Is my bishop being fair?


Tara
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My bishop is also my step uncle and recently my family and I we’re living with my step dad (bishops brother). My mom and step dad got into a physical altercation and my step dad kicked my mom my husband my 3 young children and myself out of the house leaving us homeless with just the clothes on our back. Our bishop has yet to reach out to us my mother has even contacted him with no response. He even came to the court hearing but barely acknowledged her. Should we just find another bishop to help us out or what are our options in this situation? We really need a 3rd party person to come to the house with us to retrieve some of our belongings. 

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6 hours ago, Tara said:

My bishop is also my step uncle and recently my family and I we’re living with my step dad (bishops brother). My mom and step dad got into a physical altercation and my step dad kicked my mom my husband my 3 young children and myself out of the house leaving us homeless with just the clothes on our back. Our bishop has yet to reach out to us my mother has even contacted him with no response. He even came to the court hearing but barely acknowledged her. Should we just find another bishop to help us out or what are our options in this situation? We really need a 3rd party person to come to the house with us to retrieve some of our belongings. 

Contact the police dept.  They can have an officer present while you retrieve your personal belongings.  

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6 hours ago, Tara said:

My bishop is also my step uncle and recently my family and I we’re living with my step dad (bishops brother). My mom and step dad got into a physical altercation and my step dad kicked my mom my husband my 3 young children and myself out of the house leaving us homeless with just the clothes on our back. Our bishop has yet to reach out to us my mother has even contacted him with no response. He even came to the court hearing but barely acknowledged her. Should we just find another bishop to help us out or what are our options in this situation? We really need a 3rd party person to come to the house with us to retrieve some of our belongings. 

"Is my bishop being fair?"
There is not enough information in your post, none of us were there and lastly we would only be hearing one side of the story anyways.

" We really need a 3rd party person to come to the house with us to retrieve some of our belongings."
That is what the police are for, not the Bishop.

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What a heart-wrenching situation! Reading the OP, I can envision social workers, therapists, yes police, and possibly attorneys all getting involved. Should this conflict pass, and the relationship be restored, the bishop may become a part of that--down the road. If not, family getting back to a place of being sheltered and stable may also involve a bishop. Again, though, there seems to be some intense work that will happen before that. Other than offering prayers, and perhaps a measure of spiritual presence, spiritual care workers are mostly behind the scenes (unless a chaplain gets involved...probably a volunteer from the Fire/police department).

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6 hours ago, Tara said:

My bishop is also my step uncle and recently my family and I we’re living with my step dad (bishops brother). My mom and step dad got into a physical altercation and my step dad kicked my mom my husband my 3 young children and myself out of the house leaving us homeless with just the clothes on our back. Our bishop has yet to reach out to us my mother has even contacted him with no response. He even came to the court hearing but barely acknowledged her. Should we just find another bishop to help us out or what are our options in this situation? We really need a 3rd party person to come to the house with us to retrieve some of our belongings. 

@Tara, what country are you writing from?

 

 

This is a legal matter, and should be appealed to legal authorities.  

If you're American, you need to contact the police.  You want to have a police report written and have a police escort to ensure your safety while retrieving your things.  

If you're from another country, you'll have to work with whatever legal system is there.

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53 minutes ago, NeedleinA said:

"Is my bishop being fair?"
There is not enough information in your post, none of us were there and lastly we would only be hearing one side of the story anyways.

" We really need a 3rd party person to come to the house with us to retrieve some of our belongings."
That is what the police are for, not the Bishop.

Police won’t get involved in a civil case we contacted them since we’re not “tresspassed” from the property we would have to find a 3rd party person that we both trust that will keep the peace. 

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1 hour ago, pam said:

Contact the police dept.  They can have an officer present while you retrieve your personal belongings.  

They won’t already contacted them. They said we can go get our things with or with out a 3rd party person and if things get heated to call the police and they can come stand by while we grab our items

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35 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

@Tara, what country are you writing from?

