Ward Boundary Changes


Guest Mores
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Just now, mirkwood said:

True, but a ward should also be a significant contributor.

Should be...  And if it is not... Well you can't change other people you can only change yourself...  Taking a realistic look at what your options are you can either change your location (aka move) or you can change your attitude.   Engaging in public fault finding over the churches position only puts one in the role of Laman and Lemuel

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Here is an interesting societal dynamic that the Brethren are addressing.  Ward sizes.

 

Social scientists and psychologists recognize that people tend to categorize into groups of around 400. Brain experts noticed that average intelligence or greater could only recite from memory 419 animals.  419 cities.  419 people at work.  419 people at church...

Ward sizes we're commonly around 300 to allow for growth and still be functional.  It was a rare ward that was allowed to be greater than 400.

With the ubiquity of social media and cell phones and other factors, 400 people is no longer a workable number. It isn't because it is less manageable.  It is because people are less social.  Their best friend is their phone.

Ward sizes are now being shrunk to bare minimums that can still carry on the core functions of a ward.  Our new stake center is smaller than the older ward building that I attend.

I overheard that the goal is to force people to be more social.  For most things we end up having to do, we usually end up talking to virtually everyone in the ward.  We HAVE to interact with everyone.  Cliques are difficult to close off with such functionality.

I realize there is no magic wand that will solve all problems in all circumstances.  But it goes a long way.  People do interact.

Edited by Mores
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1 hour ago, estradling75 said:

And how much do you care about them?  Have you ever dropped everything and go help someone in your new ward?

I have taken meals when asked. I don't hear about anything.  I am not on any email or text lists.  I tried to be friendly and get to know people at first. I gave up because there is no point.  

I would help any of them as long as my kids can come with me.  

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37 minutes ago, LadyGunnar said:

I have taken meals when asked. I don't hear about anything.  I am not on any email or text lists.  I tried to be friendly and get to know people at first. I gave up because there is no point.  

I would help any of them as long as my kids can come with me.  

So you do not unless directly asked...  You are doing what everyone else in the ward is doing..  But you complain about others not stepping out or up when you yourself do not.

 

 

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@LadyGunnar

I faced the exact same thing you did when I moved to my ward. I am 24 and the average age in my congregation is like 80. Most wards have 1 crazy old guy or 1 know it all old guy... we have 20 of each. We called it an old folks home when we first walked in.

We also had a similar experience with the younger couples. The “in crowd” or the social leaders of the ward were not very welcoming, we got awkward glances, and only two families reached out to us.

We felt frustrated that this was going to be our ward. But we had just moved from Vegas where we had the most incredible ward ever!

So after wallowing I’m self pity for a few weeks, we realized a couple things.

- In the process of noticing other’s awkward glances, we were actually giving them awkward glances too.

- Every ward has that awesome click of people that are always so welcoming. This ward didn’t have that couple so my wife and I decided to be that couple.

- EVERYONE has a hard time reaching out to people they don’t know. So we could perpetuate that culture, or break it.

We started hosting dinners, game nights, volleyball nights, etc. within a few weeks we were friends with most the young couples in the ward. A few of them still don’t give us the time of day when we try talking to them, but I hold no Ill feelings toward them. 

Now looking back, the only couples we are good friends with today are the same couples that befriended us when we first move can in. But instead of grudgingly hating on those that don’t talk to us, we are now all good acquaintances  and I try to always give some enthusiastic greeting every time I see them.

Instead of waiting for that powerhouse couple and the in crowd to reach out to us, we decided to dethrone the powerhouse couple, take their place, take over the in-crowd, and run it as we thought it should be run.

And we are pretty much there xD

Now of course I make this sound more grandiose than it actually is, but that ultimately is what we are doing. Since we started our crusade, we have befriended two couples that have recently moved in, one of them was actually invited to my surprise party and we had a good laugh at how I didn’t recognize them, then had a blast the rest of the evening.

Follow the example of the gadianton robbers and usurp the authority. Kill the king and queen and take their place and influence the sociality of the ward the way you believe it should. Become a story that would be told in 

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5 hours ago, estradling75 said:

So you do not unless directly asked...  You are doing what everyone else in the ward is doing..  But you complain about others not stepping out or up when you yourself do not.

