Hello Everyone


Maya
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So here we are .... looks like a nice place. I been answering many topics... but there are sooo many of us here that I think it might be better I say HI to all refugies, like my self and say HI to all new ones in my intro.

I am a woman who should stil work some 10 years before pension. I am a leader of a small kindergarten and that means I lead it and I also lead a group of children. This means work, work and work.... I suffer from dysleksi and dysgraphi ... so that is why my letters are jumpy... why my English is not that good and I dont always find right words is because ... English is my 3rd language. I live in Norway (my Norwegean is even worse) And I lived my first 30 years in Finland and go with a Finnish pasport.

I been always very religious. I was a sundayschoolteacher to kids since I was 17. A really "good girl". I married at 25. Had a kid, wondered is this all life has to offer us, is it going to be like this the rest of my life, isnt there anything better? Met the missionaries... lovedthe gospel! I knew there was something better! After a few years got an other kid, devorced my ex who was very much against the Church. Made me read all kinds of anti stuff. Found a wonderfull man a Norwegean, a member of the Church. Got two wonderful boys that have been a real pleasure to be a mother to. (Even though the younger has problems with school... do not want to attend).

Been in primary/childrensroom some 25 years. A good friend of mine asked help in a forum once... there were a lot of people writting anti stuff and I went to help her. I still hang there sometimes and may ask some questions here, that you may think are faith tearing.... but I do that only to get help to answer the questions they have. My faith is strong, but my faith in me doing right is not strong.... BTW I should hold a speach next sunday of sister Pearsons speach in May Liahona...the conference one... UH!

So got married.... For 5 years I tought NO ONE could be happier than I was, my hubby was in stake leadership and then sudenly my life just crashed down. All my dreams were brutally torn away from me by a few words of confession. I tought a lot about what was right to do when your aim is in the eternity with your Hevenly Father and your family and came in to the conclution that forgiveness is a must in order to be able to live eternally in front of my Savior and His Father. Also I had to think of my kids. Knowing how difficult it would be for me to teach them the rigt way alone, I decided to keep the family together with all powers I had. After 9 years however my family was torn apart.

God forgives, but the people dont. You might say I lost the two oldest children because of evel whispering telling them, there should not be any forgivenes and that I am a fool and stupid, if not a lawbreaker myself, because I still am keeping the rest of the family together. Many times I wonder what the ** am I doing. Life would be so much easier at least to me, if I just would pack up and leave. But I cant push away the very first feeling of peace I got the very first time I learned about the confession. I tought we can do it.... now I am not so sure we can. Not mentioning the powerful dream I had before even meeting my hubby.

I dont see devorce as a sollution, it is an escape of things you have to face one day anyway. We lived apart for a while a few years all together and my sons missed their father enormously and I missed him too. The bad thing about that was, that we grew away from each other quite a lot and I honestly cant say we have so much incommon any more. Even though everything seems to get slowly back to its place, I feel very insecure, expecting something to come an destroy everything again. I know there has been many who think I made wrong decitions... many in Church here and I felt their contempt. I have been forced to freeze my feelings in many things, like grandchildren, which I cant meet, as the mother thinks she did not get enough what she wanted as a child, youth.... I am just so tired I would like to just sleep, sleep and sleep... I feel like a bypasser looking at everyone having fun behind the fence.

I dream to see the lands of the Book of Mormon one day and visit SL and to send my sons out to mission. I take each day as it comes and dont excpect anything of tomorrow.

Sorry got a bit long... oh one thing I forgot, warning: ... hardlife needs rough humor... I shoot with hard bullets sometimes... not meaning to hurt anyone. Love you guys and I am thankful if you can tolerate me here. ;)

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So here we are .... looks like a nice place. I been answering many topics... but there are sooo many of us here that I think it might be better I say HI to all refugies, like my self and say HI to all new ones in my intro.

Sorry got a bit long... oh one thing I forgot, warning: ... hardlife needs rough humor... I shoot with hard bullets sometimes... not meaning to hurt anyone. Love you guys and I am thankful if you can tolerate me here. ;)

Welcome Maya

Nice to see you found your way over here.

Larry P

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Thanks guys.. time forme to go zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz so bee god while I am gone. This really looks ok froum.. some interesting threads too! Probably working 13 hours tomorrow so see ya....

The avatar is my boat at my summerhome in Finland...

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Welcome Maya! My heart welled up as I read your words!! I have been where you are and I know the pain! I did not stay with my husband, I give you credit for sticking it out! I took my kids and left. I am now raising them alone. We all suffer trials in this life, but it is only a blip on the screen. Eternity will make all this seem like child's play. I know that sounds like a cliche, but really...it WILL be worth it all! And this life is nothing compared to eternity!!!

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Welcome Maya! My heart welled up as I read your words!! I have been where you are and I know the pain! I did not stay with my husband, I give you credit for sticking it out! I took my kids and left. I am now raising them alone. We all suffer trials in this life, but it is only a blip on the screen. Eternity will make all this seem like child's play. I know that sounds like a cliche, but really...it WILL be worth it all! And this life is nothing compared to eternity!!!

Yes Y.... Eternity will make it seem childs play..... But it sure takes a LOOOONG time.... We are all in the Church now... except my girls.... one of which just wisited us :o So the days of wonders is not over ...

Thanks to everyone for your inputs.

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Yes Y.... Eternity will make it seem childs play..... But it sure takes a LOOOONG time.... We are all in the Church now... except my girls.... one of which just wisited us :o So the days of wonders is not over ...

Thanks to everyone for your inputs.

It is all about perspective, my friend!! We see things from an Earthly, finite mind...It seems like forEVER right now...but just you wait a few years!! Remember when we were kids, waiting for Christmas? Now, Christmas comes WAY too soon for this broke, single mother!!! Like I said...It is ALL about perspective!!!!!
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