Celestial Room


Carborendum
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My two sons both went through the temple for their endowments on the same day.  I'm so very proud of both of them.

For the prayer circle, my wife stood with my eldest (Ffenix) and my mother-in-law stood with the younger (The Bear).  Meanwhile, my FIL and I sat in the seats as the only attendees without partners.  The two ladies later remarked how fulfilled they felt, standing with their son and grandson respectively.  They felt so proud of them.  I think I even saw a tear from each of their eyes.

When it came time to go through, the two young men were scheduled to be last.  That meant that parents and grandparents were waiting in the Celestial Room for them.  As they came in one-at-a-time, I reached out to each and whispered in his ear, "Welcome to the Celestial Kingdom."  

The older son is known for being rather emotionless.  But the embrace he gave me at that moment was like nothing I've ever received from him.  And for just that short time, I really felt like I was in the Celestial Kingdom.

Afterward, I took advantage of being in the Celestial Room to speak a bit more openly about some lessons I'd learned in the temple.  I also said more things that I cannot write, but felt inspired by the Spirit to teach them at that time.

It was rather disappointing when the temple matron informed us that we had to leave to allow the next session to have the Celestial Room to themselves.

I really want the temples open NOW!

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On 4/22/2021 at 11:46 AM, Carborendum said:

When it came time to go through, the two young men were scheduled to be last.  That meant that parents and grandparents were waiting in the Celestial Room for them.  As they came in one-at-a-time, I reached out to each and whispered in his ear, "Welcome to the Celestial Kingdom."  

The older son is known for being rather emotionless.  But the embrace he gave me at that moment was like nothing I've ever received from him.  And for just that short time, I really felt like I was in the Celestial Kingdom

Any advice for those of us whose children are all becoming atheists because our ward is rather elitist and the teens snub our kids for being in the "poor part of the ward?" Yes, one of my girls actually had another girl say that too her. She also once bought a shirt at DI that she really was excited about because she used her own money. Her "friend" in the ward said, "we don't shop at DI because my mom said, that is where people go that are too lazy to get a good paying job."

Frankly, if I did not already have a testimony I would probably be at the least and agnostic.

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3 hours ago, Emmanuel Goldstein said:

Any advice for those of us whose children are all becoming atheists because our ward is rather elitist and the teens snub our kids for being in the "poor part of the ward?" Yes, one of my girls actually had another girl say that too her. She also once bought a shirt at DI that she really was excited about because she used her own money. Her "friend" in the ward said, "we don't shop at DI because my mom said, that is where people go that are too lazy to get a good paying job."

Frankly, if I did not already have a testimony I would probably be at the least and agnostic.

My 2cents - Help kids understand that in spiritual things we are all equally capable. It is only in temporal things that unfairness is the rule. Help them learn from God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit. His Spirit and Wisdom is available to all without cost or prejudice. 

This talk is one of my favorites to help people understand these principles better: Stand Forever: Lawrence E. Corbridge, BYU Speeches

Last of all, I learned the virtues of thrift store shopping as an early teen. It made my meager teenage paychecks go a lot further. Later, when I was dating my wife she complemented a piece of clothing I was wearing and when I told her what a deal I scored at the thrift store on it she recoiled and said "Ew!"  But I promised her a life of poverty and I've delivered, so she is an avid thrift store shopper now too 👍

 

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On 5/2/2021 at 4:44 PM, Emmanuel Goldstein said:

Any advice for those of us whose children are all becoming atheists because our ward is rather elitist and the teens snub our kids for being in the "poor part of the ward?" Yes, one of my girls actually had another girl say that too her. She also once bought a shirt at DI that she really was excited about because she used her own money. Her "friend" in the ward said, "we don't shop at DI because my mom said, that is where people go that are too lazy to get a good paying job."

Frankly, if I did not already have a testimony I would probably be at the least and agnostic.