 

 

I don't get told anything.   No one talks to me.  I am not on any texting or emailing lists.  I can't help when I don't know about a need.

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15 hours ago, estradling75 said:

Should be...  And if it is not... Well you can't change other people you can only change yourself...  Taking a realistic look at what your options are you can either change your location (aka move) or you can change your attitude.   Engaging in public fault finding over the churches position only puts one in the role of Laman and Lemuel

If a move is not already in your plans that "option" is unreasonable.

If you are in a ward full of jerks (BTDT) changing your attitude does not make them not jerks.

 

 

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2 minutes ago, mirkwood said:

If a move is not already in your plans that "option" is unreasonable.

If you are in a ward full of jerks (BTDT) changing your attitude does not make them not jerks.

 

 

Changing your attitude doesn't change anybody else - including jerks.  But it changes how you react to jerks - like it would help you not get triggered by jerks.

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13 hours ago, LadyGunnar said:

I have taken meals when asked. I don't hear about anything.  I am not on any email or text lists.  I tried to be friendly and get to know people at first. I gave up because there is no point.  

I would help any of them as long as my kids can come with me.  

First step would probably be to go talk to your RS President and tell her you want to be added to the email or text lists or whatever method they use to communicate.  

There's always a point to being friendly and getting to know people - the point is to be friendly and get to know people.  It doesn't have to have conditions of success attached to it for someone to find being friendly and getting to know people worthwhile.  Being friendly and get to know people should be a default state of being so that might be one of those things you can concentrate on - don't worry about how people react to your efforts.  Just concentrate on feeling happy that you are able to make the effort.  

Just my 2 cents.

 

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14 hours ago, MormonGator said:

And if you have? 

Then said person is going to be the kind of powerhouse @Fether talked about and will get to know people and build friendships it reasonably short order...  Thus if she does this she will solve her own problem.

 

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9 hours ago, LadyGunnar said:

I don't get told anything.   No one talks to me.  I am not on any texting or emailing lists.  I can't help when I don't know about a need.

You get asked and you respond.   Have you asked?  In my experience leaders love and adore members who are proactive in volunteering and trying to be of service...  Even if that proactivity is just going up to them and asking for what you can do and how you can be in the loop for service opportunities.

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2 hours ago, mirkwood said:

If a move is not already in your plans that "option" is unreasonable.

No it is not.  Moving is a fundamentally hard thing.  Living in a Ward full of jerks is also a fundamentally hard thing.  It is clear many people consider both "options" to be unreasonable.

If your options are Move, Attend a ward full of Jerks, or rebel against the church (through inactivity or Ward hopping)  The last option is clearly the easiest but it is also fundamentally wrong.

Moving is a hard thing, but so is developing a Christ-like love of jerks.  Those are the Right options available. Of the two I think the later is the better option but to each there own.  Every individual has the right to decide which option they wish or which option they think is less hard.  If the individual evaluates there personal situation and decides that moving is not an option.  That is a choice.  That leaves them with the Right options of loving the jerks or the wrong option of rebellion.

2 hours ago, mirkwood said:

If you are in a ward full of jerks (BTDT) changing your attitude does not make them not jerks.

 

 Nope it does not change them...  But if your happiness depends on others you will be miserable all your days.  If your happiness comes from following Christ to the best of your abilities then you can be happy in a world filled with jerks.

 

Edited by estradling75
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Guest MormonGator
2 hours ago, estradling75 said:

Then said person is going to be the kind of powerhouse @Fether talked about and will get to know people and build friendships it reasonably short order...  Thus if she does this she will solve her own problem.

 

Okay @estradling75. It doesn't work the way you are describing. 

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20 hours ago, MormonGator said:

Okay @estradling75. It doesn't work the way you are describing. 

 

20 hours ago, MormonGator said:

Like I said in a previous post, I see it differently. And that's okay, we won't agree on everything. 

You can be wrong if you like, but you are wrong

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Guest MormonGator
9 hours ago, estradling75 said:

 

You can be wrong if you like, but you are wrong

Indeed. Just know that I feel the same way about you, so around the circle we go. 

Happy Thanksgiving. 

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