Comical manufactured outrage at BYU

[mirkwood]

26 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

I’ll never attend or watch another game. 

I’m also throwing away my Megadeth t-shirts. 

I'm selling my bridge in San Francisco if you would like to buy it.

[Just_A_Guy]

7 minutes ago, mirkwood said:

I'm selling my bridge in San Francisco if you would like to buy it.

Random factoid:  for many years, the Golden Gate Bridge only had suicide netting on the east side of the bridge.  Jumpers almost never jumped off the side facing the ocean—only from the side looking back towards the city lights around the bay.

[Guest Scott]

1 hour ago, Just_A_Guy said:

Random factoid:  for many years, the Golden Gate Bridge only had suicide netting on the east side of the bridge.  Jumpers almost never jumped off the side facing the ocean—only from the side looking back towards the city lights around the bay.

Source?  I thought the suicide netting on the bridge only started construction a few years ago and isn't near completion yet.  A few old coworkers are on that project.  Or was there another earlier safety netting?

[Guest Scott]

Issues with homosexuality sometimes hit home with me.  In no way am I myself homosexual.  I have never in my life had homosexual thoughts.

Some of my friends and family members are though and it is a real conflict for me.  It isn't a conflict for me because I understand or approve of their lifestyle, but that I don't know how I should react to it.

This are excerpts of what my friend posted today:

[Content warning: Suicidality] I've been hurting this week, and I want to speak up about why. This may be a bad idea, but I hope that sharing my thoughts will at least help people to be more understanding and help others to know they're not alone.

For those of you who don't know already, I'm gay. Being gay at BYU has never been a good experience, but this week has been exceptionally bad since Wednesday, when the Church Education System (the organization over BYU) reversed BYU's recent policy of allowing gay dating. I think that explaining a bit of my story will help to explain how much this matters.

When I started school here in fall of 2017, I didn't really realize (admit) that I was gay. I did realize I was attracted to other guys, but I believed (as I had been taught) that this would change if I were faithful enough. Those I trusted enough to talk to assured me that gay relationships would leave me unhappy in this life and for eternity, and that I should not consider that path.

Over the next while, it became more and more clear to me that my efforts to change myself and date women were going nowhere. Those around me attempted to comfort me by assuring me that my challenge was only temporary, and that if I were righteous, I would find the love and affection I so badly needed in the next life.

As I came to believe that I could not fulfill my need for love and affection during life, I grew depressed and unstable. Seeing couples express affection was painful, and I'd often cry myself to sleep afterwards, believing they had something I could never hope for. I skipped the wedding receptions of many of my friends, knowing I couldn't take the pain of seeing them so happy. I begged God to just kill me if he really cared. I grew reckless, hoping I could die without committing the sin of suicide....

I still felt out of place and not really wanted at BYU, but I knew I'd reached a point where I could live with the way things were, and I hoped perhaps I could help others by being here. I also saw hopeful signs that at least some of the University administration cared, such as the school's creation of a diversity and inclusion office and their decision to hire queer people and allies for several positions on campus.

Two weeks ago, the Church Education System unexpectedly removed the Honor Code clause prohibiting "all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings," instead stating only that students must "live a chaste and virtuous life, including abstaining from any sexual relations outside a marriage between a man and a woman."

I was hesitant to take this change at face value, so I walked to the Honor Code Office to ask an administrator what this change would mean. He told me that this would allow dating, and that it would in fact be illegal for the school to enforce a rule that wasn't in their policies. He also told me that if others harassed or insulted me for being gay or for dating guys, they could be reported for violating the Honor Code's rule to respect others.

I was stunned. For the first time since coming to BYU, I felt wanted, welcome, and at home. I became significantly more open about my choice to date, knowing that people know longer had the ability to threaten me if they knew. Many of my friends decided to come out publicly, make their relationships public, and show affection on campus. It was hard to believe, but it appeared that the Church had finally made a choice to openly support queer students on campus.