The easiest way to get rich is to, of course, make a lot of money. The best way however is to save the money you make. Those are the people that are more likely to stay rich. We love thrift stores and still peruse the DI every now and then. I guess once I get a better job I can move up to Walmart. :)

There are several very "well off" families in our ward. Multiple luxury cars and ATV's, boats, unnecessarily large homes, luxury clothing and jewelry, frequent lavish vacations, etc... Yet because we are wise with our money and don't spend unnecessarily, I am sure I have a higher net worth then they do. I know one family in particular that is over 1 million in debt, yet refuse to curb their spending. There are plenty of examples in scripture detailing how the Lord feels about the rich who are vain vs poor/humble people. This is a hard concept for children to understand and accept though as their minds are typically focused on the here and now, and material things.

There is also a very wealthy man 2 streets down from me who only drives used cars, doesn't buy new clothing until his old clothes wear out, and their home is not grandiose in any way. He has paid for several members of our ward to serve missions...and almost no one knows about his charity. Very few know how successful he is given the lack of pomp in his appearance. The Lord doesn't care how much money you make...He only cares about what you do with it. I believe for some on this earth, that is a part of their test. Some are born into a life of luxury, and others poverty. Some are blessed with money, and others have many financial disasters befall them that are out of their control. How will each of them choose to react to their temporal blessings or shortcomings?

 

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15 hours ago, Emmanuel Goldstein said:

Any advice for those of us whose children are all becoming atheists because our ward is rather elitist and the teens snub our kids for being in the "poor part of the ward?" Yes, one of my girls actually had another girl say that too her. She also once bought a shirt at DI that she really was excited about because she used her own money. Her "friend" in the ward said, "we don't shop at DI because my mom said, that is where people go that are too lazy to get a good paying job."

Frankly, if I did not already have a testimony I would probably be at the least and agnostic.

While I feel very sorrowful over your situation, I'm not sure what it as to do with the OP.

The behavior you describe is reprehensible.  And it should not be tolerated in an LDS Church.  I believe Elder Bednar was saying something about this in some more affluent stakes that he visited.  It also causes those "elitists" to be so materialistic that they don't want to leave their Lamborghini to go on a mission.  I simply cannot fathom what kind of mindset would think that way, nor can I perceive of the cognitive disconnect between the Gospel of Jesus Christ and that same attitude.

What I can say is that I've felt that my family has felt both wide acceptance and severe ostracizing in different wards in my life.  But we've toughed out the hard times and appreciated the good times.

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On 5/2/2021 at 4:44 PM, Emmanuel Goldstein said:

Any advice for those of us whose children are all becoming atheists because our ward is rather elitist and the teens snub our kids for being in the "poor part of the ward?" Yes, one of my girls actually had another girl say that too her. She also once bought a shirt at DI that she really was excited about because she used her own money. Her "friend" in the ward said, "we don't shop at DI because my mom said, that is where people go that are too lazy to get a good paying job."

Frankly, if I did not already have a testimony I would probably be at the least and agnostic.

That is a terrible thing to tell someone.  Unfortunately, I don't have a ton of advice to give on it.

There is a trend in the Church today to teach what others call the prosperity gospel.  It is the idea that the more righteous one is, the richer they get.  This is unfortunately reinforced many times by who they call into leadership positions.  It seems that many times the richer you are, the better chances one has of being called into higher leadership positions.  This also reinforces other fallacious stereotypes among some types of members.

I'm not sure how to help, but I have also felt a similar thing when I was younger.  I remained an elder for many years, even as most of my peers became High Priests and several got high Church Leadership positions.  There were many that equated their righteousness with riches, and ostracized me and others in the ward because we were not considered "righteous" enough as they were.  This was painful. 

IT DID teach me a valuable lesson so that when I finally was made a leader I could understand struggles others have in the ward, but it makes it no less hard to bear.  I have found there are MORE who are not rich than there are that are.  Unfortunately it seems, in many instances, those with money are those that are granted all the good things in a ward at times, along with popularity and callings, while the rest are left to rot.  In many places the same dozen rich individuals are constantly given the leader rotation while everyone else is left out.  The implications are that only those dozen are righteous enough for the callings, while everyone else is not. 

I feel this is distinctly untrue and wrong, but it happens.  What your daughter is experiencing unfortunately also extends into adulthood sometimes.  I don't have any answers to the problem except to say continue to love them and show them that no matter what others say or do, she is still loved.