 

 

This is a legal matter, and should be appealed to legal authorities.  

If you're American, you need to contact the police.  You want to have a police report written and have a police escort to ensure your safety while retrieving your things.  

If you're from another country, you'll have to work with whatever legal system is there.

Police have already been involved court date set have tried contacting local women and children centers they are overwhelming busy during this pandemic. And unfortunately police won’t do an escort unless things get escalated while retrieving our belongings 

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7 hours ago, Tara said:

My bishop is also my step uncle and recently my family and I we’re living with my step dad (bishops brother). My mom and step dad got into a physical altercation and my step dad kicked my mom my husband my 3 young children and myself out of the house leaving us homeless with just the clothes on our back. Our bishop has yet to reach out to us my mother has even contacted him with no response. He even came to the court hearing but barely acknowledged her. Should we just find another bishop to help us out or what are our options in this situation? We really need a 3rd party person to come to the house with us to retrieve some of our belongings. 

1. Tara, how can we possibly know if the bishop is being "fair"? What did your stepfather kick you out of the house for? Because he's a raging, abusive alcoholic and he snapped? Because your mom, you, and your husband are raging, abusive alcoholics and he's had enough? Because someone keeps the TV loud when he's trying to relax in his wood shop? Because someone keeps pilfering items from his collection of solid gold historical figurines, and he's $30,000 down now? I can think of good, solid reasons and awful reasons why a man might kick his wife and her children (and grandchildren) to the curb. What is his brother the bishop supposed to do? That would depend largely on what the background to the situation is, and we don't know that background.

The bishop generally should be helping you in your distress, whether or not he's your stepfather's brother. But if he has determined that you probably are not in immediate need, maybe he thinks you're good for now. We can neither condemn nor justify the bishop's actions, because we don't know the situation

2. "Finding another bishop" won't help. It's not the problem of the bishop from the next ward or stake over, and he has no authority to act or intervene. If you were to contact another bishop, he would probably give you the name and phone number of your step-uncle and tell you to contact him.

3. If you need a third party for retrieving your belongings, then as several people have already noted, that's a police matter. Have you tried contacting your stepfather and asking him to make your stuff available to you?

I'm sorry for the sad situation you're in and the pain it's causing you. My best and, really, only advice is to keep a level head, try to treat people (including your stepfather) as you would like to be treated, and use the police for policing matters such as retrieval of belongings. And also pray in humility. That's never a bad thing to do. Best of luck to you.

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Hi Tara,

Go to your ministering brothers and sisters with this.  They should be your first contact, and should be the ones helping you at this time.  If they don't answer, go to the Elders Quorum president and Relief Society president, and tell them you need help and the people assigned to minister to you aren't responding.

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Mods, Tara's responses were not there when I replied. I'm almost positive. And after I replied, they still weren't there. Now they're showing up BEFORE my reply. What's up with that? Just my own browser problem?

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9 minutes ago, Vort said:

Mods, Tara's responses were not there when I replied. I'm almost positive. And after I replied, they still weren't there. Now they're showing up BEFORE my reply. What's up with that? Just my own browser problem?

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42 minutes ago, Vort said:

Mods, Tara's responses were not there when I replied. I'm almost positive. And after I replied, they still weren't there. Now they're showing up BEFORE my reply. What's up with that? Just my own browser problem?

Haha.

I'm not a mod, but from year's on this forum here's my answer: when a person first comes to this forum, their first 3 posts require mod review before getting posted.  This is a needed anti-troll thing because we get so many trolls.  So there's a delay between when the new poster replies and when the post actually shows up visible for us all.  Tara responded before you, but because of that delay it didn't show up visible until after you posted.  

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New posters are automatically put in an approval queue.  So an hour or three can go by, before a mod shows up and approves them.  When they're approved, they show up chronologically from when they're posted, not when they're approved.

(We catch a handful of spammers per week because of this process.  We figure this board doesn't want cheap rolex watches or free viagra, or to know the evils of the mormon cult.)

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