LewisC

I am a widower planning on marrying again in the temple but my kids aren't accepting of it. Please give me some advice

Recommended Posts

19 hours ago, LewisC said:

It sounds like your kids know what they want to do. My kids have no idea so getting a college degree whilst figuring it out seems like a good use of their time. I am getting exasperated with my 18 year old, he just doesn't want to do anything. He graduated high school almost a year ago and hasn't done anything 

For me, that's a terrible use of their time - thousands of dollars spent without direction without any plans of return on that investment.  A better use of their time, in my opinion, would be to go get any full time job until they figure out if they want to do that job for the rest of their life or quit that job and find a different one... when they find a job they'd rather do for the rest of their life, then they can go to college/trade school/certification/etc. specializing in that skillset necessary for the job to edge out the competition.

So, there's this carolina wren that decided to build a nest on the ceiling fan in our patio.  The dogs live in that patio.  The chicks grew up and the momma wren kicked them out of the nest straight into the dogs' lair.  Makes you go hmmm about our own kids.  Of course, you shouldn't just kick an 18-year-old out of the house... but, there comes a time in a parent's life when they'll have to hand over the responsibilities of life to their children so they'll grow up.  Tell him to go get a job and pay you rent or something. 

I have the opposite challenge with my 18-year-old.  He was 17 when he graduated high school.  He was jumping at the bit to go on a mission so he can come home and get married to his girlfriend... but he was still underaged for a mission call so he continued teaching piano and saved up as much as he can so he can support a wife after coming home from the mission.  I'm like... not so fast buddy!  Put on the brakes there...

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 hours ago, LewisC said:

Thank you again for your advice.

 

Quick update: 

 

My 18 year old son moved back home with me as his grandma wanted to self isolate, although he made it very clear to me that it was not by choice. My 19 year old son managed to stay on his mission. There has been a lot of tension in the house but I have enjoyed having my son home again. Regarding the wedding it is on hold due to the virus and my children's objections. I don't know if we will ever be married or how long she will want to wait but that is the situation right now. 

If you're meant to be eternal, she'll wait.  And she'll spend that time of waiting building a relationship with your kids.  And you'll spend that time also rebuilding that relationship with your kids.  And so when you get married, you'll be one big eternal family.  Isn't that cool?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/10/2020 at 4:45 PM, anatess2 said:

I have the opposite challenge with my 18-year-old.  He was 17 when he graduated high school.  He was jumping at the bit to go on a mission so he can come home and get married to his girlfriend... but he was still underaged for a mission call so he continued teaching piano and saved up as much as he can so he can support a wife after coming home from the mission.  I'm like... not so fast buddy!  Put on the brakes there...

 

My 18 year old exasperates me, he think he will be getting married this year with no job or education and no place to live. I'll just wait and see how it goes getting married may be the motivation he needs to figure out his future  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now