Buying things at thrift stores is commendable.  Being able to buy things with her own money is outstanding.  I know many children do not do this or are given things abundantly by their parents.  Showing one's own initiative is far better and greater.  Unfortunately, hearing an adult or their parent tell them this in many instances is not good enough for a teen.  The comments and statements by their peers affect them strongly.  I have no answers for you unfortunately on how to make the situation better.  I can only suggest what you are already doing which is to love her and help her understand that she is loved no matter what.

Today there are many that try to equate how well of they are, their callings in the church, or how big their house is to how righteous they are.  I have seen this attitude destroy the testimony of others.  It can be a hard thing to endure.  I would remind others of certain statements that the Lord has said at times (it is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than a rich man to heaven, blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth, blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven, the first shall be last and the last shall be first...etc) so that they understand that the Lord is not a lover of riches.  It isn't how much we have in this life, but how we act to others and our love for others.  It may be that it will be easier for the atheist or agnostic who was charitable and blessed the lives of others to get to heaven than one who was a member of the church but was full of pride and arrogance. 

Tradition has it that our Lord and Savior was not rich (it is more a tradition than what we actually know though).  That he wandered among others teaching his gospel.  He did not put on extravagant shows of wealth, or wear fine clothes.  Instead he traveled among others of his station and those who were poor, sick, and in need.  He had more praise for the widow's mite than all the riches of the Scribes and Pharisees, the Lawyers and Kings, and the Wealthy Merchants and Traders.  I know it probably isn't what your daughter is looking for or even needs to hear, but I think the Lord looks more favorably upon the humble and loving heart than those who pride themselves in riches, and at the final days those who are humble and meek are the ones that the Lord will put on a pedestal while those who have put their pride in the world will be the ones who will wonder why they are not favored as highly.

 

PS:  And of all people, the above should be a warning to me as well as I need to show more love, compassion, and charity to others around me.  I need to be more humble and loving than I have been.

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On 5/3/2021 at 8:34 AM, Carborendum said:

I believe Elder Bednar was saying something about this in some more affluent stakes that he visited.  It also causes those "elitists" to be so materialistic that they don't want to leave their Lamborghini to go on a mission.

Although this is off topic, I was in a meeting once with the Presiding Bishop of the church. He made the remark that the real reason for 401k/retirement plans being introduced in the world was so that in "retirement" individuals and couples would be able to serve in temples and as missionaries while still relatively young. The Lord was providing His servants with additional opportunities to help each other. Church leaders feel sorrow that so few choose to serve missions in retirement, and instead choose to travel the world, go on cruises, buy new cars for no reason, and waste their wealth in riotous living. So may aspects of our lives are so easy compared to the tens of billions of people who lived on the earth before us, and even billions more currently living on it. How do we choose to thank the Lord for what He has given us? Do we freely give of ourselves, or just build bigger barns?

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On 5/5/2021 at 11:16 AM, JohnsonJones said:

Unfortunately, hearing an adult or their parent tell them this in many instances is not good enough for a teen.  The comments and statements by their peers affect them strongly.  I have no answers for you unfortunately on how to make the situation better.  I can only suggest what you are already doing which is to love her and help her understand that she is loved no matter what.

Sadly, both of my two oldest daughters have left the church and no longer believe in God. But, they do know that my wife and I love them. My oldest son seems to want to go on a mission and is pretty devoted to his testimony. I am at a loss with my younger son who is 15 and has secretly been going to LGBTQ club. So, I really feel alone with our ward, some of the members are really good people, but they are so busy, they have no time for friendship really. We have a good bishop, but he frankly seems rather burned out with trying to keep the ward afloat. I don't know if it is really worth it anymore and I wonder if I am wasting my time even trying anymore. I guess I am just doomed to a life of struggle and disappointment. 

I appreciate your comment though, and the time it took for you to write it.

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On 5/2/2021 at 4:44 PM, Emmanuel Goldstein said:

Any advice for those of us whose...

I've found that hanging my testimony, or my happiness, on the kindness or smarts of humans around me, has often been a losing proposition.  So I don't do either.  My testimony springs from the reality and divinity of God, and I at least try to gain happiness from worthy sources.

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