I think I need to see a therapist...


Backroads
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3 hours ago, Backroads said:

But I don't know if I trust therapists.

I'm not saying always, but many times...  

we simply just need someone (set of ears) outside of our circle of friends/family/associates that we can vomit our feelings/thoughts upon. No worries of it coming back to bite us. I struggle with X, I think about Y, I'm great at A but fail at B, I hate M and don't give a rat's behind about L, so on and so forth. 

Over the years, I'm less and less under the illusion that the person needed to accomplish this needs to be a 'therapist'. Especially with the caliber of therapist I see more and more. 
There is a great weight that can be lifted by simply verbalizing things out loud.
This in part, is a small reason, why I think Bishops are such a valuable tool to many members... they just need to share X with someone in confidence. 

Edited by NeedleinA
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On 6/19/2021 at 9:11 PM, Backroads said:

But I don't know if I trust therapists.

I'd love to unload on a neutral unbiased party that has useful insight, but I also don't want any someone from a different system of morality or beholden to such by the profession.

That's the rub, really.   Lots of wolves in sheep's clothing out there.

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31 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

The painter forgot the comma.

Winnie the Pooh, John the Baptist, and Jimmy the Greek beg to differ.

31 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Then so did the guy behind him.

That one I agree with. And so do John and Jimmy. (Winnie is a little weak on punctuation.)

Edited by Vort
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On 6/19/2021 at 8:11 PM, Backroads said:

But I don't know if I trust therapists.

I'd love to unload on a neutral unbiased party that has useful insight, but I also don't want any someone from a different system of morality or beholden to such by the profession.

Part of picking a therapist is you interviewing them to find one you like and is cool helping you go where you want to go, and how you want to get there. 

You don’t need (and shouldn’t ) join with someone random or you’re out of sync with. And that’s not what a good therapist wants either. 

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On 6/19/2021 at 7:11 PM, Backroads said:

But I don't know if I trust therapists.

I'd love to unload on a neutral unbiased party that has useful insight, but I also don't want any someone from a different system of morality or beholden to such by the profession.

My wife and I accidentally found 2 good therapists in a row. We then only found bad ones after that. LDS services tends to be a good source. I am torn on using therapists

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But I don't know if I trust therapists.

What caused the mistrust? (if you would like to share)

Also, please engage someone who is a dedicated professional, it is perfectly okay to meet several to see if you can connect. People believe psychologists are paid just to listen to someone's problems and get tons of money for doing "nothing". This is definitely not the case (there are bad apples in all professions).

Having said that, psychotherapy (talk therapy) is extremely beneficial but you cannot do it with an aunt who is just a great listener, it doesn't work that way. There is a reason why people spend 10+ years in school!

Wishing you all the best.

 

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3 hours ago, LDSGator said:

Curious as to why you think it might be a negative. Not an argument, honest question. 

Specifically for people who haven’t had traumatic events in their live, I doubt it’s effectiveness for a couple reasons

For therapy to really work, you need a GREAT therapist. Not an ok one, not a good one. You NEED someone who is both knowledgeable, but also someone you can respect and trust. There are not a ton of those. I have seen probably 6 or so. One was great, one was really good, three were good, one was awful. The only time I felt like I got anything from the paycheck I cut was with the very first one and the one that I thought was great. All the others were just ok… stuff I could have YouTubed really.

Also,  I’m not really the type of person that benefits from long term therapy. There was a point where I was like “I know just as much as this guy/gal with a PHD.” After the first 5 or so visits, everything just became repeats. My wife, who is far more emotional than I am, even agreed with me.

I think everyone should see a therapist in the same way so think everyone should take a Philosophy 101 class. Learn just enough basics so you think critically and understand the basics a good argument or reasoning. I think there is value to be had in seeing the process of how to deal with emotions, things that maybe were not taught to you growing up. 
 

Therapy is probably more useful for those going through or working through traumatic experiences.