On Wednesday, this all changed. BYU sent a "clarification" to all students stating that gay dating, handholding, and other affection was still against the Honor Code, despite a lack of any clause that would clearly prohibit it. Again, I wanted to know what this would mean, so I walked to the Honor Code Office. There, I met the director and another administrator and asked them what the new rules would mean in terms of enforcement.

I asked them whether enforcement would look like it did before two weeks ago. They told me that penalties would probably be more severe, given the clearer language.

I asked them whether students would be at risk for having dated over the last two weeks. I was told that the new statement was a clarification to the rules that had been there all along, and not an addendum. I was also told, however, that people's understanding of the Honor Code at the time of a violation would be "a significant factor" to be considered. When I continued to press for a clear answer as to whether students would be punished for dating in the past two weeks, the Honor Code director would not rule it out.

In mentioning Honor Code administrators, I should clarify that those I talked to are kind people in a difficult position, and they should not be blamed for this change. Rather, the blame lies on the Church Education System, which appears to have given no thought or concern to how their decisions would harm queer students.

Since Wednesday, I've again felt unwelcome and unwanted by this university. I've felt resentment towards straight couples I see, even though I know they bear no responsibility. To give me something so close to my heart and then tear it away is a cruel betrayal that has broken any trust I had in BYU or the Church Education System. And on top of this, I'm still expected to keep up in classes with students who have none of this to deal with.

My friends who came out and made their relationships publicly known made decisions that cannot be undone, and are now the targets of hate groups and possibly even Honor Code enforcement. One of the kindest professors I know spent all night after the announcement talking to students and trying to make sure they would be okay. So, not only am I hurting for myself, but also for many of those around me.

Most of all, I worry about those students who don't yet have the support and hope I've found, who are feeling lost and alone. I hope that they all make it through this week and find places where they are welcome.

Thankfully, I have many friends who have shown support, and more importantly, I believe that my life will get better. Attending protests has also given me a boost this week that I really needed, despite one incredibly rude counterprotester reminding me of the hate I face here.

I don't know what the future will hold, or whether it's reasonable to hope for an apology or positive change, but I do know I'll stand up for myself and others who have been hurt. If you're hurting, I'll listen and do what I can to help.

----------------------

Note: If you or someone you know is in danger of self-harm, please call a suicide hotline or reach out someone who can help you to remain safe.

So, other than offering support, how do I even respond to things like this?  I know that the Church says that homosexual dating is wrong.  I don't feel inspired to remind people of it though.  They already know  I just say that I a support them and are still his or her friend.

I have seen my cousins marriage fail because he married someone who was attracted to her own sex.  She had no attraction to the opposite sex, but got married because she wanted to be a good Church member.  I know for a fact that both of them tried very hard to make their marriage work.  I also know that both of them stayed faithful in their marriage vows with each other and that my cousin's ex wife stayed celebate before marriage.  Still, they couldn't make it through the challenges, even though they are both good people.  I caused a lot of heartache and anyone who says that they must not have been trying hard enough isn't correct.

I struggle to know what I am supposed to do to stand by people and love them for who they are, without judging them and still to have something I do or say that would cause more pain to them, but without advocating the lifestyle.  

I have seen people struggle and have giving them blessings telling them that everything will be alright, but it is not.  

 

Doing or saying the right thing is hard for me (but easy compared to what they are going through).  I also don't like what some other people say about those I have seen go through the struggle; things such as they aren't trying hard enough, etc.  I have seen that they are, though I'm not the final judge on that.

Unfortunately, other than praying for them and telling them that I am here for them and support them, I do not know what to do.


 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 7, 2020 by Scott

[Just_A_Guy]

1 hour ago, Scott said:

Source?  I thought the suicide netting on the bridge only started construction a few years ago and isn't near completion yet.  A few old coworkers are on that project.  Or was there another earlier safety netting?

I want to say it’s from a memoir called “When We Went First Class”, by Ellen Douglas Williamson; and I think her observation was from the 1960s or 1970s.  I remember seeing  some kind of suicide nets under the bridge when I was there visiting maybe 10 years ago; so whatever netting they’re installing now, I doubt it’s the first iteration.

