocus at best.  Hah hah.

In my case, I'm an earth sign.  We don't like changes to ward boundaries.  Hah hah.

[anatess2]

30 minutes ago, LadyGunnar said:

They took 5 wards and made 4. There was no new developments. It's an older part of town with big lots.  They spilt it in a way that put most of the youth in one ward.  People are moving out of the area and part of it is because their kids are struggling being the only ones their age.

     I would move in a heartbeat if I could talk my husband into it. We moved from an area that had lots of youth and people in their 30s. I didn't think moving to Utah would put us in an old ward with no one our age.  I wish they would let people pick wards. 

Ohh!  I've never heard of a reduction in any of the places I've lived in.  It's always an expansion.  But then, I've never been to Utah!

My ward in Florida has a very small Primary and Youth.  There are only 6 kids in the entire Cub Scout program and 2 of them just turned 8 last month... we were supposed to only have 4 but the new change last year caused our Primary Presidency to add the 7 year olds to the scouts which is great because 6 is definitely better than 4!

We have 12 Young Men.  Only 2 deacons and 1 Teacher, the rest are Priests most of whom will turn 18 next year.  So next year is gonna be rough.

[Connie]

55 minutes ago, Fether said:

Scorpio 🤘and as with every pseudoscience, it’s about 50% accurate in its guesses. Particularly, I’m not nearly as brutal as scorpios are suppose to be.

Taking precession into account, you probably aren't.

https://youtu.be/tZ2ULO6KVwA

[Guest MormonGator]

1 hour ago, Fether said:

Scorpio 🤘and as with every pseudoscience, it’s about 50% accurate in its guesses. Particularly, I’m not nearly as brutal as scorpios are suppose to be.

In my dating days one of my red flags was if a girl honestly believed in astrology. 

[Connie]

6 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

In my dating days one of my red flags was if a girl honestly believed in astrology. 

Considering that the constellations, themselves, are completely arbitrary. That's smart. 👍

https://youtu.be/j0H4xTla_M8

Edited November 22, 2019 by Connie

[Guest MormonGator]

3 minutes ago, Connie said:

Considering that the constellations, themselves, are completely arbitrary. That's smart. 👍

I have one girl on my FB who apparently really, really believes in that stuff. She's been divorced three times,bounces from MLM scheme to MLM scheme and constantly whines about everything. 

Other than that, she seems delightful.  

[dprh]

7 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

In my dating days one of my red flags was if a girl honestly believed in astrology. 

That is such a Capricorn thought process....(Or some other sign, I don't know)

[CV75]

21 hours ago, Mores said:

I have been carved out of a ward and out of a stake.  I'm now in the stake next door.  Well, it's my stake now.  I was one of four households that got moved.  

I actually had some sort of premonition about the change as it was.  I told my wife that I thought there would be such a change.  She blew it off because of her reasons which I thought were reasonable.  So, I ended up figuring that it would still happen, but it would still be several years away.

The bishop at the time came with the stake president from the new stake and dropped the bomb.  They were being very careful of the wording they used so as not to upset us.  I just reacted with, "Hmm.  Ok."  They just looked at each other as if they didn't expect such acceptance.  Sorry to disappoint.

Now I'm finding that the other families that were affected by the boundary change were having a hard time of it because of friends and connections, etc.  Is that common?

I think it is common. I try to help them see that our ward and stake assignments are like the inheritances in ancient Israel, they are part of our covenant to participate in the kingdom, and we will be blessed for serving accordingly.