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9 hours ago, Fether said:

Specifically for people who haven’t had traumatic events in their live, I doubt it’s effectiveness for a couple reasons

For therapy to really work, you need a GREAT therapist. Not an ok one, not a good one. You NEED someone who is both knowledgeable, but also someone you can respect and trust. There are not a ton of those. I have seen probably 6 or so. One was great, one was really good, three were good, one was awful. The only time I felt like I got anything from the paycheck I cut was with the very first one and the one that I thought was great. All the others were just ok… stuff I could have YouTubed really.

Also,  I’m not really the type of person that benefits from long term therapy. There was a point where I was like “I know just as much as this guy/gal with a PHD.” After the first 5 or so visits, everything just became repeats. My wife, who is far more emotional than I am, even agreed with me.

I think everyone should see a therapist in the same way so think everyone should take a Philosophy 101 class. Learn just enough basics so you think critically and understand the basics a good argument or reasoning. I think there is value to be had in seeing the process of how to deal with emotions, things that maybe were not taught to you growing up. 
 

Therapy is probably more useful for those going through or working through traumatic experiences.

Very interesting. Thank you! 

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14 hours ago, LDSGator said:

Curious as to why you think it might be a negative. Not an argument, honest question. 

It can be hard to drop the money and time on therapy just to find out the therapist doesn't click with you.

When my wife and I started, I liked my therapist and it worked out well.  My wife went through three therapists before liking the fourth one.

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4 hours ago, dprh said:

It can be hard to drop the money and time on therapy just to find out the therapist doesn't click with you.

When my wife and I started, I liked my therapist and it worked out well.  My wife went through three therapists before liking the fourth one.

You guys both make great points, totally valid. 
 

 There is a huge difference between what both of you said and those who just make stupid jokes about therapy based out fear and ignorance. You are both 100% correct. 

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Guest Godless

Therapy can ve very useful if you can find a good therapist, and you might not on the first try. The first therapist I tried wasn't a good fit. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that my current therapist saved my life more than once over the course of the past year. 

Try to figure out why you feel like you need therapy and do some careful research. Many therapists specialize in specific areas. The common ones are self-esteem issues, suicidal ideation, marriage help, trauma, and anger management. Different therapists will use different methods as well, and those are worth researching. EMDR is a popular treatment for trauma, for instance, and people with emotional disorders like clinical depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder are often treated with DBT and/or CBT. I'm currently in a DBT program and it's been very helpful.

As a general rule, therapists are supposed to treat patients without bias towards their religious or moral background. That said, there are therapists out there who focus on religious/spiritual-based treatment, and hopefully it shouldn't be hard for you to find a good fit in Utah if that's your priority. I hope you're able to find someone that helps. A good therapist can be a life-changer. Good luck.

Edited by Godless
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Fun personal story:

My teen daughter has struggled with a lot of stuff over the last 2-3 years.  We finally found her a counselor, which didn't work for her.  The next counselor didn't work for her.  She picked her own counselor from a list of who was covered by my insurance.  And she picked someone I can only describe as a woke liberal with purple hair who does art therapy, with a specialty in helping children deal with coming out of the closet around hostile family members. 😡    I immediately despised her from the moment I saw her profile.  The decision to allow visits almost did not survive my wife and I talking about it.  Had to pick pronouns just to fill out the intake paperwork.  BARF!

Fast forward a few months, and daughter seems to be making it through stuff.  Her behavior is improving, her school work is improving, her church attendance and relationships with family members are improving.  On the occasional check-ins the therapist does with us parents, I'm left with the impression that for a woke liberal, she does a good job of pretending to be a top-notch teen counselor.

I don't know if there's anything useful that can be gleaned from my story.  I'm certainly not suggesting anyone go find a therapist they immediately hate just after reading about.  Maybe "it's ok to keep trying new until you find something that works"?

Edited by NeuroTypical
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