Edited March 7, 2020 by Just_A_Guy

[Guest Scott]

5 minutes ago, Just_A_Guy said:

I want to say it’s from a memoir called “When We Went First Class”, by Ellen Douglas Williamson; and I think her observation was from the 1960s or 1970s.  I remember seeing  some kind of suicide nets under the bridge when I was there visiting maybe 10 years ago; so whatever netting they’re installing now, I doubt it’s the first iteration.

Thanks.  I'll have to look that book up.

[Just_A_Guy]

37 minutes ago, Scott said:

Thanks.  I'll have to look that book up.

I will as well.  Just looked at Wikipedia which says there’s never been a suicide barrier there before the one they’re building now—but I swear I saw one there some years ago.

[NeuroTypical]

10 hours ago, Scott said:

So, other than offering support, how do I even respond to things like this?

My read of situations like this, is I'm bound by the 2nd great commandment.  Love thy neighbor.  Sometimes love requires a judgment be made, sometimes love prohibits an unrighteous judgment. Someone is struggling in ways you'll probably never struggle, making choices you wonder if you'd make or not?  Sounds like an excellent test of Elder Oaks' "Judge not and Judging" talk.

Quote

First, a righteous judgment must, by definition, be intermediate. It will refrain from declaring that a person has been assured of exaltation or from dismissing a person as being irrevocably bound for hellfire. 

Second, a righteous judgment will be guided by the Spirit of the Lord, not by anger, revenge, jealousy, or self-interest. 

Third, to be righteous, an intermediate judgment must be within our stewardship. We should not presume to exercise and act upon judgments that are outside our personal responsibilities. 

Fourth, we should, if possible, refrain from judging until we have adequate knowledge of the facts. 

A fifth principle of a righteous intermediate judgment is that whenever possible we will refrain from judging people and only judge situations. 

Sixth, forgiveness is a companion principle to the commandment that in final judgments we judge not and in intermediate judgments we judge righteously. 

Seventh, a final ingredient or principle of a righteous judgment is that it will apply righteous standards. If we apply unrighteous standards, our judgment will be unrighteous. By falling short of righteous standards, we place ourselves in jeopardy of being judged by incorrect or unrighteous standards ourselves. The fundamental scripture on the whole subject of not judging contains this warning: “For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again”.

 

Going through that list and applying it to me personally:  I find there are righteous judgments I can make with that guy's story.  I believe he's trying hard.  He seems to be a good person, very much wanting to know how to do what's right.  I see him struggling and striving.  I see him hurting.  That's about the end of my ability to righteously judge.  I don't know enough about his soul, his life, or his behaviors, to agree with or disagree with the stuff he's saying.  

I could hug this guy.  I could tell him stuff like "I don't have the faintest clue what it's like to be you, but I can love and accept you."

Heck, I could say that even if he went bitter and dark and started beating people up and got arrested.  But I'd be surprised if he did.  

[anatess2]

On 3/7/2020 at 11:38 AM, NeuroTypical said:

My read of situations like this, is I'm bound by the 2nd great commandment.  Love thy neighbor.  Sometimes love requires a judgment be made, sometimes love prohibits an unrighteous judgment. Someone is struggling in ways you'll probably never struggle, making choices you wonder if you'd make or not?  Sounds like an excellent test of Elder Oaks' "Judge not and Judging" talk.

A lot of people just throw this word "Love" out there.  "Love, not Hate" as they scream at you, etc. etc.  It bears remembering that Love is that complete and utmost desire to bring someone with you closer to Christ.  So, whatever you do, the measuring stick is - are you bringing the person and yourself closer to Christ?

[Vernor's Ginger Ale]

On 3/7/2020 at 12:02 AM, Scott said:

...I don't know how I should react to it...

This are excerpts of what my friend posted today:...

the blame lies on the Church Education System, which appears to have given no thought or concern to how their decisions would harm queer students.

...

See the bold.  Do you really not know how you should react to that? 

He blames the Church for telling him it is wrong to push the boundaries as far as possible.  Get those wheels as close to the edge of the cliff as possible.

Edited March 13, 2020 by Vernor's Ginger Ale

[anatess2]

On 3/7/2020 at 1:02 AM, Scott said:

I have seen my cousins marriage fail because he married someone who was attracted to her own sex.  She had no attraction to the opposite sex, but got married because she wanted to be a good Church member.  I know for a fact that both of them tried very hard to make their marriage work.  I also know that both of them stayed faithful in their marriage vows with each other and that my cousin's ex wife stayed celebate before marriage.  Still, they couldn't make it through the challenges, even though they are both good people.  I caused a lot of heartache and anyone who says that they must not have been trying hard enough isn't correct.

I struggle to know what I am supposed to do to stand by people and love them for who they are, without judging them and still to have something I do or say that would cause more pain to them, but without advocating the lifestyle.  
 

How do you know what to do about people who are not members of the Church?  How do you know what to do about people who are members of the Church drinking beer right infront of you?  How do you know what to do about members cussing up a storm, members lining up at a tattoo parlor, members cheating on their spouses, members teaching "alternate doctrine", etc. etc. etc., who insist they're not doing anything wrong?

Same thing.

[Guest Scott]

2 hours ago, Vernor's Ginger Ale said:

See the bold.  Do you really not know how you should react to that? 

No, I do not know what to tell him about that.   

[Just_A_Guy]

59 minutes ago, Scott said:

No, I do not know what to tell him about that.   

The author is falling into the typical proggie “blame conservatism first” mindset.

Note that it’s not the fault of BYUHCO for giving in to the incessant bullying and browbeating by their libertine constituency.  It’s not the fault of BYUHCO for failing to connect the fact that homosexual “romantic displays” are fundamentally (admittedly low-level) acts of sexual gratification with the fact that gay sex is, in fact, sinful.  It’s not the fault of BYUHCO for failing to understand that a physical relationship can only “end” in marriage, fornication, or breakup—and that in a gay student’s case the first two options are impossible to reconcile with righteousness and the third inflicts unnecessary psychological harm.  It’s not the fault of BYUHCO for not connecting the fact that deliberately pursuing a same-sex relationship constitutes an affirmative rejection of the possibility of celestial marriage in a way that staying celibate doesn’t (the difference between “maybe something will change it’ll be possible now or in the eternities” versus “screw it; I never wanted it anyways”).  It’s not the fault of BYUHCO for seeing near-contemporaneous releases from BYU’s spokesperson saying that “the principles are unchanged” and not ever, even for a moment, thinking “gee, maybe we should think twice before expressly green-lighting more libertine behavior”.

No, BYUHCO’s stupendous ignorance and recklessness is not its own fault.  To the contrary, in the author’s view, this is the fault of big, bad CES for not letting itself be manipulated by BYUHCO’s ineptitude (or malignancy) into approving a policy that could be used to advance the narrative that the LDS Church had redefined “sin”.

If you’ve dealt with divorced co-parents, you know the pattern:  Dad promises Tommy a pony, Mom says “Sorry, Tommy; but we live in a two-bedroom apartment and we just can’t afford to feed or board a pony”, Tommy’s heart is broken, and Dad accuses Mom of emotionally abusing the child and takes her to court for full custody.  

Edited March 13, 2020 by Just_A_Guy

[Guest Scott]

1 hour ago, Just_A_Guy said:

The author is falling into the typical proggie “blame conservatism first” mindset.

That still doesn't answer the question on how I should respond to my friend.  

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

@Scott The only thing I can think of to say to friends in this situation is to assure them that the Savior loves them and understands their pain.  Look to Him for guidance, for comfort.  He loves you.  

And no, I don't think they find that completely satisfying, I understand they want answers right now but I don't know the answers so I reassure them again of what I do know. Christ loves you, turn to Him. 

[Vort]

1 hour ago, Scott said:

That still doesn't answer the question on how I should respond to my friend.  

How about:

"No, friend, this is not the CES's fault. BYU's Honor Code office enforced this poorly. But come on. You know, and knew, full well that homosexual conduct is off-limits and considered sinful at BYU. This is nothing new. For the CES to reaffirm what everyone has known all along—that homosexual conduct is not allowed at BYU—is hardly surprising. You can't honestly feign shock at this reaffirmation of well-known principles, something so obvious that it doesn't even qualify as news."

[Guest Scott]

10 minutes ago, Vort said:

How about:

"No, friend, this is not the CES's fault. BYU's Honor Code office enforced this poorly. But come on. You know, and knew, full well that homosexual conduct is off-limits and considered sinful at BYU. This is nothing new. For the CES to reaffirm what everyone has known all along—that homosexual conduct is not allowed at BYU—is hardly surprising. You can't honestly feign shock at this reaffirmation of well-known principles, something so obvious that it doesn't even qualify as news."

That's really what you would really tell someone who was suicidal? 

[Vort]

7 minutes ago, Scott said:

That's really what you would really tell someone who was suicidal? 

Scott, do you want rational speaking, or are you looking for emergency intervention? If the latter, then perform the latter. "I'm sorry you're feeling despair, friend. I still love you, and God does, too. Don't give up. We're with you."

Homosexual activity is sinful and without exception always, always, always, worlds without end, leads to withdrawal of the spirit and (if not repented of) eventual everlasting damnation. This is what must eventually be communicated to those with homosexual proclivities.

The kingdom of God must not, cannot, and will not change its fundamental doctrines or practices to kowtow to those who wish to nurture their pet sin or perversion, whatever its nature. This is true even if some people threaten to harm themselves if they don't get their way.

What are you looking for, really? What do YOU think you should say to a suicidal homosexual? Do you think you should tell him that his homosexual activity is okay? Do you think you should tell him that the Church is just full of bigots and homophobes, and the problem is with them and not with him? Do you think you should join him in his holy quest to make homosex acceptable and celebrated within the Church? Exactly what is it you want, Scott?

Edited March 13, 2020 by Vort

[Guest Scott]

Just now, Vort said:

What do YOU think you should say to a suicidal homosexual?

I don't know.  That's why I am asking.   I was asking, not trying to start an arguement.  

Quote

Do you think you should tell them that their homosexual activity is okay?

No.

Quote

Do you think you should tell them that the Church is just full of bigots and homophobes, and the problem is with them and not with him?

No.

Quote

Do you think you should join him in his holy quest to make homosex acceptable and celebrated within the Church?

No.

Quote

Exactly what is it you want?

As in the original post, other than praying for them and telling them that I am here for them and support them, I do not know what to do.

I have told him that I support him and will still be his friend.

What I wanted were some ideas of how to respond in a loving manner to a suicidal person without condoning the behavior.    It isn't as easy as it seems people are making it on the forum.   

[Vort]

Just now, Scott said:

As in the original post, other than praying for them and telling them that I am here for them and support them, I do not know what to do.

I have told him that I support him and will still be his friend.

What I wanted were some ideas of how to respond in a loving manner to a suicidal person without condoning the behavior.    It isn't as easy as it seems people are making it on the forum.

Then I am sincerely sorry I have not been of more help. I do not believe that honest, heartfelt empathy is always easy. On the contrary, it's sometimes extremely hard.

What I have seen around me in the Church, including with family and friends, is a tendency to soft-pedal the doctrines of the Church to avoid offending. This inevitably leads to denial of the doctrine, something all too clear when looking at BYU. That's what gives me great concern. If I was wrongly sensing that in your replies, then I apologize.

[Just_A_Guy]

1 hour ago, Scott said:

That still doesn't answer the question on how I should respond to my friend.  

Too many variables.  Falls into the general category of “how to tell someone a truth that they don’t want to hear?”.  Depending on temperament, relationship quality, and sincerity—they may need to be mollycoddled, or they may need to be told point-blank that they’re full of crap and need to repent.

One approach might be “look, a cabal of progressive HCO employees and faculty thought they could advance your cause by making you the subject of a theological turf war between themselves and CES, and it blew up in their faces, and you got hurt, and yes, it’s a terrible thing, and hopefully the people responsible will be fired and hopefully we’ve all learned a painful lesson about the dangers of falling for false doctrines that the prophets warned against but that we were already psychologically primed to receive.”

Edited March 13, 2020 by Just_A_Guy

[Guest MormonGator]

2 hours ago, Scott said:

That still doesn't answer the question on how I should respond to my friend.  

Tell your friend this: 

1 hour ago, LiterateParakeet said:

@Scott The only thing I can think of to say to friends in this situation is to assure them that the Savior loves them and understands their pain.  Look to Him for guidance, for comfort.  He loves you.  

And no, I don't think they find that completely satisfying, I understand they want answers right now but I don't know the answers so I reassure them again of what I do know. Christ loves you, turn to Him. 

My heart breaks to hear stories like what your friend is going through. 

[Anddenex]

On 3/6/2020 at 11:02 PM, Scott said:

Issues with homosexuality sometimes hit home with me.  In no way am I myself homosexual.  I have never in my life had homosexual thoughts.

Some of my friends and family members are though and it is a real conflict for me.  It isn't a conflict for me because I understand or approve of their lifestyle, but that I don't know how I should react to it.

Unfortunately, other than praying for them and telling them that I am here for them and support them, I do not know what to do.

 

Let's begin with this one: Unfortunately, other than praying for them and telling them that I am here for them and support them, I do not know what to do.

At times dear brother this is all we can do. I personally believe this is why we have the stories of Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah. We are clearly and plainly taught that it was the prayers of their fathers (I would add mothers, likening scripture unto myself) that eventually spared Alma.

Some of my friends and family members are though and it is a real conflict for me.  It isn't a conflict for me because I understand or approve of their lifestyle, but that I don't know how I should react to it.

You are not alone. The wicked world we live in is continually teaching and accepting actions that are contrary to the Lord's teachings. I have empathy/charity for our brothers and sisters with this struggle and strong feelings. On one side (a notion that must be accepted by faith, hope, and charity) is telling them their divine nature. The other side is enticing them to be who they are with the false preaching, "God doesn't make mistakes." Although the principle is true, how it is being applied is false.

For me, I am bluntly honest. Teaching or accepting a falsehood doesn't help anyone to come unto Christ. And, as you already know, unless a person is ready and willing they will never accept nor make the necessary changes. They must truly desire this.

So, the first thing that helps is never to teach a false doctrine.

The second is to never congratulate sin. How we have confused these sons and daughters by congratulating and accepting sin as "good." Mixed messages only allows the adversary to further perpetuate lies.

Third, if we are in a position we should take opportunity to correct false teachings. This is a catch 22. I am sure you don't enter every argument you see on Facebook (as most of us don't do) because the person on the other side doesn't really care. But if requested we shouldn't be afraid to teach God's truth as it is only God's truth and their personal desire that can help them.

E.g. the honor code never changed. It was the interpretation of people who strongly wanted something to be a certain way to be that way. Those who taught that a change happened and encouraged acting out are the ones to blame, not the CES. The response from the Church clearly identifies this. That would be a very important clarification. I have read the Honor Code and I didn't see what these individuals were saying was the case. I can see how easily, once again, how the adversary is able to make something look the way it is not.

The fourth thing is that if people know they are struggling and want to "act" in sin, then they should go to a different school/university than BYU, or any other university/institution that doesn't support acting on homosexual tendencies. This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. And to be frank, anyone who wants BYU to change and accept homosexual acts on the Church's campus doesn't have the mind of Christ (in that thing). That should be self evident.

Fifth, we are there for them with open arms. People sadly confuse "open arms" with fully accepting a persons sin. I can have open arms without accepting the lifestyle of a friend. My house has rules. If someone is breaking house rules they have the right to leave, but if ever in need I won't turn them away. If they want to stay they can obey my house rules. I think that concept is really simple and plain.

 

Edited March 15, 2020 by Anddenex

[Vernor's Ginger Ale]

On 3/13/2020 at 9:21 AM, Scott said:

No, I do not know what to tell him about that.   

Well, that's interesting.  I have to apologize.  I had completely misinterpreted your whole post.

You have now clarified that you were asking for "what to tell him".  I thought when you said "respond" I was thinking you meant "how you should react" or that you didn't know "what to think/believe" or "how you should feel about it".  Well, see what I have written at the bottom about "rules over doctrine".

You now have clarified that he was suicidal.  I got nothing like that from the quote from his post.  It sounded like a political stump speech by an activist.  And TBH, I still don't get the suicidal vibe from his post even while re-reading it.  But I'll take your word for it. I believe several others have covered that end of things.  And it has been a profitable conversation over all.

The point of greatest concern to me is this:

Quote

Attending protests has also given me a boost this week that I really needed, despite one incredibly rude counterprotester reminding me of the hate I face here.

So, protesting against just and virtuous principles made him feel better.  But hearing someone read the Family Proclamation reminded him of the hatred at BYU. (I'm assuming that's the "one incredibly rude counterprotester" he spoke of).  I wasn't there.  I can only read what you posted.  And that seemed the case considering the post that @Just_A_Guy posted earlier in this thread.  It didn't sound anything like a plea for help from one who was suicidal. 

Instead, I'm reminded of two scriptures:

Quote

And the king of Israel said unto Jehoshaphat, There is yet one man, by whom we may inquire of the Lord: but I hate him; for he never prophesied good unto me, but always evil: the same is Micaiah the son of Imla. And Jehoshaphat said, Let not the king say so.

 2 Chron 18:7

...and because I have told you the truth ye are angry with me. And again, because I have spoken the word of God ye have judged me that I am mad.

Mosiah 13:4

Just to let you know, I have gay friends.  And they say stuff like this all the time -- yet they are not suicidal.  They're angry.  That's how your friend's post came off to me.  Angry.  Not suicidal.  But again, I'll take your word for it.

I've found that, as others have said, there's nothing you can say for someone in his predicament.  You can only "be supportive."  You show love, compassion, etc.  There is a problem with simply saying that the Lord is there for them:  I've found that (counter to Literate Parakeet's suggestion) that most who are in this state don't care or refuse to believe that the Lord is there.  So, all you can do is show them that YOU are there.  That's it.  Nothing else really works or matters or does anything worthwhile (unless truly moved upon by the Spirit).

While doing this, don't fall into the trap of forgetting who you are.

This week's CFM lesson had one speech from April 1989 General Conference referenced in it.  I'll go over that with you.

Pres Hinckley made an analogy using a pair of binoculars -- how "magnify" means to "bring closer".  Looking the opposite way will "push away". (He says it in a much better way than I am.  But I'm summarizing).  We often try to push the Lord away because we want our own wants and desires satisfied, demanding that the Lord change His ways to serve us.  This is like looking through the lenses backwards.  That's not the way it's supposed to work.

Then the last part of the lesson "Avoiding Spiritual Blindness by Focusing on the Savior" says something rather interesting.  Elder Cook speaks of "looking beyond the mark" using language that I hadn't heard before. He says a characteristic of looking beyond the mark is "elevating rules above doctrine."

The doctrine was already known.  Homosexual behavior, including giving expression of homosexual feelings, is not, and has never been, acceptable practice before the Lord.  This has unequivocally been taught all the time.  Yet he didn't care about the doctrine (and apparently, neither did his "friends" he spoke of).  He was only interested in "the rules".

Per your response to @Vort, that would probably not go over well whether suicidal or someone simply making a stump speech.  While none of this will do him any good, I'm saying this to help YOU through this.  While we always want to show charity to others no matter what, we cannot show charity by giving up on values we know to be right and true.

Edited March 15, 2020 by Vernor's Ginger